bellabloom

Beef Jerky was a huge help for me in getting enough protein. If you chew really well it seems to go down easy. Because we can't drink around meals I also struggle with fluids. I find putting water next to my bed at night helps me drink more through the night when I'm not eating. I don't like to hear that you're throwing up after your meals. Have you discussed this with your doctor? You could be eating too much, too fast, or have a stricture. Please take vitamins. If you can't handle the pills or bariatric ones, do adult gummies. I know it's not the best but it's better than nothing!!!

Loving having my picture taken. That's a huge one for me now!

I'm Bella and I'm a 35 year old single mother of two. My kids are 3 and 6. I'm 5'6 and weigh 118 right now. My start weight before surgery was 245. For a living I'm a photographer although I am transitioning into teaching high school. It's been a wish of mine to be a teacher as long as I can remember. I live in California near the beach! I'm lucky. I've always struggled with my weight. My mom put me on diets starting age 11, because although I was a normal weight she was worried I was eating too much and would gain. This and an unstable childhood environment set me up for emotional eating and insecurity. I had very disordered eating all through college. Binge eating followed by crash dieting. For about 6 months I even became bulimic. I was a normal weight, about 150-160 pounds but it was always so hard to stay there. When I got pregnant the first time I gained 100 pounds because I binge ate. I was very unhappy in my marriage and it was the first time is 15 years I wasn't on a diet. After that I got some eating disorder therapy and learned to maintain my weight but I was very unhappy with it. I gained another 40 over the next 5 years and had another baby, which really took a toll on my body. I decided to have bariatric surgery because I had really bad back pain and lost all hope in dieting. I was still an occasional binge eater and hoped it would stop that behavior. I was also newly divorced and wanted a new start. I had gastric bypass dec 4 2014. The surgery went well at first but then I had some complications. I ended up having it reversed and changed to a gastric sleeve. After my sleeve I developed a severe stricture and could only eat Water broth and cheese for 6 months without throwing up. I threw up everything, even smoothies and Soup. I finally got in with a new surgeon (my first one was horrible) and he dialiated my structure and made things a lot better. I still have a small stricture and have to be very careful when I eat. It can be pretty painful for me to eat and I have to go super slow and chew and chew. For awhile I was so traumatized I would throw up if even the slightest thing got stuck but I'm working last that now. Because of al this I've lost weight extremely fast and surpassed my goal weight. I'm struggling with upping my calories because I am very afraid of gaining weight back after everything I've been through. I'm actually seeking eating disorder therapy now because my experiences have triggered a lot of difficult emotions in me and it's been really hard to stop losing weight. I'm finding maintenance to be the hardest part of this. Inspite of all of this I would do my surgery again in a heart beat. I love my thin body and I feel so much better physically than I did when I was overweight. I love the control I have over what I eat and that I can't binge anymore. I do have my issues to face still and I need to find balance but I know I'm close to where I want to be, and I could never have been happy or healthy at my prior weight. My confidence and joy is high now and my self love is getting better everyday. I'm in a place where I can grow in a positive direction and build upon, and that's a wonderful feeling. That's my story!! And here I am Before: Now:

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I researched the patch Vitamins and apparently they don't work very well. I have some pretty serious deficiencies going on now so I can't afford to screw around. I have a very hard time swallowing pills and taking vitamins by mouth, they make me very nauseated and I already have a hard time eating enough so I don't need that. The best I can do is gummy vitamins. I found one with most of what I need and am concentrating on nutrient dense food in my diet like kale, spinach, broccoli, etc to get as much as I can that way. Vitamins are an absolute must!!

I really sympathize with your post and I'm wondering how are you doing? I wish more people on here would discuss this topic. I've really struggled and am still struggling with entering maintianence. My BMI is about 18.5 and I'm still losing although slowly. I'm as thin as I want to get. The problem in having is the fear of gaining weight back. After such a hard journey to lose weight it's so hard to up my intake and stop. I've even questioned whether I've developed an eating disorder or whether this is just some post traumatic stress over what I've been through over weight. After having weight loss as a goal for so long, and finally achieving it, there is such a good feeling in seeing the scale finally going down- it's hard to give that up. It's hard to say, I'm done. Because it was something we wanted for so long and couldn't get. I hope your doing okay and please message me if you ever want to talk.

