OKCPirate

I'm not enjoying the allergens right now either. The battle is wearing out my immune system (it is a major stresser causing increased inflammation). You are new on this journey and the thoughts of possible major change may be overwhelming. I really suggest working through this book before surgery. I found it to be very helpful. http://www.amazon.com/The-Emotional-First-Aid-Kit/dp/0976852659

I wasn't, but it really depends on what type of shape you were in prior to surgery, and now how much quality Protein are you getting in. And frankly without knowing your age, size, job, physical activity, it is tough to advise. If you could fill in some of those details, I think there are many veterans here who can give you some good guidance and let you know when to sound the panic alarm.

Be careful on nuts: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/359914-im-giving-up-on-my-nuts/ Very high in concentrated calories. I tried a new strategy for Easter that worked well. I knew I'd be grazing all day with the ham and stuff, so I measured out my grazing plate at the start and instead of hitting the food table, I'd just graze at my plate instead of doing a full sit down meal and then graze. It worked today. Thinking about doing that everyday.

@@BSanchez2016 - I could not even see mine thanks to my gut prior to surgery. I was with a lady who I knew "biblically" before surgery and after losing most of my weight. She commented that things had "grown" since we were last together. So now there is no fat pad, there is no gut in the way, and I can see everything clearly down below when we are busy and I really like it. It will make a huge difference. And it is really cool getting into some nooks and crannies I could not before. NOTE: most of your hormones are stored in the fat. Major weight loss means major hormone dump. Which means you will be the man of steel one moment and then crying and wanting to watch "Pretty Woman." Its normal until you get your weight steady. This means this is not really a great time to make relationship decisions. As you become more attractive, you will get more opportunities. Be SAFE and SANE. Just saying. I was 52 and single. I'm just glad I didn't leave that phase of my life with anything permanent virus wise. Not proud of all that, got my wild oats sowed* but I'm much more stable now. *But I was the envy of all my married buddies for about 5 months. Especially when I was dating the 28 year old, but that's another story for a different forum. That story would begin "Dear Penthouse, I never would believe this would happen to me..."

@@Sophie74656 - I'm sorry to hear about this. I'm glad you are out and beginning to heal. It's a long term process and don't sell it short, it's important to grieve and grow at your pace. From a guys position, it sounds like the trust wasn't there to tell you earlier (this is not a judgement on you) in the relationship and he can now share because there is no perceived loss on his part. According to what I've read from reading Dr. John Gottman (https://www.gottman.com/) that is a big red flag that the relationship is dead or dying. Sorry for stumbling in on the discussion, but if you like the Bob and Tom show humor, you might like this audio clip, I parked it here: https://www.mediafire.com/folder/wt0ib922m75c9/Tammy (you have to download the MP3) BTW, not safe for work, but if you think you have it bad, you could be this lady's mother in law. Ladies, you might appreciate this article on relationships which I think will be too far out there for most, but I think she has some interesting points: mariahfreya.com/9-lessons-i-have-learned-from-my-9-year-relationship And I'll excuse myself now, thanks for your indulgence ladies.

I'm finally done with tons of work travel, spring break with daughter, and bronchitis (thanks to living in pollen central). @@bellabloom - How is your search going now? For the record I crunched my Match.com numbers from last year: I sent 149 emails via their site I received 61 back 15 coffee dates 6 real dates 3 multiple dates 1 possible match that had to be aborted because there were still issues to be resolved post divorce* * but this is where it got interesting and how the universe can work for you in ways you don't know. I had several lady friends I was dating, but not seriously. Some were just physical. Well I broke up this when I met this lady with the issues, because I sensed something special after a few dates. Well, it turns out she has really bad Borderline Personality issues. Opps, and I had broke up with everyone (UGH, back to square one!) BUT, the very next date "She" showed up and we have been going out for the last eight months and it keeps getting better every time we go out. It wasn't "boom" it was a slow, mature growth in the relationship. But what I marvel at is how the whole dating field was cleared out the week before we met. There were no distractions at that moment. Things have progressed that She went with me and my daughter to Chicago for Spring Break. Even my 16 year old daughter said "wow I really like her, don't screw this up Dad." Now this is the first women I have ever introduced my daughter to, let alone traveled with. Moral of the story - it's work, it is providence, its a numbers game. Or in my girlfriend's case, a complete accident. I'm the only person she reached out to on Match. I'm it. The only person she's dated since leaving her marriage. If she wasn't so emotionally stable, I'd be worried, but I'm just not in the least. Hope this is encouraging.

