bellabloom

I get a lot of looks from men now for sure. It's not that weird for me because I was only overweight 5 years and I used to get looks before I gained. Sometimes the looks are a little over the top though. One guy followed me around the grocery store. As for women, I both get treated better and worse. I feel appreciative looks, feel like more women are open to a friendship with me... I also feel some envy from others. Work opportunities have grown as well, especially since I'm in the fashion/arts industry. I'm received a lot better by everyone. I enjoy the attention and try to take it in stride. After all, this is just the cover of my book and people don't know me until they know me. When I was overweight I remember feeling so envious and angry towards thin women and also obsessed with them. I don't feel that way anymore. And I find overweight women very beautiful. It's quite an adjustment I think. I also think the attention and positivity comes from how happily I now carry myself. People are drawn to that.

* Anthem Blue Cross of California, Covered California Plan through the individual marketplace. Silver 95 plan. remember, if you have anthem through your work your requirements may be different. Share your experience with this insurance and let's help out each other! There is nothing so stressful as the beginning. I was so confused by this insurance process I am doing this to help other's in my situation. Let's help out! 1 what was your doctor and hospital 3 what medical requirements were there? 4 what medical tests were required? 5. Did you have to do a supervised diet? 6 how long for approval? 7 what was good about them? 8 what was bad? 9 what should we know to watch out for if anything.

@babbs- I think it's clear to many people on here - it's not always what you say, it's HOW you say it. ????

I'll know what I want when I see it.

OP i too am sorry you're having a hard time. Like I said, I don't know you or your regular eating habits. And even if they weren't so good, I'm not judging you. This journey is hard for everyone!! I only wanted to be supportive and offer help. I wasn't trying to patronize you. There are some terrible trolls on here. One member in particular is very cruel and sarcastic in her comments, I don't know why she still comes on here so much since she clearly doesn't care what people are going through. I've noticed a few others in her pack. I don't like when they post to my threads and wish they wouldn't. I don't understand their harshness and I'm sorry for you if you were hurt. There are good people here and mean ones as well. I live in fear of weight regain and truthfully I don't follow "plan" very well so it's a real possibility for me. I do hope you are doing okay and you and you have all the support you need in real life.

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I wonder if this has more to do with losing muscle as you age? I have read that losing muscle mass is very common as we grow older.

No, not everyone. But most. It started for me around 6 months and lasted about 4 months.

It can and WILL give you an ulcer. Make it harder to heal, give you more loose skin, etc etc. please don't do it. I began smoking after my surgery and smoked heavily for 6 months. Wtf was I thinking! I quit at last and am so glad I did. I was just replacing food with another oral addiction. My doctor explained I would get ulcers from it and also I saw myself actually aging from it. I know you can do this!! You can stay quit!!! Just keep saying, every day that passes I will want to smoke less.

Mine still does it over a year out gurgling.

Hahahaha cowgirl Jane. Love you. I don't care for sex early either but man that animal Attraction sometimes kicks in

Hahahah. Thanks everyone. The post above mine is really cute. I'm not into casual sex though. I end up getting attached. I feel like I need to defend myself? But why bother. Fine, y'all think I'm desperate. I'm trying to fill a void.... I do enjoy the affirmation of dating but after about 100 first dates I think I've had more than my fill. I open to something more serious now. Tired of getting to know new people all the time. I'm looking for someone I really like to have fun and regular sex with. Someone that will accept my body with its flaws... That would be awesome. I don't care about the "perfect man" because I know it doesn't exist. I want someone who is really funny, smart, has integrity, and is just cute enough to turn me on. The rest is all negligible. I'm not going to be happy with my body wether I find someone or not until I have a tummy tuck and that's just a fact. I want a flat stomach. I've never had one and I want one bad. I have been reading a lot of body positive things online trying to feel better about it in the meantime however. Honestly, who cares what a guy thinks. There are so many guys out there, if one doesn't like the way my body is than I'll find one that does. Personally I don't care much at all how a guys body looks so there are likely men who feel the same. I've been dealing with some other stuff in my life this week that made me feel pretty blue and that's affected me as well... I'm feeling better today. I have a date with this guy I've been seeing tonight so we will see what happens!!

