Jachut

My band is weird. I can eat in the mornings and am way tighter at night. I barely eat a half a cup at dinner time, but can easily get a cup in at breakfast.

I'm thinking she's a troll too Froggi. Nobody could really feel that heated up over something on the internet that didnt even happen to her, surely? I've had this experience with trolls before, they suck you right in, you think they're real people when in reality they're deliberately stirring the pot and having a great old time at the chaos it creates. If not, I just dont get it . I accidentally posted on the mental health board (just as I have done on the 200+ board and the men's board, both quite inappropriately, lol). I will try to be more careful. But I dont really have much to contribute to a mental health board, nor to the men's board so I dont deliberately go there. So I dont get, if this R&R upsets our delicate flower Jasmine so deeply, why the hell does she keep coming back and posting here. That's why I think both she and BrandyII may be tolls. I think R&R is brilliant. I'm a member of several other boards and at times, it has gotten awfully nasty when a debate has arisen, in the past its been politics and attachment parenting that I've seen it happen in. The boards have been destroyed by the fighting and bad feeling from one single thread/debate. That's a shame. At least here, its all aside from the main boards and its not there in your face if you dont want to be involved. So I really cant figure why if it upsets Jasmine so much why she keeps popping up. Its simple Jasmine. Turn off your computer and go and do something else.

OOPS, double post? Not sure, something funny going on.

I'm sure many of you read that last post from me that I've just deleted and many will get it in their inboxes as I left it up for a while. I'm not ashamed of it, not trying to hide it, but really, what's the fricking point? I'm not making any new points, just fuelling the arguments, its not necessary. In short, I've blocked several who I think are either slightly insane, unreasonably vicious or actually trolls just trying to start trouble. So if you dont like what I have to say.. BLOCK ME. Then you never have to deal with reality again. And thank you for those who appreciate my musings on this weight loss game and have been big enough to say so. It means heaps.

My philosophy on this - its a lifestyle, not another diet. Calories IN has to be less than Calories OUT, however you personally like to eat. For me, that means a basically healthy diet from all five foodgroups, occasional treats, moderate alcohol intake. I dont personally low carb it, and for me, calorie counting, Protein counting, food group avoiding all equals rules of the type of dieting behaviour that helped me get fat so I dont do em. I personally am also a believer in fresh, healthy food and learning to cook, I dont buy much processed foods and would barely ever eat lean cuisines or stuff like that. One exception for me is tinned Soup, that can be gooooood. But fish comes from a fish shop, meat from the butcher, fruit and veg from the greengrocers. That's just me though and the way I like to do it. I think exercise is of prime importance. I also happen to think it needs to be quite hard - you need to sweat a bit and get out of breath. Walking is a fantastic place to start but as you get fitter, I think the results die away a bit unless you work harder, which means real powerwalking, jogging or something else entirely. I've been an hour a day walker for periods of years before I got banded and I can tell you, the results from running an hour a day are a thousand times more! But - nothing should be a chore, a drama, an unreasonable strain. I can do that as it suits me, but the main thing is it must be doable enough to just become daily routine or you're fighting a losing battle. I dont drink with meals coz I cant, but I could for ages and it never made any difference to me. There's not a lot of "rules" for bandsters in Australia other than a healthy balanced diet and regular moderate exercise.

