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How did you do it? Honestly it is getting old trying to discern who I am comfortable telling and who I am not. If I do share that I had surgery it is always followed by people sharing the horror stories or them wondering if I get sick a lot. For someone like me who has yet to have dumping, always feels pretty good it can get old. It's almost like a canned response that has become mechanical. If it is someone who really is interested because they themselves have been considering surgery I don't mind talking all day about it. That is rarely the case though.

It really is important to know what you are consuming to try to help you through this. I know that I had some long stalls along the way as well and thought I was done losing. The reality is you likely need to make an adjustment because your body has gotten too used to what you are doing and has stalled. For me, I had to raise my calories but also adjust my carbs/protein. For me I started eating almost the same things for Breakfast and lunch every single day along with even the same Snacks. For dinner I would change up my Proteins and veggies but it always amounted to the same calorie/carb/protein count daily. That would get me stuck after a while. I began to change up what I was eating and even changed what exercises I do to help my body get out of a rut. I think the longest stall I had was about 4 months. I reached goal in March and things settled down. Now in the last month I dropped another 8lbs and that is because I really did change those routines. If you provide us with more info, we might be able to help you get past this stall. I do not believe you are done.....you just need to adjust. If I can get to goal even after not being able to exercise for the last year due to 3 major surgeries....anyone can. I had no choice but to control my diet because I could only do PT type exercises. Nothing that really burns calories. Hopefully this makes some sense?

@@Tiffany2015 HUGS x 10! I am so very sorry that you are going through such a tough time. I hope that you take the time to speak with a therapist who can help you with the grief that you feel. You seem like a very positive person and positivity always helps me through tough situations so leverage it as much as you can. As others have said, menopause sucks but it does differ for each individual. I had a hysterectomy in 2003 but they left my ovaries. Now I am going through menopause and I have some pretty severe symptoms. I have chosen not to take anything for them. One thing I will tell you is gaining weight is not one of them. Leverage what you learned to help manage your weight. I actually am struggling to stop losing at this point having reached my goal in the spring. There are tricks that you learn to deal with the hot flashes which for me truly are the worst. They leave me soaked to the bone and then of course I get very cold. So I try to ensure that I do things to not trigger as many of them. I have a fan next to me in the living room and I sleep with a fan on in the bedroom. I try not to wear clothing that I know will make me warmer because just being overly warm will trigger one for me. I always have a light jacket with me because if I am not flashing I am freezing cold to the bone. Hopefully you will have little to no symptoms, you have certainly had enough stuff to deal with and you deserve a break. I will say prayers to help you through this. We will be thinking about you. Please keep us posted and reach out if you need anything.

@ You are doing fantastic but clearly you already know that. Obese family or friends are usually the ones that seem to be the most jealous a$$holes of all. It is because they are still in a place where they are ok living the way they are. Many are younger and have yet to have serious comorbitities but don't worry, their time will come. If I were you, I would use this as motivation to get to a healthy weight and stay there. This would be a good way to stick it right up their you know what. Do not let them take your power away in the future! They are not worth your time. Good luck on continuing success!

I love the idea of a vets only restricted. Time post op makes a lot of sense. Nice work!

How very scary! I hope that everything gets better quickly and they figure out what the heck is going on. I have not heard of this happening before.

I can honestly say I thought the drinking and eating thing would be the hardest to deal with but the truth is, it is the easiest for me. I drink tons and tons of Water all day long so I am well hydrated. When I eat it does not bother me at all. I can say for me maintenance has been the hardest for me. I simply cannot find a place where I am neither gaining or losing. This is complicated by the fact that I have been on a lot of medications that caused me to gain some weight. I have been weaning off of them now and the weight is flying off and I seriously don't want it to at this point. I am comfortable where I am and like the way I look and I definately do not want to have to purge my clothing yet again. I have finally built up enough of a wardrobe to feel decent about it. Lately I have been losing weight rapidly again for me having lost nearly 10lbs in the last 3 weeks. That was following a gain of 4lbs about 8 weeks ago. I have even added some good carbs back in and my carb count is now higher than my Protein count and yet I am losing weight. Yesterday I ate more than I ever have and I hopped on the scale and lost 1/2 pound again yesterday. I had about 1700 calories which is really hard for me to do. For me, this has been the hardest part.

