phyllisc

I would ask for the box when they bring your meal. I would pack up whatever you do not think you will eat and set it aside. I try to order things that are on the soft side when I eat out. I like fish alot and I know I am less likely to have a problem with that. A chunky hearty soup, like some kind of chowder is a good idea too. The waiters are there to serve you so don't worry about what they think.

I like complements. I really like it when my husband says "I can tell your butt is getting smaller." He pays close attention to matters like that.

Susan, I can't believe you are not scraping raw eggs off of the front of your house today??????

Green, I have at least one more year to work and then I join the world of the freeeeeeeee. Can't wait.

Women just can't win on issues of weight. I couldn't believe it when Tyra Banks was being called porky. She is 5'11'' and weighs about 160. I thought she looked fabulous. Same with Britney Spears, she got crucified for being fat wearing that black two piece thingy. While I don't think that get-up was the most flattering thing, she hardly looked fat.

I really have a hard time getting up when it is still dark outside. So I will like that little extra hour of sleep in the morning we are going to get. My eyes refuse to open when it is still dark out. My husband has to yell at me abou 20 times before I finally relent. I also hate the fact that I will be driving home in the dark. My solution to the problem is retirement. Then I can sleep late and I won't be driving home from work at all.

"Yet others are hysterically spewing made up information at us that is just so flipping stupid that I cant resist. Phyllis, I am now never going to think of you as anything other than a defensive person who is intimidated by anyone who she thinks considers themselves superior." Gee, does this mean that you don't want to be my friend?

It's hard to believe that someone hasn't put him out of his misery. Then he will be attending a funeral where he belongs.

"I disagree with the past advice. Don't tell him you're flattered. Flattered?! Come on! Even "I'm flattered, but..." still says "I'm flattered." ARE you flattered? If not, then never say it. You cannot expect a behavior to change if you are inciting it, and telling him that his actions flatter you is definitely incitement." You are absolutly right. I guess I am just a product of my generation when we didn't have laws that were on our side and had to deal with situations on our own. Just putting a stop to it by whatever means that worked was the objective. Once the head of our department (back in the early 70's) grabbed my rear end and I just hauled off and slugged him. That put a stop to it.

I guess I would try to ignore it as much as possible, but if he persists, I would tell him that you are flattered but the circumstances are all wrong for anything other than a professional relationship. You shouldn't have to be burdened with this kind of tension at work. Persuing a case against someone for sexual harrassment is extremely stressful especially since you like your job and would like to keep it. Good luck and I hope that everything turns out in your favor.

I won't take it as an insult that you are calling me obtuse, because you come across as someone with tunnel vision. So perhaps that is just your narrow assessment based on your own bias. What I am trying to get across is that obese, fat, overweight, whatever you want to call it may not be unhealthy in some individuals. There is such a thing as waist to hip ratio that is considered a good indicator of potential health problems. A person who is considered obese according to those BMI charts that are refered to often in this post can be healthier and and fitter than someone of a "normal" BMI. I believe the op was trying to understand why someone would aim for a BMI that is not considered healthy according to those charts. I think many have offered their explanation as to why. So to oversimplify this whole issue based on BMI charts is very short sighted. I will not tell you to "bugger off" because that would be rude of me. I have nothing more to say on this issue.

"I am pretty sure if you consult a "calorie per hour per activity" calculator, it would show that running burns more calories per hour than walking." Chickie, I didn't say per hour, I said per mile.

Well I am just full of esoteric information. I read about it years ago when I was on a fitness kick. Because your foot has heal to toe contact with the ground, the calves are more efficient at pumping the blood to your heart. Sounds very plausable to me. With running you come down on the ball of your foot and spend more time in the air. The only advantage running offers is that it takes less time to get in a workout. Walking burns more fat per mile and there is much less chance of injury.

Alexandra, if people just dont want to push boundaries and aim high for themselves in all areas of their lives then I just have to accept that. I cannot pretend to understand that and I'm sorry but I cannot pretend to have a lot of admiration for it either, I just cannot. Whether its to do with weight or not, to me it is settling for mediocrity. I'd much rather try and fail than not try. We are all here and had surgery so the we could lose weight and get healthy. What you might consider mediocrity could be a total victory for someone else. I want to win the battle too, but I don't want to kill myself trying. It is possible that I could be healthier at a BMI of 35 than someone with a BMI of 25. When you speak in absolutes you can never be right about everyone. I am shooting for the 25 and will be more than ecstatic if I get there. But not every one is going to lose all of their excess weight no matter how much they try. My BMI was over 50 when I started and I had very few co morbities and I was 56 when I had the surgery. I have high blood pressure, but I will probably have that even when I get down to a "normal" weight. I know that it was just a matter of time before I developed more and more co morbidities. So it has has been mostly about vanity for me. I feel that I am trying even though I don't run or starve myself on a very low calorie diet. I don't count calories. I have never been a junk eater, so eating healthy is sort of second nature for me. I eat things that are not "diet food" but I am not willing to deprive myself to lose faster. I don't believe that fast weigh loss is healthy. I just started walking. By the way walking is healthier for your heart than running. When you foot strikes the pavement in a walking stride it pumps your blood to your heart and improves endurance strenthens your heart. When you run your foot doesn't get the same pumping action to your heart. But I have always hated running even when I was in top physical condition. It made me puke. What you seem to be saying is that if someone is not as successful as you have been, then they don't measure up. According to your theory everyone has to lose all of their excess weight to be successful. Is this what you are trying to convey? Folks like you who are succesful are an inspiration through just getting there. But why be so adamant that everyone has to do it your way?

