Jachut

It worries me a bit, as it seems to be the rule here left side under the ribs. I carry my daughter on my left hip, you know how it's totally natural to do it on oneside and completely unco to do it on the other? I'll put my back out carrying her on my right hip! I know it'll be tender for a while after surgery but I can image a toddler gripping on with her legs will irritate it a bit too.

I'm not banded yet but I already find if I dont eat in the mornings I am less hungry during the day and can make it to a late lunch no problems. I tend to then eat a substantial lunch that gets me through to dinner and hence no afternoon snacking. yet I do eat Breakfast because we've been told so often its bad for your metabolism not to. And certainly in periods where I havent eaten breakfast I havent lost any weight.

Heather I'm in the same place as you, about the same amount of weight to lose. I began thinking about a band, one surgeon told me no, but I"ve since discovered that in Australia medicare pays more for patients who are morbidly obese and less for the less severely afflicted so there are some surgeons who only operate on the patients that put the most dollars in their pockets. I went to a lap band information session last night and I came away FINALLY feeling sure that this is for me. I was nervous before going, I was concerned at turning up with all of my 35kg weight problem and offending those in really dire straits. I did get some dirty looks too. But there was another woman there the same size as me. The surgeon was such a nice man and ever so respectful of the issues behind obesity - and he will consider patients of 30 BMI or above, but of course the focus is on 40+. He explained to me that at a lower BMI, the proportionate improvement in health problems (if you have any) is much lower because you're not as fat, the health problems not as bad and the weight not as much a contributing factor. But that it is still a VERY valid choice. I am starting to get the picture that in Australia, simply having been overweight all your life and having tried everything you can to lose it means the band will be considered medically necessary - our private health funds dont argue to and fro with the surgeon and require proof of your incapacity etc. I was specifically interested because there's about 2 months lead time in the process between first consult and surgery, maybe more, and I dont want to sit on my fat butt doing nothing in that time, not least because I need to fit into my summer clothes once summer rolls around down under! I was concerned that if I'm just a BMI 35 now, I could be as low as 32 or so by the time I got into theatre and that I would disqualify myself. Now I know that I could lose 5 or so kg (and indeed already have from my highest point), but what I also know is that in six months time, not only will that 5kg be back but so will another 2 or 3. He acknowledged that and pointed out that statistically, the chances of losing 70lb and keeping it off are non existant. It just never happens to normal people. So even if this is more of a cosmetic procedure for me and I dont have the comorbidities (apart from a very injured foot and ankle) its entirely valid and most importantly its a PREVENTATIVE. You and I are very lucky that we get to make this choice now before our problem gets even worse. I've ummed and aahed about this but I've decided I"m going to do it. Hope that helps.

I have more compassion these days, I think its humbling for me to realise that its only a matter of degree really - I have all the same head issues. But yes, I do it too. Particularly when it comes to fat kids. I look at fat people with their fat kids walking round the shopping centre eating hot chips or all the people sitting in the foodcourt stuffing their faces with McDonalds and I think "that is disgusting, its one thing to kill yourself but not your kids. Wake up to yourself". Perhaps its because I do make a supreme effort to feed my kids well, organic produce, not much processed foods. Our family diet is a very healthy one and my eating issues are my own. I walk my kids to school a few mornings a week (its a long walk), I ensure they play plenty of team sports like basketball and football and I keep an eye on their diet. So I am very judgemental of other parents who allow their kids to fill up on rubbish. Yet, by not treating myself well, I'm not really doing any favours for my kids am I?

I would handle a plateau with exercise personally. If you're walking, start to jog. Up your weights at the gym. Do something different a few times, like swimming. Just mix it up. I firmly believe you need to eat to lose weight. I'm not a believer in ultra low calorie diets or fasting, they only have their place when weight is a life or death issue in the very immediate future - like if you need surgery or something. Otherwise I dont believe you're doing anything positive towards maintaining your metabolism. To have a healthy metabolism you need muscle and by dieting extremely or fasting you're burning your muscles for energy.

Does the scar go in the same spot a caesarean scar is - like right down low about the pubic bone? Just interested, I'd suspect I probably wouldnt ever need one - still in my 30's, not too enormous a weight problem and blessed with good skin genes, dont have a single stretch mark after 3 babies. But you never know do you? I'll definitely need to do something about the old bazoongas - I've breastfed for 6 years in total! They look bad now, they'll be deflated baloons minus a bit of weight. My DH is already dreaming about a holiday to Thailand - our equivalent of Mexico for all things cosmetic.

well thankfully I've only had once caesar too but I doubt a tummy tuck is in the future for me. You never know though.

