Dabliss111114

Hi. My name is Deb and I had my gastric bypass surgery on Nov. 11, 2014. I'm looking to either start or join an "in person" support group in the Charlotte, NC area. As we go through this process, it's no secret that we have questions, have days of frustration, and sometimes just need to "vent" a little. I'm thinking we can meet either at the homes of those in the group on a rotating basis, or at some public location like a Starbucks or something similar. Anyone interested??? If so, please respond, and we'll see what we can get going. Deb

I know I'm probably going to be preaching to the choir but here goes. I know I'm on my way to a much healthier life filled with compliments and praises from people who see the difference. I so happy that I made the decision to have my surgery and dealing with the skin issues afterward is something I'll address after I reach my goal. What most people don't see or even know is that we even have the loose skin or the jiggle of the fat that still needs to be lost. Exercise helps with muscle tone and strength, but fat will only break down so fast, and not overnight. It's ok by me because I know that in the end I'll not only look better/different, but will be healthier than I've been in nearly 20 yrs. I think so many of us could be left with yet another issue to contend with because of all the extra skin, and how it can have a huge impact on how we view ourselves even after the dramatic accomplishment. Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled beyond belief to have had the opportunity to have my surgery, and that so many strides have been made in the area of obesity in general. Here's my issue..... Insurance companies have finally gotten to a point where they'll pay for the WLS but still lag behind in agreeing to cover the surgery needed to complete the process of our transformations. Right now plastics is only covered if it can be proven that there's a "medical" reason for having it such as infection or pain. At least this is the way I understand it to be. I wonder about how many WLS patients have just as much emotional pain as they did before surgery because of the residual skin and the inability to get past how it may affect their lives. If the goal is to promote good health in general, where does mental and emotional health come into play? Surely the majority of patients that look into having plastics done aren't doing it because of vanity!!! With the extra skin clothes may not fit the way the patient envisioned they would, or it has an impact on their intimate life, or they continue to have self esteem issues. With all that being said I've been wondering if and when the insurance companies will come around and finally help with the cost of the procedures that WLS patients may need after they reach their weight loss goals. I remember years ago when having varicose vein surgery was considered "cosmetic" and also not covered by insurance. Now just about every procedure involving spider and varicose veins is covered by most insurances either partially or completely depending on the plan. Women all over that have a tiny blue vein around an ankle or behind a knee are running to surgeons to get them fixed, and insurance pays for it. Am I wrong to think that the WLS patient is extremely deserving of a plastic surgery procedure that may be necessary because of the dramatic results of their surgeries. Just wondering....

You are an inspiration..... Don't let the dog out>>>> You know, like the song.. hang tough with the dog and the docs. You can do it!!!

@@CanyonBaby I've been out of the loop over the past several weeks tying up loose ends after my father in law's death, and dealing with some behavior issues my mom is having due to her Alzheimer's but you and Dave have been in my thoughts. I'm glad the chem has started and that Dave is tolerating it fairly well. Having you as his support person is a blessing. I hope you're at least trying to get enough sleep so that you don't get too exhausted and worn out. Like I said before....you'll be little or no good for Dave if you don't take care of you too. From reading your updates I want you to know that I am in awe of your strength and positive outlook on things. I believe that's half the battle. You obviously are a very strong woman and there's a special place in heaven for people like you. Dave is a lucky man. Continue to hold on to your faith, and know that you have tons of folks praying for you every day. By the way..... to hell with the insurance companies....what do they know..... besides, it's not like they don't have enough money to cover your claims. You just keep doing what you're doing and the paperwork will all sort itself out. Just make sure Dave gets every test and every treatment he needs to have to fight this thing. Hugs. Deb

If you're able to walk 2-3 miles that's terrific. Even if you're only doing it several days a week, it's better than nothing. My doc preaches about exercising every single day for a minimum of 30-45 minutes. In theory that's great but in reality I think most post surgery aren't able to do that much exercise because they simply just can't. I couldn't walk to my mailbox without my knees hurting like crazy or being out of breath. I started slow and now I'm able to walk about 2 miles at a time. I try to walk at least every other day and also get to the gym a couple to 3 times a week. I know that I really do feel better when I get exercise, but some days it's just not possible to get in. I think doing what you're able to do, when you can do it is a good place to start. As the body gets lighter and stronger you'll naturally be able to do more. Keep up the good work.

