hey there!!! I understand what you are saying. My husband told me he liked me the way I am and that I'm not THAT big. Well, I'm solid so my weight is spread evenly. But still health issues: sleep apena, high blood pressure, II diabetes, PCOS, and my BMI is 41.8.
My advise: Really take a moment to think about him body,mind and soul. It may be that he has HIS own insecurities. Complications with or without surgery is NOT the true reason. My husband is truly scared I will lose weight and lose my mind--possiblily hit the club and find new love. He just won't say that. So, there's other underlying reasons believe me. Band is more safer...do what's best for you. Like you, my grandmother died at 54 and I just buried my aunt at 51 on Aug 10th.