I don't think people resent "normal weight" in our society people giving advice, that has nothing to do with it. Bullshit. Its all about that. I will let you know how it "feels" when you've made some of those comments to me in the past. No, I've got a better one. How about you come back in a year or two when you're sorted your myriad of issues and lost weight and tell me how it feels to be accused of being a show off. Tell me how it feels to put your bathing suit pic up like everyone else only to be PMd about it telling you you're a disgusting show off and should bugger off. Tell me how it feels to be called scrawny, unattractive, obsessed or anorexic when you say youv'e reached a BMI of 22 or whatever, when everyone else is saying the same thing. Tell me how it feels to talk about your love of running in a weight loss forum for crying out loud only to be told you're not all that, you're just lucky that you have a passion for it so why should anyone congratulate you on your hard work. Tell me how it feels to be a non person because you werent fat when you were a child and tell me how it feels to be accused of self loathing. You are so self absorbed you cannot see anything other than what you think has been done to YOU, can you?. Now go ahead and bleat about how I've hijacked this thread and brought this up yet again. The other thread was in the Mental Health social group, at the time, on self esteem and if fat people could have it. It wasn't an invite for attack but it was anyway. I don't know if you would have attacked that thread so much if it was started by a different poster. I'd still like you to enlighten me as to how my first post on that thread was an attack. Go on, put your damn money where your big mouth is, pull it up and quote me. Explain to everyone here just how saying my behaviours and choices when I was fat were making me unhappy is attacking you. Then go on to show everyone how YOU didnt attack me. Have you even looked up "mutually exclusive" yet? Do you understand that I was actually AGREEING with you when I said being big and having self esteem were not mutually exclusive? brandyII may have died but Nanook lives on!!!!! Great, so now I have to block Nanook as well. I'd blocked BrandyII becuase I just cant stomach any more of your passive agressive tripe. I don't want a fight with you or your buds, "peace/olive branch" thank you Nanook, brandyII:smile: No? So why say anything then?

You go to www.tickerfactory.com. Its straightforward to set up, then you choose the cut and paste option for VBulletin. Under user cp here on the right hand side you have an "edit your signature" option and you just paste it in there.

I clearly recall week 2, about 1/2 a coffee mug of thickish soup had me full to pussy's bow and staying that way for 2 or 3 hours. DH on the other hand was completely healed and going through 2 entire BOWLS of soup by his second week. Just dont eat till you're stretched tight kinda thing, eat till satisfied. Its up to you whether weight loss is your main focus now in which case if you heal up and can eat normally, you need to watch calories. DH lost 5kg first week and hasnt lost any more in the last 2. But its quite normal to heal fast and maintain weight during this phase, which is all about healing mainly.

The truth is you wont know what foods suit you until you're banded and even THEN it changes over the course of your journey. I can eat anything if I want to eat it badly enough. I generally avoid junk like McDonalds etc because truly those burgers are murder to try to get down and they are highly likely to result in vomiting or extreme discomfort. I dont even like stuff like that anymore becuase I mentally associate it with unpleasantness and therefore my tastes have changed. Believe me, you dont sit round pining for the Mcdonalds you can never have again. but if forced, if we're there at 6 am on the way to our annual holiday (we always stop at the Bairnsdale Maccas on the way to Eden for any other Victorians!) I can always have a coffee, a hash brown, a salad if its lunchtime, and I can eat the nuggets. So no biggie, I can do Maccas in a pinch. I can eat bread, but its 1/2 a sandwich now, not a whole one. yet ice cream, which every bandster seems to love, gives me intensely painful stomach cramps because of the coldness. You adapt and its not that hard. Its a lot more scary from your side of the surgery. But its nobody's experience but your own so nobody can really tell you what you will and wont able to eat.

Nope, I entirely agree. I dont want to fight with anyone about it, and in fact I've had my feelings confirmed in some ways and my views expanded in others. Discussion is good, fighting isnt. But you frustrate me BJ because I am very definitely NOT saying that you must exercise lots (preferably run) and eat little. Actually I eat more than just about any bandster at this stage than I know and I have to exercise lots becuase I like eating too much. This is more about being honest with yourself and your behaviours and the reasons behind them. Its not about MY way to lose weight and it feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall. I talk about running a lot becuase I really really love it. Not becuase everyone else should do it it. I'm not frustrated by people that dont exercise, I'm not even frustrated by people that dont eat right, dont exercise and dont lose weight but know exactly why. I'm frustrated by people that arent doing positive things towards losing weight when they've gone to the extent to have surgery and then think its all some great unfairness because Ive had this marvellous passion magically "bestowed" upon me that enables me to run and therefore lose weight but they cant do it because I'm lucky and they're not. I never got mad with BrandyII because she's not exercising or eating right, she first made me cross because she said running was a passion for me therefore I could exercise but she couldnt because she didnt have that passion. Did that passion fall out of the sky and hit me like a bolt from the blue? No, I built it, from hard work and consistency and ANYONE can do that. With whatever they choose to apply hard work and consistency to. You dont have to build it if you dont want to, I'm not even saying that. You can not lose weight at all, you can lose weight without ever exercising, you can settle for going to a BMI of 35 from being 50. You can do high protein/low carb even though I dont think of it as a healthy way to eat. None of that is any skin off my nose until you tell me a) that I'm lucky and you're not or :blushing: you make my life miserable with all the wretched hand wringing over why you're not skinny yet and then get mad with me when I dare to suggest reasons. Please please please tell me you get that and that I'm not some awful bitch sitting here saying "you dont run, therefore you're a fat, lazy pig". Because to think I'm talking on a level that shallow is to cast me in an extremely unflattering light. I'm neither that mean nor that stupid. I just think a thought process like that is something of a choice regardless of other mental health and emotional issues. You can change it. You might not agree you can change it, and that's fine. But I object and will continue to if you really think that I'm saying "you should choose to run, and eat less or else you're a failure". Otherwise I'm fine to disagree and get back to more productive discussions.