Who do you have your insurance with? Were there circumstances that helped get it approved, like a rash or infection? Just curious.

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband and want you to know that you have warm thoughts and prayers coming to you from N. Carolina. Try to take care of yourself as best you can so you can be the rock your husband will need through all of this. We'll all be here for you as time goes on. Keep us posted. Hugs,

I discovered Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal several years ago when I kept 2 of my grandkids for a weekend. I love that stuff, and I'm not really a cereal eater. Since my surgery I only buy one or two of those single serving cups and divide them in half. It's about 1/2 cup or so, and I just munch them with a cup of coffee in the morning or afternoon as a snack. No real Protein but just enough to satisfy me. Twizzlers Once in awhile one or two don't bother me or the scale.

Ditto on the clingy knits that only emphasize our problem spots. Also, when will they realize that not every large woman is 6ft. tall and the same width from the shoulders all the way down to her knees? Large sized petites are nearly impossible to find, and if you do it's only in pants. I HATE tops that are always so long they look like a tunic instead of just a top.....especially when my butt is and always has been the widest part of my body, even when I wasn't heavy.

Here's a good one for everyone.... Today I saw someone I haven't seen for several months and all she could say at first after she finally figured out who I was was "Oh my God", Oh my God". then she got real close and whispered..."Did you have a facelift? You look 20 yrs younger than the last time I saw you". I told her that I hadn't and she backed up, looked at me and asked if I had gone in for a total body lift. I told her no, but that I may have one next year. She kept saying "Oh my God" until I thought I'd crack up laughing. Really????? I happy she and others think I look younger, because at my age looking younger is ALWAYS a plus, but a simple compliment would have been enough. Other people heard her, and instead of feeling good about her noticing the change I found myself feeling totally self conscious. Good thing she'll never have the chance to see me naked....

Hi. I'm Deb from N. Carolina. I started this whole process back in August after a visit to my regular doctor. After way too many years of yo-yo dieting and never getting the job done, it's all caught up to me. Now I'm heavier than I've ever been, my BP is on the rise and so is my cholesterol. My arthritis is terrible in my knees and ankles. I retired a couple years ago and I hate it because I can't do any of the things my husband and I talked about doing at this time in our lives. It's time to move forward..... My surgery is scheduled for Nov.11th. I'm excited and scared at the same time. I'm hoping that others that are getting ready to have their surgery in November might be interested in connecting to create a support group. Let's make this journey together and be there to support one another no matter where we live or what our ages may be. I've been looking at many of the other discussions and some are great, but I have a hard time keeping up with all of them in different places. I'm wondering if a group like this would make it easier to keep tract of whatever we want to talk about. What do you think???? I look forward to hearing from folks. Deb

I'm so LOL..... I think to a lot of people "some" weight is about 10 pounds. To others it's more than they can comprehend. They don't really know what to say without fear of offending us in some way. I try not to worry about it too much. I know how much I've lost, and that's all that really matters. Enjoy the compliments regardless of how silly they may sound. I say temper patience with mercy...

@@CanyonBaby You have summed it up so beautifully. Be proud of the woman you're becoming. I know I'm trying to be proud of the woman I'm becoming, and one day in the not too far off future I think the mirror just may turn out to be a friend......one who reminds us of our journey and nods its approval back to us when we look into it.

Thank you for your insight and wisdom. People like you help me understand do much about myself. I hear you loud and clear, and if it's ok with you I'm going to copy and print a sign with all your statements on it to hang in my bathroom.....right next to the mirror.

Boy am I glad to see this discussion. The only time in my life that I didn't see myself as being "fat" was when I was in my early 20's. I wasn't fat for sure at 117 pounds, but I still had some self confidence and self esteem issues. While married to my first husband everything I ever thought was "wrong" with me he fueled by making me feel inferior in some way. After pregnancies, miscarriages, a lot of emotional abuse and so forth I DID become fat. Really fat..... Right before my divorce I lost a lot of weight and got down to 145 pounds. The heaviest I had been until that point was 224, after the birth of my second son, but had gained and lost bits and pieces through the years. Needless to say I gained every ounce back plus more as the years went on bringing me to where I was when I started this journey. I hated the mirror, and avoided being in pictures at all cost. I didn't want to see the grotesque woman I had become. Even now I struggle with the changes others say they see because I don't feel I'm worthy of their compliments or praise. Even my current husband who has loved and supported me every day since we met gets upset because I can't see what he sees. The only picture I've willingly had taken was the one they took at my surgeons office 2 weeks before my surgery. I HAVE NOT taken any photos of myself because I just can't bring myself to do it. I do see a difference in my clothes and in the mirror, but in my eyes I still see that huge, unattractive woman. Don't get me wrong I do see some change, but until I can walk into a room and not feel self conscious about being the largest woman in the room I'll probably continue to judge myself. I'm halfway through my journey and look forward to the rest of it unfolding. I know I'm healthier and that means more to me than anything, but I also look forward to the day when I CAN look into the mirror, or see myself in a picture and not cringe at the woman I see.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! You should be so proud of yourself. You're an inspiration for all of us. Stay strong and committed to your lifestyle change so you can continue to enjoy your good health and your new body. You can do it for sure!!

