ladybug3

I'm just checking in, too. I rarely come here anymore, but I've been feeling like I need to re-focus, you know? I've been at the same weight (144) for ages and ages, but I'd really like to lose another 15 and be down at 130. It's not so much the weight, but I'm feeling less in control of my eating than I used to feel. I'm reasonably good diet-wise, although I probably eat too many carbs and drink too many calories (lattes and alcohol are my biggest downfalls) but I mostly stick to "the rules" which helps a lot. I think right now I just mostly miss feeling like I was in charge, not my stomach. I get hungry more often than I used to. I might need a fill, since I haven't been to the doctor in a pretty long time - probably almost a year - and I can eat things that used to be hard, mainly hamburger and rice. I ate cold sushi recently without getting stuck and that's usually a big tip-off that I need a fill. My life is going through a lot of changes right now. It's my birthday tomorrow and I will now be closer to 40 than I am to 30. I'm not admitting to anyone how much that bothers me. I don't mind getting older. In fact, I love it, because I care less and less what others think of me. But I don't like it because my body is less able to adapt and to adjust. I need more sleep, I need better nutrition, I need to take better care of myself than I used to. And that bugs me. I'm not big on self-care. So, I'm glad there are still some people around. Our issues are so different than people who were just banded. I love my band. I would never go back for anything. But I'm still learning how to live with it and how to face that I still have weight issues, even after all of this time and work.

As I am just a few days away from my one-year bandiversary, here's my two cents. First, everyone is different. For some people, weight slides off no matter what they do. For others, they have to fight for every pound, even with the band. But really, I can't imagine that anyone who has longterm success does it without work. I have found that it's really easy to get lazy and stop paying attention to what I'm eating and how much. What's nice, though, is that now my discipline level is closer to my friends who watch their weight. And having good fills is super important! Good luck!

For anyone reading this who has not had their surgery, I highly recommend discussing port placement before your surgery. For some reason, it never occured to me to ask my doctors where the port was going to be. When I'm standing, it's fine, but when I sit (especially because I hunch over - yes, I have poor posture!) my underwires really dig into my port and it's very uncomfortable. And there's nothing they can do, unless I have a tt. Some bras are worse than others, but I really wish I had asked that question. I have to adjust my bra sometimes when I'm sitting and sometimes my port site gets really sore. And I'm down to a 32H these days. Gah. Try finding THAT size. And a 32 is almost too big. I so wish I could have a reduction, but I probably can't. I have heart issues and am on blood thinners, so I can't imagine my docs letting me go through such an invasive surgery. I didn't have one when I was younger because I really wanted to be able to breastfeed. Considering that of my three children, only one nursed past four months old and even that was once a day (and except for that last baby, it was never a pleasant experience - I did it because I felt it was best for the baby), it was probably not worth putting off the reduction for, at least for me. Because not only am I huge, but I'm really saggy and have never been "perky" or firm. Oh well. My husband says he likes them. At least that's one of us. :thumbup:

I think my surgeon mentioned PS for the first time today when I got a fill, but I was well aware of the possible need for it. I've wanted a breast reduction since I was in high school (I didn't because I wanted to be able to nurse my babies), but at this point, if I had to choose, I think I'd do the TT. They may have mentioned it in the seminars, but I didn't really pay attention because I knew I already wanted it. I just don't know that I'll be able to get PS at all because I have heart issues and am on blood thinners. It was an issue even getting my band and I had to stay on aspirin and go off my plavix for a few days and start it right away after my surgery (I have stents in my heart). I really, really hope I can at some point because I have terrible sagging from having babies (my skin stretched as soon as I saw the plus sign on the first pg test!) and I'm sure I have muscle damage, since my first was literally pushed out by the nurses. And then I had two more babies! My body NEVER recovered! LOL! I'd also like a reduction because I. am. huge. Seriously, I can barely find bras to fit me, especially now that I've lost weight and am not a "plus-size" band anymore, but still need huge cups. And never mind trying to find a swimsuit. I'd hope that insurance would cover that (I've been complaining to my PCP for years and have been to chiropractors and everything for my back pain), but I don't know that physically I could do both. But I'm only 34 and my kids are still little, so I have lots of years at the beach ahead of me! It's scary, too, because there's always a risk and my family has been through so much with my health. I'd probably have to do some major convincing of my husband first! My question would be for the doctor, is it better to do things seperately or together? How much do medications affect one's prospects for PS? Great thread! I've already learned a lot!

