FrankyG

I am so glad the cheating isn't just me, even though I know we all probably feel pretty bad when we do that. My husband was telling me to stop being so hard on myself too. I kind of think that the doctors have to know bariactric patients probably do cheat a little bit - because this is HARD. And I get that it's short term and there are valid medical reasons for doing so, and cheating of any kind is super bad... but still. My hubby is also doing the diet with me, so I've been researching lots of paleo recipes (low or no carb, meat/veggie) since they seem to be the closest to what I'm actually allowed to eat, and we've been having experiments with lunch and dinner for the time I've been doing the diet. Found a super crockpot jerk chicken recipe that is heavenly, and I can do zuchinni in the oven with a broiler (little salt/pepper/olive oil) and it tastes just like the fried squash I adore (and thought I'd have to stop making since it's super greasy and fried). Husband has lost 6 pounds in 5 days (probably more, he forgot to weigh himself today but he's also eating a bit more ounces than I am allowed). I've lost (even with the slipup) over 10 pounds at this point. And my stomach is not growling. And I realized too that the hunger I'm feeling when I'm craving the carbs/sugar is all head hunger - not actual "I need to eat because I'm starving" type hunger. I love food and love to cook - all kinds and tastes and flavors - and I am going to really have to pay attention to the real hunger cues once I'm through the surgery. Starting to make my list for the junk I'll be needing in the next couple of weeks for both the hospital stay and while at home. I have most everything ready, but forgot a few things and will have to run out to pick up tomorrow, and need to pack a small bag for the hospital. I read through the "what to take to the hospital" thread earlier, and I'm thinking I won't need even half of what was suggested - just my phone/charger, chapstick, toothbrush, comfy clothes and shoes and those gas strips. I've had the laproscopic surgery before (gallbladder) so I know what to expect at least. Bought one of those big lounge pillows to prop me up while I sleep once I'm home since we don't have a recliner - as I remember not being able to sleep flat for close to a week! Hope everyone that has had their surgery already is recovering well and everyone that is waiting to go in is really excited and ready to go!!

I'm so mad/sad with myself right now. I cheated on my preop diet. I'd been doing pretty well up until now (lost 10 pounds in 4 days as well), but my workplace just received the annual giant basket of goodies from a regular client for the holidays, and I caved and ate a shortbread cookie and a burbon ball. These are the best cookies/burbon balls I've ever had (they send the same assortment every year so I knew what they tasted like too). I was hoping that the darned gift basket was going to wait to show up until I was out of the office already because I am unable to resist those things. And this was with a rather liberal preop diet too: two meals with meat/veggies allowed and two Protein shakes a day and sugar free jello/popsicles allowed. So stupid to slip up like that. I'd been doing so well. The carbs and sugar are the main issue and I just went and ate over 50 carbs in like 2 minutes! (and holy moly I never paid attention to carbs before - that is scary how high in carbs small things can be!!) I'm going to go strictly liquids for Tuesday/Wednesday (which should be easier as I'm off work too) and hope that I can undo the damage. My surgery is the 18th (Thursday).

December 18th here! I don't text or facebook tho, so I'll just post here. The time is FLYING now - seems like just last week I started thinking about doing this whole thing! Been researching my pre op diet today and making meal plans. My husband is joining me on it to be supportive and also to lose some weight too. So we start it next Friday (doc only wants a 7 day pre op diet) and I think it isn't going to be as bad as I thought since I get to have some "real" food in there. I can have three Protein (powder in water) drinks a day, and two meals consisting of 5 oz. of a meat or eggs, and 1 cup cooked (or 2 cups raw) of a list of approved veggies. No dairy, no breads, no fruit, no Pasta or carbs of any kind. And no alcohol either! Oh, and I'm allowed either a sugar free popsicles or Jello cups as Snacks. So I'm using the last of the thanksgiving turkey to make a broth to use for post op diet, I have a few ideas for my pre op diet and heading out to the story tomorrow to do the shopping. I have to track down some threads on things to take with to the hospital, but I'm only there one day (hopefully). So is everyone more excited than scared at this point? The more I read, the better I'm feeling about this decision and I'm really looking forward to getting control of food for the first time in like EVER instead of it controlling me!