@@Packerfan61964 Way to go champ!!! You'll make your goal before you know it. Some lucky woman will show up in your life and appreciate you for who you are. Your day is coming!!

I know I'm probably going to be preaching to the choir but here goes. I too am on my way to a much healthier life filled with compliments and praises from people who see the difference. They don't see the loose skin or the jiggle of the fat that still needs to be lost. Exercise helps with muscle tone and strength, but fat will only break down so fast, and not overnight. It's ok by me because I know that in the end I'll not only look better/different, but will be healthier than I've been in nearly 20 yrs. We're left with yet another physical issue to contend with....all the extra skin, and how it can also have a huge impact on how we view ourselves. Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled beyond belief to have had the opportunity to have my surgery, and that so many strides have been made in the area of obesity in general. Here's my issue..... Insurance companies have finally gotten to a point where they'll pay for the WLS but still lag behind in agreeing to cover the surgery needed to complete the process of our transformations. Right now plastics is only covered if it can be proven that there's a "medical" reason for having it such as infection or pain. I wonder about how many WLS patients have just as much emotional pain as they did before surgery because of the residual skin and the inability to get past how it may affect their lives. If the goal is to promote good health in general, where does mental and emotional health come into play? Surely the majority of patients that look into having plastics done aren't doing it because of vanity!!! I remember years ago when having varicose vein surgery was considered "cosmetic" and also not covered by insurance. Now just about every procedure involving spider and varicose veins is covered. Women all over that have a tiny blue vein around an ankle or behind a knee are running to surgeons to get them fixed, and insurance pays for it. Am I wrong to think that WLS if far more deserving of a plastic surgery procedure that is made necessary because of a medically necessary WLS???? Just wondering....

I found myself back in the dating scene about 16 years ago after a divorce. I really wasn't interested in dating all that much but I think I needed validation that I still could be found attractive and worthy of being cared about in spite of the extra weight I was carrying. I actually had lost about 40 pounds and wasn't nearly as heavy as I was when I had my surgery this fall. I went out with several guys and found out the hard way that in general men have little or no interest in being with someone that they consider to be too heavy. I had one guy that told me that even though he really cared about me and wanted more, he would end it if I got any heavier. Goodbye bozo Another guy came right out and told me that he "usually doesn't even consider dating women my size", but that if I was interested in dating him I'd do something about my weight. Goodbye bozo #2 I stopped dating all together for about 2 years and pretty much decided I was done with men, then I met my current husband. He was totally different. He made it very clear that no one should judge people for their outside, but rather look to the person inside. He needed to lose 20 or 30 pounds when we met, and together we did manage to lose some weight before we got married 9 years ago. I started having health issues about 4 years ago and got really heavy. When I talked to him about having the surgery he was totally supportive and wanted me healthy more than anything else. Now, my starting to look "good" is a bonus as far as he's concerned. Life's too short to date jerks. There's already too many women who try to change themselves for some guy. If you've had the surgery hopefully you've done it for yourself and your health. Looking great no matter what your age is the big bonus!!!! I'm 62 and still have some "sexy" left in me!!!

You and me both. I had RNY in Nov. 2014 and I'm 62. I'm down 75 pounds and feel better than I have in almost 20 years. I plan to rock all the fantastic clothes that I've been deprived of wearing for way too many years. Chico's here I come!!!

