Twilight

Hi ladies. A late night check in. I'm home. Got too much sun....all broke out on my neck and shoulders. A long drive, but it was a great ride. The kids were wonderful. Listened to most of a book on my ipod. Okay...going to bed. Took benedryl for the rash so I could sleep without scratching myself raw. .... I'm sleepy. See you all in the morning.

Good morning ladies. I just read everything. Just a very quick check in as I have a lot to do in the next 4 hours and then going to head out to get home late tonight. The sale brought in $3000. More than I ever dreamed but amazing. I was hoping for half that. Kettle corn, Candice, is cooked in a big kettle over an open flame. While it is popping you pour in sugar and it lightly coats the kernels. It's made with popcorn that pops up differently than every day popcorn. Then when it's done you salt it. It is very very good. I'll send some up. I have to say though that everyone's recipe is a little different and a lot of times it's super sweet and not good. I have a fill needle for emergencies. My PA showed Jeff how to do it in case of one. I got it at my first fill appointment and it is still in the car. As tight as I am I wouldn't dream of letting him near me. Please give it serious serious thought before you attempt it. There are so many things that could go wrong. None of them worth losing your band over. But, you're a big girl and will do what you want. Just be careful. Hugs!!! Okay....that's enough time here. I'll talk to you all on the other side of the state. I sure hope you all are getting excited for your trip! Karla, have fun with the CRT items. Wish I could be there for math. Oh well! Love you ladies!!!

Hi ladies. Just popping in to check up so I don't get a million pages behind. My lovely friend TOM showed up today. bleapedy pleapedy bleep! As if I needed ANOTHER thing on my plate. But it did do one positive thing. I ATE TODAY!!! Oatmeal and eggs for breakfast, something for lunch...don't remember what....and a delicious chx salad (with lettuce) for dinner. REAL FOOD! So today was good. As for the yard sale, so far we have raised just over $1300 and we have 1 1/2 more days to go. I'm hoping to get to $3k but that might be a pipe dream. I would like to put a big thank you in the paper here for such wonderful people. We did have a little blip on the screen today when we sold some of my dad's stuff. I had to excuse myself and boohoo. Funny. We talked about it, looked at it all day yesterday...but today when it was being loaded away....I lost it. Reloading equipment for the Lord's sake! Why gets teary over ammo? Go figure. Okay. I'm tired and I know by Monday I'm going to be the walking dead...but having a blast. Oh...I bought a kettle korn business :^) What exactly does a fat woman (and in my head I'll always be a fat woman...just recovered now) need with that? I actually can't eat popcorn right now, so that's alright. It will be fun....and sort of like working at fast food. After a while you can't even stomach it. I'm so excited. I'm going to try to send some to Canada for my friends. It actually isn't bad cal wise. I'll look up cals when I have a chance. Okay...to bed. Love you ladies. I so wish I was going to be in Canada next week. You all have no idea how jealous I am. Well...Karri does...and Kari does....and the rest who didn't get to do MoA last year....but I'm SOOOO jealous. Kettle corn is paying my trip next year :cursing:

