ReneBean

Today is Tuesday. By Thursday, we are supposed to hear the news.... No one is working - there is no work to do. We are pretty much hanging out and listening to the radio, reading, playing games, or studying (me). Everyone is depressed.... Except for one co-worker had a job interview yesterday. He came in all suited up in a tie. No one was surprised, and I hope he gets the job. It sucks to KNOW that you are going to be unemployed and not be able to do anything about it. I guess I should surf for jobs - just to see if there are any worth pursuing - but I am not holding out much hope. I applied for the crash-course teacher training yesterday. I KNOW that if I were willing to go with Special Ed, I could get in, for sure. But, English & Language Arts are more "me". I just don't know if I have quite enough love for Special Ed. It takes a bloody saint to do that - and I am NO saint. My Spanish classes start on May 7th. This is a good thing. Being truly fluent in Spanish again will make me that much more marketable, no matter what I teach. If I get fluent enough, I can do Bilingual Ed - which would make me employable until I die. I will have plenty of time to study... at least until I get another job. It appears severance will pay my salary thru June - which means that I have at least that long to look. All I can say is THANK GOD I have that long... it may very well take every minute of that time to find something suitable. That assumes that I don't get accepted to the crash-course. If I do get accepted, I will have to decide what to do.... I am very glad that I got my band when I did. It will be that much easier to find a job since I lost some weight. It seemed like every pound off has made people react that much better to me. It's amazing. Now that I have cheekbones and only one chin, people can see me again. For a while, I was the elephant in the corner.... nobody wanted to notice or talk to me. Now, apparently, I am down to mere hippo size and much less threatening... :heh: Anyway - only two more days of sitting here killing time. I made DH swear we would go to the gym tonight. We both need to get into the habit and right now, I need his help to force myself to do anything....Thank God for my husband. I would surely have completely fallen apart by now if it weren't for his constant love and appreciation. Even at my fattest, he still told me I was "hot" and sexy. And even when things seem the most chaotic, he is my anchor. Marrying him was the smartest thing I have ever done, I think. The band was the 2nd smartest... Cause even through all this, I am not gaining pound after pound. The last time I was unemployed, I gained 30 pounds in five months. I am so glad that won't be happening this time. I may not be losing anything - but at least I am not ballooning upward. So, that's where my head is today. I just got a line on a mortgage company desperate for people with A-Paper experience - so maybe I will do what I have usually done in the past and get another job right away. A couple of months of double salary would be pretty nice... Fingers crossed.....

Today is Tuesday. By Thursday, we are supposed to hear the news.... No one is working - there is no work to do. We are pretty much hanging out and listening to the radio, reading, playing games, or studying (me). Everyone is depressed.... Except for one co-worker had a job interview yesterday. He came in all suited up in a tie. No one was surprised, and I hope he gets the job. It sucks to KNOW that you are going to be unemployed and not be able to do anything about it. I guess I should surf for jobs - just to see if there are any worth pursuing - but I am not holding out much hope. I applied for the crash-course teacher training yesterday. I KNOW that if I were willing to go with Special Ed, I could get in, for sure. But, English & Language Arts are more "me". I just don't know if I have quite enough love for Special Ed. It takes a bloody saint to do that - and I am NO saint. My Spanish classes start on May 7th. This is a good thing. Being truly fluent in Spanish again will make me that much more marketable, no matter what I teach. If I get fluent enough, I can do Bilingual Ed - which would make me employable until I die. I will have plenty of time to study... at least until I get another job. It appears severance will pay my salary thru June - which means that I have at least that long to look. All I can say is THANK GOD I have that long... it may very well take every minute of that time to find something suitable. That assumes that I don't get accepted to the crash-course. If I do get accepted, I will have to decide what to do.... I am very glad that I got my band when I did. It will be that much easier to find a job since I lost some weight. It seemed like every pound off has made people react that much better to me. It's amazing. Now that I have cheekbones and only one chin, people can see me again. For a while, I was the elephant in the corner.... nobody wanted to notice or talk to me. Now, apparently, I am down to mere hippo size and much less threatening... :heh: Anyway - only two more days of sitting here killing time. I made DH swear we would go to the gym tonight. We both need to get into the habit and right now, I need his help to force myself to do anything....Thank God for my husband. I would surely have completely fallen apart by now if it weren't for his constant love and appreciation. Even at my fattest, he still told me I was "hot" and sexy. And even when things seem the most chaotic, he is my anchor. Marrying him was the smartest thing I have ever done, I think. The band was the 2nd smartest... Cause even through all this, I am not gaining pound after pound. The last time I was unemployed, I gained 30 pounds in five months. I am so glad that won't be happening this time. I may not be losing anything - but at least I am not ballooning upward. So, that's where my head is today. I just got a line on a mortgage company desperate for people with A-Paper experience - so maybe I will do what I have usually done in the past and get another job right away. A couple of months of double salary would be pretty nice... Fingers crossed.....

