My Bariatric Life

@@ocean4dlm where did you learn reiki and what was your training like? I am going to continue with the class to get my master certification. I just want to make sure that I am getting a good training. I have two options that I am aware of... There is a Tibetan Mongolian Buddhist center about 90-min from my house that offers a training once in a while. It is a one-day intensive. Then there is a metaphysical center about 20-min from my house that offers reiki 1, 2, and 3 classes over the course of a few months so that you can practice in between. This is where I had my reiki session with the tuning forks and it was amazing. Its also a place where I have done guided meditation, as well as took my first reiki training (reiki 1).

@@IcanMakeit I have heard stories like that about terminally ill people being put at ease with reiki. Would you consider having your friend do a session on you?

@@MichiganChic I've been told that many nurses practice reiki on patients. I think it is a wonderful service for the hospice to offer. I'd like to see more nurses and physicians assistants doing this for patients. I believe it will help with healing and recovery, as well as overall wellbeing.

@@ProjectMe I have a mentor who swears by acupuncture. There are many Eastern approaches to healing that pique my interest. Do let us know about the acupuncture if you try it, reiki, too!

You were Enlightened at a much earlier age than I was! I'd never heard of conditional love until I watched this documentary. Its very freeing to love myself and other people unconditionally. It is very peaceful.

Never surrender to love because its not love you are surrendering to. Anyone who wants you to surrender your authentic self is manipulating you. This is what love is not. With Valentine's Day just behind us it is a good time to take stock of our relationships. What follows is a synopsis of "what love is not" from the documentary film LOVE with Gary Null, Ph.D. You may watch LOVE on Amazon. Manifesting unconditional love requires two steps. First you must be aware of and step away from your conditioned negative response. Next you must proactively step into self actualizing love. Self actualization of love means you cannot say “I love you” and do something negative. Have you been in a situation where someone says love and then they are hypercritical or judgmental of you, or in someway made you feel obligated? No matter how many times someone says the word love, this is not love. Anyone who does this is not sharing love. The person is trying to control you by making you feel bad. As in “I did this for you and now you owe me.” That is a condition placed around love. You can’t owe someone love. It is not a commodity. You cannot barter it. No heart breaks when a person is manifesting love. Hearts break when the needs that are conditional are not being met. Watch how many times you can do something wonderful to a human being, with a human being, for a human being, and things are great until you stop. Watch how quickly that person comes at you. How many times have you done something for someone out of love and when you stopped they threw it back at you? Love is not one person demeaning another and expecting the other person to abdicate, so that person comes back and they share love. You are not sharing love when someone does something negative. When someone says something negative, when someone does something negative, it is not love that they are manifesting or sharing. It is a dark side conditional need in their own tortured and perverse way that they are making judgments against you so that you will surrender to them. Never surrender to love because its not love you are surrendering to. Anyone who wants you to surrender your authentic self is manipulating you. This is what love is not. And when people do surrender to have the relationship, or what they think is important in the relationship, they are going to find one day they wake up and wonder “Geez, why in the world am I feeling this way?” “Why are you speaking this way?” “Why are you doing this?” That is because the relationship had nothing to do with love. We have lost our self in the relationship, in the other person. This is not an organic, mature relationship. It has taken over our life in some sense. And then we really don’t know who we are. It is about the reflection of the other. Its always important when we love someone else to have that reflection and understanding and see a mirror of ourselves through the other. But we should not merge into them. Some of us have been mis-programmed and really cannot respond appropriately to the concept of love and harmony and beauty in the world we live in. These programs are downloaded into our subconscious and are like tapes that we play over and over. The conscious mind can override the subconscious mind. The conscious mind is the creative mind, where our dreams, desires, wishes, and ambitions are made. Unfortunately the conscious mind operates about 5% of the time and most of us are going about our day unconsciously operating from programs that have been prerecorded in our minds, things like “not good enough” or “you don’t matter” or “I am a failure." For personal empowerment we need to emphasize our conscious mind so as to overcome the subconscious. Our biggest opportunity for growth is to correct the mis-programming of our youth and put into our lives much more loving, healthy, harmonizing programs. We can reprogram the subconscious mind using the conscious mind. Suggested further reading is my opinion piece True Love on BariatricPal. See all articles by My Bariatric Life.

When I was a (fat) kid I used to take my mashed potatoes and kernel corn from my dinner plate and put them between a slice of white bread. Gross! What strange and super unhealthy concoction did you eat before weight loss?

@@Think you don't look that bad and your thighs are great. I'll bet you have a really nice outcome. Are you getting an anchor cut? Safe surgery and speedy healing to you!