The trouble is people dont see truthful supportive advice as well meaning, they take it as criticism. What you're saying logically is correct. You need support, not abuse. So how did I get through the post op period before the first fill? I just did. I summoned up willpower and did what I was told to do. I ate from the list, cooked interesting things that were allowed rather than rely on shakes and powders, progressed as advised. I walked 5kms every single day for 6 weeks till I had that fill, didnt miss once, Had a champagne or two at Christmas and New Years but kept it very moderate. I just toughed it out. People hate hearing that. It drives them mad, they react with aggression, nastiness and then if you happen to upset them in any other way it comes out like pus from an abscess, all those apparently high and mighty comments you've made around the boards about how freaking great you are. Eventually you stop saying it and start with the verbal eye rolling instead. Truly there's no easy answer, and support doesnt alwasy sound as soft and fluffy as you'd like. You either want this enough to stick with the instructions or you dont and stating that basic fact makes people furious with you. Sorry to bring more of my rant to this thread, but you asked it specifically and honestly, with nothing but respect, that's it. Being really supportive, with really honest advice does not make you popular so people quit doing it.

Need doesnt only have to be defined by the physical either of course. If I was 20 and I looked like I do, I think I'd be "needing" PS. Because I do look like a 40 year old who's had 3 babies and lost lots of weight. Given that that's exactly what I am, its not a real issue for me, but if I were really down about the way I looked after all I've done to improve it, I'd classify that as needing surgery. its so different for everyone. But truly physically needing it isnt the only factor, I dont think.

Oh gosh, its nearly here! VERY best wishes, I'll be thinking of you. I'll be on a flight up to the Goldcoast to do a 10k run with my sister (and have a girls weekend!!). There's a bunch of bandsters here that always run through my mind when I'm running, motivational, bright people and you're one of them. Here's wishing you a smooth surgery and an even smoother body as a result!

I'd like to address this too. whilst there's definitely been some nasty tones here, from myself, and others because I'm fed up with things, I can put my hand on my heart and say honestly that in BrandyII's lapband failure thread, I absolutely NEVER gloated or sneered. I was motivated purely by frustration and a desire to help her see what she was doing to herself. If you honestly go through thread again right from the beginning, you'll see that. If you read that BJ, it says more about your own outlooks than it does mine.

Ah, where was Brandy's name mentioned in that first post? How did you know it was about someone specific? It isnt by the way. She's come up, sure, and she was what fired me up, but like I said, there's 1000 other people on this board that are on the same ride. If you werent hanging around vicariously watching the action like some sort of voyeaur, how would you have known? You've sought it out and gotten involved quite deliberately so save the moralising. I wouldnt post this at B2G - its a much more positive place without these issues, so there'd be no need. This has honestly never struck me there.

I realise people have emotional issues. This thread has made me realise that those are real. I still have little time for it, I'm harsh, yes, but I dont surround myself in life with needy people. I can feel some compassion for it, sure, but its not something I want or need to get involved with. I'm happy with myself, my outlook AND most importantly I believe I'm raising strong, resilient children who respond to life from an emotionally stable base. My point has always been that these emotional issues result from thought and behaviour patterns that can be changed. I dont deny you may need professional help to change them. The issue that frustrates me SO much is that people wont acknowledge that. They refuse to see any destructive or non productive behaviours as something they can do something about, preferring instead to see themselves as the victim of it. These people are gaining something out of behaving that way to the point where they get very aggressive (or passive agressive in Brandy's case) when challenged on it. They dont WANT to change it, they dont WANT to do anything about it. They just want to cry about it and lap up the attention. Do people with emotional problems annoy me? No. Do people with emotional problems that exploit them to excuse their own choices or to seek attention from all and sundry annoy me? Yes. There's a huge difference there. You yourself are failing to make that distinction now. Its a really important one. And why does it even matter to anyone here what annoys me? Because its my thread, I started it and if people want to respond its coz they're interested, not because I'm forcing them to. Dont worry about hijacking the thread. Its R&R. You'll feel better after you've had a good temper tantrum over it, I certainly do.