Tattle tale!!!! Honestly don't panic. A little hot tea or coffee and everything opens up again. I'll be fine! Just forgot a bag sitting on the counter. So for now I'm doing yogurt smoothies. More cals that way because I need more of them to get my protein in. With the powder I don't need to ALWAYS be drinking a freeking smoothie. Busy day. Filthy dirty crap! But it was fun too. We will pick up balloons tomorrow to put on signs, the big yellow circus tent is up. The snowmobile trailer is filling and then we got a 25 foot trailer to fill. Hopefully will get another one tomorrow. 4 plywood tables, 2 banquet tables. 4 display shelves that we need to clean off so that we can move them out and fill them back up again. My aunt donated her 100+ collection of antique Jim Beam bottles to the cause. I guess if the right person comes along they could be worth something, but I think we won't sell a lot of then. They are very cool though. We have a couple of desks, a couple of big dressers, tools, a lot of crap. It's amazing to me how one family, two people. can collect so much crap. Holy cats! My parents were the Walmart of junk! Karla is going to be extremely amazed at the amount of stuff we have. It's obscene! Okay...it was a long day of dragging stuff out and going through it....so I'm going to call it a night. Just wanted to pop in so you all don't think I've forgotten about you or that anything is wrong. Busy busy when I'm at mom's. I'll give you guys a running total as the days progress Oh....the bakesale next weekend. I was expecting a lot of people...but I heard today they were expecting 100 campers across the street from my house. That is 100 vehicles...each with 3-5 people in it. That doesn't include the campgrounds around town or the motels. I don't think I'll have enough baked goods to go around Oh...but thinking, looked at today, a kettle korn business setup...so maybe I'll just take that to my house and make the money that way. I need Karla and Jean to come out and help me though. Didn't Karla say she would come out to my house? Maybe if she came out she could kidnap me and make me go get an unfill??? OOOOHHHH...there's an idea. You all can give HER a ration and make her feel guilty if she doesn't come rescue me from myself :wink2: Okay...goodnight ladies. Love you.

Janet darling! I love you so much. It is honestly a matter of making the 300 mile trip in the wrong direction. Many many commitments in the way. 1. In June there was actually a time where I went west, for 5 days, drove home for 1 1/2 because of a commitment, drove back west for another 5 days because of state curriculum stuff. 2. Leave tomorrow for out west. My entire family was at home this last weekend but stayed here because of how much time I've been west this summer already. Missed my family reunion I have to go tomorrow to Lincoln or I won't have time to set up yardsale. No yardsale I have to come up with the walk money some other way. I come back on Monday if I'm lucky, Friday-Sunday I have a bake sale. A bunch of people are baking for me, but I still feel guilty if I don't do some of it. Then the next Wed. I have to begin set up for my booth at the fair, which goes Thurs - Sun. Then I have 10 days of breathing room that Jeff may get his sleeve scheduled during. Back west on the 9th for 5 days. Then scheduled a pink ribbon rally for the 29th. It isn't that I don't want to put myself first, it's that in the grand scheme of things, there is just no way. I should know by Thursday if Jeff is scheduling his sleeve during that time and if not I will make the drive. I just don't have a day to give to it. 3. I was supposed to have a yard sale here in June. Everyone keeps asking me about it. It's been put off until sometime in August. I finally stacked everything off to the side in my garage so that I can park in it. I am NOT doing that until I have gone for an unfill. As I type it I know it sounds like I'm making excuses but so many are depending on me. I promise I am keeping my protein up to >70 g. I'm keeping cals at about 1000. Body should not be in starvation mode with those two things, but I know that my head is starving and convincing my body that it should be. Damned head. I promise. At the earliest time possible I will be in for a unfill. I SWEAR it. Jeff is just as concerned and pushing me too. We tried to figure it out on the calendar yesterday. He said he would rather I got unfilled than him getting his surgery....but honestly, if I go down there I will let them unfill me. Okay....gotta get kids to bed. Love you ladies.

Definitely super tight. One of these days my life is going to slow down long enough to be unfilled. The worst part of being this tight is all I can eat is crap food so I'm not losing. That is so counter intuitive, but for any of the new ladies....being too tight is NOT the way to lose faster. It sucks, and your body just holds onto anything that you manage to keep down. I have the needle in the car and think often about letting the docs office here attempt to unfill me, but since I can still get things down and can control my protein with liquids I don't want to go there. Need to buy more fish....or make Jeff take me out to dinner where they have my favorite walleye, more often :thumbdown:

Linda, isn't it you that calls that a Godsmack?? Have to admit that when I had my last crown done the temp came off two times. I said to Jeff, "I wasn't even eating anything sticky. Just some salad." To which he replies, "Maybe it was those 3 boxes of Good n Plentys the days before." Godsmack!!! I'm taking a laundry break because I'm in between loads. 15 mins until I can fold. So I've had QVC on in the background all day. Lots of sell outs. I'm starting to think that, sign of the times, QVC is cutting down on the quantities that they are ordering from their distributors. Each time I thought about ordering anything, it was sold out before I could get online. Ate some oatmeal for breakfast. Went down fine. having some refried beans for lunch. I have chx salad in the fridge for snack. good day ladies. smile a few times today. Oh...Kari, any news on the passport?

