bandpal

Marilyn, here's hoping that the fill turns things around for you. I can certainly understand your frustration. Enjoy the holiday season in the Windy City, and keep in touch- us teachers have to stick together. Towens, let us know how the fill went today. Great that you chose to get it done now, even though it'll make Christmas dinner a little harder to get down. Merry Christmas! Tlwempen, that's a good insight you had about wanting meat only because you can't have it. That's right, remember: "Meat is Clay" (kind of even looks like it a bit, doesn't it?)! Look at it this way - you'll go through this Christmas as a vegetarian. Whenever I want something I can't have, another thought that comes to mind is that I spent one week on a liquid diet and came out of it just fine - so do I really need "this" or "that"? Merry Christmas! All the best,

Taking some Time... It’s a crisp, sunny Wednesday here, 68° and I am going to take a little personal time while at work and spend a few minutes with all of you. I’ve kept up with all the posts on this thread even though I haven’t written in a week. I hope everyone who hasn’t been writing is doing well. A Month Out I can’t believe that tomorrow (for many of you) and the day after tomorrow (for me) will mark one month since we were banded. This is the biggest change in my life in many years, no doubt about it. So much has changed that I can’t believe it’s only been a month, after years and years of basically hitting my head against the same wall. I truly feel that I have been given a new lease on life. Here are some of my NSVs: I eat much, much less than I did before the operation. I stay full for hours, rather than having a bottomless pit in my stomach. I no longer binge at nights, something I did every night for years. Consequently, I no longer spend my morning hours trying to function and put up a front while recovering from the physical and emotional devastation of the previous night’s binge. I have binged once during the day (more on this later) this month, rather than bingeing at least once every day for years. I no longer obsess about food all the time. My body feels like a whole lot of air has been let out of it. Any kind of movement– walking, bicycling, standing up, sitting down, scratching my back, tying my shoes, and performing various sanitary and hygienic functions – is accomplished much easier than just a month ago. I’m also no longer out of breath all the time and don’t sweat all the time. I no longer obsess about food all the time – in fact, most of the time, I’m oblivious to it. I Don’t Eat Clay I have to add here that I work in the reception center of our guest rooms, where we serve homemade cheesecake, apple pie, and chocolate chip cookies, ice cream, milkshakes, omlettes and grilled cheese sandwiches. I love my job, but it has been a nightmare trying, and consistently failing, to stay clear of all that’s available here. But for the last month, I have succeeded in doing so. The analogy that has come to my mind is that of a potter, who works day in and day out with clay, but never thinks of putting any of it in his mouth. That’s what food is nearly always for me now – just clay, just something that’s part of the work or home environment, nothing worth spending any time thinking about. Paying for the Party My one binge was last Friday; we had a big party at work and I was meticulously abstemious – I really didn’t resent, either. But, when I went home for lunch, I lost it – just kept eating, nothing that I couldn’t swallow but a lot of soft stuff. My wife, who rarely has commented to me about my bingeing, told me the next morning that she was worried that this was just going to be another phase, another failed solution. That really was hard to hear – especially because, of course, it’s my own deepest fear. It doesn’t surprise me that all my “reasons” for not indulging in this behavior again didn’t work – that’s the nature of the beast. But I know that every day of eating with my band will reinforce new behaviors and a new physical reality which will make my binges less and less frequent until I just don’t do it anymore. I know that one thing I could’ve done at the party was to just have a little bit of ice-cream so I wouldn’t feel “deprived”, but there are some foods which have such powerful associations for me, like ice cream, that I just don’t see myself stopping with such a small amount; I’d rather have none. I can’t defend this thinking, but that’ s the way it is for me right now. What’s on the Menu… Anyway, since then, everything’s been great. My meals this month have panned out something like this: I have a glass of buttermilk in the morning, a cup or two of soup in the evening (no cream or milk based soup, no noodles, just veggies) and for lunch (the main meal here) a salad sized plate of steamed vegetables, in between 2-3 oz of chicken, fish or beef and tablespoon sized dollops of salad, and hummus. I don’t drink for an hour before or after meals, and suck on sugar free candies to help get me by. That's all for now - hope to write again soon - lots of love and encouragement and good luck to you all,

My first fill is on January 1st, 2008 (it's a normal workday over here). What a great way to start the New Year!

