Jachut

Even 17 months out, I could not hide the fact from my husband that I cannot eat like I used to, and that occasionally I get blocked up and twice have PB'd. He's going to notice that. Not to mention spending $16,000 without your husband knowing is not what I'd call a good honest basis for a realtionship unless you keep your finances totally separate and dont feel obliged to each other in that regard at all. In our relationship, spending $16,000 without telling him, well I think we'd probably break up over something like that. We're in this marriage together for the long haul and taking out loans on the sly is not the way to make a success of that. If you dont think he'll be on board about it, its not like you have to "ask permission". I'd be up front. I'd say "I really WANT to do this and I really NEED to do this so I am doing it and I hope you'll support me in it". But I wouldnt be dishonest about it.

No, I've never been tight so havent needed to. But I wouldnt tolerate being too tight, I'd be in for one right away.

I'm more open in the mornings than I am at night so I can eat well for breakfast. I find I run better for longer with a big hit of good carbs in the morning - oatmeal, muesli etc. If I eat eggs or something just Protein based, I run out of steam and am looking for food by 10.30 so a Protein shake (if I could drink one without gagging) wouldnt get me through the morning by a long shot. I've thought about it at night, sometimes at night I'm so tight I cant really eat (maybe 4 or 5 times a month) but I'd really prefer just to have Soup instead. I usually have individual serves in the freezer.

I never discussed calorie levels with my doc, I wouldnt know what I ate unless every now and then I added it up and its always been about 1500 or so, sometimes as much as 1800. With 2.5ml in my band, its more often 1500 these days, unless i happen to eat something high calorie that goes down well. If pressed, my doc would say oh, keep your diet low fat, cut out the white carbs, plenty of fruit and vegetables. That's as much as he'd commit to - he did the surgery, the diet side of it is my job. They're not big on "dieting" with the band where I went, its meant to be more of a lifestyle change, so daily calorie counting isnt emphasised, which temperamentally suits me very well. Still I do add it up now and then because its super easy to start eating more without being aware of it. After so many years of dieting, I know the calorie count of every food known to modern man and I usually mentally tote it up throughout the day.

I cant edit anything either, its driving me crazy

Realising how the band works can be a bit of a shock. You need to learn to work with it, not wait for it to stop you. If you eat slowly enough and chew carefully enough, or eat foods that go down easily for you, you can quite easily eat around the band. What the band will do is help you to find it easier to stop after a reasonable portion. Just because you can eat more doesnt mean you shoudl eat more. If you're not hungry anymore (as opposed to full) you need to stop eating. YOu probably know that and please dont think I'm assuming that you're not practicing it. It sounds like you're not eating a lot though if you've become malnourished enough to be losing hair and it sounds like you need a lot more support from your doctor! If you're that tired that you can barely get out of bed, you need to address this situation. What do you eat on a daily basis? Are you eating what you need? Or could something else be wrong. The fact that you havent loss would seem to me to be reason for seeking further tests, perhaps your thyroid isnt working properly or something else could be wrong. I would go so far as to say exercise is at least AS if not MORE important than what you're eating. It is just plain essential if you want a good result and a result that lasts - so you really need to sort out those energy levels. I feel for you, it would be horribly frustrating to find that its just not working, but i think that amongst a group of obese people, you're definitely going to find a reasonable incidence of health problems such as hypothyroidism, insulin resistance etc etc, there's reasons why people get so fat in the first place. The first place to start would be with your doc to sort this out if you're 100% sure you're doing exactly what you should be doing and still not losing. Good luck, and perhaps try posting this on the main part of the board as well as there's many many more people who've had similar problems.

OK, I can report back on this now that I'm at goal weight. I dont have any real loose skin to speak of. Definitely no PS in my future. I found that as I got close to goal, EVERY tiny kilogram makes a difference and those litte pockets I thought would require lipo did eventually go. Another 6 kg or so from here would definitely take care of the saddlebags, lol. I think I've just been lucky in several respects. I've just got good resilient skin. I got banded before my BMI got past 35. I'm 5ft 10, so I carried my weight all over, I didnt have a big stomach at all, so no parts of me were overstretched. I've got a pretty good self image and self esteem and just really dont care about looking perfect, which is lucky, lol, since I dont. After all of this, if I were to get anythign done it would be a breast lift. But even that I dont really care about since I"m not in the habit of getting around braless.

I was under the understanding from my doc that if you a) dont go too tight and dont eat to the point of actually feeling FULL all of the time you should be right.

Argh, I cant edit since this new format. What I forgot to say is that personally, if you are always comfortable when you finish a meal, dont eat till you feel really FULL, I dont see how you are likely to stretch your pouch out. I think it tends to be a bit different over here which is why I always seem to be going against the grain but honestly, if you're losing weight but not eating till your stomach feel stretched, then you are not overeating. What someone else can or cant eat isnt relevant, and there's no prize for eating the least - in fact if you can eat more and still lose, why would you even want to eat less?