I have a million things to do today. Sheesh! I need to pack for the two little ones and me for a week. I need to do some 3day stuff before I go. I need to work on my BITL website for this year. I need to clean the garage and clear room to park car. We leave tomorrow for Lincoln. It will give me 1 day to unpack the basement of my mom's house and price everything. I told her I wasn't worrying too much because we can move more and more out every day. It will give us things to do when it is quiet. A lot is already priced because my dad LOVED garage sales and much of this was already in at least one. I need to get an ad in the local classified paper for the next two weeks advertising my quilts, my bakesale, and my fair booth. My daycare lady told me she would give me a donation. She is the sweetest lady. I'm starting to get overwhelmed with the stuff I'm doing in the next month for the 3day. I don't know if I was really thinking about it when I scheduled things one weekend right after the other. I cleaned out part of my store room (or rather Rose did) when I went to Vegas so we could have a yard sale here in June...then June got crazy busy and I didn't get it done. Well, it's all sitting in the middle of my garage. I haven't been able to park in my garage since the end of May. I need to get everything moved to the side so it can be parked in until I can get my yardsale put together. Sometime in August. My BITL boss sent an email asking me if I could get the website up and running sometime this week. I need to spend a couple of hours working on that today. Like I have time for that today! I really need to be able to say no. Someone give me a backbone! Went to the drive in last night. Up! It wasn't the best kids movie. Jaimi was up a lot last night with nightmares even though she fell asleep about 20 minutes into it. I was up with her in the chair, sleeping in her bed, then finally about 4am I was able to get some sound sleep. But awake at 7. Its rainy today so hopefully I will be able to get a lot done. Okay...I'd better get going. I feel like the white rabbit in Alice...."I'm late, I'm late!!!" Have a great day ladies!

Hi there ladies. Not hiding out because I'm bummed out, just busy. Jeff and I had a feud but all is well. Just very busy with stuff. Jeff's birthday was Friday. We went out for dinner. I had walleye. Finally something that went down. I could eat that EVERYDAY, but I can't cook it so that means eating out everyday....more on that later. I made a crawling cake. Anyone here want an amazing cake to take somewhere, google that. I put mine in an angel food cake pan so that it doesn't crawl....Nick and I made it for Jeff late in the afternoon, frosted it, took it to dinner. Everyone had a piece (except me) and I gave my SIL three big pieces. Came home with a piece about the size of 2 pieces of bundt cake, kids ate one and Jeff had the other. No cake in the house!!!! Go me!!! Yesterday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and stayed that way ALL DAY!! I was crazy angry. At everyone, for everything. I was so nuts that I was seeing red at certain points. But, we then went out to a comedy show, I had an absolutely obscene amount of adult beverages and that helped. I didn't have a headache this morning, which was good. It could have been really ugly. Today we went on our weekly motorcycle cruise. 150 miles. It was fun. It was nice to just get out on the road. Put $5 in a keno machine and cashed out for $35 so that made me smile. Tonight we are taking the family to "Up". The kids may watch it, they may not. They can watch their own movie in the back seat if they don't like it. So...I've been super busy trying to get a million things done before I leave for Rose's on Tuesday. I will be gone for a week. We are having our Pink Ribbon yard sale next Thur-Sun. I've got flyers and raffle tickets made for my quilt raffle. I had to do the 4 flyers for the motorcycle club's rides for the next 4 weeks. I've been organizing friends and family for the bake sale when I get back from Lincoln. .... it's just been crazy so I haven't been here. Nothing wrong...promise. I didn't get an appointment for Monday. She isn't going to be in Minot this month...vacation. So when I get back I have to make the drive to Bismarck to get my unfill. Grrrr....but it will all work out. Jeff is pretty sure he's going to do the sleeve. He had me get my passport form filled out and now I'm just waiting to get photos done. When I'm in Helena they do them instantly so I'll get that in the mail shortly. Kari, if they can't find your paperwork, you can get an expedited passport in 3 days, but it costs more. They may be able to waive the extra fee if you plead your case. The big problem I would guess is getting another certified birth certificate. I know I only have one and if I had to get another one from Utah it would take 2 weeks. Back to the sleeve, the reading I've done in the last week makes me think that if I had it to do all over again, I would do that instead of the band. It does sound like a good intermeiary between band and bypass. Jeff is a little leary about Mexico but I after I told him how many my doc has done compared to the Mexican docs, it makes more sense to have someone with a LOT more experience do it. Looking @ Wasa's doc....because I know she has done her homework and if she trusts him to do it, he must be good. Candice, with my chx salad recipe I don't use Miracle Whip in that. I use it in everything else, but Mayo in salads. I added Lawrey's season salt this last time instead of the celery salt or seed...AWESOME!!! Okay...there were other things I was going to say...but for now...I guess that's enough. Have a great Sunday night ladies. Love you all!!!

