Tori Loukas

I hope you do follow through with counseling on your own. It sounds like a lot of co-dependency and control issues going on, and little real love and sharing. That's not a judgment; rather it's only an observation on my part. As for him, I wouldn't marry him at this point--too much stuff going on for both of you. Also as for him, I don't know about you--many compulsive overeaters, whether they go through with WLS or not, have control issues. They often revolve around food, then other people. What the origins are for this kind of behavior is irrelevant; it's entirely up to YOU whether or not you want to continue tolerating it. Good luck to you! I wish you the best with or without him. Remember, about him and his problems--not your circus, not your monkeys. Stop trying to help him-because what you're actually doing is enabling him to continue being the way he is. Concentrate on YOUR journey and let him have his. My humble opinion! Thanks.

Wow. I hemmed and hawed on my surgery for seven years due to fear. I was able to overcome it finally, and my surgeon and his office stuck by me all those years, much to their credit. I had my surgery this past September and it is the best thing I have ever done for myself, physically AND emotionally. I was and remain very blessed that I always have had great support from family and friends. I think you've gotten some great advice and support right here and that it'd be great for you to continue with that. My only comment to add is that you need to do this for yourself---for your very life, physical and emotional health----NOT for anyone else--whether to inspire them or survive for them in their futures. Your wife's weight and health is HER journey. If you can't get anything positive from her about this, don't try to get it from her. She is riddled with fear about it and that's not your problem. The advice above about seeking counseling is great, I feel. Regardless of whether that happens or not, you need to save your life. Get in touch with the local support and seek alternatives too---it's so important! Get on a hard-target search for support, it is there if you look for it in earnest. Lastly---don't delay your weight loss pre-surgery for joining a gym, etcetera. I delayed my weight loss for so long, and it was made up with excuses because of fear and apprehension. I'm not saying one way or the other that this is true in your case--I don't know.....but call yourself out on your delaying if that is what it's really about. You don't need to get into an exercise regimen pre-surgery if that means you have to wait. I lost my pre-surgery weight without exercising at all---I couldn't, because of bad arthritis in my knees. It will be easier for you and there will be plenty of time to establish a routine after surgery and some initial weight loss. CONGRATULATIONS on your moving towards surgery---best of luck to you on this wonderful journey!

Oh, I forgot. I am already taking bigger bites than a pencil eraser! Also, I chew 30 times for chicken and turkey and you'll learn you don't have to chew that much for veggies, for example. I don't. I eat yogurt pretty fast. I can drink liquids pretty fast. And, the liquid part of the diet for me was only or 4 weeks. I take generally 15-20 minutes to eat a meal now. Everyone progresses differently. Try not to worry about things that probably will never happen----that's what I learned from all this. EVERYTHING I worried about did NOT come true! I do know it's normal though---everybody has fear of the unknown to varying degrees. Now I am at the point where there are NO restrictions on what I can eat---it's entirely up to ME to choose healthy, low fat, non-sugary foods, and I do. I want to be a normal weight, healthy person free of food addiction. I have to keep my eyes on the prize and live and eat accordingly. I also have to watch how much of anything I eat, and how fast. You'll do GREAT, please don't worry so much.

The hospital did put a catheter in me. It was inserted in my vee for urine output---once I was peeing on my own the next morning they took it out. I don't know what your hospital's protocol is regarding that. I'd say don't be afraid---I never even felt it and it was inserted while I was still out under anesthesia before they took me out of post-op recovery and to my room. It was absolutely no problem at all for me. As for your events--my advice is to just go and enjoy yourself. Alcohol and food aren't what make a good time. Sure, they contribute to the fun, but you can have plenty of fun without them, they're not necessary. I'm willing to bet too that your friends and family will accommodate you with whatever you have to do for the sake of your health and what you're trying to do. Just tell them, explain it to them. They'll understand. I don't think it'll ruin anyone's time! They'll just appreciate the fact that you are there celebrating with them. Drinking alcohol does not make memories---it's YOU that make memories. How do I know? I'm a recovering alcoholic for 21 years and have gone to many important events and not drank and no problem for anyone!

