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I was really impatient at first. Once I made the decision to do it, I wanted it DONE and didn't have time for all this futzing around beforehand. But once it became clear to me that I couldn't shortcut the process, I settled into a groove and it was okay. Now I'm three weeks away from surgery and suddenly it seems like the date came out of nowhere. I think the only risk you have of "doing too much too soon" is if going full-bore into it now makes you lose interest in the long run. You're the best judge of whether that's likely to happen. For me, one thing I've realized through this process is that I tend to engage in "all or nothing" thinking, going overboard from one extreme to another. I get super-excited about the shiny new thing, but I can't sustain that level of enthusiasm and when I fall out of love with the shiny thing it's really hard to get it back. Achieving balance and long-term focus is my nirvana.

I love this topic, and am really enjoying reading all the replies. I am all over the place in trying to set a weight goal, and even more puzzled by the size goal. My clothing-related goal is to be able to shop from normal stores. I love clothes and that sounds like amazing freedom. And I want to wear boots. I miss boots. My weight-related goal is also to be normal. I am always aware of whether I'm the fattest person in the room, and these days I usually am. I'd like that to end. I just want to fit in, physically and metaphorically. I'm shocked by all the people who are talking about size 4, 6, 8, and am shocked by my shock if that makes any sense. I mean, I know that getting smaller is part of the deal (if not kind of the point), but I haven't been in single-digit sizes since just after puberty and am having a hard time adjusting my worldview to admit the possibility of wearing any. I realize that my "shop in normal stores" goal would seem to include single digit sizes by definition, but it's hard to make the connection. Maybe size inflation really has been out of control the past 25+ years (omg I'm old!) and a size 8 today is what I would have worn then. I don't know, I just can't fathom it. But I really think that the best thing for me is actually not to set goals. I need to make this be about the journey, not the destination. Every time I've set a destination it's felt like a punishment. Maybe this time I should just keep score and Celebrate the milestones and achievements, but otherwise just do the surgery (still three weeks out), stick with the program, live at the gym, and see what happens.

@@Alex Brecher, I can't figure out how to request a new forum and subforums. There are no monthly forums for 2015 yet (http://www.bariatricpal.com/forum/785-monthly-gastric-bypass-surgery-support-groups/), though we're just a few weeks away from the new year. I am having surgery on January 6 (yay!), and am eager to connect with others on the same timeline. It would be helpful to have more visibility into how to request admin support. Love this group. Very happy to be here.

I have the same question! I'm also having surgery on January 6th (Hi!!!), and would really like to start connecting with people on the same countdown. I posted this question on the main page of the 2014 forum and sent a PM to someone I think is an admin on the boards, but no response yet.

I agree with a lot of the sentiment here. My 30s were way better than my 20s and my 40s (so far) are way better than my 30s. Things that used to bother me just don't anymore. I am more centered. More grounded. Now if I could just lose that pesky 150 pounds, I'd be golden. Such a nuisance. ???? Around the time my husband turned 40, he announced a decision to start lying about his age. But rather than subtract years, he'd add them. Because he looks pretty good for 40, but amaaaaaazing for 50. And to think, this genius is all mine! ????

I'm trying to find out who is admin for these boards, as I'd like to request that a "2015" group with monthly subforums be set up. I am having surgery the first week of January and am eager to connect with people on the same schedule. Any guidance?

Four years ago when I asked in passing, my primary care physician said she would not support surgery for me. Once I got serious about it, though, she changed her mind. I think the fact that I have developed co-morbid conditions (diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.) made a difference, as did my firm resolve to proceed. I went straight to the bariatric surgery program (which happens to be within the same clinic / health care system) and started working with them directly. Once I'd made the decision to proceed, she supported me with a letter of recommendation. My insurance was a breeze. The surgeon was the one with the requirements - nutrition counseling, pre-tests, psych eval, letter of support, classes / seminars, evidence of long-term weight problem (5+ years), etc. I'm glad he made me jump through the hoops because it made me more prepared for surgery next month.

Hi Sharon, I appreciate your hesitation and concern. I am having surgery in January after more than a year of educating myself, considering alternatives, and preparing. For the first several months I wasn't firmly decided one way or the other, but I just put one foot in front of the other assuming that the answer would be clear to me at some point. And then it was. For me, the clarity came from co-morbidities (diabetes, high blood pressure... the usual suspects) and the fact that my size made it too difficult to actually exercise. Like you, I had knee pain and back pain and poor cardio health. This meant that the "... and exercise" part of "just diet and exercise" wasn't an option, which was just too much. I am having surgery to jump-start the process of achieving optimium health. It's not the end of the journey, but the beginning. And personally, I don't see how I could get there without the initial push. There's a great book I recommend called "Obesity Surgery: Stories of Altered Lives" by Marta Meana. She and her coauthor did very deep interviews with a couple of dozen surgery patients and their stories really helped me think through many issues related to this choice. So that's my perspective, but your mileage may vary. I wish you all the best with this difficult decision. Amy

