Cajun cutie...don't give up on yourself. I was banded in Nov 07. It took me about four to five months for my head (psychologically) to catch up and realize what I had done (had the lapband surgery). Let me just say, for the first time in my life, I DID NOT BEAT MYSELF UP. I did, however, wonder if I was going to me the ONLY person on the planet earth that this procedure didn't work for. With all of that said, I had to be honest with myself (like you already have which is evident by admitting all the things that you are doing that you should not). Let me just say, that is the first step. Next, You just have to wrap your mind around the fact that you have taken very drastic measures to help you conquer you issues with your weight.
What I did was focus on eating and my food choices FIRST. No exercise. I did this for about 2 to 3 weeks. I made the right choices for the most part. Lean protien, veggies, then a small amount of carbs. The biggest thing that I focused on, was realizing when I felt full. Then, I would stop...immediately. Amazingly, I started dropping weight. Then, I added the exercise...slowly. You get the idea.
Just know that you can do this. Dont beat yourself up. Take the time that you need to adjust to your new lifestyle. This is an amazing tool...good luck using it. I wish you the best.