Omg, I felt the way you feel, exactly. I flip-flopped on getting the Gastric Bypass for SEVEN YEARS. I was afraid of everything about it, and so doubted whether or not it was the right choice for me. At one point, I dropped out of my pre-op program for two years, thinking, "I can do this myself"---well, I ended up gaining even more weight to get to my highest weight of 373 pounds. Then, my insurance (Medicare) finally approved the Sleeve last year and it seemed like a better fit for me, so I started looking into having surgery again. My surgeon then informed me that his surgery of choice for me was the Sleeve. I still didn't seem to be able to commit to losing the 40 pounds they wanted me to lose beforehand. Also, my surgeon told me I had to quit smoking and stay quitted for a full year before he would operate on me. Then somehow it all clicked into place. I quit smoking for that year and am still quitted. After years of waffling, one day at the doc's office his nurse told me if I could lose 15 pounds in 5 weeks they could finally schedule me. So I got on it and ended up losing 27 pounds. I ate lean Protein and veggies and salads, Lean Cuisines, lots of green tea. And I found that by cutting out all those unhealthy carbs I was eating I was rid of cravings for them---at LAST. So ---I got my date and went for it. I had my Sleeve on September 9th of 2014. I've lost 66 pounds since then, am just over 4 months out. It was a little tough in the beginning but totally doable. I had no pain. I was only in hospital for a day. Everything went well for me. Then, I did everything they told me to do and it worked. I am SO glad I finally did it. It was all the garbage in my head that prevented me from going forward, until I got sick of my own stuff and just went past it. I suffer from depression and have to take plenty of meds too. That didn't affect anything about the surgery. The surgery not only is shrinking me down physically, it has made me a better person now that I'm not preoccupied with food. I used and abused food---and for all the wrong reasons. Today all those issues are totally gone, and I'm living my life the way it is meant to be lived. I wish I had done this sooner, but I don't regret the past and all my waffling. For some reason, I think I had to go through that to finally be ready. Everyone is different and has their own path. Please don't hesitate. It'll be the best thing you've ever done for yourself. Good Luck!

My surgeon, Dr. David Miles, chose the Sleeve for me because I have debilitating and painful arthritis in my knees and back ( undoubtedly due to 24 years of morbid obesity) and have to take an NSAID for it--Naproxen, 1,000 mg. a day---and the RNY doesn't allow NSAIDS. I totally chose to listen to his wisdom on this. Also, I was nervous about malabsorption, continual nausea possibility, and dumping syndrome with the RNY. He said the Sleeve allows for 10% less weight loss overall than the RNY but I don't care. He doesn't do Lap-Bands any more either and said that procedure wouldn't help me lose enough weight anyway. So far I've lost 64 pounds since my Sleeve on September 9th, 2014, my surgeon's staff say my rate of weight loss is "excellent", and I'm very happy with the Sleeve and my surgeon's choice for me!

I'm so sorry you're not losing right now~~ but don't get discouraged! You're in what's called a "stall"~ a temporary period of time when the body stops losing so it can "catch up" to its weight loss. My surgeon's PA assures me it's only temporary and after the body adjusts it starts losing again. I was stalled for three weeks in my third month and am now losing again. I'm 4 month out as of tomorrow and I lost 4 pounds last week. So take a deeeep breath, and relax. You don't have to do anything different from what you're already doing~ and it will pass on its own. Talk to your surgeon or their staff about it, and they will reassure you that it's NORMAL~ and virtually everybody goes through it at some point in their weight loss journey! Best of luck to you

Oh, and I take an Omega-3 supplement, too (fish oil capsules) I think it helps a little.

I started losing hair at about 2 1/2 months out. My hair was already long and on the thin side. It has simply thinned quite a bit all throughout my hair~~ no bald Patches or anything. I haven't had to cut it. My hairstylist was the first one to notice it. I am now almost 4 months out and my hair loss seems to have slowed down. I have been taking 10,000 mcg. of Biotin every day, and I also take Virgin Coconut Oil capsules and another Skin/Hair/Nails supplement every day. The suggestion by another member above about using Nioxin shampoo, conditioner, and treatment is a great one. They have different formulations for different types of hair. I'd be using it myself but can't afford it right now as it's a little expensive for me. I have used it before and got it on sleekhair.com. Give it a try. Good luck to you!

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to you, too----and to everybody here!

Thanks, Beni! You rock

I was told that caffeine stimulates the hunger hormone, dehydrates, and increases stomach acid. I am drinking a glass of iced decaf with a little sugar-free creamer right now. I am not missing caffeine and I used to drink gallons of it every day! Just the weight loss, Water, and Vitamins are increasing my energy level and I'm satisfied with that.