Hi. I don't post here very often, but I do check in now and then and read a lot of posts. First, I will say that I love my band, I'm so glad I got it, I'd do it again in a heartbeat, etc. But, having said that, I'm in a bit of a funk at the moment. I thought this last fill was perfect and was all set to lose 10 pounds over the last two months. I haven't lost a thing. I'm having a serious motivation problem. I think I've reached the point where my body and my head are in all-out war with each other. I want to eat when I'm not hungry, I want to eat things I shouldn't, I want to keep eating when I'm full. I'm so irritated with myself and I know all the things I should do. I've been pretty successful with this so far and I've been very happy with my weight loss until recently (I was banded last November). As I say, I know what I should do. I'm just really, really having a hard time doing it. I want to. I feel out of control and I hate that. My summer has been very busy and feeling out of control with my eating ties in with feeling out of control in other areas. I'm not practicing self-care in all sorts of areas and I just feel yucky! I'm especially irritated with myself because I don't have that much farther to go to reach my goal! What is wrong with me?!!! Does anyone have any suggestions for getting out of a slump? I know everyone is different and everyone's life circumstances are different, but I just need something to get me started on the right road! I do have an appointment for another fill in a little over a week and I'm sure that will help! But I feel the bigger problem is the head stuff. I'm returning to my self-sabatoging (sp?) ways and that makes me angry. I will not go back there again. I'm feeling depression creeping in again and that makes me angry, too. There's no reason AT ALL for me to be depressed and I refuse to give in to it. But the bad eating habits I thought I'd broken have reared their ugly heads again and I can't seem to get a grip on them. I try reinforcing my good habits instead of focusing on my bad ones and that helps, but man, that's a struggle too. I have tons of support and I feel my main battle is against busyness and emotional responses to stress. I think part of my struggle is that I feel that I can't find the time (or sometimes the energy) to do the things that help me maintain equlibrium, such as meditation/prayer, yoga, writing, reading, etc. While I don't feel those things are optional, they get pushed aside by the immediate needs of my young family (I have three kids - 7, 4 and 2). I feel like I'm finally myself again after several years of very difficult circumstances and I'm struggling to reorder my life to be the way I want it to be and my biggest obstacle is myself! So after all that long rambling and introspection (:thumbup: - more than anyone cared to read, I'm sure!), any suggestions?

Thanks for all your replies! It's just nice sometimes to know that other people feel the same way. :teeth_smile: I do know that this is a life change and it's a slow process. I totally agree that as long as the scale is not going up, that is a victory, too! Just being able to vent about my feelings really helped. Most of the WLS people I know in real life have had bypass, so their issues are a little different. And while my husband is very supportive and encouraging, he's not going through it and has his own weight issues, so he sometimes sabatoges me without meaning to. Rugman, you're totally right on about the eating being my control factor. That's how I got in this mess in the first place (besides genetics, too)! Sometimes eating is the only thing that makes me feel good at the moment, even though I don't feel good afterwards. I'll have to try the rubberband thing. I think sometimes I want to eat and I don't even think about it. I do try really hard to stop and ask myself if I'm really hungry or if I'm "feeling" something. I still sometimes eat something, regardless of the answer, but it's usually less or is a better choice. I am angry about not being in control in the other areas. I've been in counseling before (I had a heart attack two years ago and saw a therapist to deal with my anger and depression after it) and maybe it would be a good idea to go again. Actually, the best thing I did during that time period was take a class on mindfulness based stress reduction. I was part of a study that was looking at the effects of mindfulness (including, but not limited to, meditation) on cardiac patients. I loved it and regular meditation made a huge impact on my control issues. A meditation group is something I would love to find, but being a stay-at-home mom doesn't give me a lot of time or opportunity for something like that. And honestly, it's not the same for me when I do it alone. Something about the energy of being with other people makes a big difference for me. Oh well. I'll have to keep looking. Thanks again for the responses! I was actually down a couple of pounds this morning, so I feel a lot better. :thumbup:

I take aspirin every day, per doc's order for a heart condition. But it is a "baby" aspirin. I take lots of other meds, too. I usually drink a lot of Water or take them right before I eat, so they don't make me sick. My main no-no's are drinking during and after meals and eating too fast. That's something I really struggle with. I have little kids and my husband is a really fast eater (too fast!) and I get left at the table a lot. They're not trying to be rude, but one can expect little ones to sit still for only so long. My husband is too hyper to sit still for long, either. So I really have to work at remembering to eat slowly. I don't have a problem chewing a million times - been stuck enough times to remember that! It's the taking time between bites that I forget. I eat so much less when I remember to do this.

