OKCPirate

Yes we do (bite me anyone who is offended, it is what is, you ladies get multiple orgasms, and that ticks me off, so unfair). Umm, is this a problem for some ladies? If it is, talk and educate you man. Message me and I'd be glad to send you links. It is outside the scope of this post, but there is no reason not to take advantage of all the biological potential you ladies have. And have fun (in a safe and sane way). Education is really erotic when well applied. Sex isn't something you do, it is a place of transcendent union. It can be pure bliss, the joy of anticipation, and hours of pleasure...but only when respected and explore. Respect eros, and embrace it.

Well that sucks. BTW, I am example that this cycle can end. The end began to end in my late 40's (year post divorce) and WLS at 51 ended the struggle. I don't think sex is the beat all and end all of intimacy. It isn't, trust me on that. But it is an important part of our humanity. No reason to give up this ONE part of your self. The pain in your post makes me think there is more healing to be done than just WLS. Fix that first. Just saying, suggesting hoping you will et. al.

These were recommended by the people who do my blood work. I include them in Breakfast and in my yogurt. Best to soak them first...https://draxe.com/chia-seeds-benefits-side-effects/. Can't say they have changed my life, but the evidence suggest there are positives.

Yes we do (bite me anyone who is offended, it is what is, you ladies get multiple orgasms, and that ticks me off, so unfair). Don't expect to see anything really substantial until month two. But that's when I went by a mirror at the mall, and flat out didn't recognize myself. That was a surreal moment.

It's not an easy journey, you have serious work to do changing your internal self image to your external. Many women find that they are offended because they are getting attention because of their external appearance and that offends them because internally they feel the same, which reinforces an idea that "guys just care about looks." That's about as true as "women only care about how much you make." Finding the right person for you is damn difficult. It's just a reality. But I tripled the number of prospective Mrs. Pirates by quitting smoking and met even more when I lost weight. I KNOW it is much different when you are a woman an being "pursued" but it still sucks being a scorned guy so take some solace in that.

i'm verklempt talk amongst yourselves... I'll give you a topic..."WLS is not the easy way out, discuss".

Why be sore, when you can soar?

Enjoy the transformation. I think I was about two months into the transformation, when I startled myself. I walked by the mirror and wondered "who the hell is that?" It will happen.

So she used yogurt in place of sour cream? What did she use for the cheese? I'm salivating a little here BTW.

Possibly another way of stating this is quality and quantity matters in everything...religion, relationships, alcohol, food and exercise. To everything there is a point of balance. I can't get around the fact that even low calorie fruit slows down my weight loss, but moderate quantities of vegies don't. White, processed carbs seems to have a negative effect, yet more dense whole grains doesn't. Could be an old Celtic gene anomaly, but it seems to be true in my case. Different hormones count just as much as calories, and you are free to ignore this, but also don't blame the hormones if you have figured out a way to ingest 3000 calories a day as you sit on the couch all day while blaming the gain on your genes and glands. Most of what I have heard in this post is spectacular common sense draped in solid logic with some good science behind the positions. That is my position and I shall not waiver.

Traveling is so much easier. Don't ooze into airplane seats, hotel beds don't hurt when you weigh what a normal adult weighs. But most importantly is my GF. We really would not have met if I was my old size and she has freed me from many things in the year that we have dated. Most emotionally stable person I have ever known.

getting buffed up for my Gladiator Costume

Wow, well beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes straight down to the bone. I just can't imagine saying that to another human being, and I have a temper. @@Dub, I am with you on the joys of nice neighbors. One of the cool things about Oklahoma, the people really have each other's backs. I think it is because our biggest disasters are tornadoes, which are catastrophic, but very localized. Which means most people are able to help those hit and since we all know it could be us next time, we all pitch in to help out. (I'm going to digress a little and brag about my adopted home state...I have been in a war, a major southern California earthquake, hurricanes in NC...but I have never seen anything like I did following the bombing of the Murah Building in OKC. There were no traffic accidents for three days following the bombing, I noticed people were driving slower and more carefully than usual and it hit, no one wants to pull emergency crews from the bombing. Even the crooks have class, the crime rate dropped to virtually 0 during that time. I have never seen a city of nearly a million people pull together like that).

No, no, no...You need to find the best consignment shops and thrift stores for the transition. Do NOT invest in new clothes until you hit a new normal. I went from a 46" waist to 36" that's a lot of pant sizes. And then find a place that will buy your nice plus size clothes. They exist.

Winston Churchill's exchange with Lady Astor Winston, your drunk And you Lady Astor, are ugly...however in the morning I'll be sober. And at the end of the day, you will be healthy and she will still be ugly. Just saying. I had the same crap with my ex, I just got to the point where I refused to partisipate in her drama. That is very liberating. George Bush Sr. was asked by 60 minutes to do a special interview on the eve of his son's invasion of Iraq, and he said "no." And they said "but you don't understand, this is history." He said "well I don't give a rip, I'm going fishing." When you get to that point, you are really liberated and free.

