SkinnyDown

I'm not even sure what this "Dexa" scan is, that you mentioned. @ OutsideMatchInside I do know this. I am tiny. I was meant to be tiny, that is completely visible to me even at 196 lbs, my wrists are so tiny that the bracelets I have, even adjustable with lobster clasps, I am putting on as tight at they will go, and they are still loose. I just feel like I was always meant to be a truly petite person. I'm only 5' 1", some people here are tall, and going to look completely "average/normal/thin" at a much higher weight. Some people even if short have a larger frame. I don't. I was quite surprised to find out just how tiny I am, under this fat, since I don't remember ever a time when I wasn't fat. I will naturally lose more weight after belly and thigh loose skin is removed. I have been overweight from age 5 and progressed to super morbidly obese by the time I reached college. That's 45 years, of stretched skin, so they have quite a lot to remove. Perhaps I will have a better idea after that, and know the right weight for me. Maybe my surgeon knows I'll lose 25 lbs in skin. I really don't know how much skin-weight people lose. I have quite an extensive large hanging belly and thighs which look like they are melting over my knees at this point. Thank goodness for good supportive leggings, they are somewhat forgiving. lol 149lbs gone, and 46 more lbs to go! I think I will know better after all that, what a good weight for me will be.

I set up a goal weight reluctantly with my surgeon at my consult, and at the time of course he used that BMI chart to show me how horribly unhealthy I was, but when it came time to set a goal weight he tossed the BMI chart out the window. That made no sense to me. I'm short, 5' 1" and he actually set the goal at 150, (which is overweight) I'm 47 lbs away from that goal, but I want to be smaller. At 150 we can talk plastics, and my insurance should cover belly and thighs, not sure how much I will lose from that. At my height, I should weigh about 100-130 to be in the "healthy" category. My surgeon said he never wanted to see me below 125, I have no idea why. I will meet his goal, have the plastics, see where I am, and shoot for my own personal goal which is 115. which is right in the middle of "healthy" for my height. The problem is they can't use their special BMI chart for one purpose and not another. That's where I have issues. I'm using their same chart that told me I was super morbidly obese, to find out what healthy is.

I had it, and it was terrible! I saw my podiatrist, and she said buy a pair of Crocs. I did, and I haven't had a problem since, that was 5 or 6 years ago. The key is to get them on your feet before your feet actually hit the floor and you stand up, and to wear them all the time when walking. There are plenty of styles, I wear the clog style a lot, around the house it's easy. I used to wear slippers or go bare footed, around the house. That is what caused the Plantar Fasciitis, she said. I can wear regular shoes when out, at this point, and that doesn't seem to bother me at all. I've also done the frozen Water bottle to help with swelling, but as soon as I started to wear the Crocs my foot got so much better, and it fully healed! I tried expensive sneakers, with inserts, no luck at all. Ohh....real Crocs, not the cheap knock-offs. I still always wear Crocs when I am at home. From the moment I get up!

I'm 5' 1" I'm not done losing, but I have progress pics in my gallery. If you look at my profile, click on "gallery". There is a collage I made from the day of surgery May 20, 2015 to March 4th 2016, (9.5 month mark), and I am down another 10 lbs. since that last pic. (March 4, 2016) Yes, I have thigh gap. I have no idea where that came from or why, but it's there. craziest thing. Of course It looks like the rest of my thighs are melting over my knees at this point, the loose skin is unbelievable. My starting weight was 345lbs, and my surgeons goal is 150 lbs, then we'll talk plastics, and eventually I would like to be 115-120 or so. That same chart that they used to tell me I was 'super morbidly obese' is the same chart I am looking at that tells me I should weigh about 115 lbs. for my height. My surgeon says he never wants to see me under 125. *shrugs*

I wish I knew. I take Biotin every day, and I've lost at least 2/3 of my hair volume, and I can't leave the house without a wig on now. I have 6 wigs at this point, so I do enjoy changing up my hairstyles and colors all the time. I'm getting new hair growth, and at 10 months the hair loss is slowing down, but it has left not just extremely thin hair, but bald spots and my hair is completely coarse even the new hair growth is. The promising thing is that there is new hair growth, and I know it will take time to completely grow out, but hopefully at some point I have fairly good hair again. To be fair, I already had thin hair, due to poly cystic ovarian disorder. But this is just beyond my comfort zone of being seen in public like that. I wish I had better news to report on this topic, but it is what it is. There are always consequences it seems to everything in life. It's also destroyed my once beautiful nails. They were so long, healthy, and strong, and now, they are so weak and just bend and have all broken off. I was warned about these things though, before surgery. It will be interesting to see what others are doing, and if anyone else has lost enough hair to warrant wearing a wig, now. I still wouldn't change a thing. Wigs and artificial nails are there for a reason.

I wanted to say it here. Over 30 years ago I graduated from High School. I weighed 199lbs. That was the last time I saw the 100's. Until today. I stepped on the scale and there it was....199 lbs. I cried....tears of happiness, and relief, because that damn scale messed with me for days at 200lbs. and some odd ounces. LOL I just really wanted to share this with everyone. Even if nobody responds. I'm so amazed at what I have done, so far. My progress pictures are in my gallery. 146 lbs gone. 49 to go!

Thanks everyone! That was so nice you took a moment to congratulate me! Feels so good!! I don't even remember being at what I set my goal weight. (150) The smallest I remember is 179 in 7th grade. I'm probably looking at my 5th grade weight! lol I actually want to lose more, as I'm really short. My surgeon wasn't having it. He said he never wants to see me below 125. The BMI chart he referred to, to show me how big I was, is the same one I am looking at that is telling me that I should weigh between 113-120 lbs. *shrugs* I know this, ...something I never ever realized before, I was meant to be tiny. You should see my wrists! I had no idea.