I will say I started out telling anyone who asked and that worked just fine for me. Especially if the person asking was overweight or obese themselves. I did this mostly because I really wanted others to realize that having WLS is not as scary as it sounds. I will say over time (I am 21 months post op), I have changed that approach a little. I assess the person asking me. If I get the feeling they are just being nosy I share that I follow a high Protein low carb diet, I exercise as much as possible and I track everything I eat. This is the truth, sometimes I simply choose not to add that I have add some surgery to help me be successful. The reason I have changed this approach is because I have learned that this really is more about my behaviors at this point than it is about the surgery. Having had to work my behind off to get this far, i feel like the bypass is just there in the background helping me along and it is none of any bodies business. Before I knew better I believed it really was the surgery that was creating my success. Now, I know that is 90% me and 10% the tool. That is because I can eat anything I want, I can eat around my surgery if I choose to, I can decide not to exercise and I will gain my weight back. So nearly 2 years post op, I have to work at this every single day. Not sure if that makes sense to others but it does to me.

@@mreckner I had RNY 21 months ago. I was a mess! High blood pressure, high cholesterol, severe gerd, sleep apnea, anemia, diabetes and stage 3 kidney disease. I also had arthritis of the knees, ankles, spine, shoulders. As soon as the weight started coming off the pain in my feet and knees disappeared! So did all of those nasty comorbitities! I am still struggling with the damage to my spine and shoulders which is permanent and won't get better with time. I tell you this because you have young children which likely means you are young. If I regret anything it is waiting until I was 51 to bite the bullet and have this surgery. I missed out on so much but worse yet, the damage to my spine continued to get worse. I literally weigh a little more than half what I used to at 159. My highest weight was 315. It is the best thing I ever did for myself! Everything will be fine if you do what they tell you to. You have a whole support team here behind you.

Yes......I defiantly have problems with this. Last week I had an episode and because I am coming off some medications thought it was from that. Before I realized that my sugar was too low, I was in a very confused state, home alone, shaking like a leaf. For one second my brain thought maybe this is actually your sugar. I took it and it was 47! That was the lowest it ever has been. Why it happened that day I don't understand. For me it happens when I choose to have oatmeal or cream of wheat for Breakfast. I know that I need to make sure I have a mid morning snack heavy on the Protein followed by a heavy protein lunch. If I do that, I don't get it. This particular day I was very focused on high protein low carb. I simply do not know why it happened that day but when it does it is scary how fast you crash and how confused I become. I have been told by my Bariatrician that it is best to really stay away from carbs in general. The problem for me with that is I am in maintenance and having a difficult time to stabilize. I am supposed to be maintaining and have lost 8lbs in the last 3 weeks. I also contribute that to some of the medications I was taking that I am no longer taking. I think this could be a vicious circle for me. I am now 159, strarting to move toward the lower end of the BMI scale and honestly feeling too thin at this point. If I lose below 155 I am going to get really nervous......

There was a post earlier this week using these exact stats. At least we know where it is coming from now. It makes sense that in the super morbidly obese category. Not sure where you currently sit in terms of size but this would certainly be a great starter question when you meet your surgeon. I would follow up with asking him/her what his/her mortality rate is. When you ask the surgeon they are usually pretty good about sharing the details of any death they might have had as well. I would also venture to guess that staying over 600lbs and not having surgery has a higher death rate even yet. This is just a guess....given everything we know and have learned. If anyone has that mortality rate it might put things into perspective for people considering but struggling because they are afraid of the surgical death rate. I was morbidly obese weighing 310lbs and sick as a dog. I honestly would have made this decision even if the mortality rate was 1 in 50 but again that is me. I wanted to be here long term for my children and grandchildren. Best of luck to you!

