Thank you for the last three posts. Elode... samuelsmom, and joatsaint.
thanks for your kindly encouraging reply to work better for this.
this was my first post on this site after lurking for months, and since I know that this is a personal battle and not looking for someone to pat me on the back and sing a lullaby, I was disappointed at the initial replies. So thank you for being encouraging and kind in your communications, as well as real.