Karla, don't be begging for trouble! If it comes to it that your port is turned, then it's turned, but until a doc or pa tells you to worry, let it be. As for the sleeve, wasa was a HUGE supported of lapband 2 years ago. She has good things to say about the sleeve now...but she got to goal just fine with the band. Go back and read her posts from a year ago or more and she had great advice for banders. Don't let her give Doris ammo. You're just fine. Linda, I'm not saying that I am going to let the girls here take a shot at my port, but doc thinks it isn't out of the question. My port is really easy to hit. I, like Candice, think I could probably do it. After a dozen fill/unfills, I'm pretty sure I know the drill. Don't get me wrong...I would NEVER!!! But sometimes I think I COULD. Jeff called the clinic I had mine done at and they had good things to say about the sleeve. They still encourage the lapband, but are seeing more and more patients who are opting for the sleeve. It's 14k here in Bismark. Our income tax refund will pretty much cover the costs of Mexico. Now he just needs to decide he really wants to do it. We will see. Rained here all day. I'm a bit blue. I don't know why. Oh well. I'll get over it. Have a great night ladies.

Oh..forgot. In Mex, banding is about 5k, sleeve is around 8k. Told Jeff we might as well take money out of retirement because if he doesn't do something he's not going to be here to be retired. He agrees....so we will probably cash in something or other. Thanks for thinking of us Candice...but Mex seems to still be the best bet. Plus I get a vacation out of it :smile2:

Hi ladies. I'm doing more research for Jeff and his mom. If you remember, his mom is extremely heavy and is now pretty much house bound because she is afraid to fall again. Her husband my FIL can be a jerk, won't let her get a scooter because that would be embarrassing. Jerk....but he is supporting the surgery option. Our doc has told her he hates the idea of bypass and would sanction banding. I'm now looking at the sleeve. After reading a bit more about it, I'm wondering what you all have heard and what you think. Because Jeff would have surgery in Mexico, we are a little concerned about after care. Doc here says his nurses could do fills....they do chemo with ports all the time....but I'm a little leary of that. The nearest doc that would do fills on a mex patient is 400 miles. Wondering if sleeve would be a better choice for both of them. 1. aftercare 2. MIL being more homebound 3. no adjustments. Thoughts?????

wooohooo!!! good news!!! Jeff told me that his accountant called. If you remember, one of the reasons I couldn't come to Canada in a couple of weeks was because we didn't know what we were going to have to pay in income tax and Jeff kept putting it off. Our extension doesn't run out until Oct 15th so why worry, right? Well, the accountant says we don't owe any more and may possibly be getting a refund!!!! Not much of one, but no money out is a good thing. Now the best part of that is.....Jeff said we couldn't discuss him getting a band until after taxes. Now we can discuss it. Now if I can just get him to call Mexico, we can get that going! I'm so excited! Our doc here said he would get one of his nurses qualified to do fills. That will save a MINT. Anyways. wooohoooo!!! Everyone do a happy dance!!!!!

