bandpal

YEAH STEPH!!!

Thank you SkinnyJill and Longhorn for good wishes and compliments. The trip has been as good as I've allowed it to be - it's amazing how our beliefs and emotions determine our reality, no matter what the circumstances of the given moment are. Prayer has been very important for me lately - grounding me and lifting me up at the same time. Yesterday I managed to get together with my fourteen year old son who lives in the New York area with his mom, (my ex-wife), and also visit with my parents (I'm staying with my inlaws for the first few days of the trip). I am very close with both my son and my parents, but the distance between us makes these meetings very charged. In addition, my father has has Parkinson's Disease since the late 1970's, and is pretty incapacitated now. Anyway, on the train on the way from my parents over to pick up my son, I was feeling sad about my Dad's condition and pressured about whether I was going to make it out to my son's house on time. Then I stopped and said - "look at the gift you've been given,to be able to in the space of one day give and receive love from the dearest and most inaccessible people in your life, and here you are raining on your own parade! " Then I pulled out my prayerbook and read the Song of Songs, the lyrical poem from the Bible which it's customary for observant Jews to read before the Sabbath. Man, just try being depressed after reading that thing. That was a great intervention, and a lovely moment. I was able to get my mind and heart back where they needed to be. How does all of this relate to food and the band? Easy: in the past, I would have turned to two double quarter pounder meals instead of the Song of Songs. The combination of the limits the band imposes on me and the resultant weight loss along with it's positive emotional effects have brought me to the place where I am able to respond differently to situations where food was once the only recourse. When you think about it, food for me really had become a false god, whose altar I worshipped at ceaselessly. But , as ee cummings puts it so beautifuly, "(now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened)", and I can turn to what is for me the real source of all strength and nurturing. Sorry for going on about religion, I by no means want to preach or lecture - this is just where I am at. Thank you all so much for giving me the opportunity to share with you.

I love that "daeth over dishonor", Foofy - you made me smile with that one. Seat belts have been my new best friend since the band. I find myself compulsively buckling and unbuckling myself! Yet another disorder to tend to. SkinnyJill, I did notice that my restriction was up there on the flight, didn't even think about it being due to the altitude or cabin pressure or whatever. Yet another reason not to join NASA - I'd pop like a balloon!

That's nearly 16 elephant penises!

Name............Lbs Lost........% of wgt lost.......BMI Foofy..............37.5..................14%.................38 Sades.............31.5..................14%.................36 Shalee04.........61.....................24...................31.1 Bandpal...........66.8..................24%................36

Hey Bella, Great to hear from you again! Men lose faster but women live longer, so all in all, sounds like a fair trade-off to me. Congratulations on your weight loss. I stayed away from matzah balls this Pesach, but had a nasty encounter with a Macaroon. We won't be going there again anytime soon. Take care, stay in touch...

Dear db, First of all, congratulations and good luck with your surgery on Wednesday! I had mine on November 21 of last year and have lost 65 pounds, from 286 to 220. I am also a CPAP user. When I got the CPAP, my doctor told me that I probably wouldn't need it if I ever got my weight down to 185. With the band, this has become a real possibility. I'm looking forward to getting rid of it. Even though I've grown accustomed to it over the last three years, it's a pain lugging it around when I travel, and I'm tired of my wife calling me "hose-nose". To my knowledge, if you don't have one of those "smart" machines that record your data on a car that you can send in for analysis, the only way to confirm that your pressure is too high is through spending another night at the sleep laboratory. Of course, if my brains ever started to drip out through my ears, that would be a helpful clue as well.... hang in there and be patient. Once your weight starts coming down, your sleep will improve - mine did!