I'd like to suggest "Scorpio-Sagittarian Satyr" for male members banded in November. This "Scorpio-Sagittarian Satyr" has lost 30 lbs. since being banded on November 21st. Congratulations to us all... let's just remember, we've all lost and gained before, and the operation was on the stomach, not on the head!

NEVER, AND I'M COUNTING THE DAYS. THIS IS THE WEDDING OF MY FAVORITE COUSIN FROM NEW YORK WHO WENT AND FOUND HIMSELF A NICE JEWISH GIRL FROM TEXAS. GO FIGURE...

RIGHT BACK AT YOU, LONGHORN! AND WHAT A GREAT, MULTICULTURAL FAMILY YOU HAVE. I'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME SOME ISRAELI - CHINESE - LEBANESE COOKING SOMETIME (OF COURSE, IN SMALL QUANTITIES WHILE CHEWING SLOWLY). I'LL ACTUALLY BE IN TEXAS IN MAY - I HAVE A WEDDING IN SAN ANTONIO ON THE 10TH AND I'M FLYING IN WITH MY DAUGHTER, "THE FEISTY FIVER". DO YOU LIVE IN AUSTIN OR WERE YOU JUST OPERATED ON THERE? TAKE CARE,

Hi Everybody, i who have died am alive again today Drove to the clinic this morning for my weekly weigh-in: 117.5 kilo, down 13 kilo or 28 pounds since my operation 17 days ago. Sounds wacky - like one of those late night "lose weight fast" TV adds. Slowly, I am starting to realize that if the way I have dealt with food since the operation persists, I will have. truly undergone a life-changing event. I literally feel that, for the first time, I am living life the way it was supposed to be lived. How does this feel? As E.E. Cummings puts it, (i who have died am alive again today, and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth day of life and love and wings:and of the gay great happening illimitably earth) You Sound Thinner When I spoke to my brother on the phone, he said "I know this is going to sound kind of weird, but... you sound thinner". I don't know about that, but I definitely feel calmer, more centered and happier these past few weeks. That being said, all this is more than a little scary as well. I'm going to see my therapist this week for the first time since the operation, and I'll have what to talk about, that's for sure. Physically, by the way, I feel I'm back to just about 100% - it hurts when I sleep on my stomach sometimes, and all in all my stamina still isn't what it used to be. But I took a group of 17 year olds hiking in the desert last week at work, and felt just fine, in fact better than the last time I did that particular hike before the operation. Breaking the Bond It hasn't all been easy. I went to a family wedding last week and ate too much - just got swept away, nothing that hasn't happened before but something I have to work on so that it doesn't happen again. I didn't throw up but I felt very uncomfortable for a long, long time. And once or twice I have been gripped by that good old irrational urge to binge, something that used to be simply overpowering for me. But I didn't do it; just either went to bed or got myself busy doing something else. This is a great victory - before the operation, the obsession would lead to the compulsion ten times out of ten. But this time the physical hunger wasn't there, or wasn't as intense as it has been before (and, of course there's the fear of slippage, of messing the whole thing up), maybe that's why it turned out differently. Could it be that what I have done has broken the bond between unhealthy thinking and unhealthy eating? I mean, everyone has crazy thoughts - but with me, this one always carried through into action. Like I said - if this is what has happened, my life has changed, changed dramatically. The Most Important Thread I've enjoyed reading all of your posts. LBT has given me a lot of support and perspective, but this thread is the most important one for me. Knowing that there are others who are at the same stage in the process is especially valuable. I hope we go on supporting and encouraging each other together for a long time. welcome sugarbearlover, congratulations on the weight loss. welcome admarino - good luck with your fill this week. towens - glad you are eating again, I'd say all our stomachs have been war zones for years, isn't that the truth?! skinnyjill - welcome to onederland, save a place for me. Good luck with your fill. CanadianComfort - glad you have been feeling better since the defill, enjoy the food processor! MarilynC- I really empathized with your post. I got rid of my scale a long time ago. The urge to get on and off it constantly is unbearable and humiliating for me. I weigh in my clinic once a week and that's that. The business of comparing myself to others and the pain that comes with it also struck home with me. I'm glad you have such a supportive partner. Good luck - you have a big fan in the holy land! Marissa - thanks for the back to work wishes. You're right - I come back home and sleep like the dead. Hope you are less stressed - maybe you're still mourning those two cups of coffee in the morning - I know I am! tlwempen - hope you have more Christmas parties once you make it back to eating. Enjoy the new food additions this week. Ovahkummer - still waiting for you Firebolt - hope you made it back from Michegan okay. Snowing, raining, freezing rain and ice storms, hmmmm. The Middle East might be a war zone, but you gotta love the weather. Write back soon! All the best,

