Twilight

Hi ladies. I know it has been forever and reading here you may not get this since you are on a private FB page instead of here. I just thought I would let you all know what has been going on. Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers and phone calls when I was going through my hell. It was wonderful to hear from you and I want you to know how much I love all of you...even when I'm not here I'm thinking of you. So, if you remember a couple years ago I was having problems getting stuck all the time and my PA took out all my Fluid, let me sit for a couple weeks, then did an upper GI and then a scope. I was told then that everything was fine and it was just stress that was causing all my trouble. I took that as the truth and didn't look any further. God knows how stressful my life has been with Michael the last couple of years. Add that to all my everyday stress and it made sense. I just tried to adjust to only being able to eat mushies and get by. Since there was nothing to take out of my band, my only other option was removal and I didn't want that. So, in the last few months Jeff and I have been talking more and more about having a revision. We had put money aside for it and was planning on going to Mexico around the end of August. It had gotten to the point that anything more than Protein shakes were coming back up. I was doing alright losing weight again, hoping that would loosen things up also. I was still frustrated and counting days until I had more than 3 days in a row so I could plan my Mexico "vacation." Right before my trip to Oregon Jeff and I had decided that as soon as I got back, it was time to go...even if I had to cancel kettle corn days...it was too frustrating. After a really nasty migraine and the extreme vomitting that came with getting rid of it, I could no longer get anything down. I decided that it was swelling because of the migraine and needed to let it rest. After 3 days with no lessening I went to the ER in Lincoln City. There they did another barium swallow and nothing went through. He had me raise my arms, turn sideways, jump, twist, everything but stand on my head and there was nothing going through. So the ER doc called my surgeon in ND. All I wanted was hydrated enough to get home to go see him. The docs talked and didn't want me flying so had to find a surgeon in Oregon. They sent me to a hospital in Portland. The doc that was waiting to see me there said she would try to unfill me and see if that would help. Then I told her I had been unfilled for 2 years and she looked at me like I was nuts. She said she didn't understand that the ER wanted her to take it out and that she had no bariatric experience but would "try" if I wanted her to or she would call a different hospital and try to find me a bariatric surgeon. Finally by about midnight I was admitted to a hospital to be seen in the morning by a bariatric surgeon. Finally, blissful sleep after 4L of IV fluid. So this great looking guy comes in the morning to talk to me about my band and we discuss all the problems and my barium swallow and his discussion with my ND surgeon, ya da ya da ya da....and he says I can have surgery the next day probably. In the mean time his PA will see if they can get even a LITTLE bit of fluid out of my band so that the barium will pass and they won't have to go down and suck it out. Again, I explain that it is empty and he says they are hoping that there is a little left just enough to eek the barium through. So the PA comes back and he pulls out 1.2 cc's. I will tell you now that I went through the roof. How can you "lose" 1.2 cc's in a band? How can you pull everything out and still leave that much in? How can you tell me that my restriction is all in my head and still have 1.2cc's in there? How can the surgeon do a scope and see NOTHING wrong and still have 1.2 cc's in there? Had I known that there was fluid still in my band I would have been back there begging for it to be removed. I have been eating mushies for 2 years because I didn't think there was any other option! Yes, my blood still boils when I think about it. So, PA comes back and says "Great news!" The partner doc is doing surgery at her surgery center downtown and has a slot that she can fit me in. I won't have to pay the hospital fees and it will save me close to 5k. On top of that it can be that day instead of the next. So off I go to the surgery center. The doc there was so nice. I have to admit that I had been on so many meds at this point that I don't really remember much about her besides how nice she was. And her surgery center was awesome. Her nurses were great. Everyone was amazing. She really wanted me to reconsider letting her reposition my band. She was pretty sure she would be able to put it back in place. All I wanted was it GONE! Sorry ladies, but after the 2 years of hell, it had to come out! She did say that most people who reposition will maintain their weight but not lose any more. I didn't want to do the fill, unfill, fight, struggle anymore. I couldn't do it. So I opted to remove it. Surgery went fine. Jeff talked to her afterward and she said that she was pretty sure from what she saw that I had been slipped for those 2 years. She said that removing the 1.2 cc's didn't help the slip at all. She didn't want to speculate about having the 1.2 removed earlier and if it would have helped. I think she didn't want to say anything to get the other surgeon/PA in trouble. So, now I'm without band. I still get stuck. Funny thing. I guess, from what I understand, that the pouch shape is still possibly there. That I may get stuck forever or it might go back. I don't know. I know the worst pain was from where my port was removed. That is the biggest possible complication site. I guess there is a greater chance of hernia there from now on. So, I'm still on mushies but working my way back to solids. I'm dying to have a chicken breast or some steak, or some raw veggies! Life will be good when I can eat that sort of stuff again. I don't know about the sleeve. I have talked to Jeff about it and it is still an option. I am going to work very hard at eating like a bandster and trying to keep my weight down without. I am back in my size 12s. I would still like to get down another 10 pounds. If I stay here though, I'm happy. My double chin is gone again. My energy is back up. My depression is back under control. For now, life is good. So, that is my saga. Dec. '07 - July '11....I loved my band while it worked. Hated it when it failed. It did what it was supposed to do. I cannot fault the band. I fault my docs. They will not get any more of my time or money. I take some of the fault for the failure because I should have pushed them harder to find out what the problem was in '09. I should have forced someone to dig deeper. I shouldn't have blamed myself. And forever I will understand how much 1.2 cc's really is! Again, love you ladies. I hope you all are doing well. Janet, thank you for the wonderful phone call while I was recouping. It meant so much to me. Candice, I will make the trip next summer, I promise. Phyl, sorry I missed you in SD. Would have been great to see you and Earl again! Love and hugs and best wishes on your band and journey.

