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bandpal

LAP-BAND Patients
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Everything posted by bandpal

  1. bandpal

    Lap Band Limericks

    A Bandster from Boyd, Oregon Had been feeling a little withdrawn. LBT's support group got him back in the loop, Now his spirit's as bright as the dawn.
  2. bandpal

    Lap Band Limericks

    A Jane from Elaine, Arkansas, Took a stand on the Band with her Paw, She said: "Listen here, Pop, every diet's a flop, When I lose weight, I gain even more!"
  3. bandpal

    Lap Band Limericks

    Serenity and Leigha - You guys are great - keep 'em coming!
  4. bandpal

    Lap Band Limericks

    On a blind date, a gal from Kentucky, Over dinner became a bit stucky; Not entranced with her beau, she just let it all flow, Thinking "mucky beats feeling unlucky".
  5. bandpal

    Lap Band Limericks

    A bandster from Vernon, Vermont Got backed up from a piece of croissant; In a tone of remorse, he said, "time to change course, I cannot eat whatever I want."
  6. bandpal

    Lap Band Limericks

    There was a young lady from Maine Who was having post op'rative pain; Her port would contort, Causing her to resort To Darvon, Ultram and Nubain
  7. bandpal

    Lap Band Limericks

    A young bandster from Mott, North Dakota Was of two minds about drinking soda: She longed for the fizz which in soft drinks there is, But her doctors all said it would bloat her.
  8. bandpal

    Lap Band Limericks

    A Bandster from Norton, New Hampshire Said: "The Band is the best - I am damn sure! Would I do it again? Even with all the pain, Here's my answer to each sir or ma'am: sure!"
  9. bandpal

    Lap Band Limericks

    Said a bandster from Bloxom,Virginia, "I can bend now to tend to my zinnia, Before banding, my garden Was worth disregardin' But just look at my phlox and gloxinia!"
  10. bandpal

    Lap Band Limericks

    I've heard tell of a portly New Yorker, Who lived many a year as a porker. After getting the Band, she is much in demand, Trailed by suave, stunning men who all stalk her.
  11. bandpal

    Lap Band Limericks

    A woman from northwest Wyoming Through her BCBS file was combing. She found, to her glee, LAP-BAND®'s own CPT, And relieved, took a stroll in the gloaming.
  12. bandpal

    Lap Band Limericks

    An obese biddy from Tenessee, Couldn't spy or espy either knee. After banding, our Bella Could grasp each patella: A stunningly sweet NSV.
  13. Lets share poems that have moved, touched and inspired us on our journey. Please feel free to comment on whatever comes up. Here's one that speaks to me: "Speech to the Young, Speech to the Progress-Toward." Say to them, say to the down-keepers, the sun-slappers, the self-soilers, the harmony-hushers, "Even if you are not ready for day it cannot always be night." You will be right. For that is the hard home-run. Live not for battles won. Live not for the-end-of-the-song. Live in the along. - Gwendolyn Brooks
  14. bandpal

    I know it's not easy but ...

    I too am moved by the honesty and emotions expressed here. Ladykcusa, you did it for me with that "66 year life-long battle with food". Early in my adolescence, I already knew that I was fighting that battle - and I was losing. I can remember myself at 14, sitting in the back of a bus, drugged with junk food, looking out despondently at the neon lights blurring by whispering "Food... Food... Food" and thinking: "Food spelled backwards is Doof... something called doof is ruining my life... and the biggest doof is me." The band is not a miracle worker, but it came along at the point when I was ready for it - I knew that I needed help, I knew that I was ready to try something new and to work for it. Every day of the last two years, three months and 12 days has been a gift. I'm going to be 50 in 2 days and I've already given myself the best present I ever could have hoped for, one I never dared to think I would ever achieve. People - for me, the stuff about "finding substitutes for food" doesn't cut it. Food monopolized my life, my thinking, my relationships. This legitimate need for nourishment turned into a monster that swallowed my life. Today, I don't want to find a substitute for food. For today, and - with grace - for tomorrow, I just want to live better, live more.
  15. bandpal

    My journey begins on Monday!!

    Welcome, Vixen! Thank you for that moving post. You do indeed sound ready. All your suffering and pain will turn into your greatest ally down the road. It will reinforce the decision you have made and deepen your gratification as you move from success to success. My children (I have four: when I was banded two years ago, they were 3,5,7 and 15) were a major incentive for me to take this step. Today, they hardly remember me as ever having been fat, although they occasionaly complain about me no longer having a belly for them to jump on! Good luck, and keep posting and reading threads here. There's lots of hope, strength and experience here. Good luck,and stay in touch!
  16. bandpal

    6 month diet

    Hi Jason, Welcome! Your journey has begun, stick with it and keep posting here. Many people here have had to jump through countless hoops in order to get banded, if the diet is the only thing your insurance is asking for, then I agree with Leigha: consider yourself fortunate. Check out my stats below and pictures on my profile, we weren't so far apart at the beginning - if I can do it, so can you! Good luck, and stay in touch!
  17. bandpal

    Banded 22 Feb 10

    Congratulations - you are on the way! "Patient and careful" is the ticket - as far as those mixed messages, what is your doctor telling you? Did you get a food plan? That should be your north star. Also - visit the Food and Nutrition Forum here http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f9/ and look at the stickies - some of the answers to your questions should be there. Good luck!
  18. bandpal

    3 month mark

    Cogratulations on your weight loss and on reaching this post-band milestone. Good luck with that fill, and I hope things work out with your job. Don't let Mom buy all the presents - buy yourself some presents, too. The most important gifts are the ones we give to ourselves, like the one you gave to yourself three months ago...
  19. bandpal

    New One

    That is fantastic news - full bore ahead, nothing can stop you now! Congratulations!
  20. bandpal

    Starting a new journey

    Good for you, and let me assure that your dreams are well within the realm of the possible! The band is a great tool, and the wisdom and experience and support you'll receive here will help you use it. One of my favorite quotes is, "Miracles sometimes occur, but one has to work terribly hard for them." If you do the work, your own miracle has already begun. Welcome!
  21. I'm so happy to have been able to help you out from so far away! Keep pushing out Z's and moving forward!
  22. bandpal

    Feeling lost with out food

    Your painful, honest insights will pay you back in gold, Birney, and your lifetime of bitter experience with food will be your best teacher and guide, because it will give you the wisdom and courage to perservere in post-band life. The band will be there helping you along - reducing your hunger, helping you make better food choices and change the habits you developed around eating. And we will be there for you also. Food is an indispensable necessity and a legitimate source of pleasure, but you are right: for many of us, it became a false God - offering us fullness and comfort but monopolizing and ruining our lives. This knowledge, that can only be accrued with years of suffering, will make it easier for you to step away from what you have been and help you move on into a life that will be better than you have dreamed it could be. Sounds a little dramatic, but I mean every word, because that is how it has been for me. I read your profile: You do sound ready to do this, and you can take your life back.
  23. Tell you what, it sure is. Not having to use that # % & ! - ing extender anymore is what the joy of flying is all about for me these days. I could just sit there buckling and unbuckling that seatbelt from takeoff to landing - what a rush - ummm, please don't let that get to the TSA, okay?. Like so many other of our problems (I'd say that one was number 2 on my list, right behind having to use my moveable showerhead for some sanitary purposes that are better left undetailed) they just go away - and good riddance! Give me a little restriction over a lot of extension any day!
  24. Thanks forthe picture comment, MissC - I feel great, and I see you've been making lots of progress, too - stay in touch!

  25. bandpal

    That was then...

    Thanks Cav - and congratulations to you too!

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