OKCPirate

@@Babbs - not hardly, I'm the VERY lucky one.

@@hollybower - I'm with Babbs. Separate for a season if you must, but everyone I know went through great angst making the decision to have surgery and were really tense the week before. So this is the advice I give to candidates (I'm a political consultant by profession) before they decide to run. You are about to enter a time of great change. There will be sleepless nights. Your diet will radically alter. Because of the stress you will rapidly lose nearly 25-50 IQ points. I hope you will have enough at the end to keep a pulse going. Because of this you may not: Buy or sell a business Buy or sell real-estate You will not marry, divorce or start a new relationship Get all affairs in order before you throw your hat in the ring. You do not have the band width to make life changing decisions. I think the advice applies here too. Don't know you, but based on my experience, I think it's true.

@@TealSister - My thoughts are with you. Those are tough issues. You might get some hope from the book. Especially Chapter 5 which deals with healing old wounds with new loves. It is the most interesting scholarly book on romantic love I've ever read. NOTE TO GUYS - umm, this isn't a sappy chick book.

@@Miss Mac - great story and since I am beginning this new adventure in my life at 52 (and BTW, so is my new girl friend) particularly interesting. I do let her control the temps, I can adjust clothing, she can't adjust a post menopausal internal thermostat.

@@OutsideMatchInside - I told my girl friend rather early. She's a sharp cookie and read up on it and has good insights. She appreciates why I did it and thankfully the end results.

@@VSGAnn2014 - (This one is the capper, because not everyone can do this ....) Is capable of trusting and loving another person and being loved and trusted by another person. I do think some people's development was arrested early on by how they were raised or they were traumatized by life events and they just can't trust or love others again. I agree. It has been the hardest thing to relearn after a bitter end to my 21 year marriage. But keep telling myself to man up and be vulnerable. That takes courage.

BTW the best book I could find on the subject: http://www.amazon.com/Mapping-Terrain-Heart-Tenderness-Capacity/dp/1568217900 If you have not really thought about "what do you do when you actually meet someone" this may be a source of thought and inspiration.

I do mine in the crockpot, freeze it in muffin tins to create small individual serving sizes and use it for breakfast. I started adding it in about eight weeks post surgery when I was ramping up exercise.

@@phatfatgirl that is it

And I found mine, time to hide my dating profile on Match.com.

Ladies, I know I am in the lounge, but I just felt compelled to contribute...It's the upper thigh skin for me. I was enjoying some intimate time with my girl friend and the sound of that extra skin (whap, whap) just embarrassed me to death. It's got to go. She doesn't mind the aesthetics, but I can't stand the sound. It's just not me anymore. Spanx wont take care of it in the bedroom. Don't know if anyone else has had this problem but it sucks.

@@Dub - thanks for bringing up this topic. I'm about to hit my one year anniversary and I'm realizing that I really killed my mattress when I was 100 pounds heavier. I've been looking at new ones and this is helpful. When I had a compressed disk, my physical therapist convinced me to learn to sleep on my side with a pillow between my legs to reduce stress on my back. it took a little while, but I finally relearned how to sleep. Occasionally when I throw caution to the wind and sleep on my back or stomach I pay for it the next morning. So I will tell you it is possible to learn how to sleep in a new position. That said, I was at one of my old girlfriends place and her temperpidic bed was great. So I would suggest before reinvesting in a new mattress, check and see it changing sleeping posture works. If not, then a sleep number might be better. I used to have one and the pillow top version was great. That's why I go to Hilton Garden Inns exclusivity when traveling (if you didn't know, they have them in every room, and as a 50+ year old who travels a great deal, any extra expense is worth it)

@@Memouse -- yes I am, so far, so good. Dissolves well, and no noticeable hair loss nor other problems associated with low Protein levels.

I agree with all of this. Look, if you are dating a woman after child birth, expect stretch marks. Crap any woman after 40 is going to show signs of gravity. (In fairness look at how far a guys balls are down the side of his thighs). http://www.cc.com/video-clips/ge1zug/stand-up-daniel-tosh--work-of-art

@@jenn1 - I'm 52, I'm a jeans and t-shirt guy except in the summer when I switch to cargo shorts. Unless I'm teaching you can't make me wear a tie http://pictures.match.com/pictures/44/51/204604451X.jpeg So while I'm happy and will Celebrate with the ladies who are enjoying their boots and sweater dresses, you are probably going to have to check with the 20 something guys to get fashion pics

@@jenn1 - Happy birthday, and sorry you don't just look "nice" you really look HOT!!! Enjoy.

@@Miss Mac - Great experiment and great story. @@CowgirlJane - I always wondered about the missed connections, but who knows, it might work. Just meet at a public place during the day time. It would be cool if it worked out.

@ - Yep, very real temptation. My January through May was filled with many romps. However none were in the context of a committed relationship. But soon you will be facing the prospects of many PAP smears, HPV will raise its ugly head and you should be looking into getting the vaccine for the worst types. And at some point you should get some time away and figure out what you want. Really. Long term. There is a limit to how long promiscuity will make you feel alive. It is almost like heroin, nicotine and cocaine...at some point the thrill diminishes and you start an icky slide looking to get the thrill you used to have. I'm not judging, I'm just kind of a voice of warning. If this becomes less and less of a thrill, and yet you are still looking for the next big fix, time to step back and reassess. You may already be at that point. I'm not a 12 step person who thinks abstinence is the only answer to any addiction, I'm more of a aware moderation person. Minimize harm. There are groups of "polys" (polygamous couples) out in the world. They realize that they won't be satisfied with one person forever. But they keep it safe by keeping their roving to known people in their extended family. Google it. You might find a group you can settle down with.

In all honesty no. Have you ever considered yoga? It has really helped me regain balance in the post weight loss universe.

Yes I can relate. I had a dinner with a major presidential candidate three weeks following surgery. Oh this sucks. But I worked it out with the staff, "I only want soup" and they made it happen without fanfare. Life continued. It happens during the transition. it's OK.

@@kinkymoo, you are right, must have been tired....this is what I meant....http://goo.gl/lW0aHO. It doesn't need the follow up studies to adjust pressure.

Enjoy, I won't but my girl friend has signed me up for two in OKC, plus a stair climb up the biggest buildings in the city. The price I pay for dating someone who has done the Boston Marathon and is close to qualifying for the Kona triatholon

@@Bonnie_isgettingsleeved - Welcome to the community. If you need some inspiration, I recomend: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/195065-you-know-you-lost-weight-when/?hl=you%20know%20when%20you BTW, I really recommend you take a look at this: http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-First-Aid-Kit-Practical/dp/0976852659/ref=sr_1_13?ie=UTF8&qid=1436729032&sr=8-13&keywords=bariatric+book Never too early to start thinking about the emotional impact of this journey in all the areas of your life. Good luck.

@@MyKidsMom89 - congrats, we are the same age, I'm about to my one year sleveavercery and I'm now wearing the same size I did in high school and college. Tickled to death and doing things I have not done in decades. I'm glad I'm not the only one really enjoying this new season in life.