My sleep apnea abated with the weight loss. That said, I used my machine until the readout showed there were no episodes for over 3 weeks. (My bipap tracked episodes where it needed to increase pressure). I ask, but no one I have slept with since I have dropped below 230 has ever mentioned the fact that I snore, which is really dang cool for everyone involved.

was one of my orthopedic doctors than finally recommended bariatric surgery, and did it in a very honest, but direct way. He sympathized with me saying he understood that it was incredibly difficult, and that most people really are not able to it on their own in the long run. He even mentioned that telling me I need to lose weight was of really no value as I was obviously an intelligent man and knew this. He went on to inform me that if I continued as I was, I would become disabled. And not many years down the road, but soon. He said I would most likely be in a wheelchair in less than 10 years, and that I would struggle with the surgeries I needed and the recovery. Then he suggested I consider bariatric surgery - again noting it was a big decision, but that perhaps I start by going and talking with a surgeon to learn more. Now THAT is a helpful approach - at least for me. Showing care and compassion goes a long way in having your message heard. Being educated on obesity helps as well. Strangely enough, that was my wake up call. When I was as the Sugar Bowl (irony indeed) I showed some stroke like symptoms which scared the hell out of me. My PCD didn't see any problem, but because I was seeing weird lights in my vision, I saw my eye doc, she was an old friend and she had a great heart to heart talk with me...she said "look these are just warning lights on your dashboard. You need to get your weight down, or you are going to be diabetic and have other problems." That got me on the path to begin to seriously work at losing weight. After 6 months of trying at WW, I ran across a pod cast where they talked about WLS and the Cleveland Clinic study of long term success, and they said something I had never heard before...'the success rate for behavior modification was less than 5%, but surgery was over 70%.' I remember saying BS, but they were dead on right. That's when I started looking into WLS. So those of you in the medical profession, sometimes, we patients do listen. You might be the SMC (sudden moment of clarity) for another human being. You don't know. No one does. But keep up the earnest work.

@@Babbs "If you don't plan, you plan to fail"...that is a good motto. It's why I keep rescue food with me. Ehm...anyone not familiar with the term rescue food, what I mean is I have Protein sources with me usually different jerkeys (yes they are high in sodium, but they are are low carb, and usually low calorie, but high in protein) and also Protein powder. These will supplement me and keep me from getting frustrated and grabbing chips etc. when I am unexpectedly stuck.

When I have tracked my calories in the past (not tracking right now as I am maintaining fine without tracking), I literally weighed every ingredient in my home cooked meals, plugged them into a recipe calorie calculator, weighed the finished product, and weighed how much food I actually ate in order to get the correct percentage. I am SUPER anal when I track calories, which is exactly why I don't track them when I don't have to. I would waste half my life weighing, measuring, calculating, and entering! Me too, especially the first 18 months. Now I am sort of autopilot. I eat pretty much the same stuff all the time so I don't track as much as used to. But for the first 18 months I did weigh everything and tried to figure Protein and calorie counts, as well as carbs.

@@FindingOnederland - I totally agree. I was showing COPD symptoms before I quit using the vape. My doc is thrilled those are all gone. He has become a believer in the Vape.

@ - thanks for the post, very interesting read. @@MaryCatherine Umm, no. I wish it was, but it really isn't that simple. It is a good model. But the problem is people take it too literally. Hormones affect this, the food type affects and individual responses to different types of calories actually makes a difference. Most interesting article I've seen on this subject is here: http://drinks.seriouseats.com/2013/10/cocktail-science-do-alcohol-calories-count-digesting-spirits.html To make matters more complicated, just try and figure out how many calories are in your home cooked dinner. We are just doing gross estimates. But all that said, it is not a bad indicator, just not perfect and I would caution about being too dogmatic. The reason I'm posting this is some people will say "I burned 3500 calories yesterday, but I didn't lose my pound." That's where this tool breaks down. You really have to log food/calories over a period of time. Your long term trend is what is most important. When you are honest with yourself, you will see when you started adding extra calories, and how that is affecting your weight...but that will only show up in the course of a month, not day by day. I hope I not discouraging people from keeping track of calories, carbs, fat and Protein. Just realize these are hardly perfect numbers. I am looking to stay around 1100 calories and 100g of protein (more on heavy workout days). This has kept my weight consistent for nearly 18 months. I am about ready to experiment with a 5/2 method of controlled fasting (very interesting idea brought up by @lipsticklady). All we can do is be very honest with ourselves with our tracking, and pay attention to the scale and if you are really serious with the calipers to see what your percentage of body fat is. All the scale and calorie charts really do is act as tools. Hmm, familiar theme, just as your sleeve is a tool, so are these.

That is funny. Thanks for the rant. I had lunch with a friend yesterday, the dude is now in the place where he realizes WLS could be a great thing for him. No doubt he needs it, diabetic, CPAP et.al. I'm now the second guy he knows who has had the surgery and he has seen both of us change our lives for the good and he's ready to move on it. As I see him asking questions I think of some of the silly posts I have seen and realize "dang I was in that spot." WLS is not a subject they teach in high school or college. You have to learn all this on your own. I am blessed in that I do research on a multitude of subjects all the time, but not everyone has the training or skills to do it, so it is great that Alex set up this site to help people find answers. But I will remind everyone of this one incontrovertible fact...half of the worlds population is below average. That's just a mathematical reality. All that said, I do really enjoy this site...silly people aside, the inspiration I get from people who are changing their lives for the good keeps me going. I can't tell you how good it makes me feel when I read about someone who can get into an airplane seat without an extender and when someone does a 5K, and when their significant other can finally give them a full body hug. I'm glad there is a place where we can share these experiences. I count it a privilege to contribute where I can, and I thank everyone who has the courage to share their trials and accomplishments. We are a very unique community.

@@fatgirlsvelte - I'm not "pro-surgery" I am just "pro-support." Good luck in your journey, and never be scared of exploring and deciding,"well that isn't for me." That is wisdom. In very short supply in this world.

@@Jane1979 - I agree with the teen. Too much too fast. Caffeine needs to be tapered or it will give you a horrible headache. I have found vaping to be most effective way to quit smoking. Nearly half of all smokers in the last five years have quit thanks to that technology (I got a copy of an internal study from my state's "smoke free" initiative which showed how effective it is...those turkeys banned vaping in public before they even studied it...grrr). To tell you the truth, the hardest thing I quit was diet sodas. That was a struggle.