OKCPirate

Looking back, it taught me to be real to myself. I could get away with a great deal being a smart successful male. I could find dates. My personality and intelligence could get me over many obstacles that would stop many people in life. My life was fine in my mind. But I kept seeing little warning lights on my dashboard. I tried to start the C25K program and damn near crippled myself in the first week. I looked at all the things I was adding to my med list to mask the effects of being fat. I added blood pressure meds, cpap, new meds for gout, yadaydayada. It was getting expensive. And it was a downward spiral. When I saw just how my body was killing me to preserve the fat and how WLS was my best chance to get a do over, that gave me a great path forward. But it has also forced me to get real with myself. If forced me to look at the very real limitations I was self inflicting on myself, but was overcoming in the short term with little hacks, but ignoring (or denying) the bigger root cause. The spill over has been tremendous. When ever you start getting one area of your life in order you will get others back into balance. It always seems to work that way.

Do you see a NUT? Bring some food with you and have her/him watch your mechanics of eating. You might be overthinking.

It's a big step, I had done a ton of research, knew in my heart it was the right call, but was still scared to death at times. It seemed to come and go, so when I'd get really nervous I'd read: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/195065-you-know-you-lost-weight-when/ and when I got really nervous I'd read http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/219760-sex-oh-my-god-sex/

It's a possible consequence. All you can do is drink lots of Water and pray for the best. Good luck.

Two eggs, mix in some onions and mushrooms, two pieces of turkey bacon, 1/4 cup of Fage yogurt with some blue berries. I always assume that Breakfast may be the only meal I get in a day, so I make it count.

Alex, I think you might be very correct and possibly this is an area that many of the more cranky veterans might want to consider...a friend of mine said "most people in the world are walking around with the umbilical cords in their hands looking for a place to plug in." They have been so beaten up by their families, the world et. al. they just don't have the confidence to make their own decisions even after they have done the research. They need/crave outside vindication. So give the people looking for validation some grace. They just might not have the confidence to make their own decision. A further observation, when you gain control over one area of your life, you tend to get control over other areas. I've seen this in others as well as myself. I think this is why relationships change after weight loss as well as finances.

I like GNC and their battle http://www.forbes.com/sites/alexmorrell/2015/03/12/lawsuits-say-protein-powders-lack-protein-ripping-off-athletes/ Worth printing and sharing with your NUT

@@Mrs_O - Yes, as far as I can tell without scientific testing. I as just explaining that it dissolves the way I expect it should.

We were seeing each other six weeks before I took down my account, though I broke off every dating relationship with everything else off and didn't attempt to reach out to anyone else almost immediately after meeting her. My first reaction was I had met someone very special and I really wanted to focus. She was a little slower to come to the party. Hold on to your hats...I'm the only person she has dated posted divorce. She joined Match on a whim, she had been trying to prove that every male doing online dating is a liar and only interested in sex but she thought I might be sincere, so we went out for coffee, and we have been growing with infatuation ever since. She canceled her membership 7 weeks after meeting. We are still growing more and more intimate (in the best sense of the word). I am looking forward to knocking her off her feet this Christmas, and I have a very cool trip for us for New Years. We are both 52, but it is sooooo cool to feel like a teen infatuated again.

Glad to hear it my friend. I'm getting really wrapped up in a very serious new relationship, and she has no clue what life was like before, but your significant other will know what it means when you look down and see what she is doing and why you are so glad your gut isn't blocking the view. It is EXCITING AS ALL GET OUT. Just saying.

@@Shainadelphia - just remember this one... https://www.flickr.com/photos/athenapierce/7505308032/in/photostream

Oh you got this right...check out this blog to figure out statistics: http://www.robertniles.com/stats/ And for the more nerdy: http://www.robertniles.com/stats/regression.shtml

I have often wondered about it. I have some friends who lose weight when they juice, so I tried it and I gained. I am convinced that we are really so different that "one size fits all" recommendations are just not realistic. There may be something in someone internal gut bacteria or their liver function is just slightly different which can cause weight and fat fluctuations. It's just not a simple matter of calories in and calories out. So try it, track it and evaluate.

@@SHANA55 - How successful you will be with self pay in Mexico would depend on several factors: Are you able to do your own research esp. on nutrician? Quality of the surgeon and facility. There was a fly-by-night shady operation in TJ for a while. Do your research. But note the facility I went to had a lower rate of infection than most in the US. When you go there you see why...big private rooms, not cluttered with all the stuff we cram in US hospital rooms (that they never sterilize) and they mop three to four times a day. How many risk factors do you have? (Substance abuse, heart et al). Odd note...How much emotional support do you have? There will be many freak out moments for no good reason. Have you dealt with the emotional issues which brought you to this place? Therapy recommended, but this book should be mandantory...http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-First-Aid-Kit-Practical/dp/0976852659/ref=sr_1_13?ie=UTF8&qid=1436729032&sr=8-13&keywords=bariatric+book I did follow my own advise and it was easy and worth the $4000. Completely changed my life for the good.

