OKCPirate

@@bdejong - That is going to the heart of several issues. The biggest problem I always had in these situations is my feelings got hurt and I didn't do a great job of hearing what her feelings were or making sure she was properly understood. I learned a great deal about how women think with this book: https://www.gottman.com/shop/the-mans-guide-to-women/ Gottman also has some great resources for couples on how to improve communications: https://www.gottman.com/shop/7-principles-for-making-marriage-work-revised-book/ If you notice the ladies are all saying...talk and LISTEN to her. (Hint, hint)

This weekend at Hunnington Beach in California...I realized I walked in deep sand for over an hour, no heavy breathing, no sinking to my knees. That was a first. I used to scan for the quickest way to shore line to get to the "firm" sand near the Water, and it was always a slog to get there. It's so nice to be normal.

This Ed? I think I want to see how that one came out.

I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to explain this. I suspected tats have a story but we don't often get a chance to find out. For the records...I have none and I'm not interested getting a permanent ID. But saw a bunch at a wediening this weekend and was curious

Damn idiots who don't know or bother to quit talking inanely while in the security lines at the airport. For crap sakes, TSA sucks enough but you idiots screw up more. I jumped ahead of one idiot who didn't prepare in advance because she was talking and didn't get her stuff together. She yelled at me that I was "rude". Big mistake. I didn't hold up the line but waited until we we through with the scanner to let her know what a narsistic idiot she was who had no regard for anyone else's time and there was no rule requiring me to let idiots waste my time and if she didn't like it she could bite me or have her wimp husband take a beating f them,

To maximize your investment, look up the best time to take supplements and realize not all of them go together http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/healthy-eating/dont-mix-calcium-iron

Two fiction books that I enjoyed listening to... Nookie Town- what if the wives who didn't have the energy for sex teamed up with the single women in a small NJ town? Funny and insightful The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo series is continued with a new writer and he is very good. The Girl in the Spider's Web: A Lisbeth Salander novel, continuing Stieg Larsson's Millennium Series

BTW, I know women out number men by a factor of 10 on this site, but loose skin is embarrassing for both sexes. My GF wasn't part of my decision to do WLS(we didn't even know each other then), but the excess skin on my upper thighs got in her way the other day and it was embarrassing to look down and see her moving it away, Not a great Kodak moment in my life. But the fact remains I am a highly functional, healthy boyfriend despite some excess skin, At 53, we are not going to be photo-shopped modes. But I'll take healthy and functional any day,

BTW, if I didn't really say it earlier,,, IT IS WORTH IT You don't know, but wait until you don't have to plan to cut your toenails. Think about it...inhale, snip, stand up, inhale, lean forward, etc, When you are past that point, you will realize pre/post op was worth it. JUST SAYING

Why do you say zinc? Not saying you are wrong, but please share what you have learned or links.

Start with this book: https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-First-Aid-Kit-Practical/dp/0976852659?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0 It was very helpful to me to start this journey.

Ok, not going to lie, it sucks giving up habits that we have enjoyed for many years. I weaned off Diet Mt Dew, coffee, alcohol,and then deliberately starved myself to shrink my liver so my surgery would be successful. AND IT WAS WORTH IT This isn't the easy way. It is a tool. BUT IT IS SO WORTH IT. Just saying.

I am the odd man out on this...and while I loved the Harry Potter books and anything from Tom Clancy's team, I really like non-fiction. Some summer suggestions (and these are very well written and very entertaining) Sex at Dawn - an absolute game changer in how you see sex and relationships Confessions of an Ad Man - Classic book on selling and how you can learn to do it better Why Women have Sex - umm, if you still buy the old Victorian idea that women don't really need sex, READ THIS BOOK (and I don't care what gender you are). Big Leauge City, how OKC got the Thunder by David Holt...http://www.welcometoloudcity.com/2013/8/28/4665362/big-league-city-an-interview-with-okc-state-senator-david-holt-part-1 If you want to understand modern sports, read this book. Plus I have a great deal of pride in my adopted home town and how much it has grown since I have been here.

OK, since it's true confession time Dad of four great kids, 3/4's are out of the house and my youngest daughter is entering her senior year of high school. Once she is in college I am heading out of Oklahoma (I love the people, OKC, is actually a very cool place right now, but the damn pollen is killing me). I was married for 21 years. 15 were happy. The last six sucked pond Water. My ex was hospitalized because of mental illness. I found a therapist with the idea of learning how to help her. To my surprise, I realized I was the one who needed the help (kind of like what they tell you on an airplane,,,put your own mask on first before you put a mask on your kids). Funny thing, when I realized what my problems were and I started to change, I realized just how toxic my relationship was with my ex. It took a few years, but we finally ended the madness. I am election/political professional. That means I really get into numbers as well as people. That helped me look at dating in a very skewed way, but it worked. I understand how to find the people I wanted to meet and worked very seriously to communicate to them. I really enjoy sex and intimate time with my significant other. I study this subject because I am serious about maximizing her pleasure. I have taken two classes on yoni massages. (look it up on your own and PM if you want me more info). MEN, it is damn fun to figure out how complex women really are, take time to study them. If you are a guy and you don't realize the sexual potential of a woman...shame. It will blow your mind, and I am convinced that if a guy will take the time to learn that potential, it will pay off more than you will ever realize...women's capacity for giving is greater than you know, but only if she trusts and cares. Nuff said there. I have the coolist job in the world. I have a virtual staff of over 500 people all over the world. I have a great team to make it all work. I get to teach future generations. I am very frank with my mistakes which helps the next generation do more than I ever could. I was a poli sci major, but my concentration was on the eastern block and the commies. I started my military career as a private (I was an MP), became a SGT (very cool job in the Army), but after I was commissioned I ended as a Cpt. (I literally am Cpt. Kirk). I am not bragging (and thankfully have never been called to do it), but I can take out anyone from 3/4's of a mile away with a .50cal sniper rifle, and I have enjoyed close in fights since taking Aikido and Karate for the last 15 years. I am exceedingly proud of my kids...one who is a restaurant manager at Disney, my oldest son is about to become a teacher, my next son is becoming a physical therapist, and my youngest is now in the top 10 of her class and is going to OU to study Geology and wants to work in the State Department. I love my GF beyond measure. We are a testimate that it is never too late to find a relationship that brings you happiness and at 53, we can still make a randy teenager green with envy when we are alone as a couple. (We both had 20+ year marriages, and tried to save them despite the dysfunction, but we also both grew from the experience and have used those lessons to help each other). I am very thankful that I found WLS as an option and have tried to honor it by being part of the greater community, and be an evangelist, mentor and teacher,

