Jachut

Yes - I'm not the least bit worried that someone wants to weigh 150 instead, but some people REFUSE to see normal weight as normal weight. If you dont think it will look good on you then you dont have to weigh that. But it doesnt change the fact that its still normal weight and you're choosing to be overweight, you know? So there's no justification for calling people who are normal weight scrawny or ugly, just because its not something you want for yourself.

I do lots, I believe this is very important 1, I run. This is the biggest thing that has made the most difference to my life and I"m selfish about it. 2. I pay $70 for a haircut although I had to relent and start colouring myself when I was spending $200 at the hairdressers every six weeks. 3. I get my nails done every fortnight. 4. I spend hours on my fake tan 5. I go out whenever I get the chance (girls nights etc) 6. I ignore the housework and read or play round on the computer 7. I study. This will benefit my family too of course, but really I'm doing it for ME and a career that I will enjoy. 8 I bought expensive diapers too - expensive CLOTH ones, lol. I had a major major habit, there's a whole underground world out there and its majorly fun. Dealing with the contents was small work compared to the fun, companionship, friends and home business I had out of the cloth diaper world. It made a mundane task into a hobby.

Bird, I know what you are trying to say but you will cringe with embarrassment over this when you're a year or two out and have really learned to "live" a normal life with a band. food is more than fuel, it plays a big part in our culture and learning to handle it in all ways is important. You cant treat it like smoking and just give it up. Bad foods are everywhere and you have to learn to handle those too. Eating them every meal is not handling them. Eating them once in a while in moderate amounts is a healthy choice. Living on a diet is just as dysfunctional as eating yourself to death and nobody can maintain that forever. Plenty of people use their bands to diet and then relax into a more moderate lifestyle later when the weight's gone, but many also just use it to moderate their eating across all foods and it works very well that way and teaches you good habits for life.

So far nobody here has done what I was ranting about, which is nice to see. Everyone has given a well considered personal reason why they've chosen their goal. What makes me angry is when people attack YOUR goal or YOUR weight to justify their own. Indiogirl you just said you would look awful at 130, which is perfectly fine, you didnt call it anorexic or scrawny and ugly, that's what makes me angry, not that people dont have the same goals as me. So its not the fact that people choose higher goals that I was ranting about, its their attitudes about it. And its only very few people that do it too but there's one or two major offenders, neither of whom have joined this thread interestingly enough. Although, for the sake of argument, why at at 170 would you "look" 140? That seems an odd thing to say to me. That's what I mean - what makes you so special that you can weigh 170 and "look" 140 and everyone else will look 170. Why not just say I want to weigh 170, I think I'll look best there and be done with it? Nobody can argue with that.

I'm a bit phobic about artificial sweeteners so I would choose a no added sugar product.

To be honest, and most respectfully, I think this is a remnant of the "fat mentality". You were more than happy enough to pay $16.95 and eat way more than your body needed and now you're still wanting to get your money's worth out of your food. When you ate enough for 2 people in your former life, that was every single bit as wasteful as paying $16.95 and eating only a small portion is now. Time and time again this question gets raised here and I truly believe you have to get to the point where you dont care. So what? $16.95 to enjoy a night out is not outrageous. Who cares how much food you actually eat?

You cant know how much lean tissue you will lose either, that's why you cant just say 38lb. If you lost 38lb of JUST fat you'd probably be perfect, but it doesnt happen that way. Regardless of how much Protein you eat. You always lose a percentage of lean body mass as well. So you have to kind of keep going to see where it takes you. I set my goal weight at the highest end of my range too. I mean I'm not that stupid, you get to ballpark and you see where you go from there. I was still obviously fat. And I could say yeah, I'm a healthy weight so I can be all smug about it and not lose anymore. Except that my body fat is still 30% of my weight. Too high. So I try to keep losing. Very slowly. And its entirely likely that suddenly, one day I will look too old and decide I need to put a bit back on. I'm getting those veiny hands, ick. You do have to choose between your face and your bum at a certain point of your life.

Oh, I wish I knew. I would not for a moment think that lipo would replace a tummy tuck, those are 2 entirely different problems and procedures. But I have some fatty pockets that lipo would be PERFECT for and this would be sooooo easy. But I cant believe it would really work. They've had shows on about it here too. Its so cheap a nd easy compared to surgery. But I'd be VERY reluctatant to part with my money without having seen results on someone I knew.

Lets also remember that 1/4 of a cup of chocolate is WAY different to 1/4 of a cup of peas. There's not a problem in the world with being about eat 2 cups in a sitting if you choose healthy types of foods like vegetables and lean Protein. Trouble if you have the room for that, you can probably also eat a whole lot of bad foods that are very hard to resist. but its definitely a personal balance type thing.

Lately, I've been terrible. I gave some great advice the other day about committing to just ONE week of perfect eating. Something about how it would carry on from there. OK, I'll commit to that. After I finish this yummy white chocolate. At the moment, I'm finding I have to keep away from the darn computer, its an eating trigger for me. Sit down, coffee, something to eat, aaaah. I"m going to clean something now! There's no easy answer to this, you just have to really SCREAM at yourself to stop sometimes.