Really, you are frustrated already? LOL... Your body has lost 16lbs already! That is really great! You have to be patient with this process. You did not gain it overnight and you won't lose it that way either. There will be many many stalls over the period you lose. As you get closer to your goal it will really slow down so you have to be patient and stay off the scale if it is going to freak you out so quickly. Your body has to take breaks in between losing, just stick to the plan and your weight will come off. The first stall happens around week 3. You are right on track. Best of luck!

My father N Law is the worst food pusher of them all. It's weird because I see him every Sunday and sometimes in between. He is always looking at me weird and telling me how pretty I look now that I am thin. Then comes the, do you want a piece of cake or he is always pushing butter pecan ice cream on me. Of course I never take it and no matter how many times my hubby and I tell him that ice cream gives me a tummy ache, he still does it. Many times badly enough to put it in a bowl and hand it to me. I just don't understand why someone does that? Then he will say things like, I am so sad that you can't have ice cream. "That's just terrible, it's a shame....." I always respond by saying I honestly dont even care about ice cream. I would rather eat some fresh strawberries or cherries or steak! LOL. He just doesn't understand and I am certain it has to do with his age. He thinks that I completely screwed up the rest of my life. It's too funny because I am thrilled with how I look, how I feel and that food no longer has a hold on me. I simply eat to live, not live to eat like before.

@@AnnaValenka There are a couple of things that I would do if I were you to ensure that you remain on track. 1. Absolutely stick to the no drink with food at least 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after you eat. You could be flushing what you are eating right down causing you to feel hungrier although at 6 weeks it is very unlikely you are feeling real hunger. It is likely head hunger and you have to learn to distract yourself. 2. 1 cup of food is a lot for 6 weeks post op. I am 21 months post op and unless I am eating salad, I can't even eat 1 cup of actual food. When eating dense Protein, I am luckily if I can get 3 oz. in. Dense protein will also keep you full longer. 3. You have to find a Protein Drink that works for you that has both low sugar, low carbs and high protein. It took me several weeks before I found one that works. I use Premier Protein ready made shakes which has 30 grams of protein in it. I understand we don't absorb much more than that at any one sitting. 4. When you wrote your post I got the impression that you are guessing how much you are actually eating? I may have got the wrong impression but if you are not measuring and tracking, calories find a way of sneaking in. One of the best habits I built for myself was tracking my food every day, good or bad. That way I know exactly what I put in my mouth. As time goes by you will get a good sense of what 1/4 cup or a 1/2 cup is. My diet did not allow for a full cup of food until I was a year out and honestly I rarely am able now at 21 months post op. There are a lot of mixed write ups about where a pouch actually stretches or not. The reality is the first 8 weeks you are very swollen, when the swelling goes down, you have more room. At or near the year mark, you actually get more comfortable with filling your pouch and so it may seem like you can push more in or that it stretched. That is why measuring is a really good thing to do. I am glad to hear you are meeting with your nut because it sounds like you just need to get back to basics. At this stage your body really doesn't need a lot of food, it's needs hydration, protein and Vitamins to do well. Also, your weight loss is actually great! Be prepared that it will definately change in the coming months and if you are not prepared mentally for it it can be demotivating. I was a slow loser, losing about 100lbs in my first 9 months. Then it took me another 10 months to lose the remaining 50lbs. If you can, take advantage of the honeymoon period where you will lose the most weight. That is typically the first 6 months before your real hunger kicks back in. Best of luck to you!

Congratulations on your initial weight loss. That is not easy to do, especially the older we get and the more screwed up our metabolism is. Remember obesity is a metabolic disease. I lost weight so many times in my life from different diets and exercise. At first it was easy. I tried a low fat diet and lost 60lbs and got back to a normal weight for my height. I gained it all back and added more. I then tried Jenny Craig, Atkins, Slimfast and trim spa. I lost 60 to 80lbs each time then gaining it back and adding some more until I weighed 310. By that time my metabolism was so screwed up that I could not lose anything. I was never a big eater but it was about eating a crappy diet. I was actually a 310lb malnourished adult. Crazy isn't it? Anyway, I share this simply to get you thinking about the reasons why you were even considering it in the first place. If you think you can lose it and keep it off then great! You should do that for sure. If you think you will revert back to old overeating and eating the wrong diet then you likely need a tool to help you to not gain it all back. Either way, you really have to change the way that you eat forever to get healthy. I do not think there is any way around that and for me, I knew I needed a helping hand. The best of luck to you, I hope you find the healthy life you are looking forward to.

