Chrisann

When redux was pulled off the market my doctor called me up and apologized to me for putting me on it. I wasn't sure if he was being nice or trying to avoid a lawsuit. When he mentioned the band he said it was because he was never recommending diet drugs anymore. When I went back to him 6 months after the surgery, which was a year after my last physical, he was so happy about my weight loss, and then, after the labs came back, was astonished by how much everything improved. It was the coolest feeling hearing that from a doctor.

Best friend guy and I have a long history. I have known him nearly 20 years now, he was friends with my ex. When my ex and I broke up, BFG remained friends with me. When my ex stalked me, and terrorized me, it was my BFG that spoke to him and alleviated my fears. We have gone on vacation together several times, even shared a room, with two beds and had never been intimate before the other night. Not even a kiss on the cheek. He has been through several marriages and lots of women. His first wife, and mother of his kids, loves me and only trusts me with the kids when he gets them. She never liked the other wives or women. He needs me to go shopping with him, be it to pick out clothes, food, sunglasses etc. Says I was more fun to shop with then the women he was dating. I do let him walk all over me though. I lend him $$ and he pays me back. I have been heavy most of my life. I never had issues dating men, it wasn't always flings. I've had an active love life. I felt that he was friends with me because I was safe; his ideal woman, the ones he married and dated where short and thin. He introduced me most times as his sister. What is going on with him, even before the sex the other night, confused the hell out of me. He started to introduce me to people as his friend, not sister anymore. He says he is trying to be honest now. When I would directly ask about us dating, moving in, etc he has answered me with an emphatic "ABSOLUTELY NOT". When this all came to a head the other night it caught me by surprise. I thank Plain for saying my head is screwed on right, because I am confused. My feelings today say go out and meet a man, go on a date or two and see how BFG reacts now.

By BF I think she mean BoyFriend. I have been spelling out Best Guy Friend, cause I do not want to confuse him with being a BF.:biggrin: Nice seeing the guys in here too, good to see if you have a point of view on all of this....

Whosyadaddy, we started this all about the blow jobs in the beginning, then I had an incident of eating dinner before giving one with one deep throat I pb'd on the guy I was giving it to. So it was decided by all of us here to not eat at least an hour before one. Now, when I was with fling guy, it always started out with the bj because I like giving them. Best friend guy knew what I was doing with fling guy, well, because he was my best friend. Anyway, I anticipate a boring few days in the woods, since I am going to upstate NY for the weekend. Good luck on the date Cerrin, definately no eating for at least an hour.

My ex cheated on me with a woman larger and uglier, more butchy than I would ever be. I don't give a damn if I ever see him again skinnier or fatter. What mattered to me were the guys I went to college with, I am now lighter than I was then and had a get together and some didn't recognize me. Now that was priceless.....:tt2:

Sorry I posted the start of this here. It was personal in the beginning because it was about the sex and the language we were using to talk about it. It just went its own way and I guess since we aren't talking about sex, and the bad language anymore, I can make its own thread if it gets further than this. I don't think the mods would want the language we are allowed to use here in the singles forum.

Well back home ladies... I had a good time tonite. I met up with friends and went to something that is called Mets at the Movies. It was the Mets vs. Phillies game on a movie screen at the Ziegfeld Theater in NYC. We had a great time, caught some tshirts and watched a great game, the Mets won! Fling guy texted me several times, I ignored him. Best friend guy thought we were going out drinking and texted me too, so I lied to him and texted back several times that we were in a bar, guys buying us drinks etc. I get a voice mail from Best friend guy to call him as soon as I got the message. I call him back, pretend I had a few, as he wanted me to go to his house, (he was at work) to walk his dog and sit with the dog for a bit. I was like no f'ing way and hung up the phone. He called me back wanted to know who I was leaving with and how much was I drinking. Anyway, I know I am evil now, but I enjoyed this. I called him from my house when I got home and he was happy I made it home and said I didn't have to go to his place. I am heading out of town on Friday for 4 days, so I will have to see what happens then.

