ridingrae

Well, i am still working semi-hard. it was a tough 5 days for me. after losing my dad, we had his headstone placed this past friday and had a very ugly reality check hit me. up until now that grave was just a spot. now it's where my dad is. very surreal.
so i had an UGLY episode of stress eating and just complete failure, but i recognize it and continue onward. i found these Atkins drinks plus a few new Protein options my NUT told me about- i'll post that in another thread.
So just putting my hand out for anybody here who needs some support, or a lift upward, or just someone to listen. i get it, i'm going through it too.

This thread is exactly what I've been looking for here and anywhere on the web. I've not had any regain, and I'm only going on 6 months out, but that ugly demon of hand to mouth disease that I had is rearing its ugly head again. I discovered there are foods I can eat and not really limit because they do not make my pouch feel overly full. Unfortunately the foods are things like crackers, pretzel thins, Goldfish crackers, popsicles...The popsicles are low calorie and low carb, but I eat alot of them at one time. I don't know what is wrong with me! I went through all this to improve my health and I'm falling into bad habits already! When I quit smoking 2-1/2 years ago, I put the cigarettes down after almost 40 years of smoking and never looked back. Why can I not do that with eating?
So, today I've decided I've got to recommit myself to this new lifestyle and continue on with my journey. I have rid the house of all crackers, and pretzels and anything else that I know I should not eat or snack on. I have not gained weight, but I've also stalled for quite a while now and I need to continue with the weight loss. I have at least 50-70 more pounds to go, and I've lost 50 so far. I need to accomplish what I set out to do with this surgery, and by God, I'm going to achieve it.
Any suggestions would be appreciated. I sometimes feel like I cannot control myself and find I fight inside my head about eating the foods that are there in the house even though I'm not hungry. This is the issue I had before as well. Fortuntely the major health issue I had was my uncontrollable diabetes that is now under great control. However, I'm still using some insulin and would like to get off that completely. I've backed way down on what I used to use, and am very pleased about that. If 50 lbs has me where I'm only using insulin for basal, and have lowered that amount twice, imagine if I lost another 50 lbs! I could quite possibly get off of insulin!
I'm returning to basics this week; making sure I'm getting in the highest amount of Protein for me, drinking my liquids, and eating just Protein and veggies. I have been exercising most days, so I'm not too concerned about that. It's the eating that needs to be controlled. I need to get my mind off food!
Really happy for this thread. Thanks for suggesting it mi75, and Thanks Alex for creating it!!!

Saw my new dietitian. Loved her. She was very down to earth, very straight forward and direct. Loved that.
I told her about the questions that my trainer has, as far as supplements and such post workout.
She made some small changes in her recommendations for Protein, and changed my Protein powder to a different one that contains extra amino acids for post workout. She also increased my daily protein a bit and increased my carbs a bit.
Tomorrow I have my first session with my new lifting trainer, SO excited!!!
I'm back. HERE I AM!!

Well, I PM'ed Alex just two short days ago asking him to consider a regain forum, and well, here we are!
He asked me to start the first thread.
So here goes...
I am 27 months post op and have gained 20 lbs from my lowest. I have had a massive personal loss (stress eating) and took a night position that I LOVE (but snack all night) so 20 lbs and here I am.
Plan:
1. Came back to bariatric pal and owned my gain. admitted to it and moved forward.
2. Seeing a new doc and nut next week. Changed insurance due to job change and have an incredible new clinic/doc/nut and getting established with them wednesday.
3. Started 5 day Pouch Test and trying to re-learn restriction.
4. Found the coordinator of the support group associated with my new doc. called the coordinator. announced myself. now they are expecting me, so I have to go and face it.
5. ordered Slim in 6 program from Beachbody since i have not exercised like I should in a LONG time so that's a pretty mellow start.
6. bought all sorts of proteins-new flavor shakes, Soups, Quest Cookies and Cream bars etc because variety will keep me going.
So...there it is. My truth. I have gained. Yes, I have regained. But through the loss of my dad, my grief, a new career path I am in love with, and learning how to balance a night job with my eating I have also regained perspective.
I regained some weight. Now I regain control. Then I regain my life.