Good morning ladies! My ticker moved!!! I hadn't moved it UP when I went up so it was waiting for me to catch back up to it, but I got to drop 2.5 pounds!!!! I'm so excited to finally see it going in the right direction. Set my new goal to be down 5 pounds by Aug 7th. Started the day with a smoothie. Will try to get something solid in for lunch. If that goes well, will take out fish for supper. I'm really wanting some real food. I have another call into my dr office. I'd think they were avoiding me if they didn't get money every time I went in. Candice, it is too bad that you lost your camera. When I went back east it was a daily worry of mine. I really really worried about it. I was almost obsessive about it. But, you do have the memories and now that you don't have the pictures you'll have to be that much more descriptive about it when you explain it to people. How much fun! Karla, enjoy the quilting day and don't let your sister irritate you. There really isn't anything you can do about her bad attitude. Just kill her with kindness. Remember, she doesn't know any better. Be sorry for her, not mad at her. That should help. Have a great day ladies. Love you all! Oh yeah, where's Janet?????

I just got home from a walk. 7 miles. Also did a wii active workout today. Feels pretty good. Drank 32 oz of water and a protein smoothie. Life is good. Now I'm tired and going to bed. I'll get pictures up tomorrow. Hugs ladies!

Battery on camera is dead. It is charging while I go for a walk...check back tonight

My darling Phyl!!!! I just got the most amazing box in the mail!!!! Words can't describe how beautiful this quilt is! Thank you thank you thank you! You and Kellie outdid yourselves with your generosity! It is soooooo beautiful! I can't post pictures on here anymore for some reason. They don't ever upload so the rest of you will have to check them out on facebook when I get them posted there!

Hi again ladies! I'm back!! It's been a few days but it was a good few days. An update on the child situation. I did talk to a lawyer on Thursday. I will call him tomorrow if he doesn't call me today. I'm hoping to get everything settled soon. I really don't want to go to court. He was going to drive past the area, look at the police report, then talk to the city attorney. Keep your fingers crossed. Had a great 4th weekend. Jeff took the afternoon of the 3rd off. We went kayaking for a little bit but it was windy, so we came home and cleaned up the yard and had an impromptu bbq. I made burgers, brats, and chx burgers for everyone, so potatoes, and just kicked back and enjoyed. Then on the 4th, we rode our bikes in the parade and then spent the afternoon with friends. Yesterday we went on a 200 mile ride. It really was a great relaxing weekend. I even managed to eat a little bit. Yesterday we had lunch at a mexican rest. and decided I need to go get some refried beans and I can eat those even when I can't eat other stuff. Still haven't heard from the fill lady. I wonder if she went out of town for the holiday. I will check again tomorrow and see if she can fit me in next Monday. Keep your fingers crossed. I'm eating a chx. burger now. I guess I got about a 1/4 of one in. Not much, but better than the nothing I had been getting in. I'll be happy when I can eat again. The scale seems to be moving downward again. Better than that, my pants are beginning to fit again. I've started walking again. Did 6 1/2 miles yesterday. Will try to get to the lake this afternoon when Michael gets home from work to kayak and then will walk tonight. Going to try to get 10 miles tonight. Weird thing....yesterday I was getting very hungry when I was walking and I could eat a fiber one bar. I thought to try one to quell the hunger even if it came back, but it went down without a problem. I was pretty excited about THAT. so maybe I'm able to eat a little more when I'm exercising. I sure hope so. Candice, it sounds like you had a fabulous time in France. I am so happy! It sounds like a fabulous 2 weeks. I hope DH enjoyed his retirement present. Glad your SIL2B is so wonderful. Janet must have had a good time this weekend. Hopefully. Im keeping my fingers crossed for that anyways. Linda, it is sad that everything seems to revolve around food...but that means we are going to have to work that much harder so that we change our habits to NOT do so. I have to say I enjoyed cooking for everyone else and by the time I was done, I wasn't overly hungry....and at our friends bbq I enjoyed watching everyone else eat but didn't hear the food calling to me. I had told the friends that we were doing something for dinner so I didn't want to ruin my appetite and they didn't seem to mind a bit. I had it in my head that we were doing something for dinner sos I didn't feel the urge to eat...and when we got him I got dinner ready for Jeff and the kids and went walking. It was so nice. I got home and ate a bit of something...can't even remember what exactly....and my day was wonderful. It was amazing that I didn't let food consume me even though I was around it. A HUGE step. Karri, don't work so hard. I know you have a lot to do, but remember that you have to take care of you too. You can't just take a break when your body is so tired it gets sick. You need to take a break BEFORE that point! Karla, I'm glad you were able to take a break with your dad and see that he is doing better than your mom made it sound. She needs to get over herself and take care of your dad! You don't worry about the walk. Take care of yourself. You have to do what you have to do. That does not mean you can stop exercising. You can walk the 20 miles a day at HOME while we are walking it in Seattle. You can be part of the team even though you aren't there! How's that? Okay....I'd better get going. I have a ton of stuff to do. Have a great day ladies! Love you all!