Sades, I didnt hijack that thread. I made a comment that I didnt think obesity and good self esteem were mutually exclusive but that I did feel better for having overcome some of my less attractive behaviours. I didnt feel good about the way I was living my life or looking after myself. Would you please enlighten me as to how that is inappropriate in a self esteem thread? How is that rude, aggressive or inappropriate? It was Brandy herself who jumped on that and got hysterical, accusing me of saying that you could not be fat and have any self esteem and what a shame I had such deep seated self loathing. She started that one, clearly. I responded. She pointed out it was a mental health thread and what was I doing posting there anyway? I apoligised, said I'd not realised as I'd simply hit new posts. She kept ranting. I suggested it was not appropriate here as she herself had pointed out, and out of respect to the other posters we should call it quits and take it to R&R. The thread got back on track and I went to R&R. She didnt. Now as you sound somewhat histerical yourself, could i point out that we havent been speaking about BrandyII for quite some time and its YOU that's brought her back into the conversation?

Sades, I believe I have tried to make the distinction between true mental illness, which I do not have the arrogance to even pretend I know all about and basic personality weaknesses, flaws, destructive behaviours, whatever you want to call them. I didnt *really* start this thread as a public dressing down of BrandyII, although her name came up several times. Sadly on this board there are about 1000 people just like her. Its intriguing, its a chicken and egg thing. Do obese people share a specific set of personality traits or do these develop as a result of being obese? this is R&R, its made clear the contents may be offensive to you or challening or whatever. I'm allowed to say what I did here and I said it to voice my own frustration, which is borne of the fact that I still would like support and companionship in my weight maintenance efforts but maybe I've changed, maybe the board has, but I'm not longer finding it here. Most of what I find just makes me roll my eyes these days. Now, I believe we'd kind of worked through that here, and come to some sort of less aggressive, more productive discussion. I had realised that this is a weight loss board to support people losing weight and that the fact that I'm now maintaining and looking for different things is really not the fault of people here and the fact tht the life at goal board is pretty non active is testimony to the fact that other people have reached this conclusion less publically than I have and simply moved on. Sadly, I've decided that there's some people for whom the band is just not going to be that successful unless they do a lot of work on themselves. Silly me for caring, for wanting to share what I've learned along the way. Yet what's the point? I know if I went back and found all my posts from 3 years ago, they would sound nothign like a lot of these ones. Now I'm sorry that my public sorting out of these issues has offended you so much. You can start your own thread about arrogent goalers thinking they know it all perhaps? Although if you could point me to where I said I wanted to be everyone's hero, I'd be grateful. If you think about it from the other side of the coin, it seems to be a huge crime around here to actually open your mouth once you're a normal weight, sooner or later in any thread you're hit with abuse for being a show off, you're called obsessed or anorexic, or you're told your opinion doesnt count because you dont understand what being fat is like. It ALWAYS comes down to that in the end and thank you for saving everyone else the trouble. Now on a final note, just to clarify, I do not wish to pretend in any way that I hold the solution to people's mental health struggles. I am not in ANY way referring to clinical depression, post natal depression or any other mental health disorders - I'm referring to negative pains in the bums who mostly cause their own problems.