Hi, everyone - I'm on my first day of mushies. While I know not to eat and drink at the same time, I'd like to know, from your experience, how much time should go by after eating before it's okay to drink again. :help:

Hi, everyone - I'm on my first day of mushies. While I know not to eat and drink at the same time, I'd like to know, from your experience, how much time should go by after eating before it's okay to drink again. :help:

Good Morning Everyone, A Good Time, Soon to End The sun is streaming down on us after a rare overcast morning here, and the last of the mist is veiling the mountains on the horizon. Sunday is a workday here, and I can see cars and farm vehicles pulling in and out of our parking lot, and people walking around purposefully and necking with their cell phones. I guess I'll be one of them in a few days. I'm due to return to work on Wednesday. I'll be ready, but boy, am I glad I took two weeks to recuperate after the surgery. It has been a time for resting, healing, getting to know my body, thinking, writing, and spending more time at home with my family. I've always been a get back to work quick type of guy, bored and fearful of spending time alone at home, but I'm glad I was ready for a change. Smaller Portions of Life All in all, I have to say that I find myself much more restrained - less involved with who or how many people have or haven't come to visit me, whether or not people can see that I'm losing weight, or on affairs in my community and beyond. It's almost as if the band is teaching me how to digest life in smaller portions - to swallow it slowly, to savor it's taste, to be satisfied from it, to make do with less and to obsess about it a whole lot less. The 500 Ton Gorilla Has Left the Building I weighed in at the clinic today - 11 kilo, or 24 pounds, down since surgery. While people here haven't noticed the loss yet, I've gotten a few comments about how I seem much more calm and content. No big surprise there - life without a 500 ton gorilla on my back shrieking FOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!! non-stop into my ear is another thing all together, apparently. For now, I'm eating very small portions of food, which I find delicious and which fill me up for hours, enjoying my drinks in between meals, and not obsessing about food at all! I've been feeding my kids without nibbling on their leftovers, eating in our dining hall without hearing the siren song of foods I can't have and reacting differently to situations which would've freaked me out before. Squash and Plastic, Anyone? One example here - on the evening of my second day of mushies, I was preparing a meal of pureed zucchini and asked DW, who was standing next to me washing the kids dinner dishes, to wash off the blending component of the hand held mixer which we had recently bought and which I was using for the first time. She did so, but overlooked the plastic cover which was on the blade. Innocently, I blended away, only to find little bits of plastic in my mouth when I tasted the first spoonful. Of course, that was the last zucchini in the house. In the past I would have responded to this situation by getting annoyed at DW and then becoming withdrawn (and, of course, by overeating later to compensate myself). Instead, I literaly laughed out loud as I thought, "hey, I don't really need it anyway- I just lived through a week on liquids!" I just joked about it, threw it out, and made myself something else to eat. I think that this is the real battlefield - long after the weight will have hopefully been gone, I'll still be contending with situations like this (and a whole lot worse!) without misusing food. All the best,

