LilAngel

I have seen this once or twice in certain threads. I wish there was too. In the meantime I use myvirtualmodel.com. It doesn't really look just like me, but it helps. It is supposed to be for shopping purposes, but there is no way in this world I would buy something with out trying it on. Not with these hips! lol. Maybe it works for some though. Have fun!

Thanks for the link to your site! I checked out the stats and pics and you guys are amazing! Congrats to you! I feel so motivated right now!

I have pondered this question from time to time also. I thought about the exact thing you did concerning building new habits. I wondered if I could ever not be dependent on the band if I did develop healthy habits and stuck to them for a few years. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, I believe the answer is that I could not maintain a lower weight without the band. Without even having the band yet, I still believe that I will need to leave it in place because it is psychology and addiction that drives my bad choices. I often equate the band to that moment I spoke about in your thread the other day, pouring out all my alcohol, cleaning out the cabinets and not going to a bar if I were an alcoholic. I look at it like my only physical power/control mechanism to abstain from the extra food I do not need. If I were an alcoholic who had my addiction in remission for a few years, having the addictive personality that I do, I doubt I would suddenly stock the bar at home again just because I thought I had developed better habits. The temptation is too great. For the same reason I will not unfill or remove the band, as the temptation is too great and the risk to dangerous. Maybe this is not the case for everyone. I suppose it depends on what drives their unhealthy choices in the first place. For me, however, once banded, banded for life. Hope that makes sense.

You are amazing! Congrats to you!!!!!

I think you guys really have it here. ADDICTION. However, a lot of medical folks don't see it that way because there are not physical withdrawal symptoms associated with the removal of certain addicting foods like there are with removing a substance like heroin. That seems quite silly to me. Yes, I actually heard this from a medical professional. Everyone old enough to sleep by themselves would know that anything could be addicting. What about cigarettes? Isn’t it true that the actual physical addiction to the chemicals is over rather quickly, but the emotional addiction can last forever? Same with alcohol, yes? So how can that line of thinking be valid? Granted, I have also heard other professionals validate eating as an addiction. But why is that important? It is certainly not because I need someone to tell me I am addicted to something to make me feel better. I know I am already. I don’t need to be told. But validation is necessary at the society and mass media level because this is why people think you can “just do it.” They see a fat person and they do not see a sad addiction to a substance we can never completely avoid. They do not realize that not being addicted isn’t as simple of emptying our cabinets of alcohol (or pick your poison) and not going to a bar. Not that I think that would be easy, but as a comparison, consider that not over-eating and eating bad foods is an addition you consciously fight three meals a day-MINIMUM, while actually partaking in the actual substance that is killing you because you must eat in order to stay alive. Oh, how we quickly judge. I have always said, I do not judge others who are addicted to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes etc. I have been fortunate enough not to have those addictions. However, I certainly have my own, food. So I try not to judge and I try not nagging my BF to quit smoking. We talk about getting help instead. That is the discussion folks should be having around the issue of obesity, not will power or how gross people look because of fat. Right, as if drug addictions are attractive. Okay, I am off my soapbox now. But that is one that always hits me hard. I dated a guy long term once who was never addicted to anything and we were really from different planets because of that. That is when all of this came to the surface for me. <O:p Luckily, my BF now does understand, and even took out a loan against his house to help me get the surgery in September. I thought he would think I was nuts at first, but he actually did a lot of the convincing by stressing the long-term effects of the weight. He often pointed out how it has affected his mother’s life and doesn’t want that for me. He doesn’t think I can do it alone, and couldn’t believe I felt ashamed for admitting I was not able to. Why can’t the rest of the world just think like my guy? Wow…I need to call him and tell him he is great. J Thanks for listening to my rant.

