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accidentalarmor

Pre Op
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  1. accidentalarmor

    Begin.Again.

    Let me just say this first: If I read this two years ago, I would have had second thoughts about having the surgery. Having had the surgery, I don't regret having it- at all. This story is mine, and I'm ok with it. When I had my surgery I was 336lbs. I am 5'6" and at the time I was 29 years old. That was 2012. Today, I weigh 260lbs. In October of 2013, I got to my lowest weight of 210lbs. Gaining weight was never a fear, not losing was a fear. Gaining back 50lbs has been a nightmare. I have a million reasons for how the weight gain happened. That feeling, that nagging hungry/craving feeling returned in August 2013, I got married, moved and started a new high stress job. I felt exposed at 210lbs, I was afraid to get smaller. I was not sure how to handle being "not fat". It's all crap. Here is the truth, I'm a food addict with a super dysfunctional relationship with my weight and my body. The sleeve, it didn't fix my head, and I didn't either. What this surgery taught me is what behaviors help me to lose weight. I have a powerful tool and I know how to lose. Today, I begin again. I worked out today, drank Water, ate high Protein & very low carb, and I planned my food and tracked my intake. I told on myself about my addiction (you all) and I held myself accountable. I know if I do this, I will lose. I'm a food addict. One day down. Tomorrow: Begin. Again.

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