I saw this pinterest board on which the Pinner has collected a bunch of weight loss success stories with before and after photos from around the web. Thought I'd share it for those times when we need inspiration, motivation, or just want to read a feel good story! https://www.pinterest.com/mllebleu/weight-loss-success-story/?utm_campaign=activity&e_t=a6e18041c6fc4ccd8f9cdb98f1dd6da2&utm_medium=2003&utm_source=31&e_t_s=board

@@spiritedcowgirl63 definitely

An interesting observation... It was many years ago that I had bariatric surgery, and even more years since I've followed weight loss diets pre-operatively. I recall that whether it was that I was following a weight loss diet to try to defeat obesity, or after my surgery following the bariatric diet to achieve weight loss, that family often did not take my dietary needs into consideration. I'd come for dinner or an event and food was presented that I could not eat. However, once I developed celiac disease and lactose intolerance and thus have specific dietary needs (not unlike I had specific dietary needs as a bariatric patient) that those same family members take those specific needs into account when I come for a meal. To me, this falls into the category of weight bias. Why are the dietary needs of celiac and lactose intolerance taken seriously and the dietary needs for weight loss or bariatrics take lightly by "society?"

I wasn't aware that I did not love myself. Only recently was I able to love the person who was -- the obese me I see in photographs from more than a decade ago, or even the overweight me I see in photos from 21-months ago. And once I loved that person who was, I loved the person who is. It did not happen by chance. It took work. I have been doing the inner work since completing my plastic surgery, the work I guess I was supposed to do 12 years ago when I had my weight loss surgery. Back then we did not have comprehensive treatment teams to help us along. We had only a surgeon to change our anatomy. The rest was up to us. I realized that because I did not know how to love myself, that I did not know how to love someone else, either. I have been blessed with some very wonderful people in my life. I buried my mother last month. She knew how to love better than anyone. Her love shone through in everything she did and everyone she touched. She was one of the very most wonderful people in my life. John came to her funeral, He took the hours long drive in inclement weather up into the mountains in the middle of nowhere to the peaceful village where my parents live. He was a friend of the family since the age of 12 or 13, something like that. John also is one of the wonderful people in my life. He was my first love; I was 16 and he was 14. I had not seen him in 20 years. He held me tight in his arms and I cried. I felt like a little girl again in those moments, as if I was 16 and Mom was alive and life was simple again. I felt so safe. I did not want to let go. I did not want to return to reality. John did not say a word. He just held me for as long as I needed. I could feel the energy passing between our chests, our heart chakras, as we stood there. It is amazing that love never dies. I don't know if I would have appreciate the enormity of John's act of love that day had I not been on this spiritual journey that I'd undertaken to transform my "inside" having completed transforming my "outside." And the memories came flooding back, all the things he did for me, expressions of his love for me, and I am amazed that such a young boy could have been such a man in these matters. He was more of a man at 14 than some men I have met in their 40s. And I remember, too, all of the ways Mom showed us her love every day of her life until she became far to ill to communicate any longer. And I recognized all the ways the men in my life expressed their love to me -- there were not many to be sure, just a few really special ones, and not all of them were lovers. Have you done the inner work to love yourself? Have you had any transformative experiences?

@JustWatchMe I've read that crisis is the prelude to growth and transformation. Out of your pain you will emerge with unconditional love and acceptance. One approach that I've found very enlightening is guided meditation.

Good luck to you, JWM! I am on that path, as well. Some of the resources I've used that have been helpful to me are listed in my opinion piece, True Love, on BariatricPal. Perhaps there's something there that will resonate with you. Wishing you a lifetime of true love!

Ann, I looked at the Wiki entry... I believe in integrative medicine, also known as complementary medicine, but I do not believe in alternative medicine for treating serious diseases. I also caution anyone from taking medical advice from a non-medical professional. Null's views here more than likely fall into my category of "leave the rest." Thanks again.

Yes, Ann, I think I am and I include my relationship with my self in with that. Thanks. The views expressed, not all of which are Gary Null's but other educators as well, have certainly opened my eyes to what love is and isn't. What I found most helpful was this segment on what love is not. And why that is, is because I'd made the commitment to unconditional love recently. So much of my focus has been in understanding what love is and how to manifest it, that I never considered looking at what love is not. This was incredible insight for me into my self and my relationships past and present... not only in how I receive love but also how I express it. I truly enjoyed the documentary and highly recommend it. I am not familiar with Gary Null outside of this film. If he has quack ideas on HIV (I haven't clicked through the link but I will) I do not feel that negates his views or the views of the other clinicians expressed on love. Like all things, I believe in take what you need and leave the rest. I just finished the book, Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. There were many passages that I highlighted and will refer to in the future. There also were passages which upon reading I did the eye roll. What I mean by take what you need and leave the rest means that I filter information in order to make the best decisions possible for myself. Thanks again.

