Djmohr

For me, it is Chinese food that really hurts me. My husband went out last night and brought home take out. This place has the best egg rolls ever. They are filled with shrimp, pork and chicken and of course the usual veggies.

I tried 2 bites of an egg roll and my stomach just turned. I could not eat anything after that. I ended up having a Greek yogurt a little later.

I usually have a couple of steamed chicken or shrimp potstickers and those Sitwell with me but I could not manage it last night after those two bites of egg roll.

Then of course my husband has drilled it into his head that he needs to eat whatever I don't. He gains weight and wonders why. I gently try to help him understand that he doesn't need to clean his plate or fill it that full in the first place and he certainly does not need to eat my left overs.

I won't be doing that again anytime soon.

Change is very difficult and unless your head and heart are both in it, it won't happen.

It took many years and much damage to my body before I finally decided I was ready to really change.

I like to think of it like the "Camel's back". For me the thing that broke the camels back was a serious life threatening diagnosis of stage 3 kidney disease.

Maybe your SIL will get there maybe she won't but she has to get there on her own. I am just thankful that you got there and you are doing fantastic!

Congratulations!!!!!

I have only been able to drink bottled Water at room temperature otherwise I swear my stomach actually cringes. It has to be the cold and I have learned to drink my water plain or with a lemon in it.

I too eat bacon, the real thing but I did not start eating bacon until I was about 8 months post op. Because of how little I eat, I do eat full fat cheeses, bacon, yogurt, cottage cheese. But, I really do stick mostly to quality Proteins, veggies and amazing fruit so that really helps control my diet.

I also believe in everything in moderation. If I want a brownie or some ice cream I have a small portion every once in a while. I find if I don't let myself have these foods at all, it is likely I will go off plan and be right back where I started.

Again, I did not even think of touching anything like that until I was post op about 8 months and down over 100lbs.

I keep lots of fruit, cheese and nuts around and in the front of the fridge or pantry.

I love the idea of frozen bananas or frozen yogurt so I need to get some of those in my freezer. YUM!

In fact I am watching a show on how to make frozen bananas right now.

Once I made the decision I knew I could do it. I am just one of those people who once on board will not miss her goals.

I will say that came into question last June when I learned I had to have major surgery and I still had 50lbs to go. I knew it would be a long recovery and my ability to exercise anytime soon would be very challenging.

So, I pulled up my big girl pants and knew that I absolutely had to stay on track with the meals portion or I would never get there. I was not going to let all the naysayers that told me I couldn't win.

This is just my opinion but if you stay positive and set realistic goals losing the weight will absolutely happen.

Now of course comes the really hard part, maintenance. I have learned over the past few months of maintenance that you have to work very hard, much harder than the weight loss phase if you want to maintain.

I can only imagine this gets harder as time goes by and of course all of the long term veterans are confirming that.

So, back to the shorter term goal setting for me. If I set goals, I will achieve them. If I give up, I will gain back. I don't even want that lousy 10 to 15% gain. LOL.

Yes there are always a few friends or family members that find it necessary to give you all the cons of this surgery without ever mentioning the pros.

I honestly ignore them and have since the beginning. I just don't let their negativity get to me. I hit goal in March and some of those naysayers are waiting for me to gain all my weight back now.

Now I listen to "you are way to thin, are you sure you are not anorexic now?" I just tune them out and really don't give them the time of day.

You do you and don't worry about them. Stay focused on why you chose to do this in the first place. Keep your eye on the prize whatever that might be.

I had a very hard time with the puréed stage. I could not tolerate meat or eggs right out of the gate.

I leveraged Protein shakes, cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, cream of wheat with Protein powder and milk. I literally lived on that for a month before they let me move on the the soft food stage. Then for the first 6 weeks of that I really stuck to fish like white fish, salmon and tuna. Now I can eat all meats but still cannot do eggs.< /p>

I can only eat a couple of ounces of meat at one sitting so I still drink 1 Protein shake a day that has 30grams of Protein and I always have 1 Greek yogurt.

Sometimes I still struggle at 22 months post op. I can only eat a couple of ounces of dense Protein at one sitting so I am still drinking one Protein shake per day.