Hi ladies. Just a quick check in. I read every night but not much to report. Last week was craziness. My evenings are so full anymore. Here's last weeks evening events: Monday zumba, Tuesday car club meeting, Wednesday motorcycle club meeting, Thursday I did zumba and Jeff did snowmobile club, Friday Nick had therapy and then evening bump n run meeting, Saturday was supposed to go snowmobiling but that was a disaster. Jeff went without me. Sunday church and then farm. CRAZINESS! This week is a little less nuts. Last night I stayed home. Jeff went to the farm. His dad had a biopsy today and they had to leave at 4am. He has some cancer spots on his liver. We are holding off on worry until we get some answers. Tonight I have zumba. I don't think we have anything Wed. night. Thursday I have zumba. I'm pretty sure that is the end of it. Jeff actually asked if I wanted to go out to dinner last night and all I wanted was a night at home We are planning a big motor sports weekend up here and trying to get all the clubs to work together. That just means that I/Jeff need to keep all the other clubs informed. It will all work out, but a lot of work right now. It will settle down in March and April and then May will get crazy with it again. Talked to Mom yesterday and she wants me to come down to TX when she's done and drive home with her. I need to figure out how long I can be gone. I'm thinking it might be a 10 day trip. I'll take Jaimi with me. She sure sounds like she is having a great time on the beach. I wish it was me Yesterday I did indulge in chocolate. Today I'm back to normal and not craving it. I'll be alright. I'm zumbaing tonight so hopefully the scale won't show the cave. Scope....I sure hope you guys get better answers than I did. All they told me was "There's nothing wrong." Uh...no...there's something wrong....you just can't figure it out. There are so many days that I agree with Karri, I just want this band out! Dinner is always the time when I'm most frustrated. I make a good dinner and think I can finally eat some and 5 mins later it's back. So frustrating. Someday this is all going to be alright. We'll get something taken care of . Now I can live with it. Just not enjoy it. I know I can't do it without anything so that's why I'm holding strong. Okay...for a driveby this is really long. I gotta run. Love you ladies.

Karla, remember to use our OPI resources. If you are looking for studies and lit to review Jean and David are amazing. And remember....Maurice ROCKS. Use your resources.

Okay ladies. I don't have time to post more until later but the doc told me: fibrocystic breast disease. I'll look it up later but it doesn't sound so horrible. Maybe. I'll have to do a lot of research. Gotta run, just wanted to let you know what the doc said.