I took Redux as well. It was similar in the reactions to what I have experienced with the band. It made me stop eating, right there on the spot because I felt full. The difference is that I ate more then until I had that full feeling. But I would get up from the table the same way I get up now. It was the only successful way I lost weight in the past. I am working harder now to lose weight in that I am making healthy food choices now and paying attention to what I eat.

With my recent activity, at 41 years old, I have to start investigating birth control now. In the past, was in a committed relationship with someone who shot blanks, so to speak, so never needed birth control. My partners lately have been using condoms, but I think I need to be in control of this at this point in my life. Don't have kids, and don't want to have any with anyone who is not going to be my husband. I am just too selfish to raise a kid myself.

Ok well hell, best friend guy just im'd me and says, he never wants to talk about last night again. So I say, no regrets please, and no more talking about it. He says thank you. I then type back best friends first my dear. He says yes. So forgot both of these guys. I am going out with my girlfriends tomorrow night and gonna find a Man like Cerrin suggested this morning. Going to bed now so I don't have the dark circles under my eyes tomorrow night while I am strutting in my new size 18 jeans and low cut blouse.

I can't give you any advice here, except just make sure all the alternatives are explored and you get a second opinion too. I will be thinking about you and sending good vibes.

Well Fling guy called me today, and I told that I am developing feelings for someone else and don't think the booty calls right now are good for me. He went into a diatribe of the parts of my body he loves, and what he loves to do to them. Ironically enough, that just turned me off, so I said that he needs to give me space. Best friend guy comes over to my house tonite on his motorcycle, called me 15 minutes before, and wanted to know what I was cooking for dinner. I was having a 4oz piece of filet mignon, so I take out 3 more for him. He winds up doing the cooking on the grill and I had to go out a buy him french fries at the corner restaurant. Gotta love living in the city. Anyway, we then go shopping to the local store, when he buys me hair dye and says I should try being Auburn Brown. I figure what the hell. He helps me color my hair back at the house. Still not a word about last night. So he is getting ready to leave, and then it comes out, "about last night", I say nothing. He says "I don't know what came over me. I love having you as a friend, I want nothing to jeopardize that. I am a cancer to relationships". I said ok. He said "are you sure". I answered like this, "I don't regret last night, really. Would I like it to happen again, sure, but do I want to ruin our friendship, no. So, when you can figure out what you want, and I am still available to be with you that way, we can see if that is what we want." He seemed satisfied with that answer. So like that, in one day, gone is fling guy, and still here, platonically, is best friend guy. What a crazy 24 hours I have had. Being with him here tonite though, with the cooking and stuff, I think I do love him, so that is another can of worms. I am blaming all of this on the band and my weight loss.

Thanks ladies. I need to hear this from other people. I can't possibly tell other friends or my sister we slept together if nothing comes of it, so talking about this with them is out of the question. I do like having him in my life, and if it never happens again, I can live with it. If it ever progresses to a relationship, I can live with that too. He did call me a little while ago when I was away from my desk, and just left the voice mail, "whats going on, I guess you're busy, talk to you later." I haven't called him back yet. In the meantime I am trying to figure out how to break it off with the fling guy, because now that I am looking at myself from the outside, that is not a good thing either. God, I feel like I am back in HS.:thumbup:

If you don't mind, I will chime in.:crying: I have had some business events this summer, and I found it better to be walking around with a glass of wine than to be picking at appetizers. I attempted to sip champagne, and it hurt. So never did that again. I have been sticking to wine and to frozen drinks, mostly margaritas and pina coladas. Don't understand that though. I can't drink cold water, but can drink a frozen drink.....:wink2:

You know what, you are so right!!! One is 41 the other 39, both been through bad relationships with the wrong women, one married 3 times, the other 2 times, one with 2 kids from the first marriage, the other no kids. But the more I think about this, as much as sex and the other stuff is great, I do need a Man around here, not guys looking to fool around who have bad histories of relationships. At this stage of the game, they aren't going to change. The thing is, my best guy friend from last night is strangely absent this morning, usually, get the call at 7:00am to make sure I am awake, and after I dropped him off last night, he was unusually cold when I called to let him know I got back to my house. So now, did we ruin our friendship? We have been friends for 20 years. After this last 15 hours, I don't even want to think about sex with anyone.:crying:

I barely ate dinner tonight, 4 hours ago, let alone food the rest of the day, just tried to eat a few small pretzel sticks and immediately felt pain. Felt pain all day today when I tried to eat. The first time I have felt this. Yesterday I went to a party,and this is what I had all day: drank alot of Pina Colada's, probably 8, ate 4 chicken wings, one crab claw, one 4 inch size of sausage off the grill. Then had a mini italian pastry, but just the cream out of it, and small dish of ice cream. So, I am thinking I ate an awful lot of food yesterday, which is why I could get very, very little down today. I don't see the doctor until September 12th, so I am going to have to ask about this.

How weird is this. 6 days ago, bought size 20 pants and tight 18's, 6 DAYS AGO. Today, the size 20's are big, and the tight 18's fit and aren't tight!!!:wink2: Mind you, I haven't lost one pound. This is so cool.:wub::crying:

Thanks for the info. :crying:

Well geez, what a night. Started out non descript. Went shopping with my best guy friend discovered I am in size 18 now, down from 24/26 and then went home and cooked dinner. I couldn't eat all that much, so I went to take a shower. Imagine my surprise, when this man, who is my best friend, not the one that I have been fooling around with, wants to fool around with me. I haven't been in this situation since HS.:crying: To make the long story short, I come out with a full length robe on, and he approaches me. Wow, so now I am attractive to two guys who don't want a relationship with me, just wants to fool around. I can't do this. Now, to figure out do I be blunt and state that straight out or what? I am too old for this drama. I know that I can't fool around with both of them. That is just wrong. :wink2:

Well I am getting the opposite, basically from family and acquaintances that I haven't seen in about a year. They notice I have lost weight, mention it to my siblings or parents, but not to me, because they assume the worst, that I am sick and losing weight. Its so funny when I then approach them and say, I heard you asked my parents, (sisters, brothers) if I was ok because of my weight loss, and I just wanted you to know that I had lapband surgery. So then a small discussion is held, and I say very directly, there were only two ways I would have been able to lose weight, one was being sick, the other this surgery. Ironically enough, I enjoy talking about the weight loss. Everyone saw me for so many years as fat, and eating, and dieting. Its the greatest feeling to have had the lap band surgery, and for me to be succeeding with it.

I have been on planes several times since surgery and wanded at baseball games, and haven't set off a metal detector. Maybe the port is different in other countries.

Go into one in a well lit area, that doesn't look seedy, once you get in, if its set up nicely, you feel comfortable. Remember, the folks in there are not perverts, and are just doing their job. And if the place is nice, there won't be perverts hanging around. DON'T shop in the ones that advertise XXX movies, or peep shows, those are digusting.

Didn't have any coffee for the first 6 weeks after surgery, was drinking lots of tea, but then was able to drink coffee, and I am having several cups a day, even an iced trippio expresso at Starbucks in the afternoon. I don't have iced or hot coffee after 5pm. The doc told me that I have to have to drink the same amount of Water if I am going to be drinking this much coffee. I am drinking alot more coffee now than I did before the surgery though.

I was given Propel in the hospital after surgery and continue to drink it today. In fact, sometimes I can't drink plain Water and this goes down. I would check with the doctor but don't think they are not going to let you.

B-Man me too. Have 10 bags ready to go, but not sure where cause here in NYC its hard to pick. But its been such an emotional ride bagging stuff up. Just remembering where I wore some of the stuff, where I was when I bought it, crying because I am a definate smaller size and can really throw this stuff out. I went a mall last night with a friend, not intending on shopping, but saw the sale sign. So went to Lane Bryant, picked up 5 pairs of pants, a blouse and bra for $62!! New size, comfortable, 20 1 pair of pants, Tight size 18 the other 4 pants and blouse. I figure the price was right and I will be there soon. The bra? I am down a cup size, not too bad, but don't want to get any smaller there. :thumbup: