Twirpo75

I posted a topic before about the struggles I have faced with my family on this journey. Brief history for those who didn't see it. My family all supported my decision to get sleeved. Until both my parents came to stay with me when I had the surgery. They were going to help with my 12 yr old son. My Mom spent a massive amount of time bringing unhealthy food into the house while claiming it was for my son. Who, by the way, is not heavy. Totally healthy BMI and an AMAZING Quarterback for his middle school. Anyhow my Mom and I butted heads several times and they finally just packed up and left 2 days after I got home from the hospital. It pretty much destroyed our relationship. So I've felt alone for awhile. But today I stopped to grab the mail on my way to work and she had sent a Halloween card to my son and I and in it were 6 Oreo ice cream sandwich vouchers. Am I crazy or has she lost her mind? I honestly feel like she is trying to sabotage this process. When she left she left so much crap food in my house. And now this. It feels like a slap to the face. But I don't know if I am just being emotional from all this.

I'd be interested in this as well!!

I've spent a lot of time thinking about all this. And bouncing it off some of my best friends who know my mom well enough. And I have a few ideas. I do think food is the way that my mom says "I love you" because she never says the words. And I see her pushing it at people that I know she loves. I've started to wonder if the reason she's become so hostile is because she feels like she won't be able to tell me she loves me in her way. That, for me, is so much easier to understand than her doing all this to me on purpose. And yes, she is morbidly obese too. So food is her best friend too. And has been for a very long time. I remember being like 9 and her buying chocolate covered cherries and telling us kids not to tell my dad. It was "Our secret". So it all goes back years. I've decided not to brush her off or end our relationship. The lucky side of it is that I live 6 hours from all of my immediate family. So it's not something I will have to deal with on a daily basis. I'm grateful for that right now. So I figure I am just going to put some time into me, my son, my fiance, and our future. I do afterall have a VERY tiny wedding to get ready for. By tiny I literally mean me, my son, my fiance, and a friend or two at the courthouse. TINY. But with the ways things are going I'm either going to have to get my dress taken in or a find a new one. That's my victory for today. And that's pretty damn amazing... =)

So I think she has always in a way spoiled the grandkids with food. Part of the talking her and I did while she was here was me explaining to her that I don't mind my son having treats once in awhile. He's still a kid. But I don't want him developing bad habits like I did. And I swear to you, he could choose fresh strawberries over Peanut Butter cups ANYDAY. But she tries very hard to almost force him to eat food he doesn't like. Junk food. And she knows he doesn't eat Oreo ice cream. So the vouchers really were pointless. And only good until Halloween. I'm going to give them to him tonight and offer to get him one. But I know he won't eat it. So maybe he can hand them out to friends at school who will eat them. I don't want my son to be 4th generation chunky butt. That terrifies me. And I've tried to do right by him. I do try to remember this is my journey. And I think it would be like me trying to understand what it's like for someone put on dialysis. Something life altering like that. When my niece was on Dialysis we all had to learn her new ways of doing things. But I never, never lost my compassion towards her. And I feel that my mom has lost hers. It's hard to explain but my mom is a very spoiled person who is used to getting what she wants. And if it interfers with someone elses life, she doesn't care. Her famous line is "It's fine. It's fine.". Which others have taken as disrespectful in the past. But she pays no attention to that either. She's very spoiled and very self absorbed. I think that's part of what bothers me the most. I feel like she COULD have some compassion. But that would take effort on her part. And it's easier to just buy people with treats. Maybe the fact that she feels she can't buy my love with treats anymore is what is making her so hostile. I honestly don't know. When we butted heads and she left it was because we had argued and when I tried to apologize and talk through it she just blew up and yelled "I can't take this! We're leaving!". It was weird. And horrible. It's all very confusing. And you're right about not being alone because I have my son. He is the greatest piece of my life. I have my fiance too, but we don't live together (and won't until we are married this winter) so he doesn't see the everyday craziness that this can all be. He sees enough and I tell him everything. But it's different to live it day to day. My son has been my biggest cheerleader in all this. That kid man... he's the best!! But he is only 12 and I try not to put too much on those shoulders. So I try to limit it there. It's just a lonely process for me so far.

I started this journey around March 2013. I was at 352. I had to lose weight for the surgery and got down to 311 the day of surgery. I was sleeved on 10/06 and today weigh 296. It is an amazing feeling. =)

It's good to know you're feeling better today. Hopefully the coming days bring you lots of rest! Don't over do anything! Congrats on making it to Post-oper!

Last night I went to visit my Fiance and in a room with maybe 20 other people he couldn't find. He said I was looking so different. That was an amazing feeling. =)

Thank you for sharing this!!

Having soup, not saving it... lol

I was sleeved 10/6 and I live in Medical Lake, WA. I work in Spokane, WA. I'm down 13 pounds so far and overall feel pretty good. I haven't thrown up one time. Thank God since that was my biggest fear going into this. I've been saving soups as well. I just strain everything out after I warm it up. Only about 1/4 cup at a time. Which seems to be plenty. I'm pretty happy so far but I too look forward to more options in the future. =)

Lisa, Thank you for responding. My surgery was 10/6 so I am fresh out. It was a very emotional time for me and I tried explaining to them that I was up and down all the time. But this on top of it just threw me for a loop. My mom has never been the lovey type. Hugs and "I love you" were typically saved for birthdays and christmas. But she was always willing to cook for us. Or buy us soda. So I think you are right about food being her way of showing her love. I hadn't thought of it that way. I don't want tension between us but I don't know how to help her understand that this is my new life. And they can do whatever they want. If I had been staying with them I would NEVER tell her not to bring certain foods into her house. I wish they would choose to be healthy, but I can't force them. And I've never tried to push it on them. Hopefully we all find a middle ground. Right now it's all just awkward. Crystal

