Darla Bramel Cochran

I've had issues with my weight most of my life. It never really occurred to me that I was overweight until about the third grade. I was on the playground with friends and one of the boys was chasing me around the basketball court singing "I'm chasing the fat girl". I remember feeling ashamed and I guess I've kept that feel with me most of my life. By the time I was 15 I was paying to lose weight. I started with Nutri System, which worked; I lost 55 pounds and was at an unhealthy weight of 101lbs. I felt sick, I felt tired and unhealthy and soon gained every bit of the 55 lbs. back and more. This was the start a vicious dieting roller coaster, which has continued through college, marriage, my career and two pregnancies.

In 2011, I developed a horrible cold in the fall, by Christmas I couldn't breathe well and visited the doctor, who informed me that I had pneumonia and prescribed me antibiotics. By New Years Day, I was very ill. My husband took me to the hospital, where I was informed that I was in respiratory failure. My lips were blue, my nails were blue and I couldn't catch my breath. Severe Asthma was the final diagnosis. I couldn't believe at 40 years of age I had somehow developed Asthma. The doctor told me I had to lose weight. I weighed 247 pounds and my husband looked at me as though he saw a ghost when he saw this posted on my hospital room note board. Again, I was ashamed and this time afraid for my health so back to the roller coaster.

Three years later I still haven't gotten my Asthma under control. Along with my asthma, I've developed sleep apnea, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. My sugar levels are very close to the diabetic line, and I woke up one morning in July knowing that I was going to have to do something to get myself back on track. I have a daughter who is 17 and looking at colleges. She is the joy of my life and I am unable to do things with her that I would really like to do. Even shopping wears me out. I'd like to see her graduate from high school and college. Help her pick out a wedding gown, and play with my grandchildren. My husband farms and needs me to help out during harvest. I want to grow old with him and enjoy our years together. I have parents who are still thriving in their 70's and can run circles around me. Yep, it was time to do something drastic.

So here I am, waiting to set my surgery date. They tell me it will be in October. I have a couple more hoops to jump through and then I'm off. I'm scared to death to have this done, but I'm even more afraid that if I don't I won't wake up one morning. I don't want to die yet. I have much left to do. I'm not ready.