Odd. I just had a similar conversation with a good friend this weekend. She is 5’9” and her largest weight was 170. I, of course, wish I were 170, but I respect that, as someone who had self-esteem issues already, this was still devastating for her. The good thing, however, was that she was pretty healthy and athletic and able to just hit the gym and lose the weight. She is also one of those odd sorts who naturally have a will of steel and is very disciplined with her food choices. She is now 137 lbs and a nice size 8. Yet, she cannot see that she is attractive. Imagine that, a size 8 and such a tiny waist! She said she has given up on seeing herself as thin. She decided just to believe what people tell her and go completely on that. Otherwise, she knows she is an anorexic disaster just waiting to happen. After all of that, I thought “Won’t that be a kick in the a$$. I will finally get down to a size 10 and still hate myself.” I don’t know that I will ever get down to a size like that, but when I look back at pictures of me at 140lbs, 150lbs, and sizes I dream about now, I remember that I was horrified with my size even then. Heck I remember even thinking I had a “fat belly” when I was a very small child. Sad part is that I was incredibly underweight at that age. What a head case. Can counseling really help with this? Is this what anorexics are coached through in counseling but they just handle it differently? How can we ever see what we are? How will we be happy? What causes this phenomenon? I didn’t even watch TV as a young girl. Is it really the media? I don’t know. These are questions I think a lot of us deal with. I guess I am just hoping to do what my friend does…just listen to everyone else and try not to become an obsessed mess. Not the loftiest goal in the world, but a start. I would love to hear from others on this idea of body image for more perspective. Thanks.

That is fantastic news!! Good luck. Keep us posted on your progress!

I have been waiting for the day I could post that, just taking my moment…J September the 12th, finally, it will happen. WEEEEE!!! I am so excited. Of course, I could almost puke from nervousness, but I WILL forge ahead. I have been waiting for some good financing options and it has finally happened! (My boyfriend is actually borrowing the money for me. What a doll! He has a home and much better credit!) Anyway, I had to share. YEA!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for listening!! I am off to make a ticker!

THAT IS FANTASTIC NEWS! I am trying to finish a degree right now myself and I know that is no easy task. Way to go!

;-) Congrats To You!!! Great Job! ;-)

This might work for you too... My boss almost denied my vacation request about an hour ago, so I just said, "Well I really didn't want to discuss this with anyone, which is why I requested vacation in the first place, but I am having surgery and need the time to recover. I will be back to work no problem in a few days though." I think he assumed it was "girly," but serious since I was keeping it close to the vest. He didn't push any further, and granted the time without question at that point. Not dishonest in the least, maybe just intentionally misleading? Hope all is going/went well.

Good lord. Even when I know it's bad, I can't stay away. I am so bad I will drink some coffee (it cleans me out completely, if you know what I mean-sorry that's gross), still not eat for an hour or two and go back for a second early morning weigh in before I will eat breakfast. What the heck is wrong with me? I think when I finally start losing it is only going to get worse. God help me. :nervous

This is a second-hand story, so take it with a grain of salt. My cubicle buddy at work has a sister with the band. He told me that she became very very ill with a Vitamin D deficiency. He said she should have been taking supplements but did not. She is only now able to walk again, but lost her job as an attorney because her short-term memory has never completely returned. I thought this sounded horrifying, but yet he seemed to believe it was all preventable. Now obviously we need to be eating right, but I wondered if any one knew about other experiences like this, or if maybe you can let me know what your doctor told you about taking vitamin supplements, getting the proper nutrition etc. I just am trying to still get a better idea of the things I will need to do to make sure I stay healthy after the band, not just thin. <O:p</O:p Thanks!<O:p</O:p Angel

Wow, thanks guys for all the great responses. Now looks like I need to be researching vitamins choices! If anybody else has reccommendations on the type to take, keep 'em coming! Thank you!!