This has been an issue off and on again for many of us...and I thought this rant was on point, so I am reposting it. HELP THOSE WHO WANT IT – OTHERWISE WHY WASTE YOUR TIME? BY: DAN KENNEDY ON: DECEMBER 10TH, 2015 8 COMMENTS My good friend James Tolleson once said, “Only when a person wants, needs and most of all, will appreciate your help, can you help them.” We sure waste a lot of time, energy and money in our society trying to help people who are simply not ready to be helped. Lyndon Johnson is largely responsible for implementing this very bad idea on such a grand scale that it has sucked up so much of our economic resources that our citizenry and industry are grossly overtaxed, highway and bridge infrastructure is collapsing and our national bank account is overdrawn. Just as it’s bad public policy, it is bad private policy to try helping somebody close-minded to it or does not demonstrate any initiative seeking it. Just for example, as soon as I discern somebody asks for my advice but then does nothing different as a result of it, I stop giving it; I may need that breath later. Successful entrepreneurs fall into this trap dozens of different ways: employing lazy, indolent family members and trying to turn them into something is one very common miss-step. Sales managers frequently invest 80% of their energy trying to help the 20% worst salespeople they’ve got, who, in truth, are doing nothing to help themselves, when they should be helping their top 20% peak performers do even better. I’m frequently asked for help with business or marketing problems, but when I start telling the person what they need to do to solve their problems, it becomes apparent they do not want a list of things for them to do nor do they want to work to get better at needed skills; they want me to solve it for them. Embroiling yourself in attempting to help those who will not actively partner in the process is neurotic behavior, to be avoided. If you WANT help… If you NEED help… If you WILL take action…

@@BullyMomma - Smart guy. Some might fault him for being a wimp, letting his wife have the procedure before him, but I think he's doing the right thing. He's going to be 100% ready to help and support his wife post surgery and having the procedure close enough to the time you have yours so you will remember the first few days stank. Congrats and good luck.

Allright, soon you will have the lament of many women in the world...when I look down I see the "three N's" nipple, navel, nipple Congratulations that your tummy is no longer the boob shelf. It will cool you off.

No we are not dumb...we know if we keep our mouth's shut good things will happen. But we are missing the fun stories...for instance: "Do you remember the movies Alien when the critter pops out of the stomach?" One previous casual encounter asked those scars and another, and she knew I had been in the Army, so she assumed they were all war wounds...which she also decided needed additional TLC. I wasn't going to get into which was from Panama and a departed Noriega thug and which ones were from Mexico.

Always plan for the worst, pray for the best. It's surgery, there are risks. However being fat had greater risks. Nerves are typical. Try to get yourself in the best shape you can. Walk often. Pay attention to the pre-op diet (they want your liver as small as possible so the surgeon has an easy shot to the stomach. Practice eating slow one meal a day. Get a blender for shakes. Get a coffee cup warmer to put your plate on when you eat to keep your food warm. And sample all the different Protein shakes and Isopure so you have that ready from day 1.

Geez, you really are logical Jamie

@ - If he starts wanting you on his arm as a lighter "hot girl" based on what many of the women on this site have said, you will actually resent it. It's an odd paradox, but it goes back to the idea that you are the same person you were, but only heavier and the outer appearance change is superficial and now you feel objectified. Depending on how important the relationship is to you, this is an area you might want to deal with in advance.

@@Emilie.Lancaster - Some people are much more secure when they have a fat mate. Mainly because they are less likely to have opportunities to trade up because of the weight. Weight-loss changes the power dynamic of a relationship as much as a job loss or promotion.

If you do the math you will realize that half of the population is below average. But I noticed that many of the self pays like me really had to do my own research ahead of time. Thankfully there is this site and others which I could get some really good info. But there are those who think WLS is a magic wand not a tool are probably not doing their homework.

@@bayougirlmrsc Yes a GOOD lawyer will help. I was blessed by knowing some good family law attorneys and I knew which attorneys were "fee churners" or were only interested in prolonging conflict to justify their own retainer and who wanted to help me get through this difficult process with the fewest legal problems as possible. The court isn't where you go to get therapy for past wrongs, it's where property is divided (don't forget the value of pensions). I mentioned the mistakes my ex-wife made because I have seen other women make similar mistakes because they were angry. I was really depressed when I saw the looming divorce, but I planned for the divorce a year before she filed. I had an attorney ready, I knew what accounts to close, and had new accounts at another bank and new email addresses set up. If I was going to do it now, I'd also learn how to block certain people from social media sites because I might post something out of spite that I would not want my ex to see. At this point, I think the visit to the attorney will be empowering. You don't have to pull the trigger, but you need to have an idea of what this will do to your financial life if you do choose to divorce. The cost may be too high, or give impetus for you to discuss root problems. If you know the bottom line realities and deal with your financial future fears and understand the process you can get a handle on the bigger problems.

@@on the fence 2 - The reason for restrictions on weight lifting during the first month has nothing to do with energy, but everything to do with respecting the internal stress on the incision line of the stomach. (RESPECT THE SLEEVE). Keeping Protein levels up to 100g or more per day will give you your best chance to keep energy level high. I was actually very surprised how high mine was. After a month start light, rebuild the base muscle and in month 2 start going up (I increased weight 10% per week). By month 3 you will be kicking yourself because you relied solely on the scale and didn't use a caliper to measure body fat because you will probably stall when muscle starts to grow but you will see a better indication of your progress by doing really good body fat% analysis.