The Candidate

I'm so sorry you are suffering these terrible complications. I hope things turn around soon for the better and your doctors are able to help you.

It's reassuring to know that you can go on vacation and still have fun post op. You did an excellent job of working your restrictions into the trip without focusing on the stuff others can eat, but you shouldn't. I hope to follow your excellent example when it's my turn. Thanks for sharing!

Congratulations on your successful surgery, and I'm so glad you're feeling well!

Excellent mindset! You're going to do great. Keep up the good work!

Awesome @@EnglishDan!

That's one of the most incredible transformations I've ever seen. You not only lost a lot of weight, but you also lost about 15 years! Really amazing before and after pics! Congrats!

I hope you feel better. But if you're still at an 8 or 9 level after awhile please consider going to the ER. Good luck!

To clarify your symptoms a bit better, instead of saying you feel like you're being kicked by 10 men, which in my book would be on the same level as very extreme pain, what is your pain level on a scale from 1 to 10? 1 being the least and 10 being the worst?

I think you feeling as though you haven't changed on the inside might not be altogether true. You may just not be totally aware of it yet. I'm pre op, so I'm not where you are now, but I have lost significant weight (and then regained it) over the years. So I know of the unsolicited attention you speak of. I also know that as an obese person, there are things I do out of habit that unless I really concentrate, I'm not always conscious of doing at the time. For instance, I work in an office, on an upper floor that is a cubicle jungle. The nuts and bolts of the cubicles, the hardware, tends to shake and make noise whenever someone walks by heavily, or in my case, is a heavy walker. But I know that the little petite ones can jog by and it's as quiet as a mouse. I can just meander by, and people wonder if we're having an earthquake. I'm serious. It's happened. And I'm also in CA so, as every disaster movie for the last 20 years has shown, we're in danger of falling off into the sea at any moment, when the next big quake hits. So we're always on edge for quakes. ???? Sometimes if I see that there's a big group of people heading towards the elevator ahead of me, I'll lag behind, or maybe duck in the bathroom, because I know if I'm the last one in and it lurches for any reason, they'll be looking at me as the cause. I live in mortal fear of fire drills because of the long stairway exit. If for some reason I find out ahead of time when one is planned, I'll find a way to be out of the office. I try and control my breath when I'm walking to the parking garage, or even look out the window beforehand to see if the coast is clear, so I don't sound like I'm having a heart attack to people passing me by, as I tend to get out of breath and gasp loudly. Your attire changes when you lose a lot of weight. You start going sleeveless. The hems get higher and the cleavage gets lower. You might start wearing high heels and your outfits are certainly more form fitting. You have a kick in your step that wasn't there before. You're glowing. You're happier and more self assured. Those kind of signals are hard to miss. You're advertising a radical change even if you're not aware of it. These are the unspoken signs those around you are picking up on. It's not completely that they purposely ignored you before when you were fat, and suddenly decide to notice you now that you're thin. Although that definitely does happen. But sometimes it's partly because you were hiding yourself before, camouflaging the real you because it's a natural response to negative reinforcement. The pitying stares, the taunts, and sad to say, in some cases outright cruelty. So a portion of the attention you're getting now might simply be in response to subtle changes in your own behavior that you might not even be aware you're broadcasting. You're a flower that's been lingering in the shade for far too long. You can't help but reach out for the sun now, and that's definitely going to get noticed. I think it's great! I can't wait to join you!

I agree go to the ER. A pain that feels like you're being kicked by 10 men is nothing to fool around with. Don't take any chances with your health. Let us know you're okay.

@@Inner Surfer Girl I agree with what you're saying in part. Insurance in relation to weight loss surgery definitely needs a total rehaul. In my "track" composed of the people I was grouped with also seeking surgery, for six months of classes, I personally know of two who ran into insurance firewalls even "after" having jumped through all of their mandated hoops. One was laid off a week after graduating and lost her coverage. The other was told in JULY just before she was to get her date, that her husband hadn't worked enough hours in May & June to cover the premiums, so her insurance was deemed inactive. During class one gentlemen had to drop out because his company was changing insurance. And another had to postpone hers because she couldn't arrange time off for the endless pre op appts and surgery recovery time. In a very real sense they're hoping to wait us out. Make us give up before we ever even make it to the OR. We, the obese, aren't treated as second class citizens. We're treated as disgusting blights on society. That premise is what has to change first. When I was growing up, smoking was still in fashion. They unabashedly showed cigarette commercials on TV, and they were even sold openly in vending machines. It took decades before worldwide change came about, when lung cancer was undeniably linked with tobacco use. Initially there was a lot of push back though. Change never happens without a fight, without sacrifice, especially when bottom line profit and big money is involved. It took a very long time before big corporate tobacco was made to bear the brunt of blame and reform. Only then did things start to noticeably change. Well the same thing is happening now, with the so called "obesity epidemic." And in the exact fashion that tobacco head honchos tried to shift the blame to the smoker, saying their product wasn't addictive, today, fast food, sugar additives, and the like, along with the diet industry would rather zero in entirely on the fat person for being fat, as opposed to accepting any part of the blame themselves. They produce addictive products that are scientifically proven to cause weight gain. Then they price it low enough to keep you coming back for more. And after you're completely hooked, then they try and sell you a cure all in the form of Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. It's the very definition of an endless cycle. I'm not saying that everyone's obesity is solely caused by junk food, as we know better. Genetics is a major factor as well, among others. But it being our fault entirely is the prevalent outside notion, isn't it? If we'd all just eat less and exercise more we'd all be thin right? Well, that's the misconception that has to be changed first, before we'll ever have widespread reform on more easily obtaining WLS. If WE, the obese are entirely at fault, than why should other people, thin people, have to put their insurance or tax dollars towards our fat? Personally, I think we need more and more obese people to come out of the shadows and demand WLS, not less. We need more medical studies done showing the medicinal cost savings between patient care pre and post op surgery too. In the same way that all those who began the process before us, by first seeking out a surgical option, who underwent the experimental procedures in the past with less than desirable results - we have to keep it alive too. In this forum and in other places. Only then will the proof that the demand far exceeds the supply of knowledgable surgeons and center of excellence facilities. Only then will real changes begin to be made. Our surgical wait time today can be measured in long arduous months, sometimes years, before we ever even get a bypass, sleeve, band, or whichever procedure chosen. But the fact that the numbers, the obese people, who are seeking it out are growing exponentially gives me infinite hope that those who will come after us will benefit from what we've done today to further promote the monumental need.