Hey there everyone. I hope everyone had a wonderful Spring Holiday no matter what your observance is. Spring has sprung here in Charlotte, NC and the pollen is about to kill all of us. The thick yellow gunk that covers everything is a sign that warm weather will be with us pretty much from now until next fall. The Easter holiday brought a couple challenges for me this year, as I had the family at my house for the day. I cooked and prepared for a crowd of almost 20, including 4 teenagers, a 4 yr. old and a 1 yr. old that has just started walking. Chaos was the word of the day, but it was fun to have everyone and actually have the energy to do everything I needed to do both before and after all the company. My challenge was cooking and not tasting everything I made over and over again to make sure it was right. In the past I'd cook and sample my way through the preparation until it was time for the meal. Of course then cleaning up was another story. I don't think I need to tell everyone that it meant eating almost as much as another meal before everything got put away or cleaned up. I did OK for the most part, but probably had a few more tiny tastes than I should have. I didn't get sick or dump or anything, but I felt so angry with myself for straying from my totally healthy eating plan. I have been telling myself today that I only had a few bites, and that from a calorie, carb or fat standpoint I was OK, but the self guilt is killing me. I guess I'm so afraid that when I physically CAN eat more that I'll sabotage myself. Has anyone else felt like they've fallen off track and then beat themselves up about it? Today I'm back in line, but of course the scale showed a 1.5 pound gain this morning, and I'm stressing out.

Hi everyone. Isn't it exciting to hear that those of us who had our surgery around the same time are finally starting to see results that make us feel good. Like seeing your knees, or bathroom stalls seeming bigger. LOL but I know exactly what you're talking about. My big ah ha moment was this past week when I friend of mine came to visit from out of town who I haven't seen in just over a year. She was astonished at how different I looked. It made my day. Also, one day we were out shopping and when I walked by a mirror in the regular clothing department I didn't say something awful to myself. I actually bought a top in a regular size XL instead of a 3X in the womens department. I saw my NUT last Friday, and realized that I've actually hit the -70 lb mark from my heaviest 2 weeks before my surgery. I was stunned. I'm halfway home..... and feeling really good!!! I'm not losing as fast as I thought I would, or as fast as some other people, but the scale is inching down in the right direction. Keep the updates coming. It's great to hear about how everyone else is doing now that we're at least 4 months out!!

@JamieLogical Way to go girl.... You look great. Keep up the good work. You'll be more than your hubby can handle (in a good way) when you finish your journey.

I've read all the posts in this thread and if I were you I'd only pay attention to about half of them. Don't worry about apologizing for what you said your meant. Some people that come off as being harsh really do mean well, and obviously none of us has all the answers. If we did, we wouldn't be asking for information or support on this site. Yes, stalls do exist and they can be called a number of different things. I think all the reasons people have given for the possible reasons for the slowing down of weight loss are valid. Our bodies definitely have a mind of their own, and I'm learning that as frustrating as it is, we'll only lose as quickly as our own body will let the fat go. At this point try to focus on the fact that if you're following the program you'll get to your goal eventually. My doctor is much like yours. He's a total jerk and talks down to everyone. He also says there's no such thing as a stall OR a plateau. He always question whether or not I'm doing what I should as far as Protein, fluids and exercise. I try not to let it bother me any more. There actually was an appointment right before my surgery where I almost left in tears. His nurses and my nutritionist assure me that I'm on track and not to worry so much about how many pounds I lose each week. They all look at the big picture and pay more attention to the fact that the scale IS moving in the right direction. Hang in there, as I'm sure you're doing just fine. Keep positive thoughts and don't sweat the small stuff.

Hi to everyone. I haven't posted in a number of days, so I just now read through many of the recent posts. I'm so glad this thread is here. It gives me some hope that no matter how frustrated I am there are others in the same boat. I swear I've been messing with the same few pounds for almost 2 weeks now. I was so excited to break into the 250's but it took me over a month to get past that and into the 240's. Now I can't shake past 247. I go up and down within the same 2 lbs everyday. It really wouldn't be such a big deal if the scale at least kept going down even if it was only by a few oz. each day. I've tried everything..... more protein, more fluids, a tiny bit more good fats, etc. I am ashamed to admit that I probably haven't been getting as much exercise as I should though. I've had a lot going on this past couple weeks and haven't been able to get to the gym or out for my long walk so that I'm doing SOMETHING every day. I know the exercise is important, but I'm doing the best I can, even when I do get in done. The thought that for the rest of this journey I'll struggle just because I'm not killing myself every day with lots of exercise is so scary. I keep wondering if that also means that once I reach my goal weight I'll battle to keep it off if I don't always be a slave to a workout. Does anyone else worry about it.?