Good Morning Everyone, A Good Time, Soon to End The sun is streaming down on us after a rare overcast morning here, and the last of the mist is veiling the mountains on the horizon. Sunday is a workday here, and I can see cars and farm vehicles pulling in and out of our parking lot, and people walking around purposefully and necking with their cell phones. I guess I'll be one of them in a few days. I'm due to return to work on Wednesday. I'll be ready, but boy, am I glad I took two weeks to recuperate after the surgery. It has been a time for resting, healing, getting to know my body, thinking, writing, and spending more time at home with my family. I've always been a get back to work quick type of guy, bored and fearful of spending time alone at home, but I'm glad I was ready for a change. Smaller Portions of Life All in all, I have to say that I find myself much more restrained - less involved with who or how many people have or haven't come to visit me, whether or not people can see that I'm losing weight, or on affairs in my community and beyond. It's almost as if the band is teaching me how to digest life in smaller portions - to swallow it slowly, to savor it's taste, to be satisfied from it, to make do with less and to obsess about it a whole lot less. The 500 Ton Gorilla Has Left the Building I weighed in at the clinic today - 11 kilo, or 24 pounds, down since surgery. While people here haven't noticed the loss yet, I've gotten a few comments about how I seem much more calm and content. No big surprise there - life without a 500 ton gorilla on my back shrieking FOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!! non-stop into my ear is another thing all together, apparently. For now, I'm eating very small portions of food, which I find delicious and which fill me up for hours, enjoying my drinks in between meals, and not obsessing about food at all! I've been feeding my kids without nibbling on their leftovers, eating in our dining hall without hearing the siren song of foods I can't have and reacting differently to situations which would've freaked me out before. Squash and Plastic, Anyone? One example here - on the evening of my second day of mushies, I was Page Rankingeparing a meal of pureed zucchini and asked DW, who was standing next to me washing the kids dinner dishes, to wash off the blending component of the hand held mixer which we had recently bought and which I was using for the first time. She did so, but overlooked the plastic cover which was on the blade. Innocently, I blended away, only to find little bits of plastic in my mouth when I tasted the first spoonful. Of course, that was the last zucchini in the house. In the past I would have responded to this situation by getting annoyed at DW and then becoming withdrawn (and, ofcourse, by overeating to compensate myself). Instead, I literaly laughed out loud as I thought, "hey, I don't really need it anyway- I just lived through a week on liquids!" I just joked about it, threw it out, and made myself something else to eat. I think that this is the real battlefield - long after the weight will have hopefully been gone, I'll still be contending with situations like this (and a whole lot worse!) without misusing food. All the best,

A Cast of Thousands Last night DW went to her EMT/ambulance driver course from 4:00 - 9:00pm. With my staples in and feeling lightheaded for most of the day, I wasn't up to riding herd on our two boys, "3-2B" and "lucky number seven", and our girl, "the feisty fiver". No worries - we farmed out "Lucky" and "Feisty" to friends from 16:00 to 18:00, and one of "3"'s day care aides volunteered to come over the house and keep him entertained. At 18:00 all boats came home to port, and then a friend came over and helped me through dinner, baths, pajamas, books and bed. Not half as bad as I had feared; I apologized to DW for kind of hinting to her that she should stay home, what with "me being only four days from an operation". Wanting to be treated special is definitely another binge trigger for me - something to be aware of and to work on. 35 Pinches Staples came out at the clinic: 35 little pinches, in and out of there in fifteen minutes. I kept the staples and the disposable scissors to show the kids, who were duly impressed. On the way out of the clinic, the head nurse, who has weight issues of her own, threw me a wink and said, sotto voce, "just remember, honey, they operated on your stomach, not your head". What great advice, exactly along my lines of thinking. There are lots of tough decisions to make in the future, new ways of thinking and acting to be developed. I'm just counting on the lap-band to level the playing field, and make it easier for me to make the right moves. Planning on Puree From tomorrow on, I'm on mushies: mostly dairy products, cooked vegetables and purees for a week. I lost 16 pounds on the liquid diet. Are the rest of you also moving on from liquids? What are you all eating out there? Rededicating the Temple In a few weeks, Jews will celebrate the holiday of Chanuka, in which the desecrated Temple in Jerusalem was cleansed and rededicated. Before I put that first forkful of pureed carrots in my mouth tomorrow morning, I want to rededicate my own temple, which has been renewed, and cleansed for a week now, after years and years of abuse. May I use it as it was intended: to provide me with strength, nourishment, health and pleasure; not as a black hole for fear, insecurity, anger and depression.