Some things just boggle the mind... What on earth could prompt anyone to just start shooting people for no reason? I mean, I can sort of understand a crime of passion - get mad, do something crazy to a person... But to start forcing your way into classrooms and killing random people? It makes you really appreciate the sanity of your own life...but it also makes you realize that there is no such thing as "safe." Cindy - I appreciate your writing that letter for me. I am waiting with bated breath. Are you having fun cleaning? :] Dianne - you look FANTASTIC! Wow-Za! Thanks for posting those great pictures! I hope you lose that pain, soon. Hugs! Darcy - Mouse rescue, huh? Guess you aren't one of those chicks that jumps on a chair at the sight of a rodent, then? :] Patty - I have been less than happy in my mortgage job for quite a while now. This latest crash in Sub Prime Mtg is just the final nudge I need to move on to something a little more meaningful than generating lots of money for some big corporation. Kat - have fun with that new baby. We are still waiting for pictures... :] Well, I am off to study some more fractions. It makes me ANGRY that I can't do the math - so I guess I better keep studying and fix that little problem. There is nothing more frustrating that knowing that you SHOULD be able to do something - that once you COULD do it... but now you can't. GRRRRR. Have a great day, folks. xo

What I SHOULD be able to do, and what I CAN or WILL do are two different things. I have given up on what I SHOULD be able to do... Trust me, it is still plenty of work to lose weight, even with the band to assist. If loving my band is wrong, I don't want to be right. :]

I never set off the buzzers at LaGuardia or DFW... you should be fine. Have a great time!

Krystal, I can SOOOO feel your pain. Thanks for the brutally honest post and the reminder that exercise really makes the difference. If you can do it, so can I. No excuses. Walk through the burn.... Hugs!!

Hi All I am definitely NOT as smart as a Fifth Grader.... *sigh* I spent the day studying on Math.com.... and I feel like a complete idiot. I don't remember fractions being to stinking difficult.... But I guess my brain just doesn't compute them anymore. I submitted the application for the crash-course teacher training - school all summer with teaching in the fall. It will place me in a "high needs" school, if I get accepted and pass all the certification tests. I still have hopes that I will find the perfect job and be able to take the slower certification course. I would LIKE to have a little time to absorb the teaching before I have to stand in front of students and teach... but if I get accepted to the crash program, I will probably do it. Hopefully, my Summer Spanish classes won't conflict with the courses... Mandy - It sounds like you have a lot of yard work to do... I am just glad cats don't need cat-runs. :] Funny funnies! Cindy - How was the food Network award show? I managed not to watch any TV at all yesterday. It just turned out like that. Eileenie - HUGS! Sorry about the storm. Hope to hear from you soon. Betty - glad your party went off all right! Hope you get some rest, soon. Sorry your car guy is already a flake... and he isn't even there, yet. *sigh*. Hope he turns out to be better than he sounds... Darcy - LOL! That's why I had to chop it into smaller pieces and put most of it into the freezer... DH says I have a lifetime supply of cheese! (ok - it is a lot. I bought 6 of the 2 lb bricks...) Sherry - glad the trip was good. Driving in bad weather is always a bummer. Glad you made it home safe. Deb - I hope the floods go down, soon. I would NOT like to be trapped indoors. Hope the kids weren't too crazed. Patty - where there's a will, there's a way... Now, watch. Insurance will come through. (I hope!) But even if it doesn't - go for it! Pawn that skanky ring and get-r-done! :] Well - I have to run. Another glorious day in mortgage lending has passed, and I need to get home. DH is making spaghetti for supper and I have some data to transfer to my laptop. I got pictures from my little sister with the brain tumor. It's all out. She is all normal and doing well and she sent me 53 photos..... Love and Hugs to All!