My DH is right behind me if I feel this is what I need to do but when he was complaining about his back last night (he's about 25kg overweight too) I said to him "would you consider this too?". He said "no, I wouldnt risk a general anaesthetic with you and the kids to consider for something I should be able to handle on my own". I said no more about it but I was thinking on it more later on. He had a long surgery for compartment syndrome in both his legs about 2 years ago, our little girl was only 7 months old at the time and we've got two older boys. Why can people not view obesity as a debilitating condition that needs to be fixed, just as his compartment syndrome was, just as the heel spurs and wisdom teeth I've had removed under general anaesthetic were. Why can he watch one of those plastic surgery shows and tell me if I get all this weight off I can get my boobs done? Like why is it OK to mutilate your body to stick a few bits of silicone in your chest, but not OK to get banded to ensure you live 15 years longer in comfort and health. That your sore, wounded self esteem is fixed? Its nuts.

Someone mentioned to me on another board that like me they're a lowish BMI patient and they had several comments in the hospital along the lines of "why would you need to be doing this?" It just shows the depth of misunderstanding. Ok, so by sheer luck, in my body I'm just a fat person. In my head I'm morbidly, severely, eternally obese! Its not about your body, its about your head! What I hope this will do for me, if indeed my low (well relatively) BMI doesnt prevent it being done at all - is that by preventing me physically from relying on comfort food to any great extent in the times when I eat inappropriately (boredom, stress etc), I will eventually lose the focus on food other than at times of real hunger. Its an operation to fix my head, not my body. My body is the symptom, not the cause.

I guess when I'm a bikini model they can airbrush it out anyway.

It's one of the things Im most afraid of. Anaesthetics make me morose and weepy anyway. Will I come home and cry over what I have done? Do you find enormous challenges in overcoming the reasons you overate despite the band stopping you from doing so. I can picture myself prowling the house desperate to relieve those feelings that I used to eat to relieve. At the moment, I think about food and my weight constantly. What I'm not going to eat, how I'm going to avoid it, how I can get away with eating it, etc etc. Does that ever go away? What I would like is to one day be a normal person who eats whatever they feel like eating when they're hungry, until their not hungry and then not think about food again until hunger strikes? Can this ever really happen? If it can, if you can achieve that do you think its to do with physical hunger or is it a psychological journey? Do I really need a band to undertake that journey? I really feel like I"ve seen a light these last few days. I now know what I have to do but I'm not sure if I need a band to do it.

It's because I'm so much taller than you - my ideal weight will be lots higher than yours too - at 159 cms yours will be down in the 50 kg's I'd imagine, mine is about 75kgs. Same amount of weight spread out over a much longer body. 110kgs is about 30-40 kgs overweight for me, 50 + kgs overweight for you, kwim? I'd also have more weight in bone, muscle mass etc. But BMI is not that accurate either by the way - it doesnt really take into account how muscular (or not) you may be. If you have lots of muscle you will weigh more than someone with less, but not be fatter.

Yeah well DH's GP told him it was easy to lose weight - he said if you work at a desk all day there's no need for lunch! I dont know anything about the medical profession over there but the standard of GP care over here can sometimes be pretty appalling. Bulk billing has killed the trusted family doctor that's for sure. But I've read the same thing, I dont think it tends to be true here, our private health insurance covers everything bar cosmetic procedures, but I said to myself if that's what they wanted I would see a dietician and make every effort and try to get the most out of it that I could - and that in a year's time I could well be at goal weight. Not likely probably but possible.

I'm 107kg now at 5ft 10 so I've slipped down to 34. Doug has a set of dumbells, I could hide the 3kg weights in my jeans pockets, what do you reckon? (just joking, lol). I'm losing it fine but its the same old story, get a bit off, get away from panic weight, start to feel better and the motivation just goes out the window. There is no way I've got the strength for the long haul all the way down to 70kg or so without help. That said though, I'd be thrilled to get back to 80, something that once seemed massively fat to me. Big day for me will be when i pass under 90kg though - I will cease to be obese. Boy how I hate that word. I will just be overweight then.

Yes its only since I've really stopped to think about this as a disease that I've given the band consideration. Even comments I've made on here a few short weeks ago show that I hadnt got my head round that. The linking of your morals and your weight is absurd, yet its precisely why we all feel shame about our bodies. Because its not an invisible disease is it?

The counting calories issue concerns me too. I do not want to live my life obsessed with the little buggers. What I want to be able to do is eat when I'm hungry, eat what I want (and sometimes that will be bad, lol) and only eat to the point of being satisfied. I feel if I do that, then calorie wise it should naturally fall into place. Thin people as a general rule do not go about counting calories. To count calories (or WW points) to me means you start going - I really want that Mars Bar but its 5 points so if I eat no Breakfast and just have an apple for lunch then I can have it AND have a wine at dinner time. That's self defeating if you ask me. Yet you do need to know what you're putting in your mouth so I'd say at least during the actual weight loss phase, you need to be counting, and certainly when you hit a plateau.

