My Bariatric Life

I had planned to do that but my belly button was sooooooo darn cute that I did not want to ruin it. I got something else pierced and WOW did it hurt, but I LOVE it.

@ ugh, sick to my stomach when I read this news report, from a reputable source. that is not BDSM, that is a "man" binding and torturing a woman against her will. i have not been in a relationship of this sort but i do know it must be based on trust and respect between both parties and that there must be safety words (i.e. yellow, red, in the movie) that are adhered to without fail. i would have to literally trust a man with my life to feel safe to allow him to bind me... bound and blindfolded, i don't think i could give up that much control or trust someone that much... plus i love the visual pleasure of intimate relationships most especially looking into his eyes and connecting with his soul. i just took an online quiz and this is my result: YELLOW You are High Alpha (61%) and Mid Beta (26%), which means that you are dominant in most relationships but have the capacity to collaborate and compromise. However, you have to guard against imposing your strong will and overpowering people. You will match up well with a partner who has a strong Mid to High Beta profile and will allow your Alpha to lead. Your best match is with someone more laid-back than you, who will help you take the edge off when necessary (Blue or Pink). http://www.alphawomanthebook.com/quiz/alpha-beta-personality-types/ I love an alpha male but he's got to be tender and emotionally deep and insightful and share his soul (his true self) with me. I am independent and in no way want to feel controlled but I do want a man who makes me feel protected and secure, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. I cannot readily say that I want to be the dominant one in a relationship. I'd rather a unified relationship. I absolutely like a man to be dominant sexually, at least most of the time, if he is the right man for me. I like the feeling of emotional intimacy and surrender into bliss, the rich experience of having a primal connection with someone. I cannot say I have a lot of experience in this area. I've had only three lovers and got married at 19yo. to one of them. Interesting conversation. I like that you point out Universal truths. You seem Enlightened.

@@Cupcake often people change and fall out of love whom were once very much in love with one another. Soulmate relationships are often confused with twin flame relationships. You will have many soul mates but only one twin flame. I've been studying this a lot. You may want to Google it if it really interests you. I found it to be very accurate, almost to a T. I am writing a series on it for BariatricPal. Again if it interests you, please read my article Soul Relationships part 1 http://www.bariatricpal.com/page/articles.html/_/relationships-dating-and-sex/soul-relationships-part-1-r345

ah, but then affairs would not be taboo, either, right? when it comes to morality there are no universal rights and wrongs. what we judge as moral is very subjective. and societal constraints around morality are simply something someone in authority made up. i believe in autonomy.

so here's another embarrassing moment. it was a few months out of my tummy tuck. we were down the shore touring this house. i had to use the restroom. i pulled down my jeans and as I did so my hands ran over my bare buttocks. well i guess i assumed i'd pulled my panties down. so i am making my business and then i realize, oh soot i am wearing a thong. oh so sexy new me peeing in her black thong. Thankfully it was a private bathroom so i was able to wash the thong in the sink and put it back on.

@ hahaha So are there signs to look for that might signal a guy is into being a submissive before you get involved sexually?

I've heard this, as well, but have not experienced it for myself as I've been with the same man since I was 17yo. I did have a WLS/PS friend who was a natural femdom and the one relationship she told me about aligns with what you've said. He was a wealthy man with a lot of power and absolutely smitten with her because she would not give him whatever he wanted. She would deny him, insult him, and that made him want her even more. He offered to take her as his mistress and pay her a lump sum every month. But she denied him. Books and movies are often not reflective of reality, but rather experiences to entertain us and let us escape. If she would have gone so accurately into the BDSM it would not appeal to most people.

A friend had her body contouring and facial plastics with Dr. Stephen Kovach at UPenn in Philly. At this point I do not recall the price but I do remember it was less than I paid. She is completely thrilled with her results and with Dr. Kovach's bedside manner etc.

Mark has had a successful surgery, everyone. He should be going home today!