Hi Nymphs, I've enjoyed reading everyone's updates. I guess I've mentioned most of the stuff that's been happening with me - I'm exactly at my halfway point today with a 65 pound weight loss, and about to go under the 100 kilo mark (I think I'll call it "Underland" - how 'bout that). I'm working on recognising feeling full, eating slowly (ate lunch with a toothpick and dinner using my left hand) and am grateful that I'm actually willing and able to learn some good eating habits after so many years of abuse. I did some closet shopping today and had a very surprising and satisfying reunion with four pairs of my size 38 jeans, just in time to be able to show them off during my trip to America. This trip will give me the opportunity to deal with some difficult family relationships, especially with my sister, and some joyful but charged events: my parents' 50th wedding anniversary party and a family wedding which will bring us all out to Texas. Obviously, it's important not to eat over whatever the next few weeks will bring. Also, going back home means revisiting the "scene of the crime"- the places and tastes that fueled my overeating for years. I know I will make the time to check in with everyone during my travels. I've been reading an amazing book lately: "Healing Into Immortality" by Dr. Gerald Epstein. It's given me some good insights and tools - visualizations and affirmations that I know will come in handy. What other books have helped you during these last months?

Hot, Halfway, Honest, Happy and Homeward Bound -Bandpal's Periodic Update- Hi Nymphs, Hot It's 40 degrees celsius with a hot desert wind howling down the valley and kicking up clouds of sand. My three year-old and I are riding out the weather inside while the big kids are out with DW bowling and ice skating down in the city by the sea. He just scored a thumping victory over the old man at Candyland, thanks to a little clever card manipulation on my part, and after celebrating with a round of drinks (pink grapefruit juice for him, chicken broth for me), he's settled down on the couch for the latest adventures of Sammy the Fireman on TV. Meanwhile, I'd like to share a little bit of what's going on with this old bandster dad. Halfway I've lost 61.5 pounds since being banded on 21.11.07, putting me at 224.5 pounds, or 102 kilo. I haven't been under 100 kilo since you could take in the view of Manhattan from the observation deck of the World Trade Center, so that'll be a pretty significant milestone (kilometerstone?) for me. I'm more or less at the halfway point of the weight I want to lose. Meanwhile, it's Passover now, prime eating season for us Jews, yet I've actually lost weight during the holiday. Now, that's definitely a first. Honest My second fill, two weeks ago, is keeping me honest. Unless I eat or drink very slowly and in exceedingly small quantities, I can expect to see whatever I've eaten or drunk again, often in vivid projectile displays that would not embarrass the special effects crew of The Exorcist. Only yesterday, in fact, I narrowly missed covering my 14 year-old son, sitting across from me in one of our premier local seafood establisments, in a mighty stream of masticated scallops in cream sauce (leaving him, for once, entirely speechless). Finding the point at which I am full, before the food starts to back up, has been very challenging for me. I'm usually hungry when I sit down to eat, and it's hard to remember how important it is to eat slowly. Any tips would be appreciated - how do you know when you've had enough? This evening I managed to keep down two slices of steamed zucchini, each about an inch thick and two inches in diameter, each slice cut into 16 sections, four across and four down (I know this sounds really anal retentive, but I need to describe where I'm at). I ate the sections one at a time with a toothpick over 45 minutes. Besides that, the only thing that stays down are liquids, mostly clear and some full, and only if I drink them slowly. Happy Don't get me wrong – for all of this I am grateful. My appetite is much, much smaller, my stomach is shrinking, I am literally being forced to learn new and healthier eating habits, I am learning how to navigate various social and emotional situations without overeating... "je ne regrette rien", as they say in French. I can't believe what's happening to me. I have broken a pattern that was totally out of control, that was making me miserable, ruining my life and which I was convinced was going to kill me.I'm so glad that I was willing to take the risk, and that I had people around to support me. In the space of five months – hey, I just realized, five month banding anniversary was the day before yesterday, congratulations on month number 5, everyone – my life has changed. That's what I tried to tell my surgeon in the space of the two minutes it took to give me my fill, and he just nodded his head and smiled. He probably hears the same thing twenty times a day. Homeward Bound Next up for me is a three week trip back to the States for a family wedding. I'll be with my parents and siblings in the greater New York area for most of the time, and then we'll all travel down to San Antonio, Texas to watch my cousin tie the knot. Accompanying me will be my six year-old daughter, and I am looking forward to visits to the ballet, the zoo, toy stores and the rowboat lake in Central Park. I am hoping for a binge-free visit, one in which the people I am with and the things I am doing won't be overshadowed by my relationship with food. Wishing you all sure steps forward on the road we are all walking together, Bandpal P.S. Next day's breakfast: 1/2 hard boiled egg, 1 cherry tomato and two depitted olives, eaten slowly with toothpick. Am now sipping fruit juice through a straw. I have to be aware enough to see what I need, and resourceful enough in order to get it.