ROFL!!! I know I shouldn't laugh at you but honestly your descriptions make me so happy. Sounds just like my DH! I'm not sure what type of pictures he had taken of his eyes but I had mapping done when I was having my lasik done...It was a little uncomfortable but not that bad. The worst has always been the exams. I'm sure it's just a combination of all things. Poor poor guy....ROFL!!! He needs a good swift kick....and you better let him know to enjoy it while you CAN'T do it because he's asking for a butt kickin if he throws these little temper tantrums after your knees are better! You're the best!

I ATE TACO SALAD!!! I ATE TACO SALAD!!! I DIDN'T GET STUCK!!! Okay...no big deal I guess...but it's the first real food that hasn't come back in quite a while. More meat and salsa than lettuce, but I'm so excited. It felt sooooo good. Maybe my restriction is lifting a bit. Still going to get some removed but at least I had a meal!

Good morning ladies! Just a quick check in. Do I say that every day??? I'm getting to be too predictable. I have a question for Karri!!! Did you really say a POUND of fruit when you gave those calorie totals? Did you MEAN a pound???? My body is definitely craving melons and berries this month and they are soft enough that I"m not getting stuck on them. But a POUND??? I can eat a WHOLE watermelon??? Come to mama!!!! I slept very well last night. I feel really good today. Still very tired but I know that is because my body has not gotten its meds lately. I have a much better outlook today though. For that I'm thankful. I feel stronger. Okay....gotta run. Have a great day ladies. Love you!

Hi ladies. I had a nice evening at the inlaws. It was nice to be out at the farm. I love it out there. today's stuff....went to see a local lawyer. He just rolled his eyes at me and called a colleague. She gave me the name of two lawyers with her firm to get in touch with because this isn't her specialty. I called and left voicemail for one. Hopefully he will get back to me tomorrow. If not, I will call the other one in the afternoon. I felt better when the lady in Helena thought it was crazy too. gives me hope. I cut out a bazillion (and yes that is a real number) of 5 inch cotton squares for my bandits to sell. We are selling them for $5 apiece and then you can personally decorate the square. Then Karla will put them together in a cape for us to wear at our opening and closing ceremonies and decorate our tents. I bought a bunch of different pink materials and then for $10 you can also buy a white one which will stand out so much better. I'm so excited. I will be mailing out squares tomorrow hopefully. I have 4 to do myself tomorrow for women in my life who have either fought and lost, or fought and won. I'm going to really enjoy decorating those squares. It makes me feel good to be doing something positive after all the negative this week. Okay...it's been a long day and I'm going to call it a night. Have a good day tomorrow ladies. I'm sure I'll be around here and there. I was way too gone for way too long. Love you guys!