Actually, my question is about swallowing Vitamins. I've been taking the chewable centrums for a few months, but I really don't like them. I've started taking my old Shaklee vitamins that I took before I had surgery and I feel such a difference! I have more energy, my hair loss slowed down finally (although I seem to be one of the few who's actually enjoyed losing some hair - I can actually do stuff with it now!), etc. The only annoying part is that I've been cutting them into rough thirds or quarters because they're so huge! Does anyone else do this? I'm afraid to swallow a larger piece because it would be so awful to have it get stuck! What would I do if a pill got stuck anyway? But I tell ya, they are not tasty when they've been cut! And the edges aren't smooth so it sometimes hurts. Plus, they crumble, so I lose some of the Vitamin. And I'm supposed to take two a day! Needless to say, I don't always do that. But I do notice the difference even taking only one, which tells me I may as well flush those Centrum down the can. I keep meaning to go to the natural food place and compare my Shaklee with the chewables they have there, but I just haven't yet. My clinic's nutritionist thinks I'm a vitamin snob, but I feel a difference. So I'd really like to find a better vitamin than Centrum or the others like it. All that to ask, what do the other vitamin snobs do? Do y'all cut your vitamins up or have you found a better alternative? Thanks. :biggrin2:

I'm tight in the morning too and am a night eater. It honestly sounds to me like you're not getting nearly enough protein or calories. Foods like cereal and soups are not really good band foods from what I understand. Lots of carbs and lots of liquids don't keep you full. All carbs aren't bad, of course, but choose ones that will stick with you better. Here are a few things I do (most of which have already been suggested!): - Eat protein. Keep cheese snacks, almonds, whatever, handy. I always make extra grilled chicken and if I'm hungry, I'll grab a piece. I also like cheese and whole wheat crackers or a small (saucer sized) plate of nachos with salsa. - Eat dinner later and keep it protein heavy. If I eat dinner at 5:30, I'm hungry by 10:00. But if I eat dinner at 7:00, then I'm good for the rest of the evening. This is hard with kids, but I've done it. I find I eat less when I eat without my family, too. - Drink something warm with a little fat: tea or coffee with cream (I use half and half). I don't like hot chocolate, but I could see how that would really hit the spot! Make it with milk so you get calcium. - Go to bed early. This helps me a ton! I hate going to bed and am a total night person. But, I get hungry and I make bad food choices. So I've been really trying to make myself go to bed on time because I won't eat once I'm in my pj's and have brushed my teeth. This goes with Hairband's very good suggestion to think about why you're eating what you're eating. Night eating is a habit that is really hard to break. So you need to make new habits for yourself. - If I feel the need for something sweet, I keep a stash of dark chocolate peanut M&Ms. With these, I get both a little sweet (I'm not a sweets person in general) but i can also tell myself they have protein! LOL! Just be sure to measure out what you want (5 or 6) and then put the bag away! And eat them one at a time and chew reeeeaallly sloooowly. :wink2: And seriously, if you're hungry, eat. The band is not about starving yourself. If you're too hungry, you need a fill. The band is supposed to supress your hunger to the point that you can think about your choices and make good ones. My doc tells me I should be getting about 800-1000 calories a day. That is not starvation. Your body needs energy to function, especially if you're exercizing a lot. But eat before you're so hungry you can't wait any longer. One of my favorite meals is a whole wheat grilled cheese sandwich with lots of shaved chicken, honey mustard and tomato, raw spinach, avacado and whatever other veggies I can fit on it. I can only eat a half a sandwich, but there is so much nutrition packed into it! And it only takes a few minutes to make and it tastes like you ordered it in a restaurant. Sorry to write such a long post, but since I've struggled with this, too, I wanted to tell you what helps me! Good luck! Always remember, tomorrow is another day!