Yeah Foofy! Thumbs up big time on that tip about eating with the left hand - I'm definitely trying that out today...

A runny nose is one of my signs too, but for me it means I've eaten too much.

Thanks, guys! I was eating lunch as I was reading through this thread, and you all convinced me to stop when I wasn't hungry and put the leftovers back in the fridge! That's a real accomplishment, believe it or not - the word "leftovers" usually doesn't exist in my vocabulary. Part of the learning process for me is recognising when my hunger has been satisfied as opposed to when I feel full. I also need to unlearn the compulsion to finish everything on my plate, no matter how much there is. or no matter whether I am still hungry or not. The "diet mentality" that I have adapted throughout the years tells me that I am entitled to the food which I am entitled to. Putting food back or stopping short is like cheating myself! What a plan-centered mentality, as opposed to recognising and acting on my own needs! I need to know that eating until I am stuffed or until my plate is empty are false markers. I need to recognise the point at which I am no longer hungry, and stop eating. Since being banded, hiccuping is a sign for me that that point is near. Maybe I need to accept that it means even more than that - that it means it's time to bring my meal to an end.

Hot, Halfway, Honest, Happy and Homeward Bound -Bandpal's Periodic Update- Hi Nymphs, Hot It's 40 degrees celsius with a hot desert wind howling down the valley and kicking up clouds of sand. My three year-old and I are riding out the weather inside while the big kids are out with DW bowling and ice skating down in the city by the sea. He just scored a thumping victory over the old man at Candyland, thanks to a little clever card manipulation on my part, and after celebrating with a round of drinks (pink grapefruit juice for him, chicken broth for me), he's settled down on the couch for the latest adventures of Sammy the Fireman on TV. Meanwhile, I'd like to share a little bit of what's going on with this old bandster dad. Halfway I've lost 61.5 pounds since being banded on 21.11.07, putting me at 224.5 pounds, or 102 kilo. I haven't been under 100 kilo since you could take in the view of Manhattan from the observation deck of the World Trade Center, so that'll be a pretty significant milestone (kilometerstone?) for me. I'm more or less at the halfway point of the weight I want to lose. Meanwhile, it's Passover now, prime eating season for us Jews, yet I've actually lost weight during the holiday. Now, that's definitely a first. Honest My second fill, two weeks ago, is keeping me honest. Unless I eat or drink very slowly and in exceedingly small quantities, I can expect to see whatever I've eaten or drunk again, often in vivid projectile displays that would not embarrass the special effects crew of The Exorcist. Only yesterday, in fact, I narrowly missed covering my 14 year-old son, sitting across from me in one of our premier local seafood establisments, in a mighty stream of masticated scallops in cream sauce (leaving him, for once, entirely speechless). Finding the point at which I am full, before the food starts to back up, has been very challenging for me. I'm usually hungry when I sit down to eat, and it's hard to remember how important it is to eat slowly. Any tips would be appreciated - how do you know when you've had enough? This evening I managed to keep down two slices of steamed zucchini, each about an inch thick and two inches in diameter, each slice cut into 16 sections, four across and four down (I know this sounds really anal retentive, but I need to describe where I'm at). I ate the sections one at a time with a toothpick over 45 minutes. Besides that, the only thing that stays down are liquids, mostly clear and some full, and only if I drink them slowly. Happy Don't get me wrong – for all of this I am grateful. My appetite is much, much smaller, my stomach is shrinking, I am literally being forced to learn new and healthier eating habits, I am learning how to navigate various social and emotional situations without overeating... "je ne regrette rien", as they say in French. I can't believe what's happening to me. I have broken a pattern that was totally out of control, that was making me miserable, ruining my life and which I was convinced was going to kill me.I'm so glad that I was willing to take the risk, and that I had people around to support me. In the space of five months – hey, I just realized, five month banding anniversary was the day before yesterday, congratulations on month number 5, everyone – my life has changed. That's what I tried to tell my surgeon in the space of the two minutes it took to give me my fill, and he just nodded his head and smiled. He probably hears the same thing twenty times a day. Homeward Bound Next up for me is a three week trip back to the States for a family wedding. I'll be with my parents and siblings in the greater New York area for most of the time, and then we'll all travel down to San Antonio, Texas to watch my cousin tie the knot. Accompanying me will be my six year-old daughter, and I am looking forward to visits to the ballet, the zoo, toy stores and the rowboat lake in Central Park. I am hoping for a binge-free visit, one in which the people I am with and the things I am doing won't be overshadowed by my relationship with food Wishing you all sure steps forward on the road we are all walking together, Bandpal P.S. Next day's breakfast: 1/2 hard boiled egg, 1 cherry tomato and two depitted olives, eaten slowly with toothpick. Am now sipping fruit juice through a straw. I have to be aware enough to see what I need, and resourceful enough in order to get it.