Yes. Exactly. Even if something bad is happening, we can see how being normal sized makes it better. that is why I quit drinking and wanted to lose weight. You just know there is the possibility of something bad happening and you don't want withdrawals nor not being able to get to the hospital. My appendix burst when I was at 305 and the smoking and weight made recovery horrible. I was around 280 when a disk herniated in my back and I wondered if there was an MRI tube my size. None of these are my worries anymore. No alcohol, no smoke, and fairly normal weight. (Now if I can just get to a place with a normal pollen count I'll quit worrying about breathing through allergy season).

I had a nice pile of shirts which were too big, so I wore one with buttons and told my girlfriend "you know this shirt is expendable, so if you have ever wanted to just rip a shirt off a guy, here you go." Wink, wink. After a moment, buttons flying everywhere. So now she lets me know its play time by getting into one of my old shirts. I think she likes it. Not saying it's for everyone, but I'm enjoying it.

VS surgery, I was working the day after surgery on my laptop in the hospital. I went to an OU football game three days later. I found that using Isopure clear Protein kept my energy high enough that I really didn't notice any major drop in energy.

I don't think you are being judgmental at all. It was a coffee date He was late He was pudgey Kind of adds up to "sorry, no chemistry, NEXT"

Sorry about the funk @WorkinOnMe. They stink. As far as the relationship with hubby, you might want to look into Dr. Gottman's work: http://www.amazon.com/The-Relationship-Cure-Strengthening-Friendships/dp/0609809539/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=0Z01QG11MRDQZYCG3RM0 He not only has some very good advice, it's actually backed up by some very serious science (which I appreciate, it's nice not getting relationship advice based off sentiment, circumstances which are different from yours, or just moral pleading/whining). My girlfriend and I have been working through his book together (we don't have any problems, but at our age we really want to get this right). It has really opened up new channels of very deeply meaningful communications. His methods make it extremely safe to discuss hard issues.

Damn what is it with you WLS women and violence...This is the third post I've seen like this. OK,@@RILEYSMOM22, to the problem at hand. <ehm> The guy was a jerk. Probably still had mommy issues. Be thankful you found out now al beit awkwardly. But be thankful you found out. NOW, the good news. You are going to be a real hottie soon. How do I know? Because I was a 52 year old male version last year. <Ahem> you will also be experiencing the hormone dump that comes with serious quick weight loss. Yes I know, this is coming from a guy, but PLEASE listen...what this means is you want to jump the damn parking meter soon. It's not your fault. Its not rational. It's just the way it is. Not making judgments, but please do not make any long term relationship decision during the next six months. I am not particularly proud of the December through April of last year in my life. Yes it was a great deal of fun, and I am glad there were no long term consequences, but I have come to grips with the reality that I wasn't fully myself during that time. Please do not do anything completely stupid during this time. But dang I wish I had that same rush with my hopefully last girlfriend...It's powerful stuff. (enjoy it)

@ - when I first realized that this might be the answer and I went through all the ups and downs, I read through this post: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/195065-you-know-you-lost-weight-when/ and this really helped me keep my eye on the prize. It has worked well beyond expectations with very little pain. I will say that I prepared for the absolute worst, but it has gone perfectly. I realized there were sooo many Non-scale victories (NSV's) waiting for me. I have added many myself over the years. (Just wait until you don't have to plan cutting your toenails any more, it's just too damn cool). I highly recomend http://www.amazon.com/The-Emotional-First-Aid-Kit/dp/0976852659 this resource. And if you need additional motivation, look for "Sex, oh my god sex" in the men's section (not for the faint of heart, but HIGHLY motivating). Good luck, and message me if you want more info.