@@preopnurse yes some insurance plans will cover them if you meet their criteria. it sure would have been nice to get insurance to pay for mine.

Oh, I meant like Xbox and ping pong in my playroom.

@@pupichupi hmmm, I cannot comment on what I like sexually (not that you are asking me to do that) but I will go so far as to share this... coming out of the movie my husband asked me what I thought. And I replied that I've always wanted a playroom. He said I was weird. Seriously, most guys would be running out to get blueprints if a woman told them that.

On the topic of love, sex, and relationships, these are my articles on BariatricPal for anyone interested... True Love What Love is Not Soul Relationships You may find them here.

@@kcadoret I called it before he smelled her panties. I so knew he was going to do that. I've read that the storyline is about compromise and accepting someone as s/he is (which is what unconditional love is and what I wrote about in my articles on BaraitricPal). Would you say that is accurate?

@@Mel24 I haven't watched TV in years (aside from Walking Dead on Amazon Instant Video) so I don't know who any of these people are. I think the actor who played CG would be nuts to pass up the opportunity. Its his ticket to stardom.

@@pupichupi how deep do they get into BDSM in the books? Because if it got too much like the real thing, at least what I know the real thing to be, that would be a turn off for me. If you read my article True Love on BariatricPal then you know I like to be dominated in the bedroom, LOL, but not degraded or treated like a slave or have a ball stuck in my mouth and my arms hoisted up behind my back and hog tied...

@@Mel24 they definitely are. The author is arguing over more creative rights in the sequel.

@@mrs kaje maybe if someone dog eared the sex scenes in the book for me I would read those, hahaha. I read somewhere that the lesson underlying the trilogy is about compromise and accepting people as they are. I like that. I like that a lot. I wonder if most people take that away from the story?

FEAR I was afraid of rerouting my anatomy. I was afraid of surgery in and of itself. I waited a very long time to get my gastric bypass. I even cancelled my first surgery. When my fear of dying from obesity and related diseases (diabetes, hypertension, yikes!) became greater than my fear of the surgery, I went under the knife. It saved my life. Apparently I did not learn my lesson about letting fear hold me back. Karma has a way of coming back to us! I was forced to face my fear of surgery again. I really wanted plastic surgery. My dream was to have Dr. JF Capella do my body contouring. I was so thrilled when I finally had the appointment with him in 2007. I began saving money. And when I had enough saved for my surgery... I did not go through with it. I kept saving money, though. I saved for so long that I had twice what I needed. Still I did not get my surgery. FEAR! Finally in 2013 a set of synchronicities happened and finally I had my plastic surgery. In some ways it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. After that I vowed to never let fear hold me back again. And I have been living into that promise, living life fully and doing things I never would have done before because I'd let fear hold me back. Its been freeing.

@@mrs kaje HILARIOUS!!! I think romance novels are cloaked porn for the faint of heart who could never admit to their desires (at least not publicly). My colleagues are discussing 50 shades on Facebook and its socially acceptable, which sort of fascinates me because they're discussing a movie/book that is centered around a bondage fetish. I am sure my colleagues would never discuss pornography on FB (and I am thankful for that). So romance or porn, 50 shades is more a romance but there is a little more porn than is customary. Most romance novels are filled with sex but 50 shades goes a little deeper into sex because of the focus on BDSM (although inaccurately portrayed). But there is an intense emotional relationship between the lovers, as is true of any romance novel. The nature of their relationship was expected... I was saying some of the lines and plot twists before they occurred because it was so predictable. How did I know she would be a virgin? Predictable. For this movie to be rated good, I would have had to have seen the complete sexual act... but then it would be x-rated and likely not a box office hit. I am sure then my colleagues wouldn't be discussing it on FB! Porn on the other hand has zero relationship between the people having sex. It lacks the emotional foreplay, pun intended, of a romance, where the intense longing for sexual intimacy builds and the sex is climactic. And so the rest of the story ebbs and flows in a very formulaic theme. Porn is more like the pizza delivery guy gets sex from the customer instead of a $3 tip. Ha! A few years ago when the book was the rave in pop culture, I read an excerpt and the writing was absolutely awful. Really I should just sit down and write these. It would be easy money. Clearly there will be a sequel... apparently there are three books in the series... reminds me of that vampire romance that was out a few years ago and very popular. The Hollywood formula, if something works, do it again. What a long message... its nearly 5am and I cannot sleep, so this is what I do instead.