Yes, I own the Vitamin snob title. LOL! No, I have no costco near me. It a source of neverending sadness. :wink2: I have heard a rumor that one is coming though, so I'll keep that in mind. I do wonder if a liquid vitamin wouldn't work better for me. I take a lot of medications so I'm already swallowing so many things that the vitamin seems like just more work. Lovekatz, you're lucky. I don't even want to try swallowing something big. What would I do if it did get stuck? Ack.

I was banded about the same time as you! I've gotten a bit stuck myself lately, but I think this last fill is the right amount. For myself, I know that means I need to kick it in gear a little. You exercise way more than I do! Good for you! I find, too, that sometimes it takes a while for the scale to catch up to what is going on in my body. For me, weight seems to come off in "chunks." I'll lose four pounds one week and then none for a few weeks. I figure this is a long process and as long as I feel good and my clothes are still getting looser, I'm ok! Be sure to voice your concern to your doc. If you don't feel that your hunger is under control, you need a fill. I think that I'm at the point where I really have to start dealing with the emotional hunger now that I have the physical hunger pretty well dealt with. Can you go to your doc sooner? Mine still has me seeing him every 3 - 4 weeks until I stop needing fills and then we'll move to every couple of months. But he's told me that if I don't feel the fill is enough to call him sooner. Good luck! I totally understand the discouragement since I feel it sometimes, too, but just remember that this is a process, not a quick fix. You're doing great so far and should be very proud of yourself! The changes you're making now will benefit you for the rest of your life. :wink_smile:

Since my surgery, I'm not hungry until mid-morning. If I eat around 10:30 a.m., I'm not hungry until mid-afternoon, about 4:00. Of course, this is only an hour or two before my family eats dinner. It feels weird to not eat when they do, but I'm just not hungry! If I can either hold off until closer to lunchtime, or I eat Breakfast and am then on a regular schedule, it's not so bad, but that's not really how I feel good. I end up just sitting with my family while they eat and I drink my Water or whatever. Of course, then I'm hungry again around 9:30 at night. I can sometimes go a whole day without eating a true "fixed" meal - it's usually just leftovers or tuna salad or something. How do other people handle this? It's mostly an issue because I have three little kids and want to be modeling a more healthy eating style (slowly, smaller bites, etc.) and appropriate portions. Plus, I don't like missing out on some yummy meal that I've cooked! And I'm a pretty decent cook, too. :rolleyes2: Any suggestions? Thanks!

Thanks for the replies! Sometimes I do have a Protein shake in the morning and that works pretty well, since they only abate hunger for a couple of hours. I'm really not hungry first thing and even if I am, if I eat something, it ends up getting stuck (even shakes do sometimes if they're really thick). I usually just have coffee. So, probably the suggestions to have something small and then move to a regular schedule is what I should do. Or having something smaller in the afternoon would probably work, too. I do have to remember to eat *before* I'm totally starving. If I wait too long, suddenly I reach a point where I'm just so hungry that I can barely think. I'm still learning how to work this. It's quite a process to figure out what's best! Thanks again!

My neighbor was outside the other day and commented how great I'm looking. I said thank you. Then she asked how much weight I've lost. Um, excuse me? None of your business. I just said, "A lot. I feel great!" That put an end to it.

I usually stay away from burgers - I find them too hard to chew enough. I like the McD's fish sandwich with either no bread or a little of the bottom part. I also get whatever sandwich I want and don't eat the bread. I cut everything up because it helps with bite size. I do eat chicken nuggets occasionally (don't shoot me!) but the two younger kids and I get a 10-piece and share it. Only one kid likes fries, so if we get any at all, I just have couple. I still love them, but I'm satisfied with just a couple instead of eating a large! We don't eat a lot of fast food, but it is usually McD's because I can get the apples and milk for the kids. I like Chipotle and usually get at least two, usually three, meals out of it. I don't eat KFC at all - it always makes me sick. At Wendy's, I get a chicken sandwich or chili. I'm not a big salad eater. I'd rather have more Protein and eat the tomato that comes on the sandwich as my veggie. I also really like pizza, but I don't eat much of the crust. I fill up too fast and feel bloated. I just eat the toppings. I used to do that as a kid and it drove my mom nuts. I feel vindicated.