@@crazygoose You really got this if you want it. Trust me, it's so worth it, even 49 lbs away from my goal, I can tell you I am a NEW human being. You just have to get your head in the right place, and realize food....is for nourishment, make it nothing, because it is, nothing. You know what I'm a little bit addicted to now? Window shopping. I never ever ...I mean that, EVER thought I would care about fashion this much, but you know what, I DO! Not anyone else's style but my own, and what I want to wear, but I'm getting close to that point, that I can start wearing the things I really really want to. That I have always wanted to, but they didn't look right on such a big body. I'm addicted to following this program. Eating what I should, doing what I'm supposed to, writing down EVERYTHING I put into my mouth. Not bringing crap into the house anymore. I stay away from those isles in the grocery store. I literally made a decision to live. You look young, the ONLY regret I have is that I didn't get my head together sooner, and do this 25 years ago! I'm addicted to being accountable and responsible for me, now. I am pulling for you, and want you to succeed so much! Just get your head there, and get determined, and you can do this. You can! I wish you every good thought and luck.

It sounds like you got this, to me! You're focused I'm sure, you know what's ahead. I get quiet a few days before all my surgeries, and I've had 5 just in the past 4 years. 3 of them, major surgeries. I get quiet, because I start focusing on being on the other side of the fence. Maybe it's some kind of psychological mind trick, but it helps me if I am getting too fearful. You sound so prepared for this, I congratulate you for that kind of prep. Well done! Good luck with everything!

I think it really depends on the person, and how the surgery went. I needed more help after my gastric bypass (laparoscopic), than I did with my most recent surgery which was an open surgery. Maybe the lower weight now, has helped me to be able to do more for myself. You know yourself, but one thing I do completely agree with, is that I couldn't wait to get back to my own bed, and I slept and slept and slept. Unlike the entire week I was in the hospital with my gastric bypass.

I'm so sorry you had to hear that from a friend who you supported in the same situation. Luckily so far, the few friends I have shared that I had surgery with, have been very supportive. I have a lot of friends I went to college with, that have no clue, as I did not tell them, and they live all over the country. I don't plan on the big reveal, until I have met goal, and had the plastics my insurance will cover. Then I'll let the world know. Honestly the harshest and most hurtful comments have come from my 2 younger sisters. I now hear things like... "What are you going to do with all the wrinkles that will appear on your face, when you lose?" (although I don't see any more wrinkles now than I did 145 lbs ago) and "what are you going to do with that big deflated skin flap where your double chin was." (that one was true, it's there. I do exercises to try to help strengthen muscles in the area, it's about all I can do) They both know my insurance won't pay for that kind of cosmetic surgery, and I can't afford face surgery on my own. Why they would even say those things to me, is mean in my opinion. At first they were supportive and the more I lose, the more biting the remarks get. One sister is average sized, and always has been, and the other fluctuates, and is big right now. She cuts me off everytime I want to talk about my progress. I guess it's just a reminder to her that she's ate her way back to almost bigger than me at this point. I can't help that, but I was hoping for more support. We just have to keep doing what we are doing, and know envy and jealousy are things you will come across. My thought would be if you confront her, is remind her how supportive you were of her and her surgery. Yet again, this supports my argument, they just don't give enough help with food addiction issues in these bariatric programs.

I think it's good you are questioning if you are ready for surgery. I say that, because I think some people go into this unprepared. I see it all the time here, head hunger. I can safely assure you even though many don't admit it, if we're to the point of having surgery. We have food addiction issues. I took a year, before surgery and got into intensive therapy. Because I am a food addict. That's how I got to 345lbs. I weighed more than that in my life too. I am just like any other addict. (I am disabled, so I don't drive, and rely on others to take me shopping) I hid my consumption from others, even the food I was buying in my cart. I lied to people about what I was eating. Or that I was making food for others, and it was really all for me. Whole batches of cupcakes and pans of Enchiladas or enough donuts, chips and Snacks to kill an elephant loaded in my cart, was explained away as food for an upcoming party. I started panicking when I was getting low on my favorite foods. I, an out of control diabetic, was eating extremely carb heavy meals, topped off with 3 cupcakes and big glass of milk, and would sit on the sofa....and start nodding out like a heroin addict. I'd sleep for hours, wake, repeat. That was my life. Trust me, I am so aware I could fall off that wagon at any time. Emotional upsets tend to set me off...but, with the help of my therapist who I still see, twice a month, helped me find other things to replace that good feeling I got from nodding out on the sofa. Now, that I am 50 lbs away from my goal...I am so determined, and have said goodbye to not only 145lbs, but all those huge clothes that used to hang in my closet. Along with all those bad eating habits I had. Gone, but not forgotten. I kept the outfit I wore the day of my surgery, as a remembrance of where I came from. My surgeon told me, I shouldn't experience physical hunger, and for the past 10 months he's been right. I have not had physical hunger since my surgery. He did his job. I did my job too, because I have not had head hunger either. That was because I worked through the what's and why's. What happened in my life that made me want to eat my emotions? What was missing in me that made me want to fill it up with food? Why couldn't I stop on my own? I had a LOT to face. More than most of these bariatric programs ever even attempt to cover with their psych evaluations. Sorry, 1 test, and an hour with a Psychologist is NOT enough. So, yes, ask yourself if you are ready, because the head hunger, that's probably not going to go away. In my opinion, you really need to get that in check. I'm not being mean or harsh, just real with you. I wish you luck with everything. If you really want this....it's yours.

Congratulations! Well done!