@@wannaBthinsoon oh recovery is hard enough without going through menopause on top of it. But all of our trials and tribulations are worth it to have our lives back. I know your journey is just beginning and I wish you well. WLS saved my life. I truly believe I would be dead today instead of writing this post.

@@JustWatchMe ha! Thanks, love. I sure feel young!

@@JamieLogical many plastic surgeons say it is a difficult procedure that does not yield good results. I had one PS tell me that personally at a consult and I've read comments from plastic surgeons on realself. And based on many of the results I have seen, well, these surgeons are right. When I asked my surgeon about this he said it is not a difficult procedure if you know what you are doing. My thighs were so disgusting to me and he made them beautiful. He surely knew what he was doing and was not expensive. Look at lots of before and after photos. Talk to patients. Read reviews. Have the surgeon show you your expected results by pulling your skin. Be sure to know where the scar will be. Ask the surgeon how many of the procedures s/he has done and how often is s/he doing them? Be careful of insincerity and don't be taken in by heavy marketing tactics. I chose Dr. Capella many years before I had my plastic surgery based on his body of work, reputation, experience, my belief and trust in him, my comfort with him, and his price. I had my whole body done.

John LoMonaco

I had a medial thigh lift. Watch who you choose for your plastic surgeon on this procedure in particular.

@@imsoglad56 thank you. I will look into the blood clot issue. I am pretty sure that either the progestin or testosterone mitigates that. Best to be sure, so thanks again and I will look into it. I have to pickup my cream on Monday. I emailed my ObGyn and said I wanted bio-identical human hormones and natural progestin in either transdermal or transmucosal formulation. So a specialty pharmacy had to mix it up. It is not covered by insurance but only $55 a month. ​And, in other news, I just have to share that my grandson was born this morning! My kids live in Argentina so it will be a while before I meet Aiden. I am looking forward to the trip! We have waited for him for a long time!

I am 12-yrs post gastric bypass. Back in the day, we did not have a treatment team to help us succeed in our journey. My surgeon, Dr. Vishal Mehta, told me, "I do the surgery. The rest is up to you." I was so focused on transforming my physical self and learning healthy eating that I never did the work to transform my inner self. I didn't even know it was part of the process. I think it is an important part of our transformation that is often overlooked -- we don't find ourselves. So I've been exploring finding myself, which has led me on a spiritual path where I've learned to love myself and others unconditionally. And I've started to share those experiences through my opinion pieces (articles) on BariatricPal. So I thought I'd put the links and synopisis here to those articles for those who may be on a similar path of finding themselves. I hope my experience in some way helps you on your journey to health in body, mind, and spirit. We all deserve to live a life we love! Soul Relationships, Part 1 Once we master our physical appetites we then begin to change the way we relate to ourselves and others. We are in a great transitional period. Our old way of being that was deeply entrenched in us was fearful. There is an awakening after obesity. We experience true living. Our lives can, in fact, be Heaven on Earth. True Love I grew up with a romanticized notion of love: One day my prince would come and life would be perfect. I still have my vision of him: A big, tall, dark and handsome dominate male, the stallion, who would rescue me, worship my feminine traits, but not possess me (except in the bedroom). Aside from the attributes in parenthesis, my fantasy man came straight from the Disney Princess movies of my childhood.

@@MichiganChic all true... My daughter took my granddaughter and me for this really awesome pedicure. We took photos. As I was looking through them I came upon one of my legs to my toes. I said WOW my legs look GREAT! Then I realized it was my daughter's legs. Then when I saw mine I was disappointed. LOL, it was momentary... do my thighs look great? Yes. Do they look like the thighs of a 28yo runner who's never even been overweight even once in her life. Not a chance! hahaha Yes, we have to be realistic.

@@MichiganChic your butt will change a whole lot over the next few months. You may end up loving your ultimate result. I went back and forth with my breast lift... I was a week or two out from surgery and spent the day crying about my breast lift... but I like it a lot now. I wish my breasts were higher on my chest but that cannot be changed. There is supposed to be 21 cm - I believe - from sternum to nipple but that isn't realistic in a MWL woman. We really do permanent damage to our bodies. It is amazing what my surgeons were able to do to put humpty dumpty back together again, LOL. What Capella and Winslow did truly takes my breath away. Enjoy your much younger looking than 52yo bod!