My Bariatric Life

@@swimbikerun I lost a lot of weight when I was a kid by swimming in our in-ground pool. I sure miss that pool!

@@Inner Surfer Girl alas there is no pool at my gym. But that is a very good suggestion. Thank you.

@@pink dahlia I have a pair of the tights on order. I think they will help.

@@CowgirlJane wow, just wow. I admire your strength and courage. It is one thing for a person to leave a spouse who is "bad" in one way or another (infidelity, etc). That is a pretty clear cut decision (although that doesn't mean it is easy). But to leave someone who is a good man because although you love him you are not in love (my words not yours) is, I imagine, extremely difficult. How did you do it?

@@VSGAnn2014 thank you for posting the link. I am reading through the thread now.

Thank you for the encouragement. I pretty much said the same thing to myself today at the gym - don't give up! I am at a point where I could say "to heck with it." But that would be a huge mistake! I was able to go a mile today, slowly. So that is improvement. My goal is to be able to run 3.1 miles at a moderate pace. Ultimately I want to run a 5k in 30-min or less. I think I was at 40-minutes when I last ran 5k. Heck I was thrilled that I could complete it at all!

@@lisacaron thank you for such a thoughtful reply. A guide told me something similar to what you said, "The key to it all and to finding happiness is finding that in yourself first and foremost. Love yourself for who you are. If you don't know who that is take the time to find who you are and define what you want from your life." May I ask, how did you go about finding yourself and what you want from your life? I am on such a journey and I just feel stuck not knowing where to look or the steps to take towards self discovery and awareness. The person I knew is, in a way, gone. After my PS I left my career and my home and the state that I lived in and my friends and everything that I knew. I went somewhere completely new, so many of the things that I identified my "self" with are no longer there. Last year I went through the physical transformation with the plastic surgery. This year I will address the emotional transformation. I have a guide that I work with to get in touch with my spirituality (not organized religion) because I closed that part of myself off when my mother became debilitated and terminally ill. He also is guiding me in relationships, relationship with my self and with a few people. I have begun reading the book, "Return to Love" at his suggestion. I did a guided meditation last week and it was very powerful. It is only the second time in my life that I have done it and I will definitely be doing it again. Along that same line, a friend did a silent retreat and highly recommended it to me. So I shall do that in the outdoors once the weather is warm again. Meditation is something else that I have gotten away from and need back in my life.

@@VSGAnn2014 very good insights, thank you. I really have not seen this topic discussed on the boards. I once interviewed my bariatric angel for a patient success story and she and her husband had gotten a divorce after her WLS/PS. This is the reason she gave: "Sadly it accentuated what already existed. Our marriage was suffering; the major change in me prompted me to make a change. I know that I felt like I had to put up with things that I no longer was willing to tolerate. I shouldn't have tolerated it even when I was overweight but that was the self-esteem connection kicking in. I gained a feeling of control in my life with the weight loss and I think that control crossed over into other areas of my life." - See more at: http://www.healthcentral.com/obesity/c/276918/159465/transforms-beauty-bariatric?ap=831#sthash.g20mKfII.dpuf I know only one other WLS/PS patient who said to me privately that she and her husband were getting divorced. I am not sure if she went through with it or not. On the other hand I know three WLS/PS patients whose relationships deepened with their spouses. Other patients that I know have not had a change in their relationship with their spouses, for better or worse, or at least not that they have discussed with me.

@@spiritedcowgirl63 are you deciding what it is that you want, or are you set on staying in your marriage? Thank you.

@@parisshel so true... I am glad that you recognize what you want for your life and are not afraid to make it happen. While leaving a BF is much easier legally and financially than leaving a spouse, I am sure that emotionally it can be a hard thing to do. I did an interesting interview with a patient who after her weight loss surgery did the mental work to find herself, to love herself, and determine what it was she wanted for her life. It was not until she had that part figured out that she entered into dating relationships and ultimately found love. She offers some really good advice: http://www.healthcentral.com/obesity/c/276918/173276/finding-obesity-patient?ap=831 I learned a few things from her and I think many patients will. She is an inspiration!

@@HawaiianTexan there are many reasons why. Sometimes it is as simple as the person who looses the weight changes. They have new interests, maybe working out, actives like that, and have shed their old couch potato and foodie lifestyle. Whereas the partner has not changed and may not want to change. S/he may miss the former life had with the spouse. There may be jealousy issues. Sometimes people just fall out of love.

Sometimes there is a status quo that is upset when one person changes.

Perhaps they do not want to open old wounds for themselves. Especially at this time of the year.

@@OnePhatWhoDat thanks! I am so looking forward to visiting Memphis. I went to Nashville twice this year and enjoyed it very much.

@@pink dahlia I admit I hate stretching and often skip it. You have convinced me to stretch, stretch, and stretch some more. Thank you!

@@OnePhatWhoDat Congrats on the WLS! I am so curious what city this was... please do tell!

Cripes, Charlotte, I am so sorry!!!!! And to add insult to injury this animal laughs at you?!?! I am sure many women reading this would understand if you HAD run him down. I believe that you could have him prosecuted, if you wanted, as I don't think there is a statute of limitations on child rape. The most important thing is that you heal, whatever it takes. I went to a survivor's meeting many years ago to support a friend and all of the women there were obese. It is not unusual to become obese after sexual abuse. I wish you healing, my friend.

Good advice, David. I am using the rowing machine. I also am meeting with a trainer on Friday. Thanks very much!

I'll go back to stretching before my run and down a coconut water, too. Compression pants are on order. Thanks so much!

@@VSGAnn2014 thanks very much for the encouragement!

Thank you for the encouragement. It helps to hear your story and your advice. I will give that energy Protein Drink a try! Thanks!!

I was unaware of the compression tights. Thanks so much, this is very helpful! I am sure it will make a difference. I just ordered a pair!

@@JustWatchMe good for you; I know it was not at all an easy thing to do. Do you think that you would have left if you had not had the weight loss surgery? Wishing you well, my love.

Back when I had gastric bypass surgery in 2003, there was no psychological counseling, supervised weight loss program, nutritionist, or anything... just the surgeon. What did I do? I freaking binged ate every day the week prior to my surgery knowing that I could never eat those foods or this way again... pizza, McDonalds, gelato... gross! Kids, don't try this at home!

I wanted to look great in a thong and thigh highs and a pair of heels. Last year I threw away all my granny panties and filled my drawer with thongs... and a few pair of thigh highs. I remember how excited I was to put them on for the very first time!