BTW say hello to home for me. I miss it. Funny how you realize how much you love something (or someone for that matter) when you let it go.

Thank you for the acknowledgement, Mark. That was very thoughtful and kind. I am so happy for you and proud that you had the courage to take control of your health, your happiness, and your life at such a young age! You have a long and wonderful life ahead of you. Always remember to live it fully and with no regrets! I also am glad that you have the support of a loving family and friends in your journey. That truly makes a vital difference. One can never have or give too much love. I followed you on Twitter and checked out your Instagram pix. The one pic you have of your full body already looks like you had plastic surgery! You look fabulous. When you are all done you'll have to do a photo shoot to Celebrate the new you! You'll be more fabulous than ever. With love upon you! Cheryl

@@TheProfessor I see we have a lineage in common Usui Shiki Ryoho. Might you recommend a good beginner book for me to read on Reiki, please? It is so good to hear all these testimonies for the benefits of reiki. I am looking forward to building my proficiency.

I had heard of reiki but new little to nothing about it. Last week I attended a healing session not knowing what to expect. Three practitioners hovered their hands above my body. One of them also used tuning forks. And I kid you not, it was an amazing experience. A sensation that I can best describe as tingling went through my body wherever they hovered their hands above me. I could keep my eyes closed and know where the practitioners' hands were hovering. It felt incredible. Have you ever experienced that surge of energy or electric when someone touched you? That's similar to the way that reiki felt, only they weren't touching me. At certain points they did lay their hands on me and I became nice and warm. I also experienced a very deep feeling of being loved. And I smelled the scent of cotton candy for a while, pleasantly sweet not overpowering. My interest was captured and I decided to take a class last night to learn how to perform reiki on myself and others. I have two more classes to attend with reading and practice in between. Has anyone tried reiki? It is considered complementary medicine, of which I am in favor. I think most disease affects us not only physically but also emotionally and spiritually. That certainly was true of my obesity and now my fitness. Anyway, I suggest that you give it a try. Here is an article on it: http://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2014/11/10/what-is-reiki

@@lisacaron thanks, Lisa, that is a great link. I was not aware that there are several forms of reiki. I've attained the first degree in the Usui system (Usui Shiki Ryoho). What other complementary modalities do you use or practice? I want to learn more about tuning forks and the 7 chakras. I did mindfulness based stress reduction years ago under a Jon Kabat Zinn instructor at a yoga center in NJ. And I've done two guided meditation classes recently that were very powerful. I also did a guided meditation many years ago with an art therapy teacher who did the class at a local hospital. I absolutely love seeing HCPs and medical centers incorporating whole body approaches into healing. I am pretty sure that Zinn began with cancer patients, but don't quote me on that. I recall reading an article by a surgeon who told of the ritual he and his surgical team do before operating on a patient. It was a combination of prayer and music to keep the ghosts (or something to that effect) away. It was a little scary because I read it before my big plastic surgery (which already had me very scared in and of itself) but I thought the surgeon was very brave to put a story like that out there in the mainstream. When I asked my plastic surgeon what he did to prepare for surgery he immediately thought I meant yoga or something like that. To me that was very telling... perhaps such practices are more common with HCPs and physicians that we might think. I've also enjoyed yoga the few times I've tried it. And decades ago I went to a psychiatrist for hypnosis to over come panic braking after I'd been involved in a car accident. I was surprised at how quickly that worked. I needed only a few sessions. I sometimes feel like a child discovering all these new dimensions of self and spirituality. I always was a late bloomer. Hopefully that mean I'll live for a long time! :-)