Hi ladies. Nick woke up with a horrid headache so I kept him home. Poor little guy. He has a doc appt. at 345 anyways for a med check so I will have doc see if maybe he has a sinus infection. He can hardly breath and it's icky green. I've always thought he had nose issues anyways so maybe this is the time when it can be checked. While I am there I will ask him about my chest. I really do think my doc is a good doc he just sometimes makes me feel like I'm worrying about nothing. I know that if it's nothing, it's no big deal but that doesn't mean I'm not going to continue to worry. He is highly respected across the state as being very thorough. I shouldn't be so harsh about him. He's good, his bedside manner just sucks. I will ask him. As for going somewhere else, I think there might be an OB/GYN taking clients in Sidney which is 100 miles away. Williston stopped taking new patients. If not in Sidney it would be Glasgow which is 150 miles. It just isn't a hop and a jump. I actually was thinking that I'd email my uncle who was an OB for years and see what he says. He's in WA so it isn't like he could see me, but he could at least tell me if it is normal. Okay...onto other matters. Phyl, I so understand your frustration with Earl and his smoking. Rose is the same way with me. She will tell me she quit and then sneak around. Drives me crazy. Not that she is still smoking but 1. that she lied, 2. that she thinks she NEEDS to lie to me, and 3. that she acts so infantile. She is a grown/independent woman. If she wants to smoke then do it, but don't act like a child sneaking and lying to me. Have at least enough respect for yourself to say, "I want to smoke and I know the risks and therefore, it's my decision." I also completely understand that it isn't worth staying upset over. Phyl, I also remember how mom would go through the same sort of panic over incedental things after dad died. It was so hard to watch. Thankfully dad had most things in order but mom would go right into a panic when she had to find a tool or do something that dad always took care of. Your friend has so much more on her plate. Poor lady. She is really going to need your support. If she is that active in her Red Hat world, aren't there other hatters that can support her down there? Hopefully she can sell her home up in WA quickly so that she can take that load off. You're such a good friend to run right over there. Bless your heart! Candice and Karla, your UFO dedication is amazing. I'm so excited for you. I wish I could do the same thing. Oh well...I could but I don't. My problem. Karri, you've been quiet. What's up? How are you feeling? Has that flu taken a ride? I hope you enjoyed your snow days. I was going to ask you about your body bugg. Are you using it anymore? When you have a chance, let's talk about it. I'm curious. Oh....my weekly weigh in. I told Jeff that he was going to have to carry the team this week. He called this morning and said he dropped us. He gained 2. I don't think he truly gained 2 but with the Super Bowl yesterday and strange intakes the last couple of days, he probably took in a lot more salt then normal. I told him we would really focus this week and get back on track. I'm going to make meat loaf tonight. Portions are going to have to be key I think. Especially for him. For me, I think it's liquids again for a few days. I'm still getting stuck and I really have to give my stomach that rest. I just so badly want to chew! Dumb! Focus focus focus! I am starting Zumba tonight with a group. Then on Thursdays we are starting a different group at our church. So twice a week I will be doing that out of the house and the rest of the days I should be doing something here in the house. I hope I don't break a leg trying to move my hips like that I think it could be entirely possible. We will see. Alright ladies. There was more, but, as usual, I forget. Love you. Talk to you later.

Okay ladies. Just one quick comment on that "other stuff". A lot of what you guys were talking about was the down below problems. My big problem right now is my chest. The down below stuff works just fine for now. It's the can't remove my bra without tears that is driving me crazy. Phyl you mentioned endometriosis....that's only a down below problem isn't it? I'm going to take the advice of going to see my PCP. I just hate doing that because he's a he and he always makes me feel stupid with girl problems. I'm going to call tomorrow to see when my last annual exam was. I'm pretty sure I'm due because Jai just had birthday and I think I've timed it that way...I just can't remember. Do you think I should wait to do it until after TOM comes to see me or before when I'm still hurting? If it doesn't hurt then maybe he won't be able to figure it out, but if they do he won't be able to touch me to figure anything out. AHHHHH! I hate this!!! Okay. For now, that is all. There is stuff I want to say about your friend, Phyl as well as the smoking stuff. I just don't want to go into this right now because I'm in the middle of a movie with Jeff. So....I'll do that tomorrow. Night ladies. Love you!!