@@Babbs Thank you! I've enjoyed your posts too. You've taught me a lot over these many months, and I've really enjoyed this forum while I've been going through the long approval process! My surgery will be on Wednesday, 07/29, and I can't wait! I'll be having the bypass.

I'm still pre op so I feel a little left out ????. But I'm going to play anyway. ???? I've lost my feeling of being the odd man out, as I'm the only obese person in my immediate family. I'm steadily losing my cloak of invisibility as my surgery date draws near, and I find myself withdrawing more and more from the shadows each day to live in the sun. I've lost my desire to try out all the latest fad diet gimmicks. I've lost the belief that since I've been fat most of my life there was just no way out. And on the flip side: I've gained a whole bunch of new real life and forum brothers and sisters to share my wls journey with me. I've gained a true appreciation for words like "hope" "patience" and "perseverance." I've gained the understanding that you're never too old, too fat, or too overridden from comorbidities to have a second chance at life! Sorry to shanghai the topic, but I can never resist coloring outside the lines!

The proper mindset is the key to a successful outcome. Your time for surgery will be here before you know it. Good luck!

It's incredible how a single compliment can change your entire day for the better, and string together a few of them in a row and you have the makings of a milestone! Let me add my own to your growing collection - you look fabulous!

You look amazing! And you should feel immensely proud of the hard work and dedication you put in to get there. Pink is definitely your color too! Congrats, you are beautiful!

Keep up the great job! You're learning a whole new way of life, so one day at a time!

I don't have Cigna. I just wanted to say hang in there and don't lose faith. Appeal if you have to but never give up. Best of luck to you!

I'm so very sorry for your loss. There are no adequate words that I could share that would even touch the type of heartache you must be suffering. Grief is a lonely solitary and very painful journey. My only hope is that you come through it as quickly as possible. Your mom always put you first throughout your entire life. She wanted nothing more than your well being. The best way to honor her memory and love for you is by taking care of yourself. One day, one step, one second at a time. My deepest condolences.

Congrats on your approval!

It sounds like you've really got everything in hand already. You know exactly what to do and are doing it. Good for you! Don't beat yourself up for the periodic ups and downs. The occasional flutterings of doubts and fears. It's normal. And it's good that you are cognizant of the possible complications. You need to be. That's a healthy fear and its part of the process. Just keep plugging along as you have been, and you'll be fine!

To be scared of the unknown is to be human. Nothing you are feeling is out of the realm of understanding. I think it might help if you spent a lot of time researching. Go into over research mode if you have to. I certainly did! You can continue with the approval process while you're doing it, as it'll help pass the time too. Be sure that you seek out not only the good outcomes, but the not so good outcomes as well. Gotta get both sides of the equation. There's here, Obesity Help, Thinner Times, and YouTube has some really good videos of others who have been open enough to share their experiences with the world. Also seek out support groups in your area, find buddies who are going through the same thing. At the end of the day you have to make sure that all your questions and concerns are addressed to your satisfaction, before going through with the surgery. I honestly believe that the more confident you are with your decision pre op, the better off you will be post op. Good luck!

I've been keeping a video journal since day one. I've decided that I will leave the password to it in a secured envelope for them to access should something happen. The journal started as a way to chart my physical and emotional changes. But along the way I began explaining everything I was going through, what led to my decision, and how nothing could deter me from getting it done. And as I'm getting closer to my date I'm leaving personal messages as well. I not only want them to know I love them, but also why I started this journey to begin with. Not to mention the fact that it is very cathartic!

Congrats! Your birthday and rebirthday can now be celebrated together!

I'm so happy that more and more obese people are finding their way to surgery, and new hope!