Before my surgery I spoke to the Nutritionist and went over the different stages of the diet. When we talked about puree food, she said I could eat anything I could stand in puree form. So I said 'So if I puree spagetti, I can have it?" Totally expecting her to say no. But she said yes. So I can't wait for that. I've made up my mind to stay away from a lot of the foods that got me into this mess though. So I would say be careful, but don't feel like you have to live in a box with only a few options. =)

Packerfan61964, Thanks!! I agree with you totally on the shoe thing. My shoe came untied in Walmart last week and I was like DAMMIT because what is usually a personal struggle becomes a public one. And you know how people love to take humiliating pictures in Walmart. It's like blowing a tire on a freeway. I often wonder then things like that happen to skinny people, do they even think about it? Because my shoe coming untied is something worthy of immediate stress. But I think skinny people just go "Hey look, my shoes untied." And fix it. No worries. Damn skinny people. =) I can't wait to weight 200 lbs and have my shoe come undone. I'll get excited and say 'WATCH THIS!" and just bend down and fix it. WITHOUT holding my breathe!! WOOT US!!

I'm not much good for a success story since I am only a week and a half post-op. I am 5'11" (I shrunk from 6') and currently weigh 299. At my highest in February I was 352. I have no earthly idea how I got that big. I think a lot of it was denial. When I went in for surgery I was 312 I think. I'm so happy with everything so far. It's a struggle, but worth it. Hopefully in a few months I can have better results to post. =)

I took a week off work totally certain that I wouldn't be able to do it. And I'm not Super Woman like some of these gals! I took pain meds. I had a lot of pain afterward and I am a total WUSS! But my surgery was one week ago today and I am back at work today. I stopped taking the pain meds on Friday. That way I had a weekend to come out of drugged stupor. I have a desk job though and don't do a lot of walking while at work. I do have a suggestion. I found over the weekend that if I wore a spanx tanktop, it helped. It holds my stomach in and doesn't let all the walking I have to do to get in and out of the hospital I work at hurt my "bullet holes". Now, I know you're a dude. And probably a really manly dude. So you hear Spanx and think, NEXT! So I would suggest maybe just finding a tight tshirt to wear under your regular shirt. Just something for support. It really does help with walking. Food for thought since we can't eat it!

I'm one week out today. I've noticed that I tend to get hungry when I'm watching TV or on Facebook. TV has constant food commercials and everyone is posting food pictures on facebook. I'd like to smack whoever started that nonsense. So I try to just avoid it as much as I can. But it's Merica and food is everywhere. I just drink water as much as I can. I've even said "No one better touch my steak and potato water!!" And my family knows that's how I am coping. It is very frustrating. At times I feel miserable. Like I am never going to get to eat REAL food again. I'm so sick of liquids! But we are getting there!

Hello! I'm a week out from the gastric sleeve surgery. I waited to get my Vitamins until after surgery. I should have started before, but they are expensive. I had to do a two week liquid diet before my surgery. It helped prepare me for life now. I learned that I do not like vanilla Protein powder. I do not. Nope. I do like the chocolate Muscle Milk. It's pretty good. One day I was thirsty and in the store and I found Darigold makes a drink called REFUEL. It's 20g of protein and only 160 calories. And it's 16 oz. Which right now doesn't seem like much, but after surgery it is way too much. I can only drink about 4 oz at a time right now. I would suggest getting something like Mio for your Water. It's easier then dealing with a bunch of preflavored waters. And if you do go out you can add it to the water they give you. So try some of those. My nutritionist suggested trying bariatricadvantage.com for vitamins too. There is something I'm going to be very honest with you guys about. I've not seen too many people talk about it. Regret. After my surgery I was in a lot of pain. And there are no instant results. So I immediately regretted it. At times I still struggle with it even after a week and another 12 pounds gone. I wish I had eaten more of the food I love before doing this. I feel like my best friend is gone. Because when the world chewed me up and spit me out, food was always there. My party size Smartfood White Cheddar popcorn was always there. And I miss my best friend. It's worth it to lose it. But don't be surprised if you wake up thinking WTF DID I JUST DO?! According to my nurse, it's normal. I didn't know that. So when I was feeling it I felt like something was wrong with me. Like I really did just screw up. Just know it's normal and it does pass. =)

I'm only a week out of surgery so I am going to be totally honest. Yes. In some ways I do regret it. There is that piece of me that feels like my best friend is just GONE. I can't turn to food anymore. I know that with every day that goes by I will be more at peace with it. Which is why people years out can say that they don't regret it. But Carl's Jr came out with the Mile High Burger right before my surgery and I feel like I was cheated because I never got to have one. That's the part of me that regrets it. But I'm down 53 lbs from my starting weight. And in that aspect I feel great. The surgery was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It was actually pretty easy. I think you have to just know in your head and in your heart that you are going to lose your best friend. And if you are like me, you will have family members push you away. It turns out that other super morbidly obese people don't like to watch you get healthier. Because it means you can no longer support or enable thier habits. If you can get it together within yourself to do it, do it. But before you start your liquid diet, go have a Mile High Burger and tell me if they are any good! Eat the food you love most and say goodbye to it. Some of it you'll eat again in small portions. Some you'll never eat again. I'll never be able to eat a Whopper in 4 bites again. I'll never be the life of the birthday party and shove an entire cupcake in my mouth again. But hopefully in time I will not also be the biggest girl in the room. That's the thought that gets me through. I'm a girl and at 5'11" and 352 I was bigger than a lot of NFL players. But today I got on the scale and for the first time in probably 5 years I am under 300lbs. When you have that feeling, it makes the regret go away for awhile. You will regret it. It's normal. But you won't regret it forever. It is worth it. Cryssie