Karla, thanks for the kind words. I am going to get my renewal done today if possible so that I don't have to worry about the other until next time. Right now I haven't been convicted of squat! Since I'm up for renewal, I'm going to get that done now. I hope Candice thinks about getting some fabric over there. What a wonderful idea for a quilt. Fabric that you found there and a pattern that you found there....I LOVE it. Wish I was craftier, what wonderful memories it would conjure everytime you looked at it. Still haven't gotten anything accomplished but am enjoying the day....a bit. Talk to you later.

Hi ladies. I hope you are all having a terrific Wednesday! My enter key is stuck so this is going to be one big long rambling paragraph. Sorry! Happy birthday Karri! I hope you have an amazing day. Will keep you in my thoughts today, sending good vibes! Thank you ladies for your kind words. I'm looking for a lawyer to advise me. I got a letter from the county DHHS agent and she wants to do a home visit. Oh yeah! I won't go into the horror that causes in my heart. Oh well...this too shall pass. I am strong enough to handle this. There are a few things more important to deal with in the immediate future. This is just like an annoying mosquito irritating me. I just want it all to go away. Stupidity is stupidity though and if you're going to do something dumb, then you have to be ready for the consequences. I can justify my actions, if they were wrong I will take the consequences. I am big enough to deal! I have just gotten Jaimi out of her pjs and nick is still in his. I'm feeling very lazy today. I guess all the running has caught up with me. I don't have time to be this lazy but it's feeling very very good. We are going out to the farm tonight so I don't even have to cook dinner! Just help MIL. How sweet is THAT! I suppose I should get in the shower and get my life moving today. I do have a million things to do. Probably 10 loads of laundry, my kitchen is a pit, the kids' bedrooms need a good mucking out, backyard needs poop patroled, and the list goes on and on. Maybe the reason I'm not feeling very motivated is because the list goes on and on. Pretty overwhelming. Got some sad news yesterday. A man I graduated with...went to school with for 6 years....was killed on his motorcycle when a minivan pulled out in front of him. He was wearing a helmet, was sober, and was not speeding. He should have been able to walk away with injuries, not be killed. He did everything right. The saddest part of this is that his twin brother was riding behind him on his own motorcycle. So very very sad. I can't imagine watching that or ever getting over that sight. The Beckert brother were amazing people and I'm very heart sick over this loss. We are riding in the 4th of July parade and then leading a big ride on the 5th. I will be riding in his honor but very sad to do so. I would never ride in Helena. The drivers are much too stupid. I hate driving out there. I will be extra careful on my bike. It really gives you pause. So on that sad note, I am out of news. I'll be sending all my good vibes to Karri for her birthday....how are you remaking birthday cake???? Love you ladies. Know that you are all super important to me. Have a great day!