You know, I think I passed it, just a tad. I'm at 3.2cc and I think 3 was absolutely perfect for me. I notice there's a lot of foods I cant eat as easily now (although I did manage a cheese sandwich with the crusts cut off the other day), although that's mainly at period time and the week before. I've been majorly restricted then. The main thing I notice is that I have to work a lot harder to remember to actually eat meals and not just eat easy foods in small quantities all day long - its not a deliberate ploy to eat round the band, its just how your appetite changes with that level of restriction, I no longer *want* lunch kind of thing, but I know I should and it just sets up a cycle of not eating according to your appetite but according to what you think you should. I jsut really wanted to get to 67kg, REALLY wanted to, so I went that last fill 3 months ago. I dont think I'll stay here. I've almost done it but to be honest, it hasnt helped that much and very long term, I'm afraid I wont be getting the nutrition I need at this level. that said I still probably eat more than a lot of bandsters and wider variety because I'm not THAT tight. I dont pb or get stuck often. But I'm not doing the half marathon I wanted to next weekend, I'm doing the 10k instead because to be honest, Ijust havent done the training. And I havent done the training because I just plain cant eat enough to fuel that level of exercise. I need to eat lots of carbs to do it and at this point I cant. I carbo loaded for an entire week for a 14K back in March and did and did a better time than I did last Sunday in another race because I just plain ran out of energy. There was no way I could down oatmeal or toast and a banana at 6 am so I went in without having eaten very well and it showed.

Yeah, I agree. Obviously I've been thinking about this alot in the past few days given the nature of posts from me. But you know, I think being banded before you're ready can really jinx your success. It must be awful to be thinking "I've had lapband surgery and I *STILL* cant do it". It would send you into a tail spin. Psychological assessment does not seem to account for much does it? Its obviously failing to identify people with unrealistic expectations. I think back to my own experience and I did really know what I was getting into. I was well prepared and I had started the behaviours well before the surgery - I weas eating well and exercising for months beforehand. I considered the surgery the second step in proceedings, it was my insurance that meant I would be able to carry on the new lifestyle past that easy 10kg point that I'd gotten to so many times. I was very ready. Others, they just dont seem to have been given the full picture. Its seen as a miracle cure, definitely, because I've had it said to me so so many times.

I remember this being a problem for six weeks or so but it doesnt happen often nowadays. Most things stay hot for 20 minutes or so and by then I'm done. Although I often find I have to reheat my coffee!

Wow, with a family history like that, I'd say banding is a really good investment in your health and quality of life. It IS hard. You dont get banded and then automatically lose weight for very long as you'll quickly work out a way to get calories in if you really want to. Look, you have to WANT to change. You have to be willing to do what you would always have had to do to lose weight, only the band will help you to be a lot less hungry. But its a tough journey, and losing 100lb in a year doesnt always happen, it took me 2 years to lose that much. Any weight loss at all, even 10% of your body weight can do marvellous things for your health, so I'd suggest to not be so fixated on a goal like that, Exercise helps enormously too. What do I eat in a day and what are my portion sizes?. I dont measure to be honest, early in the day I can eat probably a cup worth of food, late in the day its 1/2 cup as I tend to be tighter at night. I eat all foods, I dont avoid carbs, but I dont eat a lot of white sugary carbs. I try to avoid too many processed foods, preferring fresh, I have the occasional glass of wine, a treat every now and then and I run for up to an hour most days of the week. To lose 100lb in a year if that's what you really want to accomplish, then I'd imagine you need to be stricter with the measuring and weighing than what I am, keep to the portion sizes suggested to your by your doctor, adjust your band so that those portion sizes satisfy you and make sure you do regular exercise in some form or another. If you MUST reach that goal and you really do not think you can live with the restrictions the band places on you and the amount of work you have to do for a band to be effective, then there's other weight loss surgeries to consider, I know nothing really about them so perhaps others can chime in there. I can tell you that it doesnt stop when you've lost the weight, I have not changed my routine or exercise now that I'm maintaining rather than losing. I'll have to do this for the rest of my life. You've only got a little time, I see. Dont go ahead if you're not ready, you need to think about it. However, whilst its VERY scary to contemplate it really feels perfectly normal when you get there. But you must be ready to follow the rules. Good luck!

I agree with you. Its not quite like that here - yet - but the band has been done for way longer. I've seen TV ads though, very rarely but in that 10 am timeslot and yes, its all promises of miracles. I've also seen newspaper and magazine ads. Never do they mention anything negative!

Oh dear. Well, I guess you can only look on the bright side. Its not possible to be a negative cup size. Is it? I guess its no worse than being a D extra long which is what I currently am. They're awful. Sigh.

We can SEE your name down the bottom you know! Periods! Tampons! Discharge! There ladies, that oughta work.