Chrystee

@@JamieLogical
I'm surprised so many people comment on how you eat or you running. When I am in your neck of the woods, it seems like so many people are active and eat healthy. When I was in the Finger Lakes there were so many good low carb options at every restaurant and so many people seem to lead active healthy lives.

So, my husband and I are divorcing. As part of this process, I'm trying to "put myself out there" and meet new people. I have begun to do that. But this is really the first time where people are meeting the thin me who never knew the fat me. And it definitely makes for an interesting dynamic I hadn't experienced before. I don't really have a question here. Just interested in your thoughts and experiences on the topic.

open letter to those who think they know whats best for us, and why surgery is the easy way out.
so today i joined my first class of Water aerobics at the local rec. center. the instructor was this tall thin thing, at first she seemed nice enough asking all the normal questions and when she brought up weight loss, i simply told her i looked forward to doing this even after surgery because playing in the pool really felt good. then came the look, we all know the one you get it from those who are on the latest fad diet and its actually working for them, or long time vegans who swear it works for everyone.
please do us all a favor and quit acting like you know me, quit acting like you know what caused me to get to where i am or that you even begin to know how to fix me!!!
take your holier than tho butt and your preaching on home!!! no one wants to hear you belittle their struggles and triumphs !!! especially while you are shoving recipes they didn't ask for down their throats!! If i wanted advice from a yoga doing perfect perky ass suzzie home maker fitness know it all id pay for a personal trainer, oh btw I've tried that too, and guess what i still didn't see the results i should have.
me being fat didn't happen over night, in fact I'm pretty sure i could shock the socks right off you if i should you all my sports photos back from when i played ball in school. I wasn't fat then and i loved to run, but that cant be cause I'm too fat for all that. right????
i was ok with agreeing to disagree and be mature enough to just walk away until you decided to open your mouth and tell me i was doomed to fail and this would just create more issues then i already had. first off you have no right to decided when i succeed and when i fail!!!! so fuck you and your high horse!!!
you making me feel terrible on purpose while using the guise of trying to help me was low. you are entitled to your own opinion but that doesn't mean its worth hearing. i never once asked if you thought i was doing the right thing, because its my life and my body!!! i refuse to be bullied around by you and people like you who keep saying well if you would just put your mind to it and actually commit you could lose the weight all by your self.
so ill leave you with the best advice my momma gave me " if you don't know what the fuck you are talking about or don't have anything nice to say shut the fuck up and exit stage left"
ok sorry rant/outburst over

I had some major issues with the people in my life over the past few months. Everyone said I have changed. Well I dont think my personality has changed at all - I have always been outspoken and comical. What changed was I am no longer sitting around the house all day long watching TV. I am the first to say "lets do something" instead of trying to figure out ways to stay home. I enjoy myself now. Why is it that my family and friends have to make me feel guilty for finally living my life? They act like they were happier with the "old" me. Well guess what - I wasnt happy so everyone will either have to get over it and get used to the new improved me - or they have the option of not being in my life anymore!
I dont really see myself differently when I look in the mirror - in fact I still have the "fat" sight issue. Even though I am down to a size 12 from a size 20 I still see myself as fat. I dont know if I will ever get over that or not but I am not beating myself up for it anymore either!

Yes.. its crazy.. I never had a sex drive.. and now I want it all the time.
He is being patient, and we have done some fun stuff with others..
I have had a few highs and lows.. had a couple depressing moments.. but all in all I'm SO MUCH happier than before.

Pretty much on every WLS forum, they end up only being people considering, people who just had surgery and people less than a year. There are very few people that stick around long term. At first I thought it was because people are enjoying their new thinner life, but now as I am not just an observer, but almost a year out from surgery I realize it is more of a mix of enjoying life and tried of beating your head against a brick wall.
There is so much good information to gain here from successful people. Really successful people, not just people that lost the expect average weight but people who get to normal BMIs and maintain them. That is really very rare on most WLS forums. I was surprised when I first started reading here the number of people that are successful and really successful. It has changed my long term goal in my mind of what I think I can obtain with my WLS. There are so many good tips to pick up if people read and pay attention.

