OKCPirate

As a single man, I am very interested in knowing what women are attracted to, and what repulses them (so I don't do that). What I am hoping to share and learn from others is research that you discovered that might help other single guys know what women want. This also might be helpful to the married guys who want to keep their wives happy. Please post any findings you have here, I am always trying to learn. I also posted some tips on online dating on the "books relating to relationships...food or bad genes from a potential spouse were successful in passing their gene's forward. Some manifestations today: morning sickness during the first trimester when ever they smell something that potentially harm the baby they puke to get rid of the germs. It's easy for single guys to vege out and not worry about taking a shower when they aren't going out, but bacteria grows and the smelly residue is noticed unconsciously by women though it is not noticed by guys. In the first few seconds of meeting you a women's brain unconsciously looks for subtle clues to your general health: shoulder to hip ratio, symmetry of the body/face and will notice subtle odors guys can't smell. Women might not decide to say yes to a date in the first few seconds, but they will make a "no way" decision within the four seconds. Once you get the the "no way" moniker it's tough to overcome it. Give yourself a chance to meet the future Mrs. Right by washing up everyday. Note - attempts to cover lack of daily showers with Polo or Axe colones work with some, but many women are on to that and are consciously repulsed by those smells.

I have been having an ongoing discussion with a self-styled Social Justice Warrior type of Facebook. I posted this on my page, but because my page isn't public, I'm afraid I might not get a wide enough perspective. Strangely, the current flap on Bariatric Pal vis-a-vis the banning of a contributor kind of triggered the thoughts. Please feel free to comment: Should you dump a FB friend who is a bigot? Before you answer so quick, I'm talking about anti-intellectual left/Social Justice Warrior bigots. I'm noticing a bad trend where people are embracing their victimhood, which gives them justification for violence and rejection of facts because reality doesn't sync with their feelings. I don't want to live in an echo chamber world where only one side talks to others of like mind. There are facts and perspective which can be legitimately different. Honest discussion can expand understanding of all parties. But when one side has an attitude of entitlement because of perceived victimhood, all they have is name calling which results in the dehumanization of their opponent. The most extream results of this were seen by the Communists, the greatest mass murders of the past century. Anyone who disagreed with the party line was an enemy of the state and needed "re-education" and then sent to forced labor camps, or were just simply killed for having their own thoughts. This goes back to the original question. By unfriending or just ignoring the idiocy and other passive responses are we hastening the end of real discourse?

Browse around and I think you will see it is a VERY bad idea. Should be avoided until you make goal and are solidly into maintenance. You have invested thousands of dollars and time to get this done, don't F it up. However you are an adult.

@@xoxococojay - two years out, I drink Water like I used to (actually happened by month 3 or 4. I still can't eat anything bread like without being really careful to really chew it up. There is something about stuff that just crams up in the sleeve. But I eat everything else, just much less. I also eat better quality stuff because when you only eat 4 ounces at a time...you can. Only downside if you can call it one is you are forever going to be getting doggie bags when you eat out unless you stick to a small appetizer.

I didn't know the PM's were visible, though I should have thought so. I hope those do stay deleted. Some were very personal (hence they were "private") and some downright salacious. I have one out to Dub, and I'll delete that tomorrow and stick to using PM to see if someone wants to exchange email addresses to carry on private conversations.

Minimized/ignored them the first two months. But when I started heavier workouts the NUT was very insistent that I start adding steel cut oatmeal to my plan. I track, and make sure it is a distant third in my caloric profile. But I really am adamant in avoiding white flower.

Alex, I am a big believer in private property, and you invested time/money/talent creating a working site such as this, I do considerate "private property" not public domain. So, I do respect your right to make editorial decisions. That said phrases like "safe spaces" in the current political/cultural environment are now "trigger" words to me. (Ironic I'm using that verbiage). It does leave a very bad taste in my mouth. One of the most endearing parts of this online community was the frank adult discussion on a wide variety of topics. That's probably what has brought me back here more often than I really should. As a whole, I have found the conversations to be of higher than average quality. It is always interesting getting the perspective of people worldwide, as well as those from NYC and major metropolitan areas and the handful of us in flyover country. I have always had two reasons for actively taking part in this community...first was to try and give back and help others because I sure needed it early on. Second was the wealth of knowledge I would not have ever found on my own because I would not have known what to Google. I'll keep an eye open, to see if this place is still worth my time. Frankly, I have enjoyed the tough love comments and while I am not looking for drama, I've never seen anything excessive. There are plenty of other boards which I have been part of that have more than their share of trolls, but this one has not been one to my way of thinking. Since I am not privy to the PM's I have no idea of what is so bothersome, but I really have enjoyed the contributions of those who have been banned and that is why I am publically offering a sincere wish you would reconsider. But as I said this is your project and investment.