Did you tell people you were having it done? Yes, I saw no reason to hide it, nor did I see how I *could* hide it. Family and close friends that is, not all and sundry. Did you eat like you were never going to eat again????? No. I resolved not to do this. Nothing would have made me feel more hopeless and well FAT than to do this. My new life started the minute I made the decision to be banded. Did you establish an exercise program? Yes. It was very moderate compared to what I now do but I felt like I could take positive action and start my new life whilst I waited for my surgery date. I knew it would help me recover from surgery. What was your favorite Protein drink and where did you purchase I dont drink them and never did.

Then yes, I could eat 8 nuggets and half a cup of coleslaw. I'd be full, its a bigger meal than I'd ordinarily eat. I think there's a huge misconception that there's a certain amount you "should" eat as a bandster. Everyone's body is different. 1/2 a cup is not the magic amount that people think it is, its a guideline is all. If you can eat more with no pain or discomfort a) you arent stretching your pouch and you only need a fill if you've stopped losing weight. If you can be banded, eat 1 and 1/2 cups of food at a time and still lose all your weight, then why in the world would you mess with that? You'll be way better nourished than the person who gets by on 1/4 of a cup at a time. I think people get a kind of secret satisfaction from eating virtually nothing and they seek it out when really its totally not necessary for a lot of people, especially active ones. And you find the ones that eat that little dont necessarily lose any faster either. So my answer to cut a long story short is if you're losing you dont need a fill and if you've stopped losing and plateaued out then you have more room to cut back and you could get a fill to help with that.

I'd totally agree that she needs further investigations. It just isnt right that that's all she's eating and not losing. And on top of that, there's something not right with the band either. and I think inexplicably some people's bodies just can not tolerate bands, its too much restriction or nothing, there's not a lot of happy medium. And if she's never eaten like a "fat person" one would wonder why she got fat enough to need a lap band too. There's got to be something underlying here.

I really dont want to give the impression that I think people are "fat" in a derogatory sense or that their reasons arent valid - I blew off a bit of steam back there because this very topic made me angry the other day. And you most definitely do NOT have to be under a certain weight to be attractive. I truly do not think that at all. I'm just splitting hairs because I like to do that, lol. People who have been overweight probably do have heavier bones and more lean mass than people who have never been but dont kid yourselves that these things add up to 30lb or more, they dont. Have a look at this site Frame size, how much does it affect your weight? Your skeleton is only about 15% of your weight. Its a couple of pounds, and that's why the healthy weight is a "range" not a number, if you've previously been obese, you are probably going to hit the right amount of body fat for you higher up in that range. Because that's what we're really talking about, not a number, but body fat percentage. And if for whatever valid reasons you have you choose to weigh heavier then you DO still have a slightly higher risk of health problems down the track than a lighter person, we know that overweight still confers risks, its just a lot less risky than morbidly obese. But as far as how you look, I have no more right to say you're fat at x weight than you do to say I'm sickly skinny. You have to please yourself there. And its not like I think I"m perfect, but that's what I'm talking about, owning your weaknesses as well as your strengths. I've lost all my weight, yes, but many people have lost 88lb in 6 months - why? Becuase they're way more strong willed and disciplined than I am. I took almost 2 years because I suck at diets, I am too lazy to count calories and I just like to eat and enjoy my food in a relaxed manner. So I took longer to do it because I'm really not that great at all that stuff. I didnt care enough about getting to a goal weight quickly to make that sort of effort. Why cant people just say "yes, I could weigh 120lb but I really cant be arsed exercising every day and counting calories to maintain it"? I'd have no argument at that at all. But saying that you can weight 200lb but not be overweight when your ideal weight is 140 to 160 becuase you have heavy bones or you do strength training, that just awakens the argumentative part of me and I feel compelled to point out that that's just not true. That's really what I'm arguing. Not that people cant be beautiful or healthy at a higher weight and not that they dont have the right to set their own weights.

Yes, I totally agree with both points - we are totally warped by the degree of obesity in our society and dont recognise normal any more. I need to reinforce too that I do not have any problem at all with whatever anyone wishes to weigh. I just think a bit of honesty with self and others is called for, realise why it is that you set a particular goal and if it is still overweight, own that. Dont make excuses for it, be proud of your achievement but be honest that you dont wish to make the lifestyle changes that would be necessary to really maintain a weight more on the low side of your healthy weight range. Because when you have been very overweight, it does take a LOT of work to get to that sort of place and stay there.