Two weeks from today is my surgery date. I've got my registration and hospital testing scheduled next week and I am alternating between being excited and wanting to cancel everything. My husband admitted that he sort of wishes I wasn't doing it - he worries I'll lose too much weight, and he likes "curvy girls," and is definitely a boob guy, which I already knew. But he said that logically it makes sense to get this done since I'm having difficulties now, and he wants me to be healthy and hadn't said anything because he knew he was being irrational (about the appearance factor), and he loves me, I'm his best friend, and he supports me. But he's also a little scared that things will change so much that I won't love him as much any more. Sigh. And of course there are no guarantees in all of this - we'll just have to do our best to stay committed to our relationship and communicating as we go along and hope that we come through it all still wanting to be with each other. We've been married just over 12 years, so I'd like to think we have weathered most crap that can break up a marriage (serious health issues, infertility, extreme family issues) and still managed to come through that without too much damage. That being said, I am also worried about losing too much weight. I don't want to be a size 4 or even a size 10. I would be much happier to be a size 14-16. That would mean me losing around 110 pounds, which is in the realm of "average" weight loss for my size/height. But then I read about most of the sleevers losing so much weight that they are sizes 4-10 and that bothers me since I thought the sleeve was supposed to be for losing an average of 60-70% of the excess weight? So a whole lot of folks on here are either crazy successful with their sleeves or the average loss is higher than what my doc told me. I would be fine with some saggy skin, but I don't want to lose my boobs/butt or my hourglass shape, and sure as hell don't want to have to get a boob job with implants to make up for the fact that my boobs "deflated." I just want to be a good weight to be able to get my flexibility and stamina back and feel like going out and doing all the things I used to enjoy... and still look good (which I don't think I will if I got down lower than a size 14). It does seem like after a certain point - about a year out? - you can control how much weight you put back on once the sleeve adjusts and you're able to eat any food, so I told him even if I got down to a lower weight than I wanted, I can always increase the calories to make sure I get back to my goal weight. I'm pretty sure that would work?

I would like to lose around 100-120 pounds - my goal weight is about 175. I was that for a very long time, and I was in great shape there while still being really happy with how I looked. I do appreciate the responses so far. I'm definitely having the short-time-left jitters!

But if I'm following my doctor's suggested diet, and exercising (which I planned to do) that may mean that I could lose more weight than I had planned on losing. Which is my point. I know that the sleeve alone isn't some magic pill that melts off the weight - it is a tool that will help me if I'm putting in the effort. I'm just a bit worried that it might work too well if I'm doing all the stuff I'm supposed to be doing. Or I'm going to be one of the lucky ones that has minimum weight loss and this is all worry over nothing.

My gallbladder pains were almost all in my back and were horrible (ended up in a fetal postion on the floor most of the time). From what I remember, the attacks can be different levels of pain and completely different areas from person to person. That being said, if the pain is unlike anything you've experienced up until now, absolutely call your doctor and get in to see them ASAP to rule out anything serious.

So sorry for your family's loss. So why couldn't you have spinach or other basic veggies like cabbage or broccoli with the chicken? (I get no mac and cheese or fried stuff) I don't mind Luby's (love their veggies and the baked whitefish) so I'll probably still eat out, but it will be a few bites of a Luann platter and make sure I get a to go box and have meals for days! ;D

I have a sliding hiatal hernia and the doc said it would be repaired during the surgery as well. I think the main reason they look for it is because it would be covered by insurance and that would cover some of the cost of the total bariatric surgery (especially good if you're self pay). He didn't say that it would add any time at all to the hospital stay or healing time, so I think it's just expected to be pretty much a part of the overall surgery.

I just had all my testing and picked up my Protein stuff and discussed the pre-op diet and I was happy and surprised that it actually wasn't an all liquid. That's kind of awesome! Starting 7 days out, I have to do two shakes for two of my meals and then a meal consisting of 5 ounces of meat and something about a veggie... and diet soda is still okay (which sounds great to me). I know it's still going to be hard since I love grazing all day. I'm self pay too, and I saved up everything in a savings account, but I'll be paying with a credit card to get the points. I figure I have to get some money back on this, right? I am alternating between being kind of excited and ready right this minute, to being freaked out and thinking I'm crazy to do this... I've been watching several YouTube channels devoted to VGS bloggers, and I'm getting a little concerned about the fact that many relationships that seemed strong broke up after the blogger got their surgery. LessofSarah really bummed me out as she reminded me of myself. My marriage has taken some very serious hits (serious inlaw issues and then infertility) that we did come through, but what if all the little cracks that developed through the other stuff break open after the surgery? So something else to cause anxiety... hooray! At least both of us are discussing this now and are both very open to the idea of counseling. Sigh.