Good morning! I am Amy and I joined a few days ago. I got approval from insurance yesterday morning and scheduled surgery for 1/6. After more than a year of prep, shit is suddenly starting to get very very real. And that's good, I want this, but it's still anxiety-provoking. I'm 42 years old and live in Wisconsin. I've been gaining weight slowly but surely most of my life, more pounds each year, until I hit a tipping point. I have had sleep apnea for 14 years (or longer for all I know), have mildly high blood pressure, mildly high cholesterol, and mild diabetes that is sure to get worse over time. Almost as much as the health issues, I just find myself unable to do the things I enjoy. I love to travel and am finding it harder and harder to tolerate long flights and long days of exploring new and interesting places. I am taking my mom to Peru at the end of April and am very much looking forward to being able to wander around Machu Picchu with just a little more ease. Or a lot more ease. I'm still not sure how quickly to expect things to change but I'll be 3.5 months post-surgery and expect to have more energy already. I made the decision to pursue gastric bypass more than a year ago, but I needed to wait. And wait. I'm a working professional with a good job, and for the past 18 months I've also been working through a full-time Executive MBA program. Taking time off work for recovery is not a problem, but the school schedule is intense with no breaks and no ability to miss even a single class. I am graduating this Saturday 12/6, and will have surgery exactly one month later. For the past month or so I've started reading all the books I can get my hands on, including the one by this site's founders. I've also been focused on identifying and addressing the emotional and mental issues that have led me to this point, and of course there's books for that too. There's books for everything. Like many people I am caught up in the immediate issues - who do I tell? what do I say? - but also the longer-term issues like what if I fail at this desperate hail mary play and don't get better? I'll have a lot more to say on the boards as I progress. For now, just wanted to introduce myself. Glad to be here. Glad you are too.

OMG you're insane! LOL.

I'm getting hit with reality big-time. I've been hemming and hawing and working through the prep process for more than a year, and finally got approval and scheduled surgery yesterday. Now it's only a month away and I'm sort of freaking out. I scheduled it exactly when I wanted it (first week of January - 1/6) and when I planned it, but somehow having that actual date on the calendar has brought everything into very sharp focus.

Yesterday afternoon, I scheduled my surgery for January 6. It's been more than a year leading up to this, and all of a sudden things are getting very real. My concerns: 1) Recovery time. The magic google machine says I should expect to go back to work in 2-3 weeks. My surgeon's office says 6-8 weeks. That's a big difference. I am probably starting a new job (at my same company) on January 1 and I hate to leave them for 2 months immediately after accepting the position, but I really want to focus on new habits and getting healthy and I only have one shot to get it right the first time, so I'm worried. You can tell when I'm worried because my sentences run on and on and on. 2) What if I fail? Since I've failed at every other attempt to lose weight over the past 30+ years, why should this be any different? My need to be fat seems to be very persistent across time and space and circumstance. What if I can't beat it? 3) Who do I tell? I tend to be an open book - sometimes a bit too open - so it would be consistent with my personality to tell everyone everywhere what I'm doing. But I feel very fragile about this topic and am trying to be a bit more reserved in general so maybe I should just keep this to myself until I can't anymore. 4) I blame my weight for a lot of things, from petty disappointments to major issues, but what if my live is not magically better when I'm smaller and I have to deal with my actual limitations and not just knee-jerk blame my size? That'll be a good thing in the end, but could make for some rough adjustments. My excitement is: 1) My health is going to improve! I have no critical issues, but lots of things that could go bad quickly, and this should address all of them. 2) I'm going to be able to travel and be active and move my body the way I want to. I can't wait to have a body that obeys my wishes. That's enough for me for now. Geez, ramble much?

Scheduled surgery yesterday for January 6. It's a bit freak-inducing to have it be so concrete and so soon after so much waiting and deliberating. It's going to be an interesting month.

I have been in the prep phase for over a year, and am finally reaching the finish line. I work full-time and have been enrolled in an intensive full-time MBA program, so I didn't think I could handle the life-changing recovery and habit replacement at the same time as juggling school and work. But I graduate on Saturday (yay!) and my medical team submitted to my insurance 2 weeks ago. I'm assuming their response has been delayed by the Thanksgiving holiday and all the other people rushing to get procedures done by the end of the year, but I am still sitting by the phone willing it to ring with the approval. My parents are coming to town for my graduation this weekend, and I'd planned to tell them about surgery plans over dinner on Saturday. I expect my dad will be supportive and my mother will need a lot of hand-holding. But I don't want to tell them about it until everything is a sure thing, so the clock is ticking (ticking ticking ticking) this week waiting for an answer. I am taking my mother to Peru for an adventure vacation in April, so I really want to have surgery as soon as possible so I can be relatively stable with diet by April. We're going on this trip for her 65th birthday, and she's never left the country before, so I want to make sure she has a good experience. I don't have any questions, just needed to get some of this off my chest and outta my head. I'm new to the group and am very glad it's here.

Wallace is my surgeon for bypass on January 6. I'd love to know how anyone's experience was with him and the team.

There's also a group that meets out of Froedert and the Medical College of Wisconsin. They meet the last Monday of every month, though the next meeting isn't until January now. 2015 details haven't been published yet, but you should be able to find them here soon: https://www.froedtert.com/creg/default.aspx?id=296&CWFriendlyURLApp=true&categoryid=23&sslRedirect=true

Thank you for your support, Mommabird and Melody Siracusa. The phone finally rang! The surgeon's office just called with the happy news that insurance approval came in this morning. YIPPEE! Hoping to still hear today with my surgery date, but at least this particular worry is resolved. [side note: Melody, I love your icon! I have that same image hanging on my wall at work!]

Just joined the group today. I'm in Milwaukee. Planning surgery at Froedert sometime in the next 2 months - just waiting to schedule at this point. Very glad to be here (physically, virtually, metaphorically).