I can only say that when you stop saying you 'suck' and when you stop feeling you are a failure then you can start to go someplace. There is nothing wrong with you. You have some challenges like everyone else. Get your game plan together adn get to work! So what if you mess up, you know as well as I do you only fail when you stop and give up. Look at you..you're still working on it. You just have to find what works. You are important and valuable no matter how much you weigh! Sorry if it all sounds cliche but its true imho!