That's great news to wake up to this morning, Kendra! Keep drinking those herbs and feeling better!

Besides projecting an air of openness and friendliness, Bandpal is an anagram for Lapband. Cute idea for a thread!

Dear SkinnyJill, Thank you very much for your encouragement and support. Guess what - my restriction eased significantly during the day today. I was able to keep down pea soup for lunch and yoghurt for dinner, so I think things are moving in the right direction. But the best experience was simply being able to drink a nice, full, tall glass of water. Ah, the simple pleasures of life. I hear you on passing up on your fill - why get it if you don't really feel you need it? I held off on this fill until more than three months had passed. It's not like there's an unlimited amount of space in the band, you know? I want to be able to use it when I really need it. Your training experience sounds great (and congrats on the weight loss!) - I'm going to have to get me some of that at some point. I've had lifelong difficulty spending quality time with my body, I'm sure the input from someone else would be very helpful for me. Thanks again, your words really helped, -Bandpal

I had my second fill on Thursday, April 10th - made the two and a half hour drive across the desert to my doctor's office in Be'er Sheva. He was half an hour late, and although I had the first appointment at nine p.m., I didn't make it out of there and back to my car until nearly ten. The fill itself was nothing - lie down on the table, a swab of local anaesthetic, needle in the chest for a few seconds and button up my shirt on the way back out the door - but I had to stay and drink two glasses ofwater to make sure they went down. I made it home by 12:30 am. This was a 2cc fill, so I'm up to 5cc in a 10cc Swiss Johnson & Johnson band. It's very tight. I've slimed up saliva a few times, but it seems to be loosening up a bit even though I haven't even thought seriously about trying to eat. I've been on liquids since Thursday, which means I haven't had anything to eat in three days. Having been on liquids for a week after the surgery has become a point of strength I keep coming back to. So much of our eating is by choice, isn't it? Out of want, not need. When I think I want to eat, sometimes I remind myself that I made it a whole week on liquids and nothing happened to me - so do I really need whatever it is that I want? Now I'm back to liquids, and I know I'm not going to start eating again until I feel ready, until I can get thick liquids down without bringing them back up. It's amazing, meanwhile, how I'm nearly never hungry, and how much more clarity and presence of mind I have when I am not thinking about what I ate, what I'm going to eat, what I would eat if I could, etc. Go Nymphs! - Bandpal