Yep - you can use canned chickpeas just fine, without much of a compromise at all in taste. Save the liquid in the can and use it in place of the leftover cooking liquid in the recipe. Once you get the hang of it, w/ canned chickpeas you can make a batch from scratch in ten minutes. Yummmmm.

Tahini or Tehina is a paste-like concentrate made from ground sesame seeds. Once bought, it is mixed with water until it acquires the desired consistency. Popular brands are Sabra, Tuv Taam or Pikante. Any store offering middle eastern goods will stock it. It is available in some health food stores as well.

Here's my favorite recipe for hummus Hummus bi Tahina (Chickpea and Sesame Dip) 125 g (4 oz) chickpeas, soaked for a few hours juice of 2 lemons 3 Tbs. tahina 2 garlic cloves, crushed salt GARNISH 1 Tbs. olive oil 1 tsp. paprika a few sprigs of parsley, finely chopped - Drain the chickpeas and simmer in fresh Water for about an hour or until tender. Reserve the cooking water. - Process the chickpeas in a blender (or food processor) with the lemon juice, tahina, garlic, salt and enough of the cooking liquid to obtain a soft creamy consistency. Serve on a flat plate, garnished with a dribble of olive oil, a dusting of paprika (this is usually done in the shape of a cross) and a little parsley. Serve with warm pita bread for dipping. Serves 4-6.

Hi Everyone, It's Friday night in Israel and my house is filled with squeaky - clean kids and the smells of a big Friday night dinner coming from the kitchen. I'll have a small plate of hummus and tahina while everyone else chows down on pot roast, and then half a bowl of clear Soup two hours later. I walked outside for about 50 minutes under bright sunshine and felt one day, slowly-slowly closer to being 100%. It's great to see new people here - welcome to hungryforchange (congrats on the weight loss!), Karmen (you certainly don't have to be having problems to belong here) and marissa (2 miles in 38 minutes is more than I did today - how is the weather in NC now?) ! Tlwempen - Glad you are feeling better, way to go. Skinnyjill - yep, pangs here too, but definitely a smaller appetite and hungry for longer especially considering the small amounts I have eaten. Towens - hope the port pain is better - I definitely have some sore spots, but I can live with them as long as the kids hold off on the flying hugs, which they are being very good about. MarilynC - Great to have a colleague on board! 8 - 11 is a nice age. I was a fifth grade teacher in Manhattan before heading off to Israel. I didn't have very good luck here- ended up in tough schools with unmanageable situations. I'm much happier in the world of informal education. My Mom and sister are teachers too. Firebolt - send us a sign! How ya' doin'? All the best - have a great weekend!

Thank you, Rain, this was exactly what I was concerned about, I didn't phrase it quite right. Thanks to all who replied.

Dear Kandiceb, travelgirl and foofy, thank you all for your warm replies. - Kandiceb, save a place for me in Banders Hell. I got an fill appointment for January 1, 2008. I'm going to talk to my surgeon's office and see if they can move it up. Anyway, time to practice what I preach... -travelgirl, glad I refreshed you - don't be a lurker! -Foofy, glad the rededication thing resonated with you. I said a short prayer before my first meal today, something I don't ordinarily do. It's amazing how little it took to fill me up. Later today, I dropped in at work for a staff meeting and had no desire to snack at whatever was on the table, and didn't always ask my self "d-mn, when are they going to stop talking so we can eat lunch!." It was a very different connsciousness for me, my focus and concentration were much improved, and I really enjoyed that. Take care, everyone!