The emotional urge to eat rarely comes anymore---note said "Rarely" not "Never!" ( Lol) . I deal with it by getting my mind on something else. I am a food addict, and part of my recovery is filling that void on a daily basis. I am 21 years in AA and I employ the 12 Steps, the literature, and AA's fellowship to deal with my sobriety. So I use the 12 Steps in regards to my eating. I am not a formal member of a facetime OA group but I do some online stuff with OA that helps me, including a daily blog from a Yahoo email loop that I found. I get my inspiration there. I have a few friends that I am accountable to with my eating who are familiar with the 1 Step program of recovery. I have no control over and am powerless over my eating. My way gained me 250 pounds so I am willing to take the direction of those who have gone before me in this regard. Recovery is a 3-legged stool: Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual. I also had to forge a personal relationship with a God of my understanding to straighten out my ass! Along with that, people to call and talk to when I get into trouble (or, preferably before I get into trouble!) and practicing a daily program is what I use, and it's worked for me. If I get the emotional urge to eat today, I "out" it. I write it out, talk it out, walk it out, whatever. Then I let it go. And, I find that more often than not, that urge to eat just passes on its own if I say a little prayer, get onto something else, and ignore the lies it's telling me, like, "You need to eat this", or "One bite won't hurt". It WILL hurt--because once I start, I don't stop. And it's a disease, with its own pathology and stages that ultimately will lead me to my demise. It is my own responsibility to be well and happy---and each day I want my choices to reflect that. GREAT topic, thanks!

Hey!! Best of luck to you, and wishes for a speedy recovery! I sent u a message---I see here that Dr. Hooks is doing your Sleeve. You will love it! Please keep me posted on your progress, okay?

Hi I'm Tori, I had the Sleeve done by Dr. David Miles at New Hanover Regional Medical Center in Wilmington, NC on Sept. 9th, 2014. Want to connect with others in the Cape fear area!

Hi, I'm Tori, and I had the VSG on September 9th, 2014 by Dr. David Miles in Wilmington, NC. I have lost 50 lbs. since then, plus 27 lbs. pre-surgery (since July, 2014). My goal is 160 pounds. I've had a great experience so far--and have not regretted a minute of the journey. Tell me about yourself and your experiences with WLS! Looking to connect and make new friends here. Glad I found this site and happy to be here!

Hi! I don't have any full-body pics unfortunately but I do have a selfie at 345 lbs. I need to get a current pic for you guys....

Hi Skywalker, Congratulations on your upcoming surgery! Good for you for doing a 5-day prep. It can only help that much more to prepare you sooner for what's ahead. Good on you also for stocking up pre-surgery. A lot of people don't do that, amazingly enough! I love the Premier Protein drinks---they taste just like chocolate milk , and I put a few ice cubes in them even though I chill them first. I used Pure Protein powder too...the chocolate, and their Protein Bars, too. But don't start out with the bars in the beginning. Do EVERYTHING to the letter what you are instructed to do, you will do GREAT! Don't forget your Vitamins, Calcium Citrate, Iron, and I started out with 10,000 Mcg. Biotin per day too as well as Omega-3's.

Thank you, Elode!

I can so relate, trixietalks! I had my sleeve done by Dr.David Miles in Wilmington, NC in September. I've lost 50 lbs. since then, and also sometimes wonder if he really did anything at all, because I have had zero pain, complications, or nausea! The only problem I had was constipation for about a month from the gall bladder pills I'm taking for 6 months, but even that has since reversed itself. Sleeve Life is awesome!!

God bless you! I had heart palpitations and shortness of breath just taking a SHOWER four days after surgery and had to call my doctor, never mind walking for nearly a mile. You are in your first week of recovery. Try to give yourself a break and don't rush into your previous level of activity. Good luck to you!

Congratulations, emsgirl! I lost 14 lbs. the first week and was losing about 5 a week, now it's down to 3. I hit a plateau but the surgeon's PA said just to live thru it, it'll pass then the weight will start to drop off again. I did a pre-surgery diet of my own concoction ( mostly lean Protein and vegetables and a ton of green tea ) but the surgeon's prep was only for 2 days before surgery. I took SEVEN YEARS of going back and forth on whether or not to have surgery and my doc's office just hung with me and I'm glad they did because I FINALLY DID IT! Yay!