I had my second fill on Thursday, April 10th - made the two and a half hour drive across the desert to my doctor's office in Be'er Sheva. He was half an hour late, and although I had the first appointment at nine p.m., I didn't make it out of there and back to my car until nearly ten. The fill itself was nothing - lie down on the table, a swab of local anaesthetic, needle in the chest for a few seconds and button up my shirt on the way back out the door - but I had to stay to drink two glasses of Water and make sure they went down. I made it home by 12:30 am. This was a 2cc fill, so I'm up to 5cc in a 10cc Swiss Johnson & Johnson band. It's very tight. I've slimed up saliva a few times, but it seems to be loosening up a bit even though I haven't even thought seriously about trying to eat. I've been on liquids since Thursday, which means I haven't had anything to eat in three days. Having been on liquids for a week after the surgery has become a point of strength I keep coming back to. So much of our eating is by choice, isn't it? Out of want, not need. When I think I want to eat, sometimes I remind myself that I made it a whole week on liquids and nothing happened to me - so do I really need whatever it is that I want? Now I'm back to liquids, and I'm following the same routine I did after the operation. I know I'm not going to start eating again until I feel ready, until I can get thick liquids down without bringing them back up. It's amazing, meanwhile, how I'm nearly never hungry, and how much more clarity and presence of mind I have when I am not thinking about what I ate, what I'm going to eat, what I would eat if I could, etc. Tlwempen, I hope your surgery went well. What a lousy break - but you sound like you rolled with the punch pretty well. Let us know what's going on. SkinnyJill, how did your fill go, and how's the personal trainer working out? Longhorn, we are all rooting hard for you... All the best, hope to hear from everyone soon, Bandpal

Dear Kendra, Welcome back home. I wanted to share the prayer that I've been reciting for you (in Hebrew), part of the daily ritual which is recited three times a day: Heal us, O Lord, and we shall be healed; help us and save us, for you are our glory. Grant perfect healing for all of our afflictions. May it find favor before You, my God and my ancestors’ God, that You speedily send perfect healing from the heavens, spiritual healing and physical healing to Kendra daughter of Geraldine, along with others who are stricken. For You are the faithful and merciful God of healing. Blessed are You, L-rd, Who heals the sick of His people Israel. Kendra, under the blue skies, amidst the green valleys and against the mountain peaks of my desert home, I send this prayer upward, along with a hug and a big dose of hope, strength and encouragement. Be a good longhorn - proud, fearless, independent and free. By the way - I have a friend here who was diagnosed with fourth stage ovarian cancer which had metastized to her spinal Fluid. That was four years ago and she is alive and kicking, thanks to excellent medical care at Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem (including Taxol, by the way), her loving friends and community and her incredibly obstinate Brooklyn-born nature. She actually signed her body away to the medical school at Tel Aviv university when she learned how ill she was, and now we joke about how they're going to charge her interest when she finally shows up there, many years from now. Her name is Michelle and if you'd like, PM me and I'll give you her email. She would love to hear from you. Love, Bandpal

For me, language is closely linked to identity. The puns, metaphors and analogies that I use express who I am as much as they aid me in saying what I want to say. When a situation is called for where I need to abandon these friends in the name of communication, I have a difficult choice to make: focus on getting my message across or seem boring, dull and colorless. All too often, I make the wrong choice. Imagine trying to express yourself in another language - even then my reluctance to stick to simple communicative language has lead to non communication at best and hilariously embarrasing incidents at worst. You can learn alot about yourself by what language choices you make. It's ironic how often the goal of communication comes in second (at best) when we open our mouths! On that note: WasaBubbleButt, I haven't read a post from you in a dog's day!!! Under what bushel have you been hiding your light lately? Don't be a stranger!

Hey Susannah/Shoshana - hope you had a happy Purim down under! Congrats on your weight loss. Have you ever been to Israel before? Where are you from in Australia? We get groups of students on gap year programs (AUJS and IBC) visiting us on our kibbutz during the winter. It's always fun to have Aussies here. All the best, stay in touch.