I am going for surgery in August and you guys are saying you're not going to be there. I am a follower of rules and I need and want to make this work. I know it will take work from me. Please do not leave. I understand your disgust with that post, but there are those of us out here who need to talk to you and people like you, who speak reality, not crap. Please stick around in some fashion.
Sent from my SM-T800 using the BariatricPal App

This is why it ends up only being newbies. *sigh*

I think what you are feeling is normal and we all go through it whether you are 30 or 50. Once we start losing the weight, we feel younger and certainly more vibrant.
I do think people that we knew tend to act differently especially after seeing you for the first time after such a significant weight loss. I don't believe it is me changing as much as they are not sure how to act around us.
I spoke to a friend last night for 2 hours. We have not seen each other in about 15 months. When she saw my new pic on Facebook, she said she could not even comprehend that it was me. Apparently my thin face no longer looks the same. As we talked and talked, she said Deb, you are still the same you and I miss you so much! I said I only shed another whole me but my personality is still the same, I promise.
So many times people that once knew us as a heavy person who hid behind dark clothing and tried to stay inconspicuous think that deep down everything has changed. Well, in mycase that is just not true. I might be more confident in the way I look and I might show up in vibrant colors but I am still in here.
I think it all just takes a lot of time and some women that were not your friends are now find you as their competition. We are simply not used to that feeling.

Yes.. its crazy.. I never had a sex drive.. and now I want it all the time.
He is being patient, and we have done some fun stuff with others..
I have had a few highs and lows.. had a couple depressing moments.. but all in all I'm SO MUCH happier than before.

Has anyone gone through an identity crisis after WLS? I feel overall happier than before, but I don't know if its culmination of my age (36) and the weight loss, but I feel like I'm going through a bit of an identity or mid life crisis? I'm glad my husband is giving me a little leeway, and we are having fun "discovering" things together.. but then I feel a little depressed lately too.. my whole identity is changing.. People call me beautiful, gorgeous, a MILF.. and I'm just not used to these things.. they seem so foreign.
When I was over 250-300 pounds, people mostly ignored me.. no one looked in my eyes.. people were barely friendly.. my husband agrees that my personality hasn't changed that much.. but just the outside me.. I also discovered changes in my sexuality, that I had no idea existed. I went from 0 sex drive, to 150 MPH, raging, always wanting sex as well..
I'm rambling, but just wondered if anyone else has gone through this, and do the hormones calm down after a bit?

Yesterday the AC on our house went out. It was to be expected as we've been watching our neighbor's units being replaced pretty steadily over the last year and every house in my 'hood was built at the same time.
(We were smart enough to buy home protection service last year as we watched it happen, too. )

Anywho...yesterday my kids started complaining that is was hot in the house. I'm usually freezing (bedazzled) @ss cold so I didn't even notice. Checked the AC, it was set at 76 and it was 80 in the house. Checked the breaker in the garage and the reset button on the unit. Definitely dead.

By last night, it was a balmy 87 inside. Everyone else in the house is in misery. Me? I don't care if it takes them a week to get here. I'm like a turtle. I'm just soaking up the warmth.

And yes, I still slept under the down comforter last night.

Yes.. its crazy.. I never had a sex drive.. and now I want it all the time.
He is being patient, and we have done some fun stuff with others..
I have had a few highs and lows.. had a couple depressing moments.. but all in all I'm SO MUCH happier than before.

Congrats! You've just doubled your dating pool.

@@Chrystee - Libido is now at 150? Please hide from @KindaFamiliar
Mine has been way over the top after I dropped below 220. And it makes sense, I'm just healthier. Thankfully I'm now in a committed relationship, it was getting really weird last year. ;-(
Being better looking and healthier changes how people see you. There is a new normal coming.

I think everyone in their mid 30s goes through a bit of a crisis. With 40 looming and college and your 20s behind you, people start taking stock of where their life is going.
I am adjusting from being a pretty big girl, to being just a regular pretty chick or maybe just average. I notice now women don't talk to me as much as they used to. I used to always have lots of women talk to me whenever I went places but women engage me less than they did when I was larger. I'm an outgoing extrovert and people are usually drawn to me. People still talking to me, but its just not the same. I also get fewer compliments from women but more compliments from men. It amuses me.
I always had a high sex drive and that hasn't changed. I think it is pretty normal that young healthy people have strong sex drives, if they don't something is medically or mentally wrong with them. That is biology at work, young people of child bearing age are supposed to want to have sex, that is how the human race continues.
I never had a fat neck, I could still always wear chokers and I barely had a double chin. I don't see a lot of difference in my face except my high cheekbones look a little higher and stand out more. When I look in the mirror, I don't really see a huge difference. I see it in a full length mirror and their are mirrors all over my home, but I always think about how far I have to go still, not how far I have come. It helps that I didn't hate myself before or think I was ugly or unattractive.
Now I am rambling, anyway I think it is normal to take stock of your life for an self aware intelligent person. If you weren't that would be more of a concern.

After losing 100 lbs. I looked at myself in the mirror and had no idea who was staring back at me. I was fortunate enough to find a therapist with experience working with weight loss patients and I've been seeing her for over two years now working on getting to the heart of my issues.
As many know, the weight is a symptom of whatever our issues are. It took me such a long time to even acknowledge that for me, being fat meant I could hide the things that hurt me. Now that there's no fat to hide behind, I'm having to face those issues head on and learn how to deal with them. It's very much a work in progress so know that what you are going through, many others have gone through as well.
In my opinion, there's no way we can change our outside so drastically without changing what made us so self destructive in the first place.
If you find that you are having difficulties with all the changes, don't hesitate to speak with a professional. If you are getting the help and support you need from your husband and other loved ones, you may be able to identify your new self with time alone.

This is why it ends up only being newbies. *sigh*

Has anyone gone through an identity crisis after WLS? I feel overall happier than before, but I don't know if its culmination of my age (36) and the weight loss, but I feel like I'm going through a bit of an identity or mid life crisis? I'm glad my husband is giving me a little leeway, and we are having fun "discovering" things together.. but then I feel a little depressed lately too.. my whole identity is changing.. People call me beautiful, gorgeous, a MILF.. and I'm just not used to these things.. they seem so foreign.
When I was over 250-300 pounds, people mostly ignored me.. no one looked in my eyes.. people were barely friendly.. my husband agrees that my personality hasn't changed that much.. but just the outside me.. I also discovered changes in my sexuality, that I had no idea existed. I went from 0 sex drive, to 150 MPH, raging, always wanting sex as well..
I'm rambling, but just wondered if anyone else has gone through this, and do the hormones calm down after a bit?

Hey, @Babbs. Good to see you. I've been wondering where you were.

Yup, completely understand. Took all my pics down and minimized my profile because I'm checking in periodically only to see a few people's posts (you know who you are) and check out anything new in the veterans forums. Seems most of these newbies have everything handled and don't need our help. I sure needed and appreciated yours when I was new!
Oh well. I'll go on living my life as a normal sized person because I loved and took to heart all the advice I got from veterans on this forum. Still will to maintain it, too.

Someone ate bacon a week post op?????

We don't always see eye to eye, but I agree. This is EXACTLY why we need a VET forum that is actually restricted to vets.
You know you were invited elsewhere. You are still welcome.

So it's very obvious the new newbies want nothing to do with hearing what successful WLS patients have to say. The recent debate over the the eating bacon 1 week postop makes it perfectly clear that what they want is for someone to tell them it's OK to be stupid. They are not interested in listening to their surgeons or nuts or veterans. Self sabotage is the new fad and compliance is apparently out of style. I made the mistake of responding to the post when, as a veteran, I should have known better. Turns out I'm just a big meanie (no surprise there!) At this point it's 95% newbies posting on that thread who don't have a clue what the long term repercussions of eating off plan so soon will lead to. The blind leading the blind.
Oh well. It will be interesting to see the stats of successful EWL go down over the next few years as more and more unprepared, uncommitted people continue to have WLS. In the meantime, I'm outa here. The newbies won. As hard as it is to tear my eyes away from the car wreck, I just can't take anymore people that do stupid shit and then whine about getting their feelings hurt. Someone PM me when the grown ups start joining again.

I started as soon as I was cleared for exercise, maybe 250? I'm 5'6". Couch to 5k. Now 2.5 years later I've run two marathons and countless other races. I often win my age group!