This is a toughie for me. Like others said, I treat MYSELF so much better now that it's hard to know whether I was really treated differently because of my weight or because of my attitude and self-hatred. My FIL says I'm now more like the person I was when I first got married. I think I'm more friendly now, more outgoing, less judgemental and less negative. I think that makes me more attractive to people, men and women alike. I know I spend WAAAY less time thinking about how much worse I look than other people. I don't compare myself as much and am not so down on myself. In fact, I spent the weekend recently with a friend and two of her friends, one of whom is a yoga/pilates teacher and the other is a personal trainer! But not once did I berate myself for not being as pretty, as fit, as whatever, as the other girls. Instead, I enjoyed my too-big clothes (I have nothing that fits right now) and my ability to walk all over the place and got fitness advice from them! I was never the one to get lots of male attention, even when I was more thin and single. So I haven't noticed anything different in that, and since I'm married, I don't really care. And my friends are my friends, regardless of my weight. I guess people do treat me differently now, but I don't think my weight was the primary reason, except as how it affected my own sense of self. However, I was not severely obese. I do think truly obese people are discriminated against and treated differently, regardless of their friendliness or disposition.

I don't really know if this is the right place to post this, but I'm going to anyway. :tongue: I'm a little frustrated today. I'm having a "fat" day. I haven't had one of those in months! I've been hungry all day, but I know it's not real hunger. I've been trying to drink lots of Water and such, but I'm just not feeling very successful today. I had my second fill almost two weeks ago and I lost two pounds but haven't lost any more. And I gain a pound back every now and then (and then lose it the next day) depending on my water retention. I know that my weight loss has been pretty good, but I still wish it would go a little faster right now. I don't know if I need another fill because on normal days I'm pretty much in the general restriction zone, although I still feel like I eat too much. I have about 5.5 cc's in my 10 cc Realize band. The doc said if it didn't seem like enough, to come back and get another fill. He'd only put .5 a cc in. It's quite possible I'm PMSing and I've been stressed about some things and I haven't been using my other stress-busting tools like meditation and yoga. So I'm really dealing with a lot of head hunger and emotional desire to eat. I've just felt so great and have been so happy so far that I don't know how to handle a day like this! I suppose I better learn. Thanks for letting me vent. :plane:

I think it's weird that a nutritionist says this. There is no way a multi-vitamin is going to make up for all that lost nutrition. I was told not to eat nuts or things with skins or seeds (like grapes and berries) for three months post-op, which I didn't. I still don't really eat popcorn. I don't eat a lot of salad, just because there's too many veggies compared to Protein for me. But I still eat brocolli (not a lot though - it's really filling!) and even carrots if I chew them really well. And when I do eat fruit, which is not all that often, I eat berries because they have more anti-oxidents. I do eat quite a few tomatoes, because I really like grilled cheese with chicken, spinach and tomato and I make a lot of Greek and Italian food, which both have a lot of tomatoes. I have more trouble with hard boiled eggs and some types of Pasta than with veggies! I think that you should for sure talk to your doctor. I found at my clinic that the info I got from the nutritionist was a little different from what I get from the doctor (and is also different from what I've found in my own study). Most of what she says is right on and she's really helpful. But the doctor is the final word on things. Good luck!

I'm curious if anyone has tried any of the ballet exercise videos? I've read about the NYC Ballet video and I'd like to try it. I've never done ballet, but my daughter is in ballet classes and so we're learning the terminology. I'd like something that both tones muscles, but keeps up a decent pace. I've done Pilates in the past and have the Windsor pilates videos, but I don't like how slow they are. There's just not enough reps for me to feel like I'm getting anything done. I probably feel that way because I first started doing pilates at the club, but I don't go anymore. Can't afford it. Any suggestions? Thanks!

That would be great! Thanks!