Candice, thanks for you advice. I'm 39 and really don't think I'm ready to go through all this crap but then again, will I ever be? Oh well. If the flashes and sweats are worse than this pain I could lose my mind. I can hardly hold Jaimi anymore because of her elbows. As for the TMI issue, you didn't gross me out, but I also know that Jeff will not even consider it. He's funny that way Love him, but some things that gross him out are so weird. I keep telling him that THAT is when it would be the best but he won't hear of it. Oh well. There's more than one way to skin a cat...LOL I'm with you though, I hope no one else reads this thread I had a good enough dinner. Stuck on it though. I guess it's time to go back to liquids for a few days. Let everything settle again. I did break and lunch liquids hoping that would be enough but no go. I'd better run for now. I need to make the tortilla roll ups for tomorrow's game. I'm glad they will be there and not here because I have a feeling I could eat a whole plate. Later ladies. Have a great evening.

Another good question....where did the last 3 days of posts go?

Hi ladies. Glad to see that the site is back. Stepped on the scale this morning. Doesn't look like I'm going to be losing this week. Not gaining, but not losing either. I guess I've earned it though. I haven't been nearly as diligent as I was the last month. If I lost while being negligent then I wouldn't learn, right? There are some other reasons..... Now ladies, I need some helpful advice. The last 3 months or so the weeks before my period have become almost unbearable. First are the horrific cramps when I'm ovulating. They double me over and make me miserable for about 2 days. Then they are gone and the truly unbearable starts. My chest gets absolutely horribly painful. It has been getting worse the last few months. It's gotten so bad now that I only take my bra off to shower and that is getting iffy. That lasts for about 2 weeks. So, it's 2 weeks of pain, 1 week of TOM, and then I can have about a week where my body doesn't feel like it's trying to kill me. In my reading online, I guess this is completely normal in the years leading up to menopause. While I am not sure how I feel about THAT, I am positive that I can't take this getting worse for YEARS. The only real advice is anti-inflammatory and wearing your bra. The only thing this pain seems to be a symptom of is menopause. I did start worrying that it was something more horrible, but I guess not. Have any of you gone through this? Is it really going to be years before this stops? Is there anything else I can do. The last thing I need to do is irritate my band by taking anti-inflammatories. God knows, it's irritated enough most of the time. Any advice would be helpful. On another not-so-positive note, Nick seems to be sick now. Jaimi last weekend, now Nick. He seems to have it worse than Jaimi did. He started with a cough/sniff/phlem yesterday then last night about midnight when I checked on he had a fever. About 103 and he was complaining that his head hurt. Tylenol last night and he came up about 4am saying his stomach hurt too. This morning, fever, chills, headache, his body hurts and stomach pains. He looks horrible. No food for him today. Poor kiddo. I feel so bad for him. He is so miserable. I need to fix things for Jeff's superbowl party tomorrow. I think I'm going to make some popcorn that was in the Eat what you Love cookbook. It sounds really good. We will see. Other than that, I'm going to take some sliced ham, spread some cream cheese on it, and then wrap them around pickles. Really yummy. They are so good. I will try to control myself while making them and hope that he doesn't bring any home. I will have to have serious control. I'll let you know about the popcorn. If it's yummy I will post the recipe. I'll talk to you guys later. Have a great Saturday, ladies!!!

I have a tube around here somewhere. I will look for it and get you the name. I'm not sure about the shot but I can find that info too. It will just have to be tomorrow. After the shot and a week of cream life is usually much better.

When I break out with my sun rash they give me a rash cream and also some sort of allergy shot to bring down the rash. The shot is a once a season thing. I don't know if they can do the same with your skin but since it's a rash, it might be a thought.

Drive by. Just thought I would whine here. -30 before the wind chill! Not cool! Freaking COLD!!!!