The depression and self loathing part is quite awful and I know it's screwy thinking. I usually am able to stop that really bad stuff from looping in my head... I know I'll need to seek counseling at some point as it's definitely not healthy to think that way. I keep telling myself it's just nerves. I'm definitely going through with it, but I do have feelings of self doubt and low self esteem and tend to be a worrywart. So it's kind of good to get all that junk out now and then hopefully be fully on board and ready to go once the date gets here. I thought about going the Mexico route for about 5 minutes but it really makes me uncomfortable leaving the country to get this, so I'm okay with the cost for a US surgery. Thank you both for the support and commentary - it's a hard road to walk alone sometimes!

Had my stress test and scope to check for hernias (and did have a sliding hiatal hernia) and the nut meeting where I got my supplements and Protein powders today. Surgery is scheduled for Dec. 18th. I'll have to do pre-op registration at the hospital about a week out and they'll be split billing me - the hernia surgery should be covered by my insurance with a max of $1,000 out of pocket, and I'll have to pay around 13K for my sleeve. My insurance technically would have covered bariactrics with a few easy to meet requirements, except my ~lovely~ company specficially excluded it from their policy so I'm paying everything out of pocket. Despite being a smoker for over 20 years (quit recently) my lungs were great, and there were no problems with my heart either. I also should be happy they found a hernia as that knocked off close to 3K from the total bill since insurance will cover that part. But I got really anxious during the scope procedure as the numbing agent worked a bit too well and I was completely unable to swallow and started choking and at one point I felt like I couldn't stop and my throat hurt really bad the rest of the day. All I could think of on the way home is that I'm just going to throw my money away on this and how it is my fault I can't get my weight under control so maybe I deserve to be fat and sick and die early. (I'm also feeling a wee bit depressed as my birthday is coming up and this has really been a crappy year and I won't be celebrating at all). How to move past the feelings of self-doubt and stop worrying about the money?

I started smoking in my teens and I have been a smoker for over 20 years now. I quit for about a 2 year period around 2005, but stress and a constant nagging memory of smoking ended up pushing me back into it. I'm exactly the same as you - smoking was a stress reliever, a reward, a break, a friend. It was a part of my life in every way. I loved smoking. I kind of still do. I quit 4 weeks ago - as of midnight. I did three days of the patch and then went cold turkey. I did it because I want the best possible outcome for this surgery. I'm self pay, and the idea that I would spend all this money and put my body through this while smoking... I would feel like an absolute idiot if I did that to myself. Smoking will impair the healing process, decreases circulation and can increase the chances for complications and of course it's horrible for your skin and I'd like to minimize the effects of the saggy baggy skin as I lose weight (in addition to just being a really dumb thing to do when you're trying to get healthy). That being said, I want to smoke so very, very much - I still miss it every single day. I got an app on my phone that shows how long since I quit, how much things have improved in circulation, lung health, etc over time and read the support boards when I'm having a serious craving. I whine to my husband about how much I want a cigarette. And I am eating absolute crap since I figure better gain a bit of weight than smoke right now. And I keep telling myself after I've healed and lost some weight, maybe I'll smoke again... but it's a lie I'm telling myself to make it through today and tomorrow and next week. If I can just delay the smoking a little longer, the urge to smoke will lessen even more and I'll gain even more control over it. I'm not saying I'll be a non smoker for the rest of my life, since for me that seems too final and might panic me back into smoking (I know how screwy my mind works). But I'll do my best to ensure that for now, and for as long as I am healing and trying to get healthy I'll refrain from smoking. I already have better taste and smell, my toes and fingers no longer get numb or cold and I can't even remember the last time I coughed or had to clear my throat and I no longer wheeze - it's amazing how quickly the body heals when you let it. And oh my dog I don't stink like stale cigarettes any more! Research the Allen Carr method to stop smoking (it is pretty awesome and I believe the videos are on YouTube) and do whatever it takes to get your mind wrapped around the idea that smoking is poison for you going into surgery. If you have to lie to yourself (like I'm doing), use props (apps, e-cigs with the vapor only/no nicotine, I used straws and pens and pencils cut down to cig size to carry in my hand) and eat candy or ice or chew gum like there's no tomorrow - do it. It is for the absolute best and you'll be so happy with yourself! Oh - and check out the website whyquit.com - I read tons of articles on there and every sad case I could so that it bolstered my resolve to quit. There is absolutely no benefits to smoking. It is the only thing out there that if used as intended, will cripple and then kill you.