I will also use cottage cheese and Greek yogurt as Snacks which helps but there are days where my 70gram Protein goal is still short at the end of the night. I will usually have a half of a Protein Bar or some beef Jerky to push me over the top.

Part of my struggle is my inability to eat eggs post surgery. I still cannot eat them without getting very sick to my stomach so I don't.

@@Shaunie

Not sure about you but I gained 11 pounds during that 3 days in the hospital. It is all the fluids they pumped into me.

I started to see a small change at 6 days and then wham. I swear there were days where I dropped between 3-5lbs a day. Keep in mind you usually get about a month to 6 weeks of that and then it slows to an much slower average. In the beginning I would lose about 3lbsper week and by the time I got to the end I was at an average of 1 lb per week.

Not sure which surgery you had, I had RNY so it was faster in the beginning than most sleeves but it all evens out in the end.

This may be a bit off-topic and I am NOT giving freedom to those who intentionally do themselves harm / disobey instructions, but.... Does anyone think that any of this "I can do whatever I want" is related to the increase in the number or surgeries and lack of care / instruction on doctors' part? I have heard that ANY general surgeon can perform bariatric surgery after completing a "workshop" (Or whatever that might be called). I feel like there are too many doctors out there trying to "get rich quick" off of this and not really investing in a "program". Additionally, doctors are finding ways to do it cheaper and cheaper (partly by not having to staff a team of people to have a complete "program"). I even went to someone who was a "Center of Excellence" and left because the NUT was absolutely horrid and never available. They had an RN on staff you might be able to reach but the surgeons were basically contracted to just do the surgery. (My point being that I don't think "Center of Excellence" designation is all it is cracked up to be.) I am just not sure doctors are helping patients see the seriousness of this procedure.

Anyway, I know I digressed but every time I see folks who don't know anything about post-op instructions, it worries me that the doctor(s) never took the time to educate them. I did a lot of my own research (including this site) and was still completely overwhelmed with remembering the info. Thank goodness for this website and then my intense desire to make this work and seeking out counseling and a viable NUT on my own. Without those 3 things, the "tool" as we like to call it would have been completely useless.

Regarding the rest of this conversation, I concur with most of you. The odd posts of very early post-ops seem mostly suspicious to me. If it appears to be a valid question and no one else has answered, I try to offer and opinion; otherwise, I try to just move on. I am immensely grateful for the information and advice I have received from the vets on here and want to pay it forward as much as I can but I have found myself of late a bit exhausted with some of the questions.

I totally agree that not every program is not what it should be and I am also appalled at how many "PCP or General Doctors" have no idea how to deal with a WLS patient. I feel like I am always teaching them.

That aside, I would not let someone rearrange my insides or remove 85% of my stomach without understanding the care plan or expectations afterward. There are just too many people who come here looking for permission vs. real support. I suspect in most cases they come to a place like this because their surgeons already made clear the expectations and they want confirmation that not following it won't kill them.

I don't know for sure but in the last few months there is so much of it that it is scary on here. What's worse is the number of new people who simply coddle/support them by saying your human, it was a mistake and we all make them.

They are not getting that they are supposed be setting up long term habits and when you start by eating bacon or drinking coke 0 right away, it's clear that they don't care. When you affirm those things for a food addict is like giving them permission to keep doing what they are doing, it will be ok.

Most of us who have had Bariatric surgery are addicted to food and/or have very poor habits. When one reads that someone else ate bacon or drank coke 0 right after surgery its like saying great, I can have this surgery and still do what I want and everything will be ok.

Well, it won't be ok and long term you likely will be right back where you started giving WLS a bad name.

I am sorry, I am like a dog with a bone on this one.......LOL. Maybe I need to eat. Bahahahaha!

I'm going to lump myself into the vet category since I am over a year out and surpassed goal. I think one thing that has not been mentioned is that as vets is that it is not our place to save anyone. We should strive to comment dispassionately on things that are known to be wrong.

I'm here for me. If I help people along the way, mores the better. If someone is self destructive, let them fail. Let them be the example to the others that don't want to listen to reason, wisdom, and experience.

