steph1281

My husband is the most amazing guy -- funny, kind, thoughtful, smart, adorable -- but he's struggled with his weight all of his life. Literally since the day he was born. I think for him a lot of it is genetic (his mom struggled and lots of his cousins do too) and also that he grew up in a household that revolved around food (his parents came to the U.S. from Italy when he was little and I think turned to food as a way to make up for their loneliness here). He turns to food when he's sad and he's had lots of really tough things happen to him in life, particuarly in the last five years or so. Although he's lost weight before, he wasn't able to keep it off. He's 43 now and close to 400 lbs. and I'm so scared for his health. He's a tall, solid guy, with the weight really evenly distributed, so he doesn't look like he could weigh that much, but I know it's too much for him and I'm really worried for his health. He already has sleep apnea and high blood pressure. I'm 32 and we've been trying to start a family without any luck and it's been really hard on our relationoship. I don't know if his weight is a factor in that, but I'm afraid it might be. I've been trying to get him to consider weight loss surgery but he gets so upset any time I mention it. He says he's lost the weight on his own before and that he can do it again. But he's been promising me he'll lose weight for years and I think it's just too much for him to do on his own. I've tried to be supportive (encourage him to come walk the dogs with me, be supportive emotionally, etc.) but it doesn't help and I'm starting to feel resentful and angry. Like shouldn't he do this out of his love for me? Rather than potentially lose 15 years off of his life and leave me alone? If anyone has any ideas of how I could help convince him or support him in the process I would be so grateful for any suggestions. I feel like his weight is destroying him and I can't stand to watch him suffer like that.

Thank you all for your replies so far. I've never been on a forum that offered so much kind, thoughtful support (and so quickly!). This would be a great resource for my husband if I could get him here. I think having a good support network would really help, as we live far from our families and his mom recently passed away and his dad is cognitively impaired from a stroke he sustained a few years agao (see what I mean about tough stuff happening to him recently). He's also had a tough time finding a job since he got finished his teaching certification program awhile back so he's dealing with that and he hasn't gotten to know many people here either (we moved here fours years ago for a job opportuniy for me). I did find a Bariatric Center nearby and I see they do have seminars so maybe that would be a good next step.