Maybe he figured it out! Email him back!!! You already know he's a dog guy. And a education guy. A funny guy. Dang!!! Take it slow, but see if it goes somewhere!

Okay, ladies. Nothing much to share I guess. But I said I would be back and so I am. We went to eat. Jeff had a steak. I had walleye. Steak is one of the foods I really really miss. Oh well. Get over it, right? Thanks for the congrats on the weight loss. Jeff is down 23 pounds. That is so amazing. I'm so proud of him. I told him that if he continues at this pace he will be under 300 before the end. He couldn't really believe it but was excited to hear it. If I continue I will be down almost to 140. Next week I should be back under "obese". I sure hope so. I didn't think I'd ever go back there, but oh well. Not looking back, just ahead. Karla, I am so there with you and your mom feelings. The year after my dad died I thought I would choke my mom if she told me one more time how amazing their marriage was. I finally got tired of hearing it and told her how I saw it every time she got that way. I actually think (maybe I'm being a little too proud about this) that it helped her come to grips. If nothing else, she doesn't try to paint their life together as a dream to me anymore. She has her feet on the ground where dad is concerned. Still misses him but is a lot more honest about the relationship. What I'm saying is I wouldn't hold my tongue. I'm not talking cruel, but keeping her honest isn't a bad thing. Good luck. I know how hard it is. I'll be thinking of you. Phyl, what did Earl say when you pointed out his behavior. Still doesn't think there is an issue? I'm sure. From here I have to admit I chuckled. Sounded like one of my tantrums when I wasn't on meds. He sounded so positive about his water time though. Maybe he worked it all out. I really do believe that men have a TOM too. They just don't have the pads to go along with it. Who was talking about meatloaf? I don't remember, but I know I absolutely love it! One thing to make it healthier is oatmeal instead of bread crumbs. More whole grain/fiber that way. I ordered some ground turkey just to add to my meat repertoire. I figure if I add it to ground beef and it will make less notice in my world. I knew that it wasn't all that better than extra lean ground beef but thought it might be something different. We will see. Karri, I'm sorry you found my 10 pounds. I really thought I had flushed them down the toilet. Must be one of those butterfly wing chaos theory things....or maybe that dumb Newton law about mass not being created or destroyed. Dumb law Okay. I'm off. Mommy/Jaimi day tomorrow. I'll talk to you later. Love you ladies. Have a great night.

Hello ladies. I will be back later tonight or in the morning but I have a ton to do right now. Just thought I would post here, in case you missed it on FaceBook. I have lost 10 pounds this month!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know Jeff's total right now but I think it's 25ish. I'll know when he gets home. It's time to happy dance. We are going out to dinner for fish and salad to celebrate. Later taters! wooohoooo!!!

Good afternoon ladies. Had an early busy morning with the kiddos and then off to church. Jaimi was up with her fever again at 3:30. Of course this morning she is acting as if she isn't sick at all. I just wish she would get better. I'm supposed to sub tomorrow and can't call in sick tomorrow too since I did on Friday. Jeff will be in Williston with his dad for a doc appt so I really don't have any other option. Lord, please help me here! I got my cook books that I ordered during QVC's cooking day. One is called "eat what you love" which takes normally really bad for you food and makes them good for you. There were probably 30 recipes in there that I wanted to start today. They sound so awesome. There are some great recipes that I can put in my new vitamix when it gets here. Janet, there was a one pot wonder in there that made me think of you. I might post the recipe but you've probably already been there, done that. The other was a set of 2 from Taste of Home. Comfort food made lighter or something like that. Again, really awesome recipes. I'm not one who can just throw things together. I have got to have a recipe to follow or I'm not making it. My goal is to find about 20 recipes that Jeff and I really like (and hopefully the kids will eat too) so that we can have healthy food every night and it turns into life instead of diet. Karri, how are the liquids going? I know how hard it is. I can definitely relate. That's one of the reasons I ordered the vitamix...so I could switch up my liquids a little more. Tell me what we can do to help you encourage you. It's -5 here today. Candice, are the temps you're telling us F or C? It's snowy blowy here today but I don't think there are any real flakes coming down. Time to run. Watching CSI miami for awhile and then it's time to do another Wii Active workout. Talk to you later ladies. Have an awesome day!

