I'm sorry to hear about your losses. I can understand your hesitation and desire not to upset your son. Good luck on your journey and with talking with your son.
I'm scheduled for December 26th. My husband knows but I haven't told the kids yet (Ages 14,13 and 10). I don't want to worry them before it is necessary but I'm going to have to have a talk with them before I start the pre-op diet.