These are wonderful bios - moving and inspiring. Thank you to all. Here's mine. My name is David. I'm 47 years old and have been married for ten years. I have four children: a 13 year-old boy, a 7 year-old boy, a 5 year-old girl and a three year-old boy, and a pygmy retriever named Motek ("sweetie" in Hebrew). I live in Israel, on a small kibbutz called Ketura (pop. 500) in the middle of the desert, about half an hour's drive from the Red Sea port city of Eilat. I'm a teacher with a BA in Elementary Ed and an MS in Special Ed. I now work in informal education, designing and implementing educational programs for groups which come to visit our kibbutz and stay at our guest house. I love writing (poetry, stories and songs), reading, hiking and bicycling. My DW is in charge of the volunteers on the kibbutz - young people who have come from all over the world to experience the unique kibbutz lifestyle. A kibbutz is a collective agricultural community. All of our earnings go the kibbutz, and we receive a small monthly stipend adjusted for family size. Our housing , utilities, food, health care and the educational needs of our children are totaly provided for by the kibbutz, and many of our other expenses (telephone, transportation, clothing, etc.) are heavily subsidized. It's an incredibly supportive and interrelated community, and a beautiful one, too (see picture below) . We govern ourselves - all kibbutz members have one vote in our general assembly and are free to leave whenever we want. We grow dates, have 500 dairy cows, have a fish farm in the Red Sea and cultivate fresh Water algae from which we extract and process a pigment called astaxanthin, which is very much in demand. http://farm1.static.flickr.com/74/225357730_eb0c1d6a4f.jpg?v=0 I grew up in New York City, and moved to Israel in 1989 with my first wife after I finished college. We lived in the north of the country for seven years, had my oldest son and then divorced. I re-met DW, an old girlfriend living on Ketura a year later, and we soon picked up where we left off, got married and started making babies. My oldest son and my ex moved back to America a few years later, but he and I are very close, and we see him out here every summer and either winter or spring vacation. I have always been fat, attended my first Weightwatchers meeting when I was 14, gained more weight in college, slimmed down for wedding number one, put it right back (plus, of course), slimmed down again for the divorce, put it right back again (plus again, of course). I've gained 100 pounds in the last ten years, which really set me up as far as meeting the criterea for this operation. WW, OA, therapy - nothing has worked. I believe I can do this - I just need a level playing field, and I'm counting on the band to give it to me. It was time for something new, and I'm feeling good about the decision I made (banded one week ago as of tomorrow) and about moving towards my hopes together with all of you.

That's a great accomplishment, Foofy! Congratulations!

Lukin, I was just glad that the moment had finally come, and that finally I was going to do something new about this problem that I have wrestled with for nearly my entire life. It had been so long since I had such a feeling of hope... good luck with your surgery tomorrow.

Tlwempen, What's this about how "all the walking i been doing is in the house where it is warm!"?! Who took the kids to a parade right after surgery, huh? And who sat there watching everyone chow down on Taco Jons (what is a Taco Jon - no wait, I probably don't want to know that) and held strong? You sound like the meanest bandster from Manderson, WY! Hope the migraines and non hiccups are passing you by. I've felt light-headed too, I kinda put it down to not eating. All the best,

Ovahkummer, When you're ready, run for the train and we'll be there standing outside the caboose with our arms outstretched to pull you aboard. We shall indeed overcome!

That's my hope for us all!

Good Morning, Firebolt, good to hear from you, too! I hear you on the pang... this is going to be slow going, and not always easy. Good for DH for keeping you on the straight and narrow. Us DH's are pretty good guys, you know? That's great you are keeping up on the walking - a half an hour out under the sun today was quite enough for me, thank you. I've seen people where I live come back from hiatal hernia surgery, sounds like you are doing great. Have a great day,