Brenda, kudos to you for recommitting. Don't hate yourself, it happens to many, including myself. I am sure you have heard this before, but weight loss surgery is a tool, not a magical cure. During the "honeymoon" phase, we tend to forget that because the weight just seems to melt off. But, for long-term, sustainable results, we need to really learn proper nutrition and healthy eating habits. I live with a certified nutritionist, and still didn't get that part! I gained back 50 pounds. But, now, with following proper, healthy eating habits and tracking every single bite that goes in my mouth, I too am back on track.
I get the part about the clear head, calm and being in control again. It is really a great feeling, isn't it? You can do this. We can do this, especially with the wonderful support from our friends here on BariatricPal.

I am 4 years post op. Never got to goal (went from 297to 206). Then gained back 40 over the past couple of years. Just hate myself for it. Felt so broken and like such a failure.
Started a modified 5dpt last Sunday. Walking on treadmill every day for 20 minutes (its a start) and keeping calories under 900 but being sure to get in more than the minimum Protein.< /p>
I feel so clear headed, calm and in control again.
Down 12lb, but just feel better.
Brenda Y

I had an excellent therapist once who thought that almost all food issues were inextricably linked to sex and intimacy.
This is an outstanding personal essay that really resonates with me.
What do you think?
http://hazlitt.net/feature/hunger-makes-me

Hooray!!! I'm back on my bike and it feels awesome!! I rode around for 3 hours today in the Miami Heat and humidity and am alive to post it!
There are millions of mangos down here and I have become a pro at "accidentally" dropping my hat in people's yards (the best ones are always there) and when i retrieve my hat there is always a mango or two in it. It's magic I'm telling you!
I'm so glad I had this surgery. What a gift to my knees and my overall well being. Hope everyone else is having a similar journey with their favorite sport and fruit.   
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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So It's been a little over a year since I started my weight loss journey and 9 months since surgery. I realized I've been neglecting a few things lately and I need to get back on track.
1) Water - I'm nowhere near my 64 oz I should be getting in. I have been drinking more Decaf coffee and with that comes 1/2 and 1/2. Going to limit myself to two cups a day - one in the AM and one in the evening. For some reason I like drinking coffee at night...it feels like a "snack" and helps me with avoiding munching in front of the TV.
2) Vitamins - I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW....something I need to get better at. I have not been able to get this into my daily routine. I'm good some days and not good the others. I just need to do it. End of story. They tend to make me sick and I got out of the habit.
3) Weighing/measuring/tracking - I've been eyeballing portions and I haven't been tracking. Again - I just need to do it.
4) Exercise - I've committed to exercising and I've been going to Zumba twice a week and Yoga 1x a week. I was doing really well ramping up my walking outside and then the weather changed and it turned COLD/RAINY BLAH BLAH BLAH (excuses excuses) and I haven't been getting in as many steps. I have a treadmill I could've used it but I didn't. I let myself use the excuse that it was cold, I was cold, it was rainy etc. to not get in any additional walking per week. I need to ramp up my exercise in order to lose this last 22lbs!
I have 13 weeks until my 1 YEAR FOLLOW UP with the Surgeon and my NUT. I would like to be 175 lbs by that date. My ultimate goal is still 165....but if I could get to 175 by that 8/23 appointment I would be happy! That's another 12 lbs.... I can do it!

I think what you're feeling is perfectly normal. There have been times, even newly post-op, where I thought, "What did I do to myself?" Those feelings subsided after the first 6 months or so and at 2.5 years out, I don't have them any more.
You can always get support here. Your local hospital may have a support group (even if you didn't get surgery there). You are not alone.
Here's what I know 2.5 years out - my life is so much better. I do not regret this decision at all - there were times when I was having an emotional moment that I wished I could sit down to a big bowl of Pasta and go to town. There were times I wanted to eat an entire baguette of bread. There were times I wanted chocolate cake. But my sleeve was there for me - it didn't allow me to sabotage myself.
My new normal is splitting a meal with my husband. Eating a hamburger without the bun. I still drink Protein shakes. But, I also allow some treats - a small bowl of ice cream, a cookie, a muffin, etc. But I don't crave them like I used to. I'm OK with my new normal.
Hang in there, kid. You're going to be on an emotional roller coaster for the foreseeable future. It's going to be hard. Keep your eye on the prize, though. It will be so worth it!

