Chrystee

The attention has been difficult.. Guys checking me out, very visibly.. making comments, etc.
at the same time, I love it. I looooove attention, then when its been awhile, I start craving it.
The other hard thing for me is trying to keep myself out of trouble with my marriage..

so interesting.. My husband preferred me prior..

Has anyone gone through an identity crisis after WLS? I feel overall happier than before, but I don't know if its culmination of my age (36) and the weight loss, but I feel like I'm going through a bit of an identity or mid life crisis? I'm glad my husband is giving me a little leeway, and we are having fun "discovering" things together.. but then I feel a little depressed lately too.. my whole identity is changing.. People call me beautiful, gorgeous, a MILF.. and I'm just not used to these things.. they seem so foreign.
When I was over 250-300 pounds, people mostly ignored me.. no one looked in my eyes.. people were barely friendly.. my husband agrees that my personality hasn't changed that much.. but just the outside me.. I also discovered changes in my sexuality, that I had no idea existed. I went from 0 sex drive, to 150 MPH, raging, always wanting sex as well..
I'm rambling, but just wondered if anyone else has gone through this, and do the hormones calm down after a bit?

New update.. 131 pounds down.

Has anyone gone through an identity crisis after WLS? I feel overall happier than before, but I don't know if its culmination of my age (36) and the weight loss, but I feel like I'm going through a bit of an identity or mid life crisis? I'm glad my husband is giving me a little leeway, and we are having fun "discovering" things together.. but then I feel a little depressed lately too.. my whole identity is changing.. People call me beautiful, gorgeous, a MILF.. and I'm just not used to these things.. they seem so foreign.
When I was over 250-300 pounds, people mostly ignored me.. no one looked in my eyes.. people were barely friendly.. my husband agrees that my personality hasn't changed that much.. but just the outside me.. I also discovered changes in my sexuality, that I had no idea existed. I went from 0 sex drive, to 150 MPH, raging, always wanting sex as well..
I'm rambling, but just wondered if anyone else has gone through this, and do the hormones calm down after a bit?

The attention has been difficult.. Guys checking me out, very visibly.. making comments, etc.
at the same time, I love it. I looooove attention, then when its been awhile, I start craving it.
The other hard thing for me is trying to keep myself out of trouble with my marriage..

YES! One thing I WISH I would have had prior to surgery was self love. I hated myself, and it showed. Keep loving yourself.

Yea, we go out to eat frequently also. I make my own choices. I can find healthy foods.

You gotta give him a little slack.. You made a huge change, not him. Try to give him a little leeway..

Yea, we go out to eat frequently also. I make my own choices. I can find healthy foods.

You gotta give him a little slack.. You made a huge change, not him. Try to give him a little leeway..

Do me a favor???
Please reread your above post. In fact, please read it several times. Please
Now:
Wow! Your life together as you both have grown to know it has changed---really changed, hasn't it? The changes are a great deal--for the both of you.
You commented in a further post that you are really "not being controlling". Aren't you, my friend, just a wee bit? I realize that you just had WLS and know what you have to do to be successful. Try to keep in mind that hubby did not have the surgery (because maybe YOU didn't think it was best for him), and maybe he is not ready to have you make all the changes in your lives that you are.
Talk to him! Talk and talk and talk and when all is said and done--talk some more.
HOWEVER, when HE is talking you need to LISTEN---not just be preparing your next come back. Look at him and LISTEN, then take a deep breath before you answer.
I apologize if I have offended you in any way, but what I have said comes straight from my heart. I took peoples' advice to "just go ahead --he'll come around". He didn't. He committed suicide while I was having my WLS. I wish to God that someone had told me to take the time to talk and LISTEN.
Right now, you're so involved with your WLS journey (rightfully so) that hubby is floundering about "what happened to our "together" life". IMO
Maybe a therapist to help you BOTH communicate open and honestly would be a great gift to give to your marriage. Separately and together.
Please, take the time. Your life together may very well depend upon it.
Just a suggestion. I hope you can receive my words in the same spirit in which they are given--with compassion, empathy and true concern.
I wish you the very best, my friend.

@@hbrhonda WLS would not be advisable for only 40lbs to lose. Maybe you can add some physical activity to your time together - that will benefit you both. You can go out - just both choose healthy options. Change is difficult but not insurmountable.

You gotta give him a little slack.. You made a huge change, not him. Try to give him a little leeway..

You gotta give him a little slack.. You made a huge change, not him. Try to give him a little leeway..

You gotta give him a little slack.. You made a huge change, not him. Try to give him a little leeway..

You gotta give him a little slack.. You made a huge change, not him. Try to give him a little leeway..

I don't even know where to begin. My husband is not being supportive. He is grieving the loss of my stomach. He feels like our life as we knew it has ended. Apparently, we ate out a lot and drank a lot, so now he feels we have NOTHING to do. We sit and watch TV thats basically it. Every time I suggest something he shoots it down. Its making me crazy. We have been fighting non-stop all week and I see no end to his issues. I dont know if he is jealous, fearful or is just being selfish.
1) He is upset that I dont cook. I made spaghetti and BBQ chicken this week which I ate none of. There were plenty of leftovers.
2) I have been out to dinner with him 3 times since surgery and I watched him eat <BORING>
3) Last summer we did concert in the park and brought a picnic and wine. This time I packed the picnic minus the wine and he just sat there and stared off into space and played on his phone the entire concert. I felt so lonely.
4) He wants to go to Vegas next week and I hate to be a downer but realistically that means buffets, drinking & wasting money. We used to frequent Vegas a lot so now I am wondering. Did our life change too much?
So basically what I am asking. What do couples do if they are not going out to dinner or drinking?

Yes indeed!
❤️
These pictures are so awesome...going to love them even after the weight comes off. So much joy.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Am very active as a rule; especially Water sports. My whole life I've spent covered up in a full one-piece with board shorts and a long-sleeved rash guard before hitting the waves, but...
Part of the pre-op courses stress the importance of loving the body we are in now, or else we risk not loving the post-op body later. Decided to finally take on my personal leap of bravery challenge yesterday and hit the Water in a two-piece with the only coverup being sunscreen in my 335.0 pound body.
It was AWESOME.
I know plenty of people disagree with the sentiments here, but have to say—when I look back on this photo in a year, I will smile remembering the exact moment I embraced my life and stepped over the threshold.
Body love is caring enough to take responsibility for your health. Body positivity is loving yourself at all of the stages.
The BF took this amazing picture.
Don't care how much I weigh now, everything about this picture is "Me," and totally perfect.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

My father-in-law has no filter, and I never told him that I had WLS. After the initial shock, I just smiled and said "I'm sure I won't need them"

so interesting.. My husband preferred me prior..

The attention has been difficult.. Guys checking me out, very visibly.. making comments, etc.
at the same time, I love it. I looooove attention, then when its been awhile, I start craving it.
The other hard thing for me is trying to keep myself out of trouble with my marriage..

Do you ever have that moment of clarity where you step back and wonder "what the hell did I just do?". I had that moment and came to rant about it.
I had sleeve surgery on June 1st and since then:
- My clothes don't fit anymore. I went to wear my favorite shirt yesterday and it was TOO BIG!!!
- People keep telling me I'm looking great. The nerve of some people!
- I don't snore anymore. How am I supposed to annoy my wife while I'm asleep??
- I'm wearing size 38 pants now. I wore those in HIGH SCHOOL! I'm basically a high schooler now!!!
- My gentleman's sausage looks twice as big now. That's like twice as much to disappoint my wife!
- I don't sweat anymore. It is the middle of summer and I don't sweat even when I work out.
- My feet never hurt anymore. I used to have terrible foot pain and it is GONE!
I think I need to go sit in a quite place for a while and relax now.

so interesting.. My husband preferred me prior..