Ahhhhh. A beautiful Sunday... I slept until 11 and now I am sprawled on my chair in my sunroom with a cup of coffee, petting a cat and surfing the net. This is what Sundays are supposed to be, as far as I am concerned. The sun is shining, the sky is blue and it's a fabulous 80 degrees in my backyard. I am thinking a little yard maintenance is in order for this afternoon. Patty - you are so funny. Hate Californians? Heck, don't you know I was born in Carmel? I would have been THRILLED to move back there when I left Oregon, except I couldn't possible afford to live there. Sorry about the IRS - but I am very glad to hear that your LOVELY DexH got a job and will be able to provide some financial assistance for you & the boys. How did it go at the Dentist? Eileenie - I refuse to think about work on such a glorious day. I will let you know as soon as I hear anything. :] Congrats on your promotion. I guess that Bossman was afraid I really WOULD come up there! :] And you celebrate by CLEANING?!?! That's just wrong.... :] 17 yrs for you and DH, huh? Did you ever think it would last when you first got married? I wasn't sure - but, hey, I decided after about 10 yrs that my DH was a keeper. Darcy - Congrats on the Cabin - and hey, if you got the sleigh, you can search out your own kewl antiques to fill the rest of the space. :] And shopping for antiques is really fun! Oh - and I guess you learned an important financial lesson... or I hope you did. Sheesh! I hope you haven't been too royally screwed by the whole thing. Jenny - Another Disney Chick will fit right in around here. You will be happy to know that the local LKS gets all my stuff. The come around once every couple of months. Some fat lady in town is getting a bunch of really cool clothes, these days. I was able to get BC/BS to pay - so hopefully you will, too. I want you to know that these ladies were instrumental in keeping me sane while I went thru the approval process. Welcome! Deb - Hi! Meeting husbands is an individual thing. Love can be found anywhere - even at the hotdog stand at the University of Oregon. :] Hugs to you and crabby! Mr. Pat - glad to hear you are feeling good. That is really what the band is all about, IMHO. Looking good would be nice - but I FEEL so much better, that I don't care if I never look "normal". And YOU ROCK - 25 pounds, already!! Wow! Go, Pat, Go!!! Cindy - I hope you are out enjoying this fabulous day! I had to go outside and take a little sun-break before I could finish my post. Ahhhhhhh. So nice. Kat - a new baby! I love horses. Of course, I haven't ridden since I was a teenager - and I would consider it cruelty to animals to ride, now - but I still love horses. So, are you at home? Or are you already in Texas? Let me know when you get to your ranch... I may have a great deal of free time coming up... :phanvan Well, I am going to go divvy up some blocks of cheese... I got 2 pound bricks of cheddar for $5.00 and now I have to break them down into managable sized pieces and throw them into the freezer. I love cheese - so having a 2 pound brick defrosted just means I am going to suck down the whole thing... probably in about 3 days... :] Love you guys!

Howdy. Another Glorious Day in Mortgage Lending... Sherry - Guilt, Shmilt.... Mommies need fun-time, too. ESPECIALLY fun time without children. Have a great time and take lots of pictures! So, I suppose the IRS wants their pound of flesh... Sorry! Mandy - Ooooooo - you get to meet Sherry & Chris! I am jealous... Chris - 5 nights + meals + airfare + park passes? I think I am going to have YOU book my next vacation.... DANG! Cindy - I am so happy Haven has found a sport she is good at. I know if she has a good time and gets a good feeling of accomplishment, she will keep on playing - and we know how important physical activity is! Well - I have printed out my flashcards.... time to cut them and start flashin'... Love you guys!