Please please...focus on getting your head where it needs to be and not looking for a boyfriend. I just don't think you are ready. We all have insecurities but if yours loom this large, you really should address that and not let them overwhelm you in situations like this. I also have loose skin but my attitude is that this is part of the package and if you don't like it, we're done. Of course I am with a man now how thinks I'm just the bees knees, wrinkled skin and all. Your attitude with drive this thing and your insecurities are overwhelming you. Dating is hard enough without dealing with these issues as well. Work on yourself my friend, and then you can work on finding a partner.So I'm supposed to wait until I get my skin taken care of? That sucks... This isn't about me being insecure about MYSELF. I'm insecure about a body issue. Me, I'm awesome. I love being me. I just hate that I have a sagging nasty mommy apron. It's awkward during sex. But I really don't want to be celibate for a year either. I just need to get over it. Just from reading this thread, you seem like you are in such a hurry to find a partner. You ARE awesome, you really don't need to rush into a relationship right now. Enjoy your new body, enjoy your children, figure out a good eating plan, date, but you really don't NEED a partner right this very minute, do you? No I didn't really NEED a partner. I enjoy dating. I enjoy sex. I enjoy having a boyfriend. I'd rather be in a constant situation than not. If I was desperate to find someone I wouldn't have turned down about a zillion guys who were interested. I'm looking selectively. I am VERY picky. I'm not one to settle. But I'm not one to stay home alone and watch Bridget jones diary either.

Well, sure I suppose. Anyway in my case, my ex was still attracted to me overweight. I don't know this woman's husbands mind so who knows what makes him tick- but him not being attracted to her (if that's the case which I doubt) is still NO excuse for the fact that he is abusing her emotionally. Some men are attracted to overweight women and feel ashamed of it and so they mistreat them. Who knows what his deal is. I bet the op is a beautiful person inside and out. She deserves better.

I doubt this is an issue of her husband not being attracted to her. It's an issue of power and control when someone is abusive. My ex insulted me daily and yet was in constant demand of sex from me at every weight. He was extremely attracted to me. Didn't have any effect on his telling me I looked like a donut. In fact I think it made it worse. He was ashamed of his own attraction. This hasn't got anything to do with her or her looks. Her husband is an abuser, period. Money was a major reason I didn't leave sooner. I secretly saved money and also went to family for help.

Please please...focus on getting your head where it needs to be and not looking for a boyfriend. I just don't think you are ready. We all have insecurities but if yours loom this large, you really should address that and not let them overwhelm you in situations like this. I also have loose skin but my attitude is that this is part of the package and if you don't like it, we're done. Of course I am with a man now how thinks I'm just the bees knees, wrinkled skin and all. Your attitude with drive this thing and your insecurities are overwhelming you. Dating is hard enough without dealing with these issues as well. Work on yourself my friend, and then you can work on finding a partner.So I'm supposed to wait until I get my skin taken care of? That sucks... This isn't about me being insecure about MYSELF. I'm insecure about a body issue. Me, I'm awesome. I love being me. I just hate that I have a sagging nasty mommy apron. It's awkward during sex. But I really don't want to be celibate for a year either. I just need to get over it.