Update. I am going bald. Hair is literally breaking off. Take your vitamins I got the patches and they are awesome

When do we put the past to rest? I feel like I'm living in this state of "I'm going to wake up and this will have been a dream". I'm afraid to let my fat self go. I want to fully move on into the present and future as my new self. A part of me is afraid I can't do this. Like I have to hold on to her because she's either going to come back, and I shouldn't get too comfortable, or she's my legacy and I need to wear her like a chain around my neck, or she's a me that's died and part of me misses her. Do I just miss the life I lived while I was her? So much happened in that life. She was real. Now I sound like I have split personalities. Is there a point that one can just let it go? I'm tired of talking about it, thinking about it. I feel like I'm living in the past. I think that may be one of the reasons I'm struggling with entering maintianence because I can't let my old self go. Does enough time eventually go by that we just move on? Do we get comfortable? Does the fear or regaining ever go away? I don't want to live in a shadow of what I used to do and look like forever.

I have been on several dates lately and it's amazing me how often the subject of my weight is coming up. These men seemed intrigued and extremely attracted to and mesmerized by my thinness. They talk about my weight and how little I eat as such a plus and make sure they let me know how they don't like overweight women and they talk about their own weight a lot to the negative even if they are thin. Is there a breed of men especially attracted to underweight women? Because I seem to be attracting them in droves and it's a very weird feeling to me. I feel like for one I could never let these guys know I used to be overweight. They are so fixated on my shape and I feel totally uncomfortable thinking of what their reaction might be to know my history. I'm sitting their wondering how far their desire for perfection goes. I find the attitude pretty repulsive and walk away knowing I could not date these guys. In fact it's gotten so bad I'm finding myself seeking out and wanting to date an overweight man because I find his attitude about his body more attractive and it comforting to be with someone that is overweight. It's more familiar to me and I feel like they would be less likely to judge my history. The attention I'm getting from men seems so biased towards my looks. It's making me feel really weird. I'd hate to have to burst their bubble with the truth and I also hate the idea of only being seen for my physical self. I'm not saying it's all the guys I've gone out with, but I am definitely running into it. Like these guys are groupies for modelesque type women and I'm suddenly in that status. It bothers me to hear them put down overweight women. I happen to find overweight men and women attractive and I make sure and tell them that. I went to dinner with a guy tonight and both him and the waiter teased me about how little I ate and he even told me how his daughter is overweight and her thighs are big and how him and his ex wife tried to intervene and help her by sending her into counseling. Poor girl. I want to be skinny but I don't want to be in this kind of club.

We are made to feel guilty about putting the blame on other people, but sometimes the fault does lay in others. Wether intentional or not, your mother impacted your relationship with food to the negative. I LOVE my mother. She is my best friend. But as a child she put me on diets and she has criticized my weight one way or another my entire life. She is very concerned with her own weight and looks and that kind of attitude can be very influential to children. We need our parents to give us support and unconditional love and sometimes in trying to help us they actually hurt us. I think the proper thing to do is to explore the issue, accept that what happened happened, forgive, and move forward. You can't do anything about the past but you can choose to overcome these scars and build a healthy relationship with yourself from here on out. Overweight people tend to be very hard and self critical, feel guilty about their weaknesses and need perfection. It's time to forgive her, forgive yourself, and move into a new chapter.

It seems like a lot of people regain their weight after the band. I wouldn't blame yourself so much. It's not your fault the success rate of that type of surgery is poor. I wish you all the best and you should be proud of yourself for keeping in the right direction.

I ordered the patch vitamins! Thanks!!! Yup. Doctor never mentioned it.

Here are my stats from my journey. From highest weight of 250 to lowest weight of 119. It's amazing I've really lost half a person.

I've had a stricture most of the time I've had the sleeve which caused me to throw up almost any solid food I ate. I've only been able to eat solids for about a month, so I'm just getting to know my sleeve. I'm having trouble knowing when I've eaten enough to get full but not get sick. When I eat too much I get brutal nausea and I want to avoid this at all costs, but I also don't want to walk away from a good meal only to be hungry in 30 minutes. Are there any tips for recognizing fullness you could give me? Should I carry around a measuring cup? Getting full with the sleeve doesn't feel the same as getting full pre-sleeve.