For sure. I'm talking more about when people justify it to others. Like if you want to be a certain weight, that's NOBODY's business but your own and I"m all for it. We need realistic goals and ones that make us happy personally. What gets my goat more is when people go further than that and call you anorexic or unattractively "skinny" because you're a normal healthy weight. Or they dont say, I want to weigh 190 becuase I feel I can maintain it and I like the way I look there. They "justify" it by saying my bones are heavy (like 40lb heavy, I dont think so) or I have lots of muscle (yes, if you're Ms Universe, you might have enough muscle to take you over your healthy weight range by 40lb without also being fat, but its highly highly unlikely for the average person). To be honest, the person who can weigh 40lb above average and not be too fat as well is a genetic freak. Just say it, already. I want to weigh X even though its still overweight because I want to set myself a manageable goal that I know I can reach and maintain. Not I want to weigh X because I"m a genetic freak and the only person alive who can weight that and not be overweight and all you normal weight people look ugly and scrawny.

I dont know, it depends how big they are, I dont live in the US. McDonalds nuggests are quite small and I can eat 6 of those with no problem.

Congrats Meredith! That's fantastic, what a great achievement - and so fast too!

You dont really know that your bones are heavy though, most people use that as an excuse. That's the other thing I want to whinge about, lol. The old "oh, we measured my lean body mass and its 194lb (even though my highest healthy weight is 160) so that's what my goal is. And the idiot doctors who support this. No. Sorry. Do you really believe that by some miracle you've spent 20 years overeating and not exercising but you have MORE muscle and lean tissue than an average person of your size? 194lb of lean body tissue does not mean you're in great shape, it means your body has had to develop that to support your extra weight. And when you lose extra weight, you WILL lose a lot of that lean tissue as well. So you will not get to 194lb and have 194lb of lean body tissue, you will get to 194lb and have maybe 130lb of lean body tissue and wait for it, TOO MUCH fat. Argh. That one REALLY gets to me. As does heavy bones. You dont have bones 30 lb heavier than the average person, sorry to say. It may justify a *little* extra weight, as might excess skin. But not 30lb. The healthy weight range for my height is 138 to 179lb. I can tell you that at 179lb I am plenty well covered and curvy, I still consider myself fat. And I've never been 138, I dont have a super lean body type like that, 163 as I am now is getting thin but still quite well covered. But in a range that big, there is PLENTY of scope for your extra padding if you dont want to be skinny, for your heavy bones if you believe you have those and for your extra skin. There is STILL no "justification" for actually being overweigh because you somehow have a special *need* to be.

Oh golly, a pound? That could be just from standing on the scales differently! And you're talking two different sets of scales! They could be easily 7lb different! You are probably wearing different clothes. My docs scales weight about 7lb heavier than mine do. I dont mean to be unsympathetic and I'm not, but in all probability you could even have lost MORE, its just the discrepancy between scales. If you're to become a professional scale whore like me, hopping on every set you see you need to toughen up because you ARE going to see a lot of different weights. The only gains that count are if you've gained in the same conditions, on the same scales consistently, my weight bounces round by a pound or two all the time. I can get on the scales, get off, get back on and have gained 2lb in 30 seconds.

Yes, I'm so shy and retiring, lol.

I had a rant about this the other day and deleted it because it wasnt in this section and I had second thoughts. But here I go again. Completely agree with you Laurend, completely. I am all for a weight you can MAINTAIN. And older ladies can look better just a tad heavier. But it really bugs me when someone says "well, I'm just speakign for ME, but I think x weight is anorexic looking". Firstly, you cant say I'm just speaking for me and then say something insulting, you dont get away with that! And secondly, normal healthy weight is NOT anorexic looking. I really see it as dysfunctional. Its as if people think they and they alone have special dispensation to weigh 20 or 30lb more than their healthy weight and by some miracle, just for them alone, it wont be overweight, it'll be perfect. No. That's not true. Overweight is overweight no matter HOW you cut it. Being 30lb overweight is "healthier" than being 100lb overweight but its STILL overweight. And if you have been normal weight and for some unfathomable reason you think you're too thin (I'd question that, I'd say you have self image issues, not that you're really too thin at normal weight) then fine, but dont go telling other people that its too thin. Chickie's thread set me off on this the other day and the more I think about it the angrier I get. There's also a bit of sour grapes to it I think, that those who have adopted healthy eating and exercise routines and stuck to them and get really EXCELLENT results - people make excuses for why they *choose* not to do it (oh, I'm sickly looking at that weight) rather than face up to the fact that they havent quite managed it, as well as they have done, and they make narky remarks and justify it to themselves. I think its all the reasons you said - fear of failure, fear of not being able to maintain it, and especially its some weird not allowing yourself to be successful because you're fat and you dont deserve to be successful thing going on. I could sympathise with all that and agree that yep, a more moderate goal is probably a good thing if it werent for the nasty comments about how "x weight is just sickly skinny, but I'm only speaking for ME" and the obvious assumption that those who have gotten to a low normal weight are somehow cheating to obtain that.

Exciting stuff! Good luck with it, although its a few weeks yet.

running, definitely.

School uniforms are pretty much standard in Australia. Nobody gets to actually go to school in slutty clothes. But the local high schools, the girls still manage to look like those Bratz dolls, ergh. Which is one reason why my kids are going private and will be wearing ties, hats, blazers etc. I really strongly believe in the discipline of a school uniform - teaching kids how to present themselves in certain situations. They can "express themselves" on the weekends etc.