Morning ladies. I thought I'd better get this posted before it isn't morning anymore. Jaimi is still running a fever and coughing. She was up about 4 and 5 and 6. After that I told Jeff it was his turn. I slept until 9 and then the kids came begging for breakfast. Jeff said, "What do you want, I'll make it." And they both said, "No, we want mom to." Well all they wanted was toast, Nick's with peanutbutter on it, so I don't know why they wouldn't let Jeff do it, but whatever. He tried. Then we snuggled for awhile while Jeff went to the shop to get some work done. Now it's time to get some errands ran and then Jaimi wants to do a craft project that she got for her birthday. Nick is a little bent out of shape that the therapist said we need to take him back down to "Disney level" on everything. No Mario, Pokemon, or Lego Warriors on his games....heck it's not like he was playing Call of Duty, but she wants it all to be light and fun without any kind of battles. So, he's playing Disney friends now. I hope we can get outside and play in the snow today. He always fights me to get out there, but always loves it once we do. Last night we brought out the Wii Outdoor Adventure game and Nick and I were doing a teamwork game or five. It was tough. We had to do everything in perfect timing. It was so much fun. After the kids went to bed I got Jeff up to play it with me, but he wasn't nearly as impressed. The two of us just don't fit on the mat very well Nick had me huffing and puffing and sweating though. So maybe we will pull that out when Jai goes down for her nap. Jeff wanted to go out for dinner tonight and I wanted to go to the HS basketball games, but with Jaimi still running a fever, that is a no go. Jeff's nephew is playing so I'll probably kick him out of the house so he can go watch. Phyl, your birthday party story was so funny!!! At least you weren't the couple that the others were having dinner with and you went to the wrong place It sounds like you had an amazing night and celebrated perfectly. Did you find a new RV at the show? How did Zoey take your trip? Janet, I hope you have an amazing wonderful fun birthday! I know you have saved calories so you can have your cake and eat it too! I also know you will have great stories to share with us tomorrow about how much fun you had. I hope you toast yourself at least once for the 7's! Love you!

Hi ladies. I hope you all had and are having a good day. Yesterday was a not so busy day with Jaimi. We had an afternoon playdate and then I had a ladies night of "crafting." Though I didn't do any project, just went for the company. Had a great time. Food yesterday.....hmmm. Why do I have such a hard time remembering from day to day? SF/FF latte, 2 protein shakes, 1/4 c wild/brown rice, a couple turkey swiss roll-ups that came back. I did manage to get 60 oz of water in. This morning Jaimi woke me up with a fever and a sore throat. When I finally got her to take some tylenol she went back to sleep for a couple of hours. The poor thing just sobbed that her throat hurt so bad. When I looked in her throat her tonsils are ginormous yet again. So, we went back to the doc this morning but the quick test came back not strep. They are sending it to culture for a couple of days because the quick test isn't always accurate I guess. For now it's just rest and tylenol. Poor little darling. Jeff took Nick to therapy today. He really is having some behavior problems. The doc thinks its because of Michael leaving so we will see. I was going to take him but Jeff preferred to take him over staying home with the dear little sick one. Imagine that. Hopefully we'll have some good news when he gets home. Karla, we will never be free of our addiction. You know that, but it's so easy to fall back. Same way that mentally ill people think they have control after being on their meds for awhile, or drug addicts think they can just take one hit. Why are we our own worst enemies? It's crazy. At crafting last night we were talking about a book called "Made to Crave." I thought of you while we were talking about it. It has to do with food addiction and that what we are really needing is a fulfilling relationship with God. You might try checking it out. It might make you feel better about the faith conversation we were having at the beginning of the week. After I finish my current book I'm going to download it. I also thought of you as on of my other friends there was telling about her problems similar to your female parts. She was so funny about it. She said when they did her last surgery they left a couple of staples in and so instead of having an inviting woman part (her words) she has a "snapping turtle." She is going to Denver in a couple of weeks for surgery and will have to spend 8 weeks on complete bed rest. She was so funny. Reminded me of you. Janet, you always have just the right thing to say. Love you! Have fun with the kiddos. I'm sure in a couple of days you will be ready for them to leave...you love your private world. But, enjoy it while it's here. As much pain we have all seen the last few months with loved ones being diagnosed with cancer, or car accidents, or all the other nutso things happening, we need to make that extra effort to enjoy the time we do have with each other. Candice, you are just becoming a musical sensation up there, aren't you? How much fun is that? Retirement has been so good for you. I love that. Karri, welcome back. I know how hard that first post is. It took a lot of strength to make it. Obviously I know because it took me a LONG time to find the courage to do it myself. However, this is our family and we all understand how horrible you must be feeling about your band. I don't think any of us can imagine the fear. I know it is a hard decision. Heck, I've been putting it off for well over a year. I am sure that I need to revise. I know that I need to be able to eat real solid protein and that I will never be healthy without it. But....it's so scary and frustrating and if you're anything like me you spend time thinking "I messed this up, why won't I mess that up." That's just our own little devil talking to us and trying to win the only way it knows how. We talked last night so I know you know my thoughts. I agree with Janet. I wouldn't go anywhere but to Wasa's doc for a revision. We do understand the fight and you are in the exact right place. We love you. We've missed you. Welcome back. I hope you will feel good about posting through your struggles here. No tough love from me. Just unconditional love and support. Hugs my friend. Welcome home! Okay...now off to find something soft for Jaimi to eat. Have a beautiful day ladies. When does Phyl get back? I really need to get some help for my memory. It sucks. My forgetter just keeps getting better though.