The answer is yes absolutely but you have to work hard for it. I am 21 months post op. I have lost about 150lbs and am currently at a normal bmi for my height. I started at 310 and am currently 160. It took me longer than most because I had 3 major surgeries starting at about 9 months post op. 2 spine and one shoulder. This meant that after 9 months I had to control my weight loss specifically from diet alone after the initial 9 months. Incidentally I never I a million years thought I could do it and was scared to death that I would really screw it up when I found out I needed a 3 level cervical fusion last June. I was scare I would gain it all back again because up to that point I had been doing about an hour of cardio a day and had lost about 100lbs up to that point. I had 50 more to go and let me tell you after the first 6 to 8 months you have to be truly diligent because things slow down. I lost at about 3 to 5 lbs per month after that reaching my goal early this spring. You have to do your part but I am telling you if I could do it anyone can. Best of luck to you and feel free to reach out with questions. I also have before and after photos if you click on my profile.

I have not seen any teens on this site for the most part. I do have mixed feelings about this but mostly I would support it. Honestly so many folks that are obese and super obese have been suffering since they were young children and the child obesity rate continues to soar. I say this all the time, if I could have done this when I was young I certainly would not have all this damage to my body. I had surgery at 51 and wish I would have done it in my early 20's. I just didn't know enough and honestly did not realize the sheer damage one can do. For me, my spine is a complete disaster. I have had to have 6 spine surgeries and I am permanently disabled. I have also had to have shoulder surgery for the same reason. Osteo arthritis. Too much wear and tear on my joints. Not not mention that being younger might help with things like excess skin and building longer term good habits at a much younger age. While I do understand the issue about exploiting children, the damage to them from everything that results with child obesity might be even worse. If a documentary show helps even a small number of children make better life decisions then honestly I am for it. I do understand that this might not be popular with others on this site but so be it. My opinion comes from my personal experiences and I think that something like this would have educated me at a much younger age. I will say that I was overweight in my teens and became obese in my early 20's. Had I been obese as a child it would have been absolutely devastating and my head would have been more messed up than what it was. This is just my opinion.......

@@beccaconaty87 I am glad to see you are reaching out and doing some research before plunging forward. From all the responses you have received you can see most of us would not have chosen to move forward if the death rate you quoted was true. What's funny is most people don't understand how much safer these surgeries are given how dangerous staying obese actually is. Your best chance of getting to a healthy weight, keeping it off and extending your life is by choosing one of the WLS tools like RNY Bypass, Sleeve or even the lap band. I am not sure of your current statistics like weight, height and age but I can tell you, the longer you stay obese the more long term damage you do to your body. Everyone always asks me if I regret having RBY Bypass. My only regret is waiting until I was 51 to have it. I damaged my joints, my spine and my kidneys by staying obese so long. I am now 53, 5'10" and I weight a slim 161lbs. I look fantastic and aside from my severe spine arthritis, I am healthy!! I no longer have diabetes, high blood pressure, anemia, sleep apnea, high cholesterol. My stage 3 kidney disease is in remission! I used to wear a size 24 jeans/26 slacks and 26/28 tops. I now wear a size 8 jeans/10slacks and Large or 10/12 top! I would not use death as the reason not to have this surgery. Focus on the reasons you are considering it. Do all your research and follow all of the instructions and you will do fine. People have complications and even die when they don't do what they are supposed to. Getting up and walking after surgery is critical to your success. Drinking all your fluids, Protein and Vitamins is critical to long term health following any weight loss surgery no matter how much you don't like the taste of protein. I promise you, every ounce of work you put in is so worth the end result! This decision was the best thing I have ever done for myself. Best of luck to you!!!!