How many times have I said OK I need to start over? How many times have I told myself just one more time…and then I’ll start again?
How many times have I committed to recommitting? How many times have I told myself that I will write down every single thing that goes in my mouth? How many times have I told myself I WILL go to the gym today?
How many times have I found myself feeling guilty because of my perceived failure?
I go through these things and more too many times to count. My weight, my surgery, the scale, the gym, food they are always on my mind. When I wake up in the morning I think I need to get a weight today so I know where I am….that’s what’s going to tell me and help me get on track! So I go about my morning routine and the scale shines from the corner waiting for my feet to step up and weigh in but I have just one more thing to do…and I walk past the scale and escape into the next room.
I have defeated the siren call of the scale yet again! Sometimes, I drink coffee and think well now that’s not a “true” weight I just drank fluids! (Really?!) I have to go to the bathroom so weighing in will be better after that elimination of extra weight. (Really?!) Oops I just got dressed for the day including my socks and shoes and I can’t get on the scale now…that’s just too much extra weight and you know…you have to weigh with the least amount of clothing…and my scale needs bare feet and it’s cold and on and on and on…..
I sit at work and my smart watch tells me it’s time to stand…it might as well read “the beatings shall commence”. It starts with the guilt trip, why didn’t you get that weigh in this morning?! It’s been weeks…and you don’t know where you are, and you need to know that. (Really?) Why are you sitting so much..you should be getting up and being more active! You should bring your gym bag in and get your butt down to the gym! (The side commentary often replies with the standard “it’s January and all the resolutioners are in the gym, working out so they can pretend they are keeping their New Year resolution to get healthy. They are clogging things up and you can’t get in there with all that going on!” Really?!) and the beating continues as I guilt myself throughout the day.
I make the “healthy” food choices and for the most part when I am eating “food” I try to make sure I make the healthier choice steering clear of the fatty fried foods, eating my Protein and drinking my Water. So what’s my problem? My problem is that I am perfectionist. It’s all or nothing for me, and either way I have to do it to perfection!
If I have a bad day…well it has to be the badest of bad days. Complete with not only with lack of exercise, but forgetting to take my Vitamins, and consuming lots of all kinds of sugary Desserts. If you’re going to be bad might as well eat the ice cream and chocolate and forget the chicken breast right?!
If I am having good day well you know its perfect right? I wake up and the birds are chirping and the sun is shining and all is right in my world. My feet hit the floor and I can’t wait to step on the scale to see how wonderful I am and what a success I am! (Usually this is where the fantasy begins and ends)
On these days it’s the middle of the road for me. Reality has woken me up and given me that cosmic 2x4 womp upside my head and for a minute the obsessing stops. It’s not about what I did or didn’t do. It’s not about what I ate, but more about what I will do and what I will eat.
I don’t need to beat myself into submission to be perfect, I just need to live for this. Right here right now this very moment. I need to stop. Just stop, and be present. Right here right now. Nothing more and nothing less.
Yes some of those moments are going to be “bad” ones and some are going to be “good” ones. All that really matters is the reality of all of these moments. I don’t have to dwell on the past or the future I just have to live in the now.
It’s really all I am capable of these days. I don’t know what it is in me that strives for this “perfection” it is now and has been a flaw of mine. While it is true that in many ways it helps me strive to learn and grow and better myself, and it is also true that in many ways it holds me back and limits me, and it will even sabotage my success, when I let it (or use it as an excuse!).
I will look at my weight loss to date and I say I have ONLY lost….as though it is a negative. When I should be focusing on the fact that I have LOST that weight and it has not returned.
So today as I write this confession, and my smart watch is beeping at me to stand up and move around and I am taking that time to do just that and to look at it in a positive way. Not saying telling myself I am a failure for not getting to the gym today, but saying hooray you are moving more than you did before!
I am not going to beat myself up for sleeping later this morning, I am going to allow myself the extra Zzz because my body and my soul needed it. I am not going to beat myself up for not stepping on the scale this morning, instead I am going to commit to resetting the darn thing tonight and setting it up to move forward.
I am setting a reminder on my phone to prompt me to weigh in and take measurements and I am scheduling time for ME. Yes I am putting an actual appointment on the calendar to do things that I need to do for me. Including making lunch, getting to the gym, and having dinner out with friends. It’s important, and if I feel the perfection monster trying to sabotage me I’m going to come back here and refocus on the moment and get back to reality of being perfectly imperfect one moment at a time.