Good evening ladies. Definitely a long day. I am really excited about the 169. In our BCBS challenge, Jeff and I have lost 4.3% We are in 30th place out of more than 2000. Granted a bunch haven't continued but I'm pretty stoked. Jeff lost 7 pounds this week! He's about crowing. I'm so proud of him. He says his knees feel so much better and I don't notice him limping any more. He's at a total of 16 pounds in 3 weeks. How awesome is that? I told him that another 10 pounds and he is going to start exercising with me. He won't have any excuses. He asked if he could have a piece of banana bread tonight and I told him yes, if he worked out for 30 minutes. He said, " I'd be more inclined to give up the banana bread." LOL Karla, you really should take the doctors orders to heart. 3 days. Call the masters people and tell them. What would they do if you were in a car wreck? Fell down a flight of stairs? They would postpone and deal. Well, the doc says 3 days bed rest...that's 3 days bed rest. Sit your butt down in bed, pick up your hand stitching and just let it be! Stop being so independent and stubborn. Sometimes something has to give. Also, I agree that the minister that told you that should be flogged. That is the way some faiths believe but that doesn't mean they are right. Do you honestly believe you are damned to hell? If yes, well then I guess, but I don't believe that and that, for me means, you need to find the truth in your spiritual life. Find a church that believes in salvation and grace and forgiveness. You deserve all three. Okay...now stepping off. Candice, I am so sorry about your friend. Breast cancer sucks! It is cruel and indescribably ugly. I don't think it's right that men don't have as horrible a cancer. Can you imagine this world with the same number of men losing their penises as women losing their breasts? Don't get me wrong, I'm not wishing that pain or devastation on anyone....I'm just saying it's wrong that so many women have to go through such horror. I hope that all women in my life give themselves a breast exam every month. And now with the virtual mammography there is no reason not to get it done. Everyone should. I will continue to fight for women and against this ugliness. I love my sisters too completely. Janet and Phyl, I am so jealous. It sounds like an amazing evening. Poor little Zoey. She has the softest feelings. We have a shitzhu like that. You scold one of the other dogs and he goes slinking off like he's been beat. I know how sad that is. I'm glad she had fun in the pool. That is so darned cute. I have no idea if mine like the water. We've never tried it. We might have to this summer. Okay...I'm off. Talk to you ladies later. Hugs and kisses all!

Off to sub. Just thought I would pop in and say 169!!! Down 2 more! Wooot!!! Love it. Okay. Now I really have to get to work.