Okay ladies. I'm going to share with you my horror of the 25th. It's a long story so please bear with me. The 25th was Nick's 5th birthday and I planned on spending the day just the two of us having a really good time at a variety of places in my hometown. We first went to lunch at Ronald McDonalds because there is no better place on earth for a 5 year old! Then we went to the hometown park with the coolest playground every. He played there for an hour or two. Had a great time. Then we went to the Exploration Center. He built a dam, played with an earthquake table, wall sized geo-board....it was AWESOME! Then we went to the carosel where he rode 4 different animals. For his last ride my brother and SIL brought Jaimison down. We were all going to meet up for an estate auction. However, my mom didn't feed Jaimison before she left because of her tendancy to get car sick. Poor kiddo didn't feel really great AND was hungry. So I went to the grocery store and picked up some bottled Water for them. Then, Nick was begging for more McD's and since Jaimi hadn't eaten I figured what the heck. So I drive over to the auction. It's on a fairly busy street. I pulled up across from the house and sit there for a few minutes trying to figure out my best plan of action with the kids. They need to eat, they need some quiet time (nick from all the comotion of the day and Jai from riding in the car), and it's rush hour. I figure I'll give them their food and let them eat in the car while I scope out auction area for safety and such. I decided that the place I parked was not the best place because if there was an issue, Nick would have to cross the traffic to get to me. So I drive around the block and park on the same side of street two houses down. Next I have to figure out how to best leave them in the car. Jai is in her carseat so she can't get out. Nick usually sits quietly so I'm not overly worried. I rolled down all the windows and Nick complains that the sun is in his eyes. I roll his up and Jai wants hers up too. Now I only have the front windows open and I'm worried that there won't be enough air. It's only 78 degrees but we all know how hot cars can get. I don't want to leave the car running because something freak could happen and Nick could put it in drive...even though that possibility is super slim. So I decide to turn off the engine but leave the keys "on" so that the blower will keep the air moving. In order for Nick to do something freak he would have to push the brake, turn the key off, turn the key back on and THEN put it in gear. I feel very confident that is not a possibility. I sit in the car and explain to Nick where he will find me. There were flags waving and an arrow. I'm only 2 houses away in the yard. So I go check in, decide that they can come out of the car when they finish their meal...the yard if fenced. In about 10 minutes I go back to check on them to make sure they are alright. The car in front of me has moved and it is shady ahead so I move the car forward so it's only next door to where I am. Kids are still eating. Jai has finished her water and I get her more, I make sure she is securely buckled and go back to the auction. I walk back to check on them in about 10-15 minutes. Pretty sure they will be finished with their food...or as finished as they are going to get. Not sure exactly how long but not long. Standing there are two police women. And now my hell starts. The ladies ask me if this is my vehicle...yes. Are these my children...yes. Did I know I left the keys in the ignition and my windows rolled down....yes. The neighbor had called the police because someone could have come and stolen my car with the kids in it. Are you kidding me? I'm not in the big city. The number of stranger car thefts in Helena is MAYBE one a week. That's probably pushing it. I wasn't parked in a bad neighborhood. Across from the golf course. Not a pedestrian high traffic spot. Who in the hell would be walking by looking for a car to steal there? No ONE! I explain that the possiblity of someone stealing my car was not one of my thoughts when I left the kids. They didn't want to hear what I had to say. They wanted to see me cry. The one lady wasn't very nice. I explained to the one that I was sorry. I didn't think about car theft. That I thought I was leaving the kids in the safest place for them considering the circumstances. She didn't want to listen. So....I got a ticket for endangering the welfare of minors. I had to go to court. What a horrible experience. The judge was so nice, he handed me a box of kleenex, told me to take a deep breath, told me to plead not guilty and find a lawyer. He said no one was going to call me horrible names and we would take care of it. He said he couldn't listen to my story...but that between the lawyer and city attorney it would get figured out. The clerk was so nice. Told me what to do next. It was so horrible but nice also. Good to know that the justice system isn't HORRIBLE. I had nightmares the night before of them taking my kids away. Anyways....now I need to find a lawyer in Helena....while I'm 500 miles away. I didn't want to plead guilty because I didn't know how that would effect my teaching license. Yes I left them. I did not, and still do not, think I was putting them in danger. I did it and will plead guilty if that is what my lawyer tells me to do. So that was my son's 5th birthday. It was an amazing day that ended in heartbreak. Please know how much I love my children. How I would NEVER leave them where I thought they were in danger....not for a minute. I hope you all know me that well. Stupidity is involved...but not cruelty. So that is why the 26th-29th I didn't feel a great urge to get online. I'm embarrassed sharing it with you all. It sounds so stupid of me. I know that many of you will think I was beyond stupid. Honestly, I did think it was the best thing for the kids. Anyways...that's my story.