The Candidate

I'll take "Mythological Creature Slang" for $1000, Alex." And the answer is: "Swollen Feet" (ding ding ding!) "What do you call a gathering of Big Foots after consuming a huge Thanksgiving dinner!"

Welcome! Your story is both heart-breaking and amazing. It is certainly a testament to your strong will and perseverance to survive. I am still pre-op myself and your journey gives me hope for my own WLS future. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your continued recovery!

Wonderful! Your hard work definitely shows!

I'm so sorry this happened to you and wish there was something magical I could say that would erase the memory for you. Just know that you have our support and good wishes. You can't cure this type of unfeeling, it's ingrained, but I for one believe in Karma. Someday this person will experience the same kind of pain that she inflicted on you. What goes around comes around. In the meantime I hope you're feeling a little better now. Don't spend another minute giving her a thought. She isn't worth it!

Love it! Love it! Thanks for sharing!

You might just as well be mad at the world for having unrealistic expectations of body image. Or mad at everyone on this site for being in the same boat and experiencing the same frustrations. You've tried and failed repeatedly to lose weight and maintain that loss on your own. The key word here being "tried". That's commendable, not shameful. Now if you'd never made any attempts to lose weight that might be grounds for self blame. But you have. We all have. It doesn't work, not long term, and that's been proven. We wouldn't be here if it weren't. I think your energies would be better spent focusing on the future, rather than dwelling on the past. It a no win situation when you start to travel down that road. Not to mention lonely as h*ll. If you really want to focus on "gaining" instead of weight, contemplate the gain of a new lease on life and health that WLS will bring. Good luck!

I can very much relate to your indecision. I'm currently going through my approval process with Kaiser. I started this journey nearly a full year ago. And I'm a little less than 3 weeks shy of completing my Options classes (6 months worth), with expectations of having surgery this summer. Last year, after extensive research, I went into this 100 percent sure I wanted the sleeve, but in the last couple of months that's changed. Now I'm 90 percent sure I want the bypass. I'm saving my final determination for when I finally get to my surgical consult in the next month or so. But the niggling doubt of whether I'm making the right choice either way, sometimes, keeps me up at night.

Every day behind you is another hurdle jumped. You're doing great!

What you have achieved is a shared dream of us all. Thanks for being our collective voice. You are beautiful!

You look amazing! Congratulations on your wonderful accomplishment.

Literally night and day! I would have taken bets that it was two different people. Congratulations!

Congratulations! Certainly a cause for celebration! Best of luck.

@@brittneywlsj Your requirements sound very much like mine. I'm Kaiser Southern CA (San Diego). My requirements are 6 months of classes (24 classes once a week) and we're supposed to lose 10 percent of our pre op weight. It's very strange how different the Kaiser requirements are as all other areas of Southern CA and all of Northern CA only require 12 weeks (from what I've heard). This week will be class #21 of 24 so I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but I can truthfully say the time has flown by. I started classes in November 2014 and will end in May 2015. Before class we had to attend two Kaiser seminars on weight mgmt and WLS. Our pre op labs consisted of blood draws, EKG, urinalysis, and H Pylori stool sample. Here the surgery is contracted out to Pacific Bariatric and the actual surgery is done at Scripps Mercy. We were also required to attend a seminar at Pacific Bariatric too. After graduation we'll be called for a stress test, and another blood draw. Then the final approval is given or denied. After approval Pacific Bariatric calls you for the 3 in 1 day appt (psych, internist, and surgical consult), and then you finally get your surgery date. I expect mine to be this summer. At the beginning we were told the whole process takes about 9 months and that's been pretty accurate. Good luck!