Yeah, I know. I'm the @sshole.

I know 2 people that had WLS personally, well 3 I guess (old co-worker). Their failures taught me the things to avoid.

Eating regular food early = feeding tube

Not learning nutrition or how to eat healthy = regain

Not cooking =Regain

Viewing it as a diet = regain

Not logging food = regain

So there is a lot of learn from the failures of others. The only thing I see all the time on weightloss forums, is people aren't honest why they failed. They blame the surgery for not working, they blame their metabolism (which they never ever had tested). They never ever blame their actions or lack of action. They can never provide a detail of what they are eating.

I also feel like this rash of people having surgery are going to skew the statistics, make WLS seem less effective and make it harder for other people to get surgery through insurance in the future.

Anyway, I am still holding out hope that a lot of people are just trolls from the popularity of the app and not real WLS patients.

Right on! This is why I personally have gotten invested in these particular posts. Because there are so many people that this surgery has saved/helped.

It is so frustrating to me that people fight so hard to get this surgery and get denied and then others choose to squander their shot or more importantly put themselves in danger and then blame WLS.

The idea that you would remove 85% of your stomach or reroute your insides only to do something that could prove to be dangerous to the success of this surgery.

These are the people that actually put the success of WLS and the reputations of their surgeons at risk.

They ruin it for others.....I had a friend who had an open RNY that was riddled with complications to the point she actually had to have it reversed. At the time, I had not idea of what was required so when hers failed and she became very very ill, it scared me and kept me from even considering this surgery for more than 17 years.

Now that I know all the darn rules, I look back at what she did and I know exactly why her surgery failed. She honestly did it to herself.

She was my roommate so I know what crap she put in her body immediately following bypass. I know she did not even drink a single Protein shake, nor did she take Vitamins. She drank alcohol within the first 2 weeks and pretty much ate what the rest of the family ate which was a high carb diet of macaroni and cheese, Pasta dishes, bread, etc.

I watched her get sick every single time she ate.

When she had her surgery reversed she was 5'3" and weighed 89lbs. I know this because I took care of her 5 children while she was in the hospital for over a month on a feeding tube.

The surgery did not do this to her, she did it. Every bit of it. That kept me scared to death to even try.

This of course was the extreme and I am also guessing they did not know as much about Bariatric surgery 20 years ago. But at the end of the day, it was what I saw and believed and was terrified and did nothing all that time.

For me, being 310 lbs caused severe damage to my spine and joints that cannot be undone.

This is why I am passionate about people who potentially cause damage to the success of the surgery or the reputations of the surgeons, doctors and nurses who perform it.

Incidentally, my friend Peggy gained all of that weight back and then some following her reversal.

Also, I am guessing this is exactly why there is such a long drawn out process to even be approved for this surgery. They want to make sure you are ready and willing to do what it is going to take to make it happen.

Sorry for the length of this post, if it helps one person understand why I and many others are frustrated by the lack of accountability or worse yet, other people thinking it's no big deal "people make mistakes", then it's worth it because so many new folks on here are still learning.

@@MonicaEMT

I would be shocked if anyone responds with anything other than yes, everyone gets nervous before this type of surgery. It changes your life and change is always scary. Plus, you tend to let your head run away with worry, it is normal.

I leveraged deep breathing, lovely baths, listening to music through headphones that soothed me. By the time I got to the morning of my surgery I was no longer anxious I was so ready that it felt like Christmas morning as a kid.

You can control your frame of mind by relaxing, being good to yourself and focusing on all of the reasons you are giving your self this gift.

Having this surgery was the best thing I have ever done for myself and I thank goodness everyday that there are doctors and nurses that have learned how to help someone who is obese like me.

You will do great, just try to relax. Take a few minutes and breathe deeply an you will be surprised how calming this can be.

The best thing to do at this stage is eat before you go and bring a big bottle of Water with you.

When they serve lunch, you can simply take a spoonful or two of something and put it on your plate. Especially if there is something soft.

Then, jut push it around on your plate and join the conversation. It is really great when you realize that events like this do not have to be about the food. You begin to build new socializing tools. You keep the conversation going and people really don't notice what you eat or don't eat.

The other option would be to bring a dish along that you can enjoy and pass.

If someone asks let them know that you are simply not hungry.

It really is easier to deal with than you think. Also, you will be more worried about it than others will even notice.

@@Hannah83

I am so sorry! It is always so hard to lose a part of your family. When I first married my husband he bought me a Pekingese puppy for our anniversary which was on Halloween. So her name became Lady pumpkin Pie ala Mohr.

That dog was my 3rd child, literally and when she passed I was devastated. She developed a spinal issue that left her paralyzed. She could no longer control her bowels or bladder and we had to put her down. I don't think I was as upset when I lost other family members.

I cried a lot that first week but as time passes it does get better.

I am so sorry and I hope all your good memories brings you peace. I will be thinking about you!

Hugs!

@@CaliGirl77

Usually they use your original weight in the paperwork and if your insurance requires a specific loss, that will be included on the submission paperwork. Once paperwork is submitted it usually doesn't matter.

On the morning of surgery they also put me on the scale I assume to ensure I had done my part with the 2 week liquid diet.

That is most insurances but I don't think anyone can guarantee what your insurance company will do.

Now, your doctors office may not be happy with a gain either but if you have a pre op liquid diet you will definately lose anything you likely gain.

Just wait until after surgery when you go on a vacation and expect to gain, the opposite happens. I lost 14lbs over 10 days on my first vacation. LOL. I could only eat a tiny bit and we were so active it was crazy. I felt like a million bucks! Oh and I had Gordon Ramsey's Salmon for dinner one night. I had thought I went to heaven and died there. I literally was only able to eat an ounce or so but it was the best darn fish I ever had.

Have a good time!

@@healthierme317

Why yes, I have been asked that question. It is usually asked by people that really don't understand that obesity is a disease. Yes, that includes doctors and nurses.

When you are younger it is a lot easier to yo yo diet. You lose a bunch of weight and then gain it back along with a few extra pounds. Then you figure well, it wasn't that hard to lose it I can do it again anytime. You do that basically your whole younger life.

Then as you hit your late 30's, 40' and 50's you notice that it gets easier to gain the weight and much harder to lose it, in fact for me it became nearly impossible. That's when I started researching and talking with Bariatric specialists who confirmed it was not my imagination, that is exactly how a metabolic disease works.

Why will Bariatric surgery work this time? Well first it is a tool that will make it possible for you to lose the weight. ALL OF IT if you so choose. More importantly it will help you to keep it of long term.

If executed correctly you actually learn new habits and learn to eat healthy. I actually love the way I eat now. I crave quality Proteins, healthy veggies and love love love fresh fruit. Before I had surgery, I craved sweets, Pasta, rice, bread....fast food, junk food.

Occasionally I have a craving (tonight it is donuts, ugh) but I have learned how to substitute my sweet addition through fruit. So tonight I will have half a grilled peach with a ricotta, cinnamon mixture and a tiny drizzle of honey if I so choose.

I really do not crave the other stuff...none of it.

Anyway, that is how I always answer that question. It is about keeping the weight off long term and it is a proven fact that some WLS actually help you to do that.

Wow, you do have a lot to think about ahead of time. I am glad you have time now to plan it all out.

Just another heads up, not sure if you wear wide shoes now but I swear the first places I noticed weight loss was in my feet and fingers. So within about a month of my surgery my shoes got big and sloppy. I now wear a size smaller shoe and in some styles I am a narrow vs a EE width.

It really is crazy where we lose the weight.

Well, best of luck to you!

Hi there!

I don't have the same insurance but I wanted to welcome you! I think there are quite a few people on here that can help with your question regarding insurance.

It does sound like you have a lot of your stuff together though so hopefully it won't be too long of a process for you.

I find that I have days like that too and before I know it, it's 8 or 9pm and I haven't had dinner. EEEK!

Yes, this process can frustrate the heck out of you but I promise if you follow the plan the weight will come off.

Your body just needs a bit of a break once in a while.

I remember when I was 11 months post op and had stalled for the umpteenth time. I posted almost the same thing you just did.

Someone responded with you are probably done at this point. WAIT, I am not ready to be done. That's not possible, did I really go through all of this just to end up short of goal?

Many others reminded me that the further away you get, the slower it goes but stay the course and the weight will come off.

I will say that as time went on I found that I did have to make changes to what I was doing and what I was eating. I learned that I wasn't eating enough and my body went into starvation or, I was eating and exercising the exact same way for a couple of months and my body did not like the repetitive behaviors. Just a small change got things going again.

You will get there given your record for following the plan. You just have to believe it yourself and move forward.

Congratulations on a great start!

@@James Marusek

Exactly how it was for me.....I swear I could look at food and gain weight. I also lost my mother to complications of obesity at 66. I swore I would not do that to my kids, I was lost without her and still am.

As you said, this really is the best thing I have ever done. I have not looked back for a second.

Hi there and congratulations on getting your surgery scheduled! It is such a fun and exciting time when you get that date and your mind goes crazy with everything you have to do.

I know I did a lot of prep that I wish I wouldn't have. In terms of food, you have know idea what you will tolerate post op. My nut had me make purees of chicken and turkey and freeze them in tiny 2 oz. containers. Well, when I got to the puréed stage I pulled a couple out and found that I couldn't tolerate it at all. If I had to do things over the only thing I would prep ahead of time is good quality bone broth. I lived on this stuff and without it I might not have been able to tolerate my 2 week liquid pre op diet nor my 1 week clear liquid diet. This broth was hearty delicious and very very soothing to my new tummy.

I also would not select my Protein ahead of time. I did that as well and found that after surgery I became lactose intolerant and had to give all of that away or throw it away. I must have spent $200 on Protein powders that I could not tolerate the taste of or how it sat in my pouch. I ended up taking the advice of my Bariatric nurse who suggested trying Premier Protein and I still drink one a day.

The clothing thing is another big crazy deal. I bought clothes in varying sizes ahead of time only to find out I skipped sizes and never wore them.

I learned quickly to buy one pair of jeans and one pair of dress slacks and a few tops. I went from a size 26 to a size 8 rapidly. I think I spent $500 on clothes that I never wore and had to sell or donate.

Just food for thought if buying clothes think about how long you could really stay in what you are wearing before changing sizes because it really does get expensive. Also shopping in thrift stores or online at places like eBay helps with the cost.

Staying at Venice beach sounds absolutely lovely post op. I wish I could have walked in the warm weather. Weather like California's just makes you feel better and healthier.

Also San Diego is a way better shopping experience so I think you are on the right path.

Make sure on your flight back that you get up and walk around a lot! You certainly don't need a blood clot. Also, make sure you have plenty of bottled Water or even non caffeinated tea. Warm Water is soothing to a sore tummy.

Lastly I would really worry about how much you can lift right after surgery. I hope someone can meet you at the airport in Japan to pull your bag off. In LA, make sure and ask someone to help you load your bag onto the conveyor as well.

Please take care and reach out if you need anything or have questions.

@@goplay94123

Love black cod when I can find it! This sounds delicious and I may have to try it. Thanks for sharing.!

@@okiegirl1980

Please don't get discouraged. You are pre op and honestly I did the same thing and after 9 months list only 3lbs prior to my pre op liquid diet.

By the time some of us get to surgery our metabolism is so screwed up that it takes a huge change like drinking nothing but Protein shakes and Clear liquids to get things moving.

If your surgeon requires a loss prior to surgery you may have to go liquid sooner.

My surgeon is the one who was not at all surprised that I wasn't losing any weight pre op. As my hubby told him, she barely eats how the heck can she not lose weight? It really does happen. For me, my age played a huge part along with my lack of a productive thyroid.

Keep your chin up, don't give up! You can do this and if you need help private message me. Or if you just want to talk.

@@deanieluv6

If you did not have back pain before surgery it could be kidney stones which is very common after WLS. I suggest calling your surgeons office ASAP

I hope you feel better soon.