I thought everyone might be interested in seeing these. I've kept track of my progress throughout my weight loss, with weight and measurements. I'm pretty much at goal now and you can see the difference from start to finish. I literally have lost half my size. I started at 250 highest weight, I would like to stay between 115 and 120 now. I'm 5'6 and 35 years old.

I'm finding it very difficult to accept life at goal. I feel like I could still lose a little bit more before I stop. I've been getting a lot of comments on how thin I am, and I know there are parts of my body that are. But there are parts of my body that are not as well. I've been getting a lot of comments about how I'm so thin. I was told twice today that I'm so thin I may blow away. I don't think I look "skinny". I think I look normal. Anyway. What do you guys think? Without knowing the number- based on how I look. Am I at goal? Over it? Under it? Should I lose 5 more pounds? Be honest.

I've been seeing someone seriously for about four months. A month ago he lost his job and he's taken it really hard. I don't think our relationship is going to survive it. I'm so sad about it. He was the first person I've been with since my surgery. I told him about it and he accepted it really well. I feel like I can be real with him and I've really fallen in love. It's hard to think about being so open with anyone else. I'm really sad about how things are going. I know it's not really relevant to wls but I just had to talk about it. Sad. Sad. Don't want to have to date again and don't want to lose what we have ((( It's so hard to be open about this as is.

No. There's a patch??

It really trips me out too how much the face can change. My face looks like a complete different person! Even the shape of my brows and nose is different. I wasn't ugly before I lost weight but my skin and face did not look healthy because of the food I was putting in my body. I've never been at this weight before and wasn't sure what I would look like but I'm loving it! And loving seeing everyone else's beautiful faces emerge as well!!

Not everyone slacks off on their Vitamins just because they don't care. I couldn't and still can't tolerate them- they make me horribly nauseated and I throw up over and over after taking them. I can't tell you how many times I've been pulled over on the side of the road on my way to work vomiting from a Vitamin I took. And Protein shakes gave me the runs after a while. Diarrhea galore. So for someone already struggling to get enough food and Water, puking and diarrhea just weren't going to fly. I tried liquid vitamins, gummies, swallowing them.... They all make me sick. Flinstones is so far the only kind. I'm trying to get as much vitamin from my food as possible by eating a wide variety of vegetables and fruits. I even have have sympathy for the op. It's hard to get used to this new regime. It sucks to have to take medication every day. Hopefully they will find ways to make it easier and keep up with it.

I didn't take my Vitamins or eat my Protein for months. Really, ever. They made me super sick. I tried many different kinds. I couldn't eat much of anything and protien was very difficult to get down. I have a Vitamin b1 deficiency and I have lost some muscle. Everything else is okay so far. It's been almost a year. As I eat more meat I don't worry so much about protein but vitamins are still an issue. I've begun taking Flinstones and I can tolerate them. I'm trying to work up to adult vitamins. It's very difficult for me. Unless you have a real reason why your not taking them, you really should be. I literally couldn't, I would just throw them up. If it's just you forgetting, try to set up a better system to remember. It's not a habit you want to get into!

I totally lost my butt. It's so sad. I need a butt lift

Thanks everyone. I like the idea of asking for a to go box right off. It will also help alleviate the urge to "clean my plate" if I can out most of it aside from the get go. Because if I try and clean my plate I am going to be sick for sure!! The nose running and hiccuping thing also happens to me. I need to pay more attention to that. The weight watchers portions sure brought me back!! Those are good. They were impossible for me to follow pre- surgery but now are a great tool, thanks Babbs !

Yes!!! Thank you!!! Ridiculous to be criticized for having self confidence. What am I supposed to do, walk around with my head down all day and out my self down!?? Someone calls me pretty or smart and I'm supposed to say "oh no, no I'm not!" That's so screwed up. I have a daughter I hope she grows up to hold her head high, know her strengths, know her value, and be confident enough to admit to her flaws. We are what we believe ourselves to be In life we have to be our own best friend.

I agree with babbs. Go back to basics. Protein really is the key for us. I can take down significantly more carbs like bagels than I can protein. It's unfortunate you don't have the level of restriction some people do, but eventually all of us may lose that so it's good to get where you need to go regardless. It all comes down to you and your choices. If you decide you want this you can have it! Get back to the gym and get back on track.