Keep practicing on the chewing. The jaw muscles need to be worked out, just like any other. It will hurt less over time. Good Luck!!!

Stress has one effect on me - it makes me not give one little damn about losing weight, or exercise, or anything. I went on-line today, looking for a job. It was pretty depressing. Anything that I have a snow-ball's chance of qualifying for pays literally half of my mortgage salary. Any mortgage jobs have already been filled by people from the companies that have closed - so I am currently a surplus individual, in more than just my pants size. I have to make a choice, now. Do I starve all summer and take the crash-course for Teacher Certification and work in a High Need school (If I get accepted to the program!) or do I take the sane, longer way and have some say in the choice of schools? The problem is that the sane longer way means I have to take one of those half-pay full-time jobs and just go broke more slowly. But, at least I would have health insurance that way. I am torn. Looking at the jobs availabe out there, I am thinking the sooner I can be certified to get at least a Teacher's salary, the better - but going until September with no health insurance is scary and dangerous. No telling if DH can get a job in TX at all - much less whether he can get one after being off work for 5 yrs... They will think he has been in jail or something! Plus, he will get all pissy if he has to go back to work... But, if he could work for 6 mos while I did the crash-course, he could retire again quicker... DANG I don't know what to do. So, clearly, my eating and exercise habits are not my main concern at the moment - which makes for less than stellar decisions on my part. Thankfully, the scale is holding at 287 or so - except that it is tweaking and I don't know if the number on it can be trusted at all. Grrr. I have to get back to the gym, at least. It appears that after next week, I won't have "lack of time" as an excuse... *sigh*.

Stress has one effect on me - it makes me not give one little damn about losing weight, or exercise, or anything. I went on-line today, looking for a job. It was pretty depressing. Anything that I have a snow-ball's chance of qualifying for pays literally half of my mortgage salary. Any mortgage jobs have already been filled by people from the companies that have closed - so I am currently a surplus individual, in more than just my pants size. I have to make a choice, now. Do I starve all summer and take the crash-course for Teacher Certification and work in a High Need school (If I get accepted to the program!) or do I take the sane, longer way and have some say in the choice of schools? The problem is that the sane longer way means I have to take one of those half-pay full-time jobs and just go broke more slowly. But, at least I would have health insurance that way. I am torn. Looking at the jobs availabe out there, I am thinking the sooner I can be certified to get at least a Teacher's salary, the better - but going until September with no health insurance is scary and dangerous. No telling if DH can get a job in TX at all - much less whether he can get one after being off work for 5 yrs... They will think he has been in jail or something! Plus, he will get all pissy if he has to go back to work... But, if he could work for 6 mos while I did the crash-course, he could retire again quicker... DANG I don't know what to do. So, clearly, my eating and exercise habits are not my main concern at the moment - which makes for less than stellar decisions on my part. Thankfully, the scale is holding at 287 or so - except that it is tweaking and I don't know if the number on it can be trusted at all. Grrr. I have to get back to the gym, at least. It appears that after next week, I won't have "lack of time" as an excuse... *sigh*.

I drink fresh-ground whole bean coffee with artificial sweetener - but I DO use half and half. There is only so much I am willing to give up. Good coffee isn't one of those things. :]

My doc says no solid food 4 hours prior and no liquids for 1 hour prior to a fill. No breakfast - no coffee after 8:30am, either. Sorry!