I can definately relate. I am 17 months out and have never gotten to goal. My loss came to a screeching halt around November. I refuse to think of myself as a failure, I am determined to get to goal, regardless how long it takes.
I recently met w/my bariatric team. They recommended:
1) get over 20 g of Fiber a day (I was only getting about five)
2) make sure 2 days a week I include strength training, ,even if it's only 10-15 minutes, as this will speed up my metabolism.
3) work out 5/6 days a week
4) log my food. Side note, I recently bought a Fitbit and love it. Both work together and help me remain accountable.
5) and of course the old bariatric saying, "Protein first".
Remaining hopeful & wishing you success.

Go back to basics. Do a mini preop/liquid/puree/soft food over the next week or two. This will not only help you clean all the crap out of your system, it will stop your cravings, maybe tighten up your restriction a bit, and give you a mental reset back to when this journey began. Find pictures of yourself preop. Do you want to go there again? What motivated you to have surgery in the first place? Find that old motivation
And the best way to accomplish these things and get your head back in the game is to get help. You had a surgeon "fix" your stomach, now you need a mental health professional to help you "fix" your head. The latter is a much harder task than the former, and most people can't do it on their own.

It is so true that falling back into old habits sneaks up on you. Over the past two months I got lazy about recording food and regular exercise. This caused a 3lb gain. My concern was not the weight gain but more of allowing old habits to sneak in.
Instead of beating myself up I am acknowledging that this is part of the process and got back on my plan as of Monday. This is a journey not a destination! No one is perfect! I still have achieved amazing results due to hard work!!

Today was my one year check up with my surgeon. I have lost 95% of my excess body weight. He is super proud of my accomplishments. He said I am in the top 10% of surgery patients for weight loss in 1 year. I also got the speech about maintaining and keeping up my good habits ! I have never regretted my surgery. I have not had any complications and have had a great amount of support during the process.
My stats:
Weight: 294 Now: 135
Size: 4x/28 Now xs-s/4
I literally couldn't run to my mailbox this time last year and now I am training for a half marathon and compete at least once a month in a 5K or 10K. I do zumba, lift weights, and have energy to play with my daughter. Life is good!

I hope this comes off as inspirational and not bragging
I had sleeve surgery March 31, 2015. So almost a year already! I started at 232 and today was 131.6!!!!! My goal was 150. I'm 5'3" and 45 yrs old.
I was an athlete at 200 so that plays a big role in my success I think. But mainly, I just follow the rules. I still struggle with hydration. Had my first blood work since surgery and everything was perfect! So proud of that because it shows I'm doing things right as far as my Vitamin routine and Protein goals go.
You can do it, too! It isn't always easy but I like being thin. I do struggle A LOT with body image issues, confusion about my size and feeling like I'm disappearing, but it's just another part of the process.
Thanks for listening and your support!!!
It's a whole new world. My dreams are all coming true.
Rachel

My obsessins are a short list:
coffee
Sex
Getting more healthy
Sex
Good nutrition
Sex

Cocaine and hookers...
Oh wait...
Never mind...

Just keep going and trust it'll happen. No one noticed mine for 50lbs!!! All of a sudden your clothes will hang off and people won't recognize you and you'll be excited about your success.

Just keep going and trust it'll happen. No one noticed mine for 50lbs!!! All of a sudden your clothes will hang off and people won't recognize you and you'll be excited about your success.

Gum.

Just keep going and trust it'll happen. No one noticed mine for 50lbs!!! All of a sudden your clothes will hang off and people won't recognize you and you'll be excited about your success.

Gum.

Gum.