I tend to be the other way round, I could definitely eat a half a salmon pattie and a cup of Pasta at lunch time most days, but not at dinner, I can only eat a very smal dinner. A lean cuisine would leave me pretty full at dinner time. Lately my band has been a lot more variable now and I have periods of days where I can eat only 1/2 cup or so at a time and nothing difficult and then suddenly it passes again.

Yes, this board is just so big and busy that its easy to miss things. Hope you're feeling better Kebsa.

Oooh, physical hunger, I guess I have less. In the first few months it was excellent, my hunger was dampened to the point where it was like being on an appetite suppressant like Duromine, without the side effects. That waned for me, despite more fills. But I dont *think* I have the kind of appetite I had before but then again, I've just kind of learned better eating behaviours too. I dont get physically hungry much anymore, but I have plenty of head hunger. But I ate something really naughty the other day, a meat pie (good old Aussie standby) and I couldnt quite finish the one. Pies and sausage roles used to be our standard Sunday lunch and I'd have 2 pies (they're about 500 calories each) and follow up with a huge donut or custard tart or similar. Disgusting carb and fat filled indulgence. 3/4 of one pie this time and it did me till dinner, so there's a definite difference to a) my hunger levels and my desire to stuff that kind of rubbish into my face. I used to still eat when I was full, now I just stop when satisifed. The band has helped me to do that but there's definitely behaviour modification in there too. But - and this is a big but I think - I chose to do this without dieting. For me, no food is off limits, I will eat anything I want to. I just dont have that sense of deprivation or wanting to sneak things in that were not allowed when I used to diet because I can eat them anyway. I'll never ever go on a diet again. I believe by NOT dieting I have achieved a normal relationship with food and suddenly its not so urgent that I eat everything while its there available.

I made an interesting discovery today. I've never had a problem with spaghetti or lasagne, but today I figured out I cant eat spiral pasta. Ouch! Its very very hard to get down.

I wouldnt hesitate to have an unfill. I got another fill about four weeks ago despite having decided Iprobably wouldnt have anymore. My weight just hadnt moved in about 2 months. I've never wanted to be tight in any way, shape or form and I couldnt see a reason in the world why I personally would need to be as I've lost all my weight quite well on 1500 to 1800 calories a day until the last little bit before goal. So I was perfectly prepared to find myself too tight (for me) and go back and have it removed, I said to my doc "I just want to try this, I'm not sure its what I want but I really want to lose these last 2 or 3 kgs". That was fine by him and as it turned out, just all of my other fills, it made only a teeny bit of difference, not the huge difference I thought it would. Dont hesitate. You cannot be nourished and healthy on 600 calories a day. You'll be starving and you'll end up eating crap that will go down.

Actually I've started having horrible periods for the first time since they first began 25 years ago. My doc thinks I've developed a bit of endometriosis. I have foul period pain, lots of bloating and PMT and awful irritable bowel symptoms in the days leading up to. I've never suffered this type of thing before but it does run in my family, my middle sis has actually been left infertile by endometriosis so I couldnt say for sure if its band related, something that would have hit me anyway or just my reproductive system on the downward slide - I'm 39 going on 40. As for my sex drive, I lost that about 11 years ago after my first baby, lol. Oh, we do it plenty and I always enjoy it but if it were left up to me to initiate I'd choose sleep every single night. I'd probably miss it if I went without for weeks and weeks, but I can say definitively that there's been no improvement to my libido with weight loss. We actually have thyroid problems in the family too (with my middle sis again badly afflicted) and i've always tested normal with blood tests but basal temperature testing shows my body temp is very low - given that I also have very dry skin and hair, I actually suspect there's something amiss.

I dont think the wrist sizes mean anything. My thumb and pinky touch, my thumb and middle finger overlap considerably, but when I was at my top weight, my thumb and middle finger didnt touch at all. You can see the bones on my chest, but my bum is still very ah "comfortable" looking, lol. I have size 10 feet too that are very wide, but I have very small hands.

I think you can only really tell by losing weight and seeing where you reach a healthy body fat percentage. I was alway called large frame, I call myself large frame. For a tall person, I dont have those long graceful hands and my feet are like two flat wide flippers. I can only JUST touch my thumb and my pinky round my wrist. I'm five ft 10. Of course everyone always called me large framed. But for a five ft 10 person, I'm still quite curvy and well covered at the top of my healthy weight range, and I have some more I could quite easily lose without getting skinny. My body fat is 24%, healthy, but not skinny. So no, I dont think I *am* a large frame, if I was I would be skinnier at this weight. I think I look better at about 72kg, right in the middle of my weight range, but even then, I'm curvy. I think I'm someone who could go low into my range, right down to 65kg and not be skin and bones. So I'd suspect I'm more small to medium framed. I think frame size has as much to do with how much muscle your body naturally carries as well as the size of your skeleton because that affects how *fat* you are at a particular weight.

This has happened to me once right after a fill, it wasnt nausea or diarrhoea but a horribly painful episode where I needed to go and got the full on cramps, cold sweats, shakes, it went on for hours, i just kept needing to go back to the toilet, and the whole thing would start over. I was sure it was connected to the fill I'd had the day before, but its happened several times since and its definitely my period coming that causes it. I've developed a bit of endometriosis in my old age according to my gynae. I'd say its *probably* a coincidence and unfortunately you've caught a bug. Although I do find now, if I eat anything to oily or rich I get a very upset tummy these days, I just have no tolerance for it anymore.