I am pre op, but can totally relate. In fact it's been on my mind a lot. I find myself more so than ever, taking mental notes of the negative way people are treating me, especially in the months before surgery. Having been overweight most of my life, I think I have become accustomed to being treated like a second class citizen. Although I'm still astounded at times, especially if I'm accompanied by someone of normal weight, how there are some people you encounter who have no qualms about blatantly ignoring you. To the point of not even making eye contact with you. It's why I joke sometimes that my secret super power is invisibility. But deep down it still hurts. That being said I am finding myself having conversations in my head, after the fact, acknowledging the person's slight, and saying mentally: "I will remember this and you, and I hope I encounter you again after I lose my weight." For me, I think it's partly because I want to know for sure if this person's treatment of me will change in any way after reaching goal. Was it simply because I was fat and then I can, if not dismiss the behavior, at least understand it, as a personality bias against all fat people. Or was it because this person just didn't like me personally, which would be fine. I've just because obsessed at having to know the difference, one way or another. It's probably not healthy, my need to know, but I will never understand how people can treat other people so dismissively, just on on the basis of looks. I too would never want to become involved with someone who judges so superficially. I see it in the same way that I could never date anyone who hunts, because of my love for animals. It's a deal breaker, plain and simple. Another puzzler for me is how someone could conceivably fall out of love, solely based on looks. These are just my opinions anyway.

Once, nearly 15 years ago now, I lost a huge amount of weight and got down to my lowest weight ever - 129 (I'm 5' 2"). But it was fleeting and gone before I ever really had a chance to enjoy it. Typically, I regained the weight plus more very quickly after reaching my goal. But I can remember faintly how great I felt, how amazing those size 6's felt, and all the other lost positives that went with it. So for me, I can imagine it very well, and sometimes I think it's worse, because it's a "me" I've been trying to revisit for over a decade now. I've missed her very much and I can't wait for our emotional reunion!

Welcome aboard and best of luck to you! You are in a wonderful place to learn so many things. I've been here since 08/2014 and am still awaiting surgery. The further along I get, the more positive my original decision to have surgery has become. Feel free to ask questions and post replies to your heart's content. You are home.

@@tlemieux220 you are a true inspiration to us all. Your story will remain in my heart for a very long time. Thank you for sharing. ????

I harbor no feelings of guilt as I can truthfully attest that I have tried every diet under the sun, exercised myself into the ground, and have lived under a self imposed umbrella of shame for the majority of my life, simply because I have failed to measure up to society's acceptable level of "beauty." Yet beauty isn't even even my end goal at this stage in my life, health is my holy grail. This past year while waiting for surgery, fulfilling every hurdle placed in front of me by my mandated insurance requirements, including losing 10 percent of my pre op weight and maintaining it for over six months, I have never worked harder in my life. I've been overweight since I was a child and I refuse to live in the shadows for one day longer. In answer to the question of "Did you take the easy way out?" I would answer: "I got to the finish line. Does it really matter what route I took to get there?" I know a lot of people who have had their surgery say their only regret is not having done it sooner. When I get there (I hope to have my surgery sometime this summer), I don't think I'll be concentrating on that. Instead I find myself, even now, just thanking my lucky stars that I live in a time where surgical technology has advanced to the point that I can even have it done! With the unbelievable bonus of having my insurance cover it. Does it get any better than that!

You look great @@Eli Alexander!

@@HighHeelShoes congratulations! The only feature recognizable between your before and after is your dazzling smile. You look fabulous and should be immensely proud!

That is definitely something to be excited about! Great job!

I updated my iPad and iPhone and so far they seem to be responding better. Thank you for the information!

You can't judge your progress too harshly when it's mired by grief. You need time to process your devastating loss. Now is not the time to be too hard on yourself. As someone who also lost her father suddenly and unexpectedly I can tell you it will get better, day by day. And I'm sure he was and will always be proud of you. Good luck.

Wow, simply amazing! Nothing is more inspiring than to witness another's success. You should be very proud! Thanks for sharing!

I've never had surgery in my life. But even if this was going to be my 100th I think I would still be scared. It's as much a part of the process as anything else so you're in very good company. Good luck!