I just changed my surgery date to December 18th, so I hope it's okay to join in here. I ended up having to move from October, and while I'm a little worried about the wait, it works out better as I have time off and holidays off so I don't have to go back to work until Jan. 5th. Will be a great start to 2015!

Thanks everyone for your stories! I did have to switch my surgery date to December due to work scheduling (aaaaah!) but I'm still getting this done this year, and found out I have more vacation time than I thought, so I will be basically off the last part of the month to recover. I figure that's a win!

Sort of an introduction, and sort of a "what the @#! am I getting into" type of post. So hi, I'm Frankie, or FG if you'd prefer. I've been fat for almost 20 years at this point, but it's just the last 10 or so where I'm really starting to notice it affecting my life. Last two years, I've been experiencing more health issues (aches and pains, stiffness, swollen feet and limited stamina) along with crushing fatigue. I had thought "maybe one of these days" about having some form of bariatric surgery, but in the last month, I decided that it was time, made the consult appointment and scheduled the sleeve surgery for Oct. 30th December 18 (had a scheduling conflict). But there is a part of me that wonders if maybe I'm rushing into something I'm ill prepared for mentally. My husband is fine with it, but I do wonder if he's really just telling me what he thinks I want to hear (he says he isn't, but he has a history of doing this). So we'll be talking more over the next couple of weeks to see if we're both on the same page. I do know when I talked to him today (after my scheduling appointment) and told him when the surgery was scheduled, he said that was "really fast" and seemed surprised, but I'd been telling him I was thinking of trying to get it done the last week of October or first part of November when I first started doing some reading on all of this (so it's been several weeks to get adjusted to the idea). I am going to have to self-pay as my workplace specifically excluded the bariatric coverage (even though my insurance company usually included coverage, darn it!). My surgery will cost somewhere around $16K once all the bits and pieces get added up (if there is a hernia, then closer to $14K - so here's hoping for a hernia!) and that is a huge amount of money to just... spend like this. But I keep telling myself that it is for my health and so I don't end up sick and crippled in 20-30 years or sooner. I know I will need to work on my eating habits, my exercise, and have a serious mental adjustment to how and what I eat going forward. I kind of suck when it comes to willpower, but I figure one of the biggest obstacles for me is that I get a ravenous hunger sometimes that should be much more controlled since the ghrelin/hunger hormone is getting drastically reduced by the removal of most of the stomach. The other major issue I have is portion control, and the sleeve should definitely help with that part. I have over 100+ pounds to lose if I want to be a somewhat normal weight, and I would love to get back to being able to ride horses, bike and swim without feeling awkward and ungainly. I would like to look a bit better too, but the main thing for me is mostly wanting to get my range of motion back, stop hurting and enjoy life again. My mother is in her 70s and morbidly obese, and has a ton of major health issues now... and all she does is sit and watch television and read and keep getting more and more feeble, helpless and sick. I don't want that kind of life for myself. I am not scared in the least about having the actual surgery or any pain. I've had my gallbladder out and it's basically the same type of surgery and I was fine after a few days. High pain threshold, no serious illnesses (yet) and doctor said I'm a great candidate and he'd be surprised if I didn't lose much more than the average of 70% of my excess weight. But I'm a bit worried that I'll not get decent results no matter what I try. So has anyone else just made the decision and gone from the consult to surgery within a month or two? Anything to think about or other stuff that I should know? (I have been lurking around here for the last month, and have learned so much!)

Nice to see there are some that have done this in a shorter timeframe and are doing well. I guess I'm still going to be a bit worried but I think the decision is the right one.