@@Cander - this is the first election I can remember where the vast majority would have gone with a none of the above option.

@@LittleBill - I was in Seatle with my daughters, and I found a cool AirB&B in Jimmy Hendrix's old neighborhood. This poor lady was terrified that some big old red neck looking guy from Oklahoma was going to be, I think she envisioned every worst case stereotype. It was hilarious when she left her comment when we left of "maybe we should get to really know people before judging them." Sigh, people do need to get out of their echo chambers.

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch - You brought up a valid point, which I was not focused on. And that is the value of honest discussion.

@@Odie - I'm not a Trump apologist by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm getting a little tired of the vitriol against him before he has even taken office. As Bill Maher has observed, the left is now kicking itself for being so hard on McCain because they are stuck with the same rhetoric they used on him as they do with Trump. They should have kept their powder dry. As with all politician, there are some things I like, other things I don't, but I would like to get a sense of his policies and proposals without vitriol and certainly without violence. And I'm with you on the racism and bigotry, but what got my attention in my attempt at discussion with this person on FB was she was making riduculous asertions, I posted some facts. She claimed her feelings trumped facts because as a white, heterosexual and CIS male, any facts I presented were irrelevant. That to me is racism. I would be appalled at anyone who ignored truth because it was spoken by someone of color. Apparently mentioning that such a statement was bigotry is a trigger. Who knew?

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch - that's fair, Red-Neck-Right and Social Justice Warriors are two sides of the same coin. They are both highly anti-intellectual and spout someone else's bumper sticker pablum.

I know Alex and B-52 and others have had success with lap-bands, but I also keep hearing about people who have had them and the initial restriction helped them lose weight, they eventually gained it back. And that makes sense to me as more and more evidence comes out showing sleeves and gastric-bypass are much more than restrictions. At some point, they might figure out that it is hormonal surgery. There are diabetics who are off their meds more quickly than people who were losing the equivalent amount of weight. Well, how long this hormonal effect last? The Cleveland Clinic Study is showing it works for at least five years...https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/04/160404152903.htm I am going to make a hypothesis based on this study: just because your honeymoon period (the first 6-8 months post surgery) is over, you can still get the benefits of WLS a couple of years out. I keep wondering if the reason I was losing so quick up front is because I was really mindful for the first few months. And yes I was really excited too. But like many, I slacked off. The very real restrictions in my stomach/sleeve have made it easier to maintain, but I can restart my weight loss. I posted about how my view of how I see my body has changed over the last 18 months (http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/386931-who-dat/), and I'm about ready to start a rather intense six-week program this week designed to jump start weight loss. It should be interesting because the diet looks like what I was eating on week five following my surgery, only this time with more intense exercise. In short, I'm really excited, but also I'm looking at this as a follow-up experiment. I feel like I did when my post-surgery restrictions ended and the weight loss journey really began. I've sort of beat myself up mentally for not being as diligent as I could have been, but I've been putting some of the techniques from this article into practice: http://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/03/well/mind/the-year-of-conquering-negative-thinking.html?ribbon-ad-idx=5&rref=health&module=Ribbon&version=origin&region=Header&action=click&contentCollection=Health&pgtype=article. I embraced what I did and didn't do. I believe it is possible to have multiple second chances. If I'm right, my sleeve is still a great tool, even 2.2 years out. I'd love to hear from others who lost their focus but came back years later to finish what they started when they had their surgery.

I had mine done in Mexico (I flew to El Paso), and I had no problem. But it depends on many factors, such as your overall health etc.

@@Maidenhaze - that would drive me nuts, though I do enjoy my walks more that HITT training. I wish you a speedy recovery following your next procedure.

Dude you are looking good. And yes it stinks to be full of energy and to be sidelined with an injury. If you can find a place and get your metabolic rate checked and make sure you are getting adequate calories to make sure it doesn't slip too low.

@@Malin - The Mexican government finally caved to the US government and their war to keep us from exercising autonomy over our own bodies and much of the stuff you could buy in Mexico OTC is gone. I'm not that I'm bitter or anything.

@@xoxococojay - That is the best title for a post I've ever seen. heheheheheheheehehe

@@jenn1 - just quietly protesting in my own way

@@Odie - Well they are not as bad as the "social justice warriers" I seem to run into on FB who just can't take a joke. It's like Mr. Hugh Mungus...

@@jenn1 - Congrats on the upcoming marathon, which one is it? Don't blame you for wanting to cut weight before...I think the force on the knees is 5-12 times your weight when you run. Good luck on both projects.

@@WitchySar - Check out this egg white smoothie. I swear it tastes great, just be sure to use pasteurized egg whites... http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/387630-egg-white-smoothie/

@@ShinyLady - fresh baby spinage. I'm not sure that is important. It is for the plan I am on (I need a half a cup in the morning).