YellowWallpaper

So, I'm about 6 weeks pre-op right now, and everything surrounding this surgery is causing my PTSD (previously well-controlled with a low-dose anti-depressant and living a peaceful, conflict-free life with a wonderful, caring husband) to flare like crazy. I know that my food issues and weight issues are deeply related to my childhood physical and sexual abuse. Ever since I got my insurance approval and surgery date, I've been having horrific nightmares, experiencing brutal anxiety, physical symptoms of stress (pulled muscles, night sweats, swollen legs, heart palpitations, insomnia, etc). I think it's the physical intrusiveness of this process that is freaking out my subconscious...feeling like I am no longer in control of what happens to me physically; the surgeon and his staff are. They tell me what to eat, that I have to wear a CPAP, that I have to stop smoking, etc. What really sucks is that I KNOW if I cancel the surgery, all of this terrible anxiety will melt away in a heartbeat. But then, after that, I'll still be a morbidly obese smoker who can't live the life she wants because of her weight. I don't have any profound conclusions to draw about any of this, I just wanted to reach out and see if there are any other members here who have experienced anything similar.

@@bobbyswife, I'm so glad to hear the sleeve surgery was easier than a tonsillectomy! I had my tonsils out as an adult (my only other experience with surgery and I'm 45 years old) and it was horrific. Seriously awful. I was very thin back then and with all my complications, including a life-threatening hemorrhage, by the end of it all I was down to 82 lbs. My post-op pain was seriously under-treated, but of course I couldn't talk or even whimper, so I remember just flapping my hands desperately, trying to let someone know I was in agony. Ugh. Your post has given me hope that sleeve surgery won't be nearly as traumatic.

@@Miss Mac, wow. Thank you. I have a longer response (and more gratitude!) but I have to run out right now. Your response left me in tears. I read it to my husband and I think he even got a little misty. You are awesome. More later...

My god. Seriously, you guys, this kind of treatment from your surgeon and his office staff is NOT OK. I'm so sorry you are all going through this. This whole process is hard enough without being treated like a naughty child, having your time devalued, and being ridiculed. I'm really pissed off on your behalf, all of you who are being treated like this. You are adults with legitimate HEALTH issues, and are being responsible enough to address those issues. You are PAYING these people, you are the customer and should be treated with respect at all times. I'm so sorry; I just don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes.

I was on vacation, an eco-tour in a third-world country in Central America, in a very remote area. I was at a local restaurant, and completely didn't see a set of granite stairs, fell down them, and landed like a sack of concrete after hitting three jutting granite shelves on the way down. I sustained several horrific injuries including a severe concussion, sinus hematoma, broken tibia, two sprained ankles, a sprained arm, and an internal muscle bleed that almost made me lose my leg. I ended up in a horrific third-world hospital and then over the next 72 hours made my way home (3 flights) with all these untreated injuries and NO painkillers. I went straight from my local airport to the ER and was then put on bed rest for 4 months. Prior to the fall, I had lost 35 lbs and was feeling great. During bed rest I regained that 35 and another 15, due to both the medications and not being able to move. I knew, 100%, that my fall 1) could've been fatal if I had fallen even 1/2" differently and 2) wouldn't have been nearly as bad if I did not weigh as much as I did. I never want to be in that position again. I want to be able to travel and be healthy. And while the kind of traveling I want to do will always involve risk, I want my mitigate my risk as much as possible. My surgery is scheduled for early February.

Welome new folks! I finally have insurance approval and a surgery date (early Feb). That was a long slog, to get through all the testing and meetings and appointments. I'm actually really glad my date isn't until Feb; now I can enjoy the holidays with family and friends and not start thinking about planning for surgery (I'm a planner - my whiteboard will be involved lol) until the new year. It's been so much of my focus for so long now (since August), it'll be nice to focus on normal stuff for a few weeks. Right now I'm wondering if I should buy or rent a recliner for post-op. Buying seems excessive (recliner won't fit my decor at ALL) but I dunno...does anyone know of a place where I can rent one locally?

Yep, second week in February for me. So excited!!

@@Lndrn723, how long was it from your insurance approval to your surgery date?

See, this is one of the reasons I left the BuffGen program. They act as if meeting the almighty surgeon is like meeting God himself. I wanted to meet my surgeon immediately, and I found a program where the surgeon spent 90 minutes with me answering every single one of my questions before I did a single pre-op test. Regarding the sleep study: you WILL be diagnosed with sleep apnea. Everyone is. I had to do the sleep study and was called back and told I needed the second (titration) study because of the results of my first study. When I went in for my second study, I asked to see the results of my first study (had to ask several times) and was amazed to see under "Number of Apneas" a big fat ZERO. Zero apneas of any kind. A few mild hypopneas (shallow breathing, no obstruction of airway), which according to my research is just normal breathing in sleep. And yet still - surprise! - I allegedly need a CPAP. For what? Ridiculous. Insurance companies are starting to question the veracity of all these apnea diagnoses, which have been a massive money-maker for sleep labs. I think they have made millions by pathologizing something everyone does, which is sleep. I do believe that some people legitimately have serious sleep apnea, but nowhere near in the numbers who are diagnosed by these sleep labs (something like 99% positive diagnoses). OK, rant over, lol. Quit smoking and feeling a wee bit testy.