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...I noticed about 6 months ago...I still can get that sick, tight feeling after a slice of pizza, but it doesn't last and I can return 2 hrs later for a little bit more...I have no hunger pangs after I've eaten like that...but the old way that I used to eat is starting to slip back in.Sounds more like grazing behavior than a stretched sleeve to me. I hope it is just that...I had a little tuna and 4 small crackers for lunch yesterday then for my mom's bday dinner...a small slice of pizza hut meat lovers, 2 boneless wings, a small slice of cake and a little scoop of ice cream...full but not sick...I've got to say hush puppy, and I'm not trying to be mean or jump down your throat. I don't know how you eat every meal. But eating pizza, cake, boneless wings, ice cream, scalloped potatoes, Cookies, truffles?? The calories for your moms birthday meal alone was likely around 900. Pizza-280, small cake 300, 2 boneless wings 200, ice cream -200. ???? That would be almost your entire intake depending on your metabolism. Plus those types of foods lead to huge cravings. If this was a fluke meal I apologize, but if it's happening With any regularity, you must buckle down and get back to eating right or the gain will continue. I would say an absolute no to any Desserts until your back at goal. Sugar is a gateway drug!! That calorie estimate is just a guess at best- could have been way more. Restaurant foods are evil!! And I agree that stretched sleeve or no- if your tracking your calories and they are on point, then you shouldn't be gaining. I feel for you, I do. I know how hard this is. I hope you get the support you need and don't feel attacked. I'm sure everyone on here, myself included, just wants to see you happy and successful. I'm operating with the idea that yes, my sleeve is temporary. One day it will stretch. But it won't matter because my good habits and portions will still be in place and I will ALWAYS track my calories and stay on top of ANY weight gain. I did this once, never going to have to do it again!!

They want to know what your "secret" is because they want to lose weight too. I'm always so torn. Some people I tell, others I say portion control and no sugar. It depends on who it is. Really it's a private thing. I think in the future I'm going to try harder to brush by the question and not tell anyone anymore. I'm tired of Talking about it. I look forward to a time when no one remembers me as overweight...

I also went through an emotionally abusive marriage with my kids father. 8 years of slamming my appearance and I'd had enough. Basically he liked to keep me emotionally downtrodden to deal with his own insecurities and fears. He insulted me daily about my weight and yet sabotaged every diet I went on and forbade me to have surgery. ???? This sounds a lot like your situation. My ex decided it was his way only- exercise the weight off. Which never worked for me and by the end I was too fat to work out anyway. He said that I embarrassed him and that is let myself go. He never loved me unconditionally. I left the relationship, had surgery, lost the weight, and have not looked back. I don't know your entire situation but what you're going through IS abuse. And it's not going to get better on its own. You need to seriously consider some changes, some tough conversations, or honestly your marriage may not be long in the world. Because ultimately when someone is abusing you, it eventually comes down to you or them. If I'd stayed with my ex it would have killed me- it already had emotionally and it likely would have killed me physically too. I was that unhappy. Your husband may be a pastor but he is not "walking the walk." But that's his own stuff. Marriage is hard and it does take work. I would seriously consider marriage counseling If you haven't already. It didn't work for me and my ex but it may work for you guys. I also gained weight on purpose to qualify at 40bmi. I had to gain 5 pounds. Ate my heart out, still couldn't quite gain it, ended up with weights in my bra. Only to find out I qualified with co-morbid conditions but heh oh well. Don't feel bad about doing what you have to do to have this surgery. Man, 5 pounds up changed my life!!! That was the best couple of pounds I EVER gained. You say you've spoken out to your husband to stop. I did too. I literally begged on hands and knees. He needs a serious wake-up call. I mean SERIOUS. Because he is going to end up losing you. Mine lost me... And pines for me still. 1.5 years later I still get puppy dog eyes and midnight texts and compliments. a*****e.

Here is the last 6 months

Long distance is really tough. But it can be done!! I'm a wedding photographer and I have seen lots of couples together having begun long distance . I'm glad you said no to k, he sounded like a lame-o. )

Stay away from citrus. Ulcers and herd are no fun

I think it really depends on how your body is shaped. We are the same height and we began at the same weight. but I'm 35 and have had two kids. I don't have much lose skin at 117 lbs except for my stomach and chin, which is where I carried the bulk of my weight. It really depends on where you carry most of your weight. If you're well distributed you probably won't have any.

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