Get bike pants. The extra padding helps. I used to wear them under regular shorts, now I flaunt it (but not 80 pounds ago).

Plan to stay close to the pot and enoy the night of a 1000 showers. Ahhh, but did I ever feel so clean. I don't think so.

It's easy to confuse the vulgar few with the reality that most men on dating sites are sincere. That would be akin to taking the handful of internet trolls as being the norm on most chat boards. Do the math and you know half of the population is below average. Just put on blinders realize that online dating is a just marketing tool to help you find good prospects. Minimize the time risk by going for coffee. Does it work immediately...well believe it or not for my girlfriend yes, for me no. I am the only person she ever met with on Match.com...that was seven months ago. We both canceled our accounts after the second date. My experience was much longer and varied than hers. My point is when we talk about dating horror stories, it's easy to scare of people who looking into online dating because they only hear about the bad and bizarre. The vast majority of people I have met have been decent people, many are still friends, I've attended two of their weddings even. Just because we didn't have romantic chemistry, doesn't mean I didn't not like them. All that said, I'm glad to be out of the dating pool. It takes energy and time. But so does maintaining a great and growing relationship. But I would much rather invest time and energy into something where I know the long term potential rather than hope for it.

I have been experimenting with Chia Seeds and Quinoa based on the recommendation of the people who did my blood work. My doc has signed off so I'm starting to put these in the mix. So far I'm just putting Chia Seeds in my yogurt (tablespoon) and mixing Quinoa with beans for a high protien starch. Any known problems? Any weight gain after adding them to your diet? Any improvement in blood work? Bang for the buck in terms of protein seems really good, but always looking for other people's experience.

Geez you are young. You might even get a six pack out of this deal

I started three months post surgery and had no problem. But it's a grueling workout. To prepare I Walked an hour a day for a month post surgery Light weights and elliptical on month two Heavier weights and running month three Only after this did I try adding in hot yoga. Hope that helps.

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch - I use a service called insidetracker.com to do my blood work (cheaper than the doctors office). They recommended adding it to help with increasing the good cholesterol level... http://blog.insidetracker.com/chia-seeds-should-you-add-them-to-your-diet http://blog.insidetracker.com/five-new-foods-to-add-to-your-diet

Yes people treat me differently but I don't think it's all external... My energy level is higher, I'm less self conscious which frees up more areas in my brain to observe others, and people want to be around people who want to talk about them My confidence is higher, which is very attractive (until it approaches Trump levels) My happiness level is much higher I don't know which came first, my changes, or people recognizing the weight loss but to me these both work together. If you do the work on the inside as well as out you will enjoy the change more. Yes people treat me differently but I don't think it's all external... My energy level is higher, I'm less self conscious which frees up more areas in my brain to observe others, and people want to be around people who want to talk about them My confidence is higher, which is very attractive (until it approaches Trump levels) My happiness level is much higher I don't know which came first, my changes, or people recognizing the weight loss but to me these both work together. If you do the work on the inside as well as out you will enjoy the change more.

For those who are confused by the term "interment fasting" click here: http://authoritynutrition.com/intermittent-fasting-guide/ It's not a bad system, but I've used it in the past and I really feel a lack of energy on the fast days. You might want to consider playing with your workout routine. Switch to a HITT system. http://blog.sme.sk/blog/3928/155928/GibalaIntervalTraining_2008.pdf

It used to put me to sleep for 6+ hours, but it runs through my sleeve so quickly that I wake up in 4 hours. I found that when I have problems sleeping melatonin works well (5mg chew-able, 5mg slow release).