It is - what I said there a few weeks back I still believe, only I've come back round to thinking a band will help me achieve all of that, not be an easy way out. I think its the reality check of fine, I may lose weight and I may lose a lot but will I keep it off. I honestly dont know anybody who has lots a lot of weight and kept it off! I do feel like if I dont go ahead, I've learned a lot about losing weight that I hadnt realised before. But I've also learned that particular surgeon has his own opinion which aint necessarily shared by other surgeons. So I'm going to see someone else. But I have lost 5kg!!!! Yay :-)

It is amazing, I figured I may as well start the chew chew chew, eat slowly thing right now even though I may not ever get a band. To say that it markedly reduces what you can eat is the understatement of the century. I cant eat half what I used to in one sitting. Now, of course, I just get hungry sooner, so I'm not actually eating that much less, lol. But I had a latte and a piece of caramel slice while out this morning, I couldnt finish the slice. It was so rich, and when you eat it slowly like I did, the richness gets to you before you've finished. I left half of it there with no compunction! It would have made me feel sick to eat anymore.

I'm really struggling with not trying to think "I want to lose 20kg by Christmas". The wait between seeing a surgeon and getting the band, and then to the first fill, will drive me nuts. I wont be able to resist dieting. I know I'll do it on pure willpower in that time. I'm sure if I go ahead and then get to look back I'll be able to see that's silly. I sure wish I could go back though and see that 75kg on a 5ft 10 frame is not fat - and not go comfort eating because of my depression over my "huge" size.

He is supportive but I just dont think he "gets" it, kwim? I'm not goign to have to fight him for it, he just wants me to be happy. But he does think that people should be able to lose the weight themselves. Despite being a bit of a fatty himself and not having been able to do anything about it for the last 20 years! Despite not being able to control himself after a long day at work barely eating, he eats 3 servings of whatever's for dinner (and then bitches because I've blown the grocery budget, he just ate what was meant to feed us for 2 nights). My mum said something similar. She said "well, I"lll support you in what you choose, you have to do what's right for you" but she also said "what about weight watchers (for like the 30th time), I'll come with you". She cant see the fact that she's lost and regained the same 15kg for the last 30 years as significant. She believes WW will work if you stick to it. My sis just lost 12kg with WW and looks gorgeous. But she's regaining it already. Dieting. Does. Not. Work. Changing your eating habits in achievable ways does. But what's the moral crime in needing help to do that? Smokers get nicotine Patches dont they?

Nursing on 1000 calories a day!!!!!! You are putting yourself at great risk doing that, your baby is getting everything he/she needs but you're leaching your bones of their calcium and severely depriving yourself of energy. Seriously you need to eat more. You could be anaemic or just plain exhausted and depleted. Its hard enough to run just your own body on that small an intake. Since you're banded and therefore limited in what you can physically fit in, you really probably should see a nutritionist - even if it means getting in some calcium and energy in liquid form - like fruit smoothies, yogurt and pureed fruit etc.

Seeing Mr Crosthwaite at Cotham Private - is he nice?

I've thought more and more on this, and think I will do it. Like I wanted to, I have lost some weight, a couple of kilograms over the last few weeks. This research process has taught me a few valuable lessons. But looking at how far I have to go, I know I cant do it alone. I know statistics are WAY against me losing 30kg and keeping it off. So I'm seeing somebody next week, and I'm going to an information session Wednesday night. I think I really needed a bit of extra time to get my head around just what this will mean long term, but I'm a bit more comfortable with that now. Boy you just dont realise how many emotions and psychoses are tied up with your weight until you really analyse it do you?

I may still have some head work to do before I'm ready for a band. I understand totally that you still have to work on your eating habits and develop new, good ones. You cant be healthy if you live on rubbish. But I would call eating a cheeseburger and small fries for dinner a big victory, personally. I mean, I can wolf down a quarterpounder, large fries AND a sundae with ease at the moment. And I tell myself its allright because I dont drink soft drink. I mean, sheesh, woudlnt want any empty calories now would I? Surely its still what you do 90% of the time that matters. And eating like a thin person is the goal right? Watch a thin person one day. They still eat McDonalds, they just dont gorge on it. Which is exactly what you did! And everyday is a new day, its never too late to get back on track. Plateaus are disheartening banded or not, its a good time to up your exercise.

Am I the only person in the world who cant stand ice cream?