Hi ladies. Happy Sunday to you all. I should be out playing with the kids but instead I'm here on the computer. Imagine that. It's beautiful here today. about 30 degrees here. Supposed to be a storm coming in tonight but for now, awesome. There are a million things I need to get out and do. Oh well. Next. Had a great morning at church. I have to tell you guys, having a new church family and home has been a huge turning point. I love everyone at church and it just fills me with something I've been missing for so long. I've been able to look at life in a whole different way. Love it. Just wanted to pop in for a bit. I'll talk to you all tonight. Love you ladies. Oh...just ordered zumba for Jaimi and me to do. I think it will be a ton of fun for the two of us. Maybe I can talk Jeff into joining us too. We will see. Tomorrow is weigh in day. Hope all the sugar this week didn't kick my butt. Here's hoping. Jeff can't wait to weigh in. He's so into this change. So proud of him. Okay...running away.

Glad you checked in Candice. I was worried that maybe something had happened to your mom. Love you dear! And I worry.

Good morning ladies. What a beautiful day out there! it's 33 degrees. I sure hope it doesn't rain. I think Jai and I will go out and play in the snow after lunch. We'll see if we can find someone to come play with her. So many of her friends take naps after lunch. She sometimes does but she would be alright if she didn't. We will see. Tomorrow is Jaimi's birthday party so I have a lot of stuff to get done today. Lots of wrapping and organizing. I'm excited that I'm not having it here though. That way I don't have house to worry about too. And a friend is making the cake and doing facepainting! Yeah! My biggest concern is that only one little girl has RSVP'd. I hope that doesn't mean that only she will be there. I've planned for 8 but would prefer 4. I'm not so worried. It will all work out. Out of everything the biggest concern is having her bday cake around. i hope I can send most of it home with her friends. I know I don't have the willpower to resist it. If I have to I guess I will throw it away. Oh well...again, we will cross that bridge later. See you later ladies. Have a great day. Waiting for answers to Janet's questions....Karla? Phyl?

I watched idol for the first time last night. It was alright. I didn't watch tonight so I don't know what you were talking about Candice. I don't know if I liked it or not. I do think it will take some time before I like it. Not that I need another show to add to my watching list. Shouldn't have tried the steak. I would have sworn I chewed it enough but I guess I just don't know what it takes to not stick on solid meat. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day to start over. I am tired tonight. Early night I think.

I love my iPad. I wish I had more reading time because I definitely enjoy reading on it. I don't so much like typing on it for a whole long thing. A short status update is one thing, but something on here I think it would drive me nuts. I did try to do a message on FB to someone. It was quite lengthy and then I lost it. It was even more frustrating than losing one on my computer because it was a little more stressful to type it out. Not a huge deal, but definitely wouldn't want it to be my only puter. Candice, as soon as I get my one book read I will check out this other author. Do you have a favorite? Making Jeff steak tonight. Found a recipe in a ww cookbook that seasoned a steak with taco seasoning, grill, and then slice. They put it over cooked cherry tomatoes which Jeff will never eat so instead I am making him some brown/wild rice and broccoli. He will love it. I may try a bit of the steak. I'm not sure. I wouldn't want to be stuck. I also made some tofu butterscotch pudding for dessert. I'm not sure what the little ones are eating. Jai will eat rice and cottage cheese. I'm not sure what I'll get nick to eat. He's so frustrating sometimes. Michael just called in an amazing mood and asked me for help with his math. And he was writing down all the steps. And he was asking me questions about why. Must be a manic day. I guess since Sunday was a depressed day it's about right. Scott says he makes sure Michael is taking his meds but his moods are so outta control that I doubt he is really consistent about it. Also, he refilled last month around the 15th and I know that this month it is going to be about $400 for the month because we have to meet the deductible again. Scott doesn't have that kind of money this late in the month so I should have gotten a call from the pharmacy asking for payment. Oh well. It's out of my hands. I just have to sit back and watch. Scott will learn like I did. I hope he is honestly looking for a therapist but, again, it's not up to me. Waiting for Jeff to get home. Watching tv with the little ones. Have a good night ladies!