Five years ago today my divorce was finalized. It was the end of a rough process. It isn’t easy separating your life from someone who you had been with for 21 years and had four children with. It also means that even though we are divorced, we will be seeing each other during every major life event in our children’s life. With that reality in mind, I had a couple of goals when I went into this process five years ago… #1 – Kids Make sure they always know that I love them, they are not at fault and I will always have their back. Also never work to separate them from their mother, and to never disparage my ex in front of the kids. I never wanted my kids to think they had to choose between us. #2 – Get out with as much dignity as possible I wanted out with as little public embarrassment, and with as little financial cost as possible. But I also knew that my ex was going to have a harder time than I would getting started again. So for the last five years I have been paying her alimony. I made my final payment last month. I understand some men (and women) get caught in some very bad situations because of sudden job loss and alimony can become inherently unfair. But in my case I thought it was important to supplement my ex’s income to help her maintain her dignity as she began a new chapter in her life. I didn’t want my kids to think I threw her to the curb to fend for herself. The financial entanglements with my ex have now ended,and I wish her the best. I hope the kids see their parents as people who had their differences and could no longer live together, but never stopped loving and looking out for them. We will always be your parents, we love you and we have your back, always. All that said I think I have met my goals. I recently looked at my blood work from six years ago and what it is now. Six years ago I saw a person who was going downhill rapidly. This year's is nearly perfect. Thanks to WLS my health has never been better. My attorney told me, if you want to get revenge in a divorce, live a happy life. If she is miserable because of it, that is on her. If she isn't, well you have a happy life.

No, Kindle, that was the beginning of your beginning. I've always had this theory that I swear to be true:-----most men suffer from "HGS" when it comes to being compassionate and caring of a woman's heart. "HGS" stands for "Hanging Genital Syndrome". It has always occurred to me that when one's genitals hang freely from the body, it causes drag throughout the body--eventually the brain. Dragging of the brain causes cellular damage --leaving one cold hearted and obsessed with one's damage causing hanging parts. Of course, not all men suffer from this ailment---just those insensitive sods out there in Never Never Land. God told Adam I have some good news and some bad...the good news is I am going to give you a brain and a penis. The bad news is I can only give you enough blood to operate one at a time

I can't read and walk either, but I am an auditory learner, so I pick up a great deal just by listening.

I trick myself by getting into an audio book I really like. But I don't let myself listen to it unless I am exercising. It seems to jump start things. I'm an odd duck on this though, but give me a good Tom Clancy novel and I am going to walk/run/lift for an hour or more.

Geez, this stuff is everywhere: But this is my typical straw fail...

You can make Protein Fraps coffee chocolate flavored protein from GNC I add vanilla stevia to mine I also put in half a oikos triple zero vanilla yogurt Dang tastey, and I like the energy boost.

Umm, little early for the two hour marathon sex. Hard on the core and staple line 10 days out. But in 20 more days watch out, if you follow instructions, the hormone level will make that a very pleasant possibility...see: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/219760-sex-oh-my-god-sex/. I would not have even considered any more that walking for the first month. Only gentle sex until your stomach has healed.

I have a great deal of respect for your ex making that effort and for you for taking him up on the offer.

@@gowalking - "I'm 57 and have had children. Between those two things, some loose skin is not a deal breaker." Any guy who has been around and dated women his own age and is over 45 realizes gravity wins, and having kids changes things. (Though I wish I had the child bearing excuse ) It has taking me months to get my GF to realize I really do think she's really hot (and she is, she is great looking, and surprising young 53). But it is very cool that she has no problem sharing a meal when we eat out. She knows about the surgery, and she doesn't eat much at a meal either, so one entree is usually enough for the two of us. Thankfully we like the same food and she trusts my choices. Occasionally she sees something on the menu that sounds great to her and so we do two Entrees and to go boxes. I'm glad you are finding a new normal. That is a nice change.

@@jennmonterrozo - I used my lunch to practice eating slowly, small bites and many chews. It was good practice for week 3 post op. I like to grill extra's and use those for lunch. Worse comes to worse, ham roll up works great.