I once revealed a medical condition after a long time of holding my tongue. I felt like you, I caved and wanted to tell I guess, in a way. But I have forever regretted that decision as I felt that them knowing followed me everywhere. They were good to me about it as far as time off goes. I eventually had to do FMLA. But the bottom line is, even though I think it was not of a malicious nature, it was why I was never going anywhere there. I quit last November. I have kept it to myself here at my new job and I am treated completely differently and have a lot of choices and support in my career growth. Maybe that nasty stuff won't happen in your case, but just so you know... And yeah, who knows if it really will get out, but all you can do about that is trust the system. Probably if it does, you will never know anyway, so you might as well not stress about that part. Just do what you think is right assuming it will be kept confidential. I have vacation time, so I don't plan on mentioning my surgery until it is over, and I have adjusted to the idea myself. I just work better that way. Of course, that could take a while... Good luck. Angel

Hey Jenna, Add me to you list! Thanks for all your help. Looks like it is going to happen for me! YEA!!!! Angel

It's just sad how many people think that is true. Makes me crazy. Even more so when I say it to myself. But yet, I did "make up my mind," if you will, because I am getting banded before the years end. YEA! I am sure that is not what they had in mind, but that shows ya what they know. OK, back to topic, does it count that so many people on this board have motivated me? I feel like I am winning an Oscar and just have so many people to thank! Anyway, this is just my quick thanks for all you supportive folks on here who share so much. I can't wait to change my life. So Vinesqueen, you might want to rethink that statement. You are a huge inspiration. Thank you! Thank you all. Angel

Good perspective Alex! That makes feel a lot better about doing this going in. I like that view. Thanks!

Jodie, I am so glad you are finally getting what you have wanted for so long! You know, you can always feel guilty about something. Just don't make this one of those things. You are doing the right thing. Wishing you the best with surgery! Angel

Do I ever know what you mean! Unfortunately, I am that way even when I am thinner. ARGH! I have an extensive collection of belts for that very reason. The only thing I can say to you on the matter, tho, is just to give it time. You are not to the goal line yet, right? You might be surprised how much your body will change (postively!) before all is said and done. Nice that you are getting compliments, tho, huh? Way to go.

Oh my! I wish I had some answers! Losing weight is so completely foreign to me, that I still have not figured out why the body fights us so hard to maintain its chunk-o supply. People are always saying to me when I diet, “Well, your body is just trying to maintain itself. Like self-preservation!” I always think to myself, “What the hell is wrong with you?! Do I look like I am starving to death?” But honestly, they are probably right! Yipes! And so the mystery continues… I can tell you this, though. I have been on these boards for only a short while during this pre-band time, but I am always delighted to see when you post. You seem really great and I wish all the best for you. I was truly saddened to see you so down. DO NOT GIVE UP! Maybe with this next fill, things will slowly start to turn around. This probably isn’t very helpful at the moment, but I will have you in my thoughts and will be back to see how you are doing. -Angel

Can't seem to get a consistent line on this one. I have a nasty case of hypoT and I get conflicting info on it with the band. Some docs seem to say no-go if you have it. Others say it is not a contraindication. Does anyone else deal with this icky hypoT bit and have the band? If so, any issues? What did your doc say? Thanks, Angel

It is a relief to know that it is something reasonable. Thanks for the replies. I will be sure to post when I finally commit to this. Yipes! Excited and nervous all at once.

Do you mind to drop his name? It's always good to flag someone like that to prevent others ending up in the same situation. Thanks. Angel

Jodie, You just hang in there. People don’t deal with change very well, or especially things that they can’t relate to or don’t understand at all. This will be a very difficult time for you all around, but don’t lose sight of the goal. You are going to start a new life and the friends you will have in this new life you may not even know yet. Why is it you can’t go alone? Are you nervous about flying solo, or do you live with your parents and it has to do with having permission? Some of my most favorite trips to the movies were on my own. I was single for four years and often had no friends around to hang with. It took some getting used to at first, but I really liked it after a while. Especially not having to compromise on what movie I wanted to see, and not having to justify liking my girly flicks. And I could cry at the end all I wanted! Sorry, I am still a sucker for a romantic comedy/ or love story. J Long story short, those folks are being selfish and are completely clueless. Just go it alone, if you can. If not, dig into some music, or maybe create something! Got any creative threads in those bones? It is a great way to entertain yourself. Best Wishes - Angel