Over time you'll be able to eat more than that and that's when you'll need the fill, you may not actually need one on the 8th May. I've found the opposite actually, I havent eaten less and less as I've been filled, and I eat similarly to that, the same sorts of things, levels of carbs etc and fills for me have maintained a reasonable food intake, not made me eat less and less. When my fill wanes and I find myself eating more I go back for a top up, but personally, I have never eaten less than what you're describing. I'd say you've had a quick spurt of weight loss following surgery and are plateauing out a bit but it will move again for you. Everybody is different though and you may need to experiment a bit - I can eat plenty of carb foods because I run up to 10km per day. The old fashioned ways of dieting still hold true too - watch the fat, try not to eat too many calorie dense foods, have the fruit not the juice type of thing. Exercise has made ALL the difference between being able to eat a normal, just smaller portioned diet and not having to go below 1500 calories a day to lose weight. Do you exercise?

Where are you Stephie? You sound like an Aussie, lol. I think if you get yourself in to see a surgeon, that's the first step, you dont have to make a final decision about it yet. You're young but boy oh boy I wish I could have my 30's back and not have spent them being fat and miserable. I wish I'd been thin and fit like I am now when my kids were small. I just think with people of your age too, you just have 2 strikes against you to be battling your weight now, for women especially and especially when they have babies, the 30's are such a danger time for becoming really obese, your life just spirals out of control when you bring babies into the picture. I so wish I'd known that. And if you suffer from PCOS and worry about conceiving, getting your weight under control NOW and not when you've been doing the heartbreaking rounds of IVF or simply trying to conceive for years on end could save you a lot of heartache and lost time. You're young and in the prime of your life and your body will respond so well to this, and you have everything to look forward to at a normal weight. Give it some good consideration. Its not for everyone for sure, but its a miracle for many. And if you're living with your Mum and Dad, they need to know all about it too. Good luck with it!

Unfortunately, I think a lot of people reach desperation point about their weight, have their fears and doubts about surgery (like anyone sensible does!) and go ahead and have it before they were truly ready. You MUST be ready to make life changes and you MUST be ready to make them yourself using the band as a tool. I think a lot of people want to be ready and go ahead and do it but are just not really ready to change their lives. I can remember how absolutely irreversible that felt, it took me months to make the decision becuase I was just not sure that I really *wanted* to change enough to go through with it. My habits were comforting in a way I couldnt define. Its because being obese isnt just a physical problem, its emotional and mental too. So although there comes a point where FFS you just have to get on with the job and do it or not, and that people around you may feel the need to offer some tough love, its just not that simple. I'd be terrible in counselling obese people becuase I would lose my temper and think that for crying out loud you've had the surgery, now just comply - I think unfortunately I'm a bit like an ex smoker in that looking back now the answers seem so simple and easy to me. Just run 8kms a day, just dont eat so darn much, but that's easy to say after the fact.

I wouldnt worry unduly, you could get barrelled into by a small child, be hit in a car accident, fall over and land on something, being hit in the guts by a softball is no more likely than any of those incidents. I played softball for many years and dont recall ever being hit in the stomach. I got hit full on in the throat once and couldnt speak for about 3 days and I broke my hip when I was 16 batting but never got hit in the stomach. Physically, I could run and lift and do vigorous stuff within 2 to 3 weeks.

I tend to get a bit weepy a few days afterwards, and I've had a sort throat/chest from the tubes before too.

Over time the concept of eating till you're full will change, you eat till you're not hungry anymore is more the idea. And it will take you a while to trust your body on that, at the moment, you probably dont recognise the feeling and feel like you've just having to pick an arbitrary spot at which to stop. I have trouble with this too still after 18 months. I bought a salad for lunch today and it was huge, and I'm eating my way through it. My head was STILL even after this long saying finish it, finish it. I wasnt getting *full* I just stopped half way through, put it aside and after five minutes realised I didnt need anymore. Its something I think we all always have to work on and remain attentive to. I can eat a sandwich - a small one, like a grilled cheese sandwich, not a huge massive salad and ham sandwich, but that's unusual at my stage, and there's plenty that will scream ALARM ALARM your band is slipped, you have a stretched pouch but some people can continue to eat larger amounts than others. I tend to be one of them but thankfully I can also lose weight on a higher calorie level than many others. Its SO individual - you really cannot listen to other people or go by their experiences with this. After one fill, its not at all alarming to be able to eat that and I also think its quite dysfunctional to get all caught up with what you *should* be able to eat (or should not be able to eat!). You eat till you're not hungry, whatever amount that is and if you're losing weight, its the right amount, whatever amount it is.

Couldnt agree more. Just try telling people that its not imperative to eat 700 grams of Protein a day round here or that you can actually eat more than 800 calories a day and lose weight and see what sort of response you get. F... off would be probably the most apt way to sum it up. I always love to see you around Fee, having seen your name pop up in ages. Dont stew on things, just come back and join in.