@ Congratulations on your progress. I am sorry that you have gotten there with a stricture and hope that they resolve that quickly for you so you can get back on track with getting your Protein mostly from food. I myself still drink one premier Protein shake per day which gives me 30 grams first thing in the am. My protein tests have been great so far but 21 months post op I still have a pretty tight restriction only able to eat a few ounces of dense protein. I can certainly eat larger portions of veggies or fruit but dense protein fills me up fast and keeps me full and I cannot eat enough of it to get all of my protein from only that. Thankfully my team is comfortable with my having one protein shake per day. In terms of your goal, you are probably right. As you lose the next 35 you will likely reassess. I have done that several times now thinking I would be way too thin at 165 which is the high end of the bmi chart for someone my height. I am currently at 161 and I certainly will begin to worry if I go much below 155. Mostly because in places I am very thin and the weight seems to still come off of those places instead of where I know I still have fat. It's weird the way that works. I definately would prefer to stay somewhere between 155 and 165. It feels good to me to stay in that range. In terms of maintenance I feel like I still do not have that figured out. I reached my goal in early spring and I seem to gain when I think I should be ok and lose when I adjust. Recently I started weaning off some medications they were using to try to control chronic pain. As soon as I started taking them I started gaining and almost immediately as I started to wean off I started losing rapidly again. For example.... I gained 5lbs about 6 weeks ago. I started weaning about 4 weeks ago and in the last 3 weeks I have lost 8lbs. I really haven't changed too much except the medications so obviously I need to make a adjustment to my diet. Maintenance is going to drive me insane until I figure it out. Best of luck to you and I certainly hope that your stricture is resolved soon. I also wanted to let you know that 21 months out and I do get hungry but it is quickly taken care of with a few ounces of something good for me. Also, it seems to come in waves where one week I will be hungry and another I have little to no appetite and have to really work hard to get 1000 calories in me. Those weeks I am hungry I consume between 1200 and 1400 which is enough for me given my very limited exercise routine.

Ummmm, yum. Good for you! The hardest thing for me in that first 6 months was trying to get things flavored properly for my family. I am an excellent cook. My granddaughter who is 12 calls me the family chef and comes to stay with me for a week at a time just so she can enjoy my cooking and cook with me. The problem of course is I cook from memory and taste and Lordy was my taster broken!!!! At first I did not taste at all, I would have my son or hubby taste because I wasn't eating what I was cooking most of the time. Then, I started cooking differently for my whole family so I could actually taste things. Now I cook all the time and I still love it but I really have to be very careful because I have found that my tasting causes me to be full before I even put food on my plate. It is especially bad when making things like mashed potatoes! (LOL). I find that I have to really watch it. I also find after 21 months that dinner is my toughest meal. I really cannot eat much for dinner at all. And if I don't, I am then hungry later at night so I try hard not to taste much, to avoid snacking on anything before dinner. Also what I cook has really changed a lot because I don't like to cook more than one meal for the whole family. Only once or twice a week do I even make a starch. Mostly we have become a meat and veggies family...... And no, I don't miss all the pastas I used to make......pasta makes my pouch hurt. Good luck with your cooking!!!!