LOL! I figure when I get down to a size 14, I will have a tee shirt made that just says: Former Fat Chick Now, I am thinking I need one that says: Curvy Girl

Yay!! Did you ride the big dipper? I have fond memories from childhood.... Congrats on a great NSV! Keep up the good work. :]

no worries, Lance. Truly, the complications are mild, for the most part. The yo-yo stops here. Even when I am not eating properly, I maintain... so - you should heave a big sigh of relief that the Band is the choice your fiance has made. Once the healing process is complete (week 4 or so) your girl will be able to eat about anything you do - just not in the same quantities. SOME people have trouble with fluffy bread or rice, or Pasta - but it is very individual. Each person has to just try a little of everything to see if it works. Until she starts getting fills - there won't be much indication that anything has been done at all - unless your gal is a lucky person who gets restriction right off the table. MOST people have a pretty hard time at weeks 4-6 because they are HUNGRY - just like before the surgery. Then, after the fills start, the portion size will go down, the hunger will go down and the weight loss will really get going. Your best course of action is just to love her and let her be. Don't poke, don't question food choices, don't look at her funny if she grabs a cookie. Support is wonderful - but nagging isn't. Also - with weightloss, your darling may experience some emotional roller-coaster. Hormones are stored in fat cells along with the other trash... and when you burn the fat, you let those babies out of the cage. Be prepared for anything and try to be as forgiving as you can. Kudos for checking this stuff out. A prepared fiance is a happier fiance. :]

My doc said two cups a day was fine - but not more.

Just another thought... MO people get passed over for promotions, or just don't get jobs at all due to personal bias from interviewers and corporate bias because of insurance costs. Being poor now, and getting healthy, means you will have an easier time getting a better job later. :]

Hugs, Laurend! Good Luck getting your presentation done tonight!

Hi Martha! Welcome to LBT. Yeah, who ever would have thought that you would be HAPPY to have high blood pressure? :] Family history of heart disease and other horrible things can also assist in qualifying for insurance coverage. Good Luck!

Howdy, All! Same old nothing going on around here. Mandy - HUGS! Sorry about the scary tumor. Hopefully you will be able to get it taken care of with a minimum of fuss. Glad to hear Abi is stable. Stable is good... Kat - yeah, Halal is the only meat that Muslims are supposed to eat. It is butchered a particular way and blessed by holy men. BIL/SIL are Muslim. DH and I use it mostly because it is always the same low price, it's really fresh and it has better flavor. It's also handy to have some acceptable food products on hand for company. :] Cindy - Thanks so much for writing me the letter... Hugs! Jenny - HI!!! Welcome to our little corner of LBT. I am one of the furriners... I live in Dallas. :] So, tell us all about you.... Husband? Kids? Work? Enquiring minds want to know. Welcome, again! Sherry - I am jealous of your Disney Chicks! Hope y'all have a great time! Oh, and don't let's get started on those crazy BIL's! I have THREE. Sheesh! Well - Where the heck is everybody? Am I going to have to round up some more flying monkeys? Check in, people. We miss you! xo

*tongue firmly in cheek* It must be AWFULL to have to CHOOSE between all these marvelous opportunities... I mean, do you have the life saving surgery NOW, and lose the fantastic educational opportunity? Or do you take the fantastic educational opportunity NOW and hold off on the life saving surgery until later? Buck Up Laurend - Either way you win. Either you will have the band now, and start on the road to better health, or you will have the summer internship of your dreams now and be that much closer to getting your PHD. I can't see a downside to either decision. Sorry about the stressful week. I hope it all looks more positive on the weekend. Hugs!

Well, the bright side is that you are losing weight. I guess you just won't be able to hear it when all those gals in Florida start whistling at you! Hugs and good luck with the hearing problem!

New Whey user, here. ORANGE is the flavor. It is far superior to fruit punch - even though in normal products, fruit punch would be my preference. There is a grape flavor, too - but I haven't tried it. (I will let you know when I do) As for drinking the liquid in a tube Protein, mix it with something - Water, tea, juice, whatever. It is a little bit thick in the straight form, and very sweet. I always mix with propel & filtered water. 1 tube goes into a liter of water/propel mixed. **plus - since the body can only absorb so much protein at any one time, drinking it throughout the day at work lets me get the benefit of all 42 grams - my body can absorb it slowly over the course of several hours. Good Luck