OK, so I'm pretty chill with all the major life changes the surgery will bring. I'm struggling a little, emotionally, with all the pre-op medical testing and so forth (for some reason, in my mind this has begun to feel like I am being punished for something, rather than a choice I am making of my own free will), but the Big Scary Thing for me is that I have to quit smoking. Like, yesterday. I haven't made a serious attempt at quitting smoking in 20 years. In the last two weeks, I've tried and failed twice. This coming Monday is my "Hail Mary" day; the day I HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO quit if I want this surgery and don't want to go into it a liar and put myself at risk. I feel like I have so many issues surrounding smoking being a big part of my identity, being my main stress-reliever, the way I count time ("once I finish this project I can have a cigarette," "one more cigarette and I'll start a load of laundry,") my reward system, my motivation, my relaxation, etc. etc. I started smoking when I was like eleven years old. How the hell am I going to do this? I would LOVE to hear from anyone who was or is in the same boat - having to quit smoking to do this surgery. Being committed to quitting but simultaneously terrified of it. Two more days to smoke....

I just got my EGD results in the mail from my gastroenterologist. Under "Biopsies of esophagus" it says "mild chronic inflammation." Is this going to stop me from having surgery? Has anyone else had this EGD result? I am on OTC prilosec daily and have been for about 2 years. It works perfectly. I'm actually shaking right now I'm so upset and worried.

Thanks @@della street. I called my surgeon's office and spoke to the office manager (who also runs the support groups and seminars and is a few years post-op sleeved herself). She said she has never heard of that result precluding surgery but stressed that she is not a doctor or PA so cannot give me a definite answer. Actually, now that I think about it, it was unclear whether she had just never heard of that EGD result, or never heard of it precluding surgery. Hm. Anyway, she said the surgeon or PA will look at the results and call me either today or Monday. I have a bunch of pre-op appointments between now and Tuesday, so I hope I can get an answer sooner rather than later. I've calmed down a little (thanks again! ) but am still a bit worried.

@@shellyd88, I'm so sorry to have given you anxiety about the procedure! The ironic thing is, I had had an endoscopy before, in 2013, as standard test before being put on PPI meds for acid reflux. THAT endoscopy was *nothing.* Like, seriously, completely unremarkable, no waking up during procedure, no pain afterwards, etc. I think that is how most people experience it. The fact that my second one, last week, went so bad, was an aberration. I seriously would not worry if I were you - "conscious sedation" simply means that you will not be under general anesthesia, not need to be intubated, etc. You WILL be asleep. They should give you fentanyl/versed, or some places use Propofol. Even with the waking up during the procedure (which is, I suspect, why my throat still aches and feels "off" somehow), I immediately was put back under (my sister the RN says they probably gave me more versed in my IV right away) and then had amnesia for about 6-8 hours afterward. I was awake and talking, but didn't remember a darn thing the next day. Oh and as to your last question - I did not have my EGD at a hospital; I already have a gastroenterologist in private practice who has an endoscopy clinic so I just went to him. Honestly, even with the trauma of waking up mid-procedure and the continuing throat pain, I would still rather have 10 more EGDs than do even one more sleep study. And yet, off I go to do another freaking sleep study. I'm just trying to keep my eyes on the prize, but it IS frustrating.

Yep, the pre-op requirements for this surgery are exhausting. I feel like all I do is schedule appointments and have medical professionals poking and prodding and weighing and measuring me. I feel like a lab rat! And just when you think you are making solid progress, a complication pops up. I had my sleep study, at which they told me if I *didn't* hear from them in one week, I was in the clear. Ten days later, they called and said I need to go back and do a titration study. Had my EGD last week and that was fine, but I'm still in significant pain from it, which sucks. I woke up in the middle of it choking and gagging. I hope this is all worth it in the end, because at this point it seems like it has taken over my life.

Good luck twirlyhead! I'm with Dr. Pham as well. Love that guy and trust him completely. May I ask how long it was between your first consultation and your surgery date? Please come back and update us here in Buffalo after your surgery. You must be so excited!

I agree with everything moonlitestarbrite wrote, with one tiny change: She hounds you because she's a bully. The fact that you engage gratifies and encourages what is her already manifest character flaw. I think it's an important distinction, so we don't inadvertently veer into victim-blaming (which CLEARLY moonlitestarbrite didn't intend). Can you turn it around on her and make it about her every.single.time. she gets pushy about your personal info? It's a trick a like to employ with tactless and pushy people, unsolicited opinion-offerers, etc. Takes some practice to employ it subtly, but it's really fun to watch them not understand how suddenly this conversation became about them.

Hey guys…Buffalonian here. I have my first surgeon appt at the end of September. Hoping to schedule surgery early in the new year (of course, I'd have it tomorrow if it were up to me). I've completed the psych eval, had to procure a new PCP, and now it's just waiting for my first appointment so I can start all the other prep.