I had a woman say something just like that to me once. But she was senile, so sometimes you just have to consider the source and not let it get to you. Sometimes people need to keep that foot they just put in their mouth there permanently. Good luck with your decision to move forward.

Hi Boo Boo, great costume!!! This is me in my true alter persona....Phyllis

Wasa, I am not passive aggressive. I say what I mean, but I am not mean. People make their own choice to push themselves as hard and as fast as they want. However, not everyone wants to push that hard and fast. I am a laid back person, I do things in a roundabout way. It works better for me that way. I admire people who can and do push themselves to achieve their goals. It is just not something that I want to do. But I am willing to take as long as it takes. I am not going to give up, but I am a turtle for many reasons so I am not going to make myself unhappy because I am not losing faster. I make comprimises, and I pay the consequenses and I enjoy all the little things along the way. I really do try to see things from every perspective and point of view. I don't like to see people put down or made to feel that they are not doing enough and frankly there is quite a bit of it in this post. I have nothing against thin people, fit people, beautiful people or any thing inbetween. I love beautiful people as a matter of fact, at least from an artistic point of view. I can not speak for anyone else but I am not jealous of anyone for any reason. I struggle with my own issues, such as food addiction!!!!! People who conquer those issues give me hope. I felt like some people who responded to this thread felt bad about some of the things said. I have a big mouth, I jump in and try to offer support when this happens.

Laurend, I believe you have taken what I said all wrong. Nowhere did I say or imply that anyone who wants to be a healthy BMI thinks they are better than anyone else and that they are never happy with the way they look. I hope to be one of those people myself one day.

Chickie, I don't think I used any word or words to imply that people who get down to a lower goal weight or want to get down to a lower goal weight are not happy with themselves or confident. What I am saying is that people should feel good about themselves period. There are people who are never going to be happy and will lack confidence no matter what. And just because someone can't or doesn't want to get to a lower goal weight, it does not mean that what they have going for them is any less than someone who does get to a lower goal weight. I just don't want to define myself by some number on a scale and I am sure that many others do not want to also. Personally, I am delighted and happy for people who reach their goals. I have goals myself, but in the meantime, I don't see any point in criticizing anyones goal no matter what it is. Health and beauty comes in all sizes. It is the attitude that a higher goal weight is somehow not as good or unacceptable that I object to.

Diva, I think some people just feel good about themselves and have a lot of confidence and don't need to over achieve or strive for some unattainable perfection. Attitude is everything and if you like the way you look it probably comes through and others will see you the same way. Screw them if they don't. Inner beauty and self confidence shines through. Likewise if you are unhappy with the way you look that is going to be reflected in your appearance also. There are women who will never be happy with the way they look, even though they may have what it takes physically, they just are not confident or happy with themselves. Self esteem does not always come with a slender fit body. Some people just have to keep pushing to prove to themselves that they are better, the best or superior to others. I think they sometimes do this by pointing out to others that they are somehow not up to snuff. Hell, I walk around like I am the hottest thing in town and it is only going to get better.

Wow Chelle, you are just too nice. Your co worker, what is he nuts??? Sounds like a con artist....All he would get from me is a dirty look. I help my kids out when they occasionally need it and no one else in my family has ever asked for anything. I have loaned people money, but only if I can afford to not get it back. If they don't pay it back, that is it, they had their one free loan. I just would not do it unless I wanted to. My kids are differnent, that's what moms are for. My Mother, of course, but anybody else, forgidabboudit. It is not that hard to say no, you are in control, you deserve to enjoy the fruits of your labor and those others don't.

Why is your opinion any more valid than theirs? And, again, one of them is a Nobel Laureate. They're not commonly what's considered "insane" or "crackpots". Nobel Laureate or not, advocating that it is alright to kill a living person at any age is stupid. Whether my opinion is valid or not in anyone elses opinion doesn't concern me. It is my opinion, I own it, I live it, and I don't apologize for it.

People are free to think whatever they want, but if they act on it then they might be spending the rest of their life in jail. Murder is against the law in this country and abortion is not. There is no explaining what some crackpot thinks about when it is ok to kill a born child. Even insane people are allowed to express an opinion.

She missed her chance about 58.5 years ago.

That's an astounding statement. Your decision determines when another person is a human being? What if you decide it's not a child when it's 3 months old? What if I decide you're not a human being right now and it's ok to enslave or kill you? No, my mother's decision determined that I would be a human being, so therefore you may not kill me or enslave me at any age after that decision was made by my mother.