@@beccaconaty87 Hi there and welcome! I think almost everyone has initial fears of what could happen. The reality is, what will happen if you choose to wait and do nothing? I know for me, I waited way too long before taking the plunge and moving forward. I had RNY bypass and I thank god every single day that I decided to move forward. I was 51, 5'10" and weighed 310lbs. I had numerous comorbities and had just been diagnosed with stage 3 chronic kidney disease as well. My kidney Doctor is the one who suggested that I do something now or would be looking at a dialysis and possibly a kidney transplant down the road. All because I was obese. The answer to the question is yes, you will have loose skin but let me tell you, I would much rather have loose skin that carry around almost another whole me! I have lost 149lbs. I weigh 161 which is a healthy normal weight for my height. Before my surgery I was 310lb and I was actually malnourished!!!! I did not eat a lot. In fact, my family could not understand how the heck I was overweight. The reality was I ate a carb heavy crappy diet. Now, my body craves quality Protein, vegetables and fruits. I don't get sick, I pretty much eat whatever I want in small quantities. I simply don't care for the crappy junk foods I ate previously. Please try to get yourself in to see a nutritionist and a physcologist before you wait way too long. My only regret is that. I caused my bones and muscles a lot of damage that cannot be undone. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Get yourself some help to work through this along with your partner. My husband is thrilled with how I look. He found me beautiful before but now he says I am hot too! And other men have noticed me as well...... I will have some plastics to take care of my extra skin on my arms, tummy and to have a breast lift but because you are young you may have better results. I would also just mention that of course someone losing that much weight looks crazy thin and may even initially look sickly. The reality is, we as a country are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that we no longer understand what normal looks like. I am slowly getting used to how I look and so are my family members. Many times I have had people tell me I am too thin but I know that is not true. The reality is they have only ever known me as fat or obese and it can be shocking but they get used to it. When I meet new people and they learn I was once obese, they are shocked because I look fantastic now. I have had several tell me they never would have know that I was once fat. Which means that loose skin I have is more about me knowing it is there than anyone else. I don't wear compression garments either because I have such bad arthritis that they are too hard to get on and off. I hope sharing some of this eases your mind a little bit...... Best if luck to you!

@@JennyJennJen Good luck to you with this approach. It is not something that I would choose for myself but to each his/her own. I did want to ensure that you understand that you can always enjoy the "yummier" foods as you call it with bypass or sleeve. You simply only find yourself wanting to indulge once in a while and very small portions. I honestly eat what ever I want at this stage being 21 months post op. The funny thing is, because the first year of my post op I built really great eating habits I simply don't want what I used to think was yummy. For example.....I used to eat out at least once per day and a lot of that was fast food that I thought was delicious. I used to eat a lot of candy and sweets and junk food for that same reason. I still find that there are foods that I love and can have but for the most part my body craves healthy Protein, delicious vegetables and succulent fruits. Had I not built those excellent behaviors during that first year, I probably would still be a malnourished obese person like I was. I was 5'10" 310lbs and yes, I was malnourished among other things. Now I am 5'10" and 161lbs and I wear a size 8! I have a closet full of beautiful clothes, food has become not so important in my life anymore and I am so thankful for it! I truly mean the best of luck for you. I just know without these major life changes I would not have been successful and I know that if I tried something like the aspire assist I would not have gotten here.

Congrats on your surgery and your new friends! You do not need people like that in your life while you are going through such a significant life change anyway!

First I will say, if you are following the plan you will continue to lose the weight. Second, stalls suck. Get used to them because there are many more the closer you get to your goal weight. Third, if you follow the plan you will get to your goal. Believe me......I never in a million years thought I would ever see a normal weight again and yet I am here. It took 18 months for me to hit my goal. I was slower because I had 3 major surgeries shortly after my bypass which left me unable to exercise for the last 12 month. Prior to that I was doing and hour of cardio every day. I still do pt exercises daily but nothing that is going to cause me to expend lots of calories. I stuck to the diet and still lost everything I wanted to and even a little more. Take a deep breath and get off the scale if you can't handle the stall because I promise you will stall. Your body absolutely has to have time to rest in between. That last 20lbs I lost....I would lose a pound or two in a month and stall out for a few weeks then wham I would lose a couple more and stall again. That is simply the way it goes. Don't be in such a rush to lose it all fast because your body adjusts better the slower you lose. This is just my opinion......

I think I spit Water out of my nose while reading the OP! Love the rant and especially the funny that you brought with it. I do think many many people have sub par medical support. It just isn't the same for everyone leaving many unanswered questions. This is the place that people come and that's great. It seems you can always vett out those that simply don't want to listen to their medical professionals. They are usually the folks drinking alcohol soon after surgery or going right back to old crappy behaviors.