I love being banded! For the first time in my life I feel in control of my body. I have had no real complications - yeah, the first week was tough, and the first month was boring (all those full liquids) but now that I'm three months out, it's really a distant memory. I don't feel deprived at all. I've only had one fill so far and while I don't feel a lot of restriction, I know I eat a lot less and I'm losing weight! That's what matters, right? I feel amazing, I'm excited about my future and that is a total miracle. I'm looking forward to summer for the first time that I can remember. I have young children and am so excited that they'll have a mom who can play and be outside. I didn't have that (my mom was heavy my whole life until she had bypass surgery five years ago) and it didn't look good for my kids until this year. I was terrified before I got my band. I have co-morbidities that made the surgery itself a little more dangerous. I was so afraid that I was going to die trying to do something to help me live longer and better. But I didn't die. Didn't even come close. My doctors were great (that's a huge part of this process - trusting your doc!), my clinic nurses are great, my family is great. And now, I've lost weight and I feel like I can do this! There's a lot of information and it can be overwhelming. Some people do have bad experiences, but I think you'll find that most people are glad they did it and wouldn't go back to being fat for anything in the world. I sure wouldn't. Good luck!

My surgeon told me to have the band. LOL! For me, it was mainly the lower complication risk and being less invasive that were important for me. I had other co-morbidity issues (mainly heart issues) and keeping blood loss to a minimum was important, since I had to stay on aspirin and I take plavix, although I did stop that for the surgery. I'm sure that rules out plastic surgery for me! :cool: I have a lower BMI, too. At this point, I'm really glad I had the band. Yeah, it's tedious dealing with restriction and whatnot, but I love the idea that it's adjustable to handle different phases of life. I don't know what will come my way and being able to adjust the band to meet different nutritional needs was very attractive to me, especially since I will most likely have to deal with severe heart problems down the road. I also like the slower weight loss. It's healthier and I don't want more wrinkles than I have to have! You have to do what's best for you. I know quite a few people with bypasses. Some love them. Some wish they'd had a band. The same is true for people with a band. Some love them; some wish they'd had bypass. Check back with me in a year or two and see if I still love this. :eek:

I just had my first fill today! I'm terrified to eat anything. LOL! I'm on Clear liquids for today and then normal eating tomorrow. I'm going to stick to soft foods for sure until I know how this goes. He did it under floro, one stick. He first put in 6 cc's (I have a 10 cc band), but it was too tight, so he took out a little, I'm assuming between 1 and 2 cc's. Future fills will be done in the office unless I have problems. I'm hoping this is all I need, since I had decent restriction (meaning I could eat whatever I wanted, just not a lot!) even before and was still losing, although slooooowly. I feel a little weird. I told him to be conservative because I don't want to throw up! I have stents in my heart and vomiting a lot can be bad. Yay!

Ugh. Bra shopping is something I really hate. I can never find bras that fit me. At this point, I'm probably a 36G or H. I only have 38s right now and one of them I've actually pinned so it fits around me. Unfortunately, I cannot find affordable bras in my size. Walmart and Kohls just don't carry them. I'm seriously considering starting a semi-custom made lingerie company for people like myself who have small band sizes but large cup sizes. I also have very narrow shoulders, so my straps fall off all the time. I just need to learn to sew! LOL! Lane Bryant doesn't have small enough bands for me - the couple I do have are not good quality and don't fit well. One of the few places I've found bras is figleaves.com - Bras, Panties, Swimsuits, and Full Figure Lingerie. They're not cheap, but they're good quality and last forever. I hate the cone shape, too. It reminds me of Madonna and her Blonde Ambition. Gah. I'll look on some of these websites, too, to see if I can find something for myself!

I called my clinic about this and the nurse is going to get back to me after she talks to the doc, but I wanted to see if anyone else has dealt with this. Men might want to stop reading this right now. It seems that my port is right under where my wire for my bra is and it's causing quite a bit of discomfort. Stupid me never asked where the port was going to be placed and I'm concerned that perhaps, given that the surgery was done by men, they didn't take into account my being, um, well-endowed and the fact that gravity and nursing three children has not been kind to my girls. I wear only underwires, so this presents a very real problem. It mostly hurts when I'm sitting or when I bend over. It's almost like the wire digs in behind the port. The nurse assured me I wouldn't hurt my port and said that as I lose weight, the port shifts down and to the left (it's on my left, right below my rib cage), so this will probably go away. But sometimes it really hurts! Like I said, the nurse is going to talk to the doctor tomorrow. I go in for my first fill in two weeks and it will be done with floro, but that's a while. I can feel the port right below the wire. I have lost almost 30 lbs, so maybe some of my padding is gone, but this location will not work long term. And no, I can't switch to soft cup bras. Has this happened to anyone else? Ack, help! LOL!