ginny two

I've really struggled with my band. As my surgeon's nurse says, "It's stomach surgery, not brain surgery." I had lost 48 of the 266 lbs. that I originally weighed and was feeling pretty good. I was shocked at how much easier it was to walk across the sand at the beach, walk up stairs, etc. To make a long story shorter, I'm back up to 261 lbs. due to emotional eating. Today my 15 year old daughter did our grocery shopping, because I am in too much pain. My back, knees, hips and head all ache. It's too much for me to be able to shop for my family. I'm right back where I was. My daughter keeps begging me to get my band tightened again. I feel so guilty. I already know that I can totally eat around it if I want to. I feel like I hit a bottom of sorts today, watching my girl shop and carry in all the groceries, then put them all away. I felt so guilty and helpless. Not that I think my daughter shouldn't have to help out, but I don't want it to be because I'm disabled by my own doing. Maybe we can all help each other. Thanks for sharing and listening!

I think the fact that you are still 47 lbs lighter than pre-band is fantastic! I know that it stinks to not be where we want to be or where we thought we would be at this point, but let's try to look at how far we've come. I'm grasping on to every single pound that still hangs in that "lost" category as tightly as I can! LOL! I may have gained back 26 pounds, but I'm still 22 pounds lighter than I was in the beginning. My rings are still loose. My husband likes the way I look. ANYTHING! I'm just trying to grasp it right now. Thanks to everyone that gave me encouragement. Even if at the end of my life if I look back and see that I didn't lose any weight from getting a LAP-BAND® it was worth it. If I hadn't had WLS, I would be sitting here thinking, "If I could only have WLS, THEN I could lose this weight.!" I know that I can start the fills should I decide to try it again. I would like to keep checking in here, because I feel inspired by all of you. Even those who are struggling help me to see that I'm not just a "problem child".

I haven't been on this board for a very long time. I received an e-mail notice about this thread this morning, so thought I'd check in. I'm glad to hear about so many people having success with their bands, but I'm also mystified and saddened. I don't really understand how other people do it. Actually, I do. I've never really followed the rules. Never exercised. Always had the intention, but never got there. In the beginning, I was planning my wedding and was so stressed out and busy that I thought I had a good excuse. After that I was going to "get around to it" when things settled down. They still haven't settled down! I "couldn't" give up drinking with meals. I lost 50 pounds in the beginning. Once I went on my honeymoon, I allowed myself to have some slider foods like ice cream to enjoy myself. Well, the enjoyment never ended. Foods would get stuck once in a while, because I would forget to chew really well. I could go on and on, but as I reread this I just sound like a big baby! I've gained back 30 pounds. I recently had the doctor empty my band, because I just gave up. I feel that if I could follow the rules anyway I would still lose the weight. *sigh* I'm especially happy to hear that people have gotten rid of medical problems. YAY! That's so awesome! I pray that I will find the strength to take care of myself before I develope diabetes and/or other problems. :thumbup: Good luck to everyone!!! I truly wish everyone success and happiness!

Congratulations on your marriage AND on your weight loss/health gain!

Thanks, canadiangirl, you have amazing tenacity! I just don't think I have it in me, but I'm definitely going to remember what you said you've gone through. When I feel sorry for myself because of my weight, I'll remember there is a way to lose it!

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but I've really had a hard time this year with head hunger. I did well for the first few months. Then by March I was so stressed over planning my wedding that I slacked off and just maintained. After the wedding (in May) I was so happy that I didn't care about the weight so didn't bother to follow the rules. Now I have gained back 12 pounds after a 48 pound loss. I've gotten to the point where I have spit up several times in the past few weeks. I'm afraid that my band may have slipped or will slip if I continue down this road. I'm really disgusted with myself for going through this whole process and then not doing what I have to do to make it work. I'm depressed because I just read that 40% of bandsters "fail". Reading that some people are having success and are HAPPY with their bands gives me a little hope. I'm starting the 5 Day Pouch Test today. I hate to say it, but I'm not feeling super confident that I will be able to last the entire 5 days. I guess it's because I have often regained that exuberance over a new start and then lost it after just a few days. Taking it one day at a time is all that can be done at this point. (Right now I feel like crying.) I apologize again for such a downer post. I'm hoping for the same support that you have all given me in the past when I've come back like this. Congratulations to you that have had such success! I'm not jealous, just baffled at how you have done it. Maybe I'm just not like you guys, after all.:wink2:

UGH! It's a good thing that my husband loves me and knows how to deal with my moods. I've been in sugar withdrawal for two days and I'm as mean as a snake! He treats me with TLC and ends up making me laugh about stuff. Any other man that I've known would have hidden on the other side of the house until the storm passed. Either that, or they would have engaged in fighting with me and that wouldn't have been good for anybody. I don't know how Marc does it. He's a saint. He's at church right now (probably praying for strength). I have a huge headache, so I stayed home. The good news is that I know it will pass soon. Today is probably going to be the worst day. You ladies give me strength. Knowing that you're out there dealing with the same thing really helps me. I don't feel so miserable and alone. :biggrin::bananapowerslide: TAWANDA!!!!!

Thanks, Tammy and Glammaw! I can't binge on a dozen donuts like I used to do. I can't even eat one. That's the good news. The bad news is that I've discovered slider foods. I did eat some Greek yogurt this morning with blueberries (my nutritionist had suggested it). It has 13 grams of protein and it was delicious. I just need to work on finding foods that are good for me that I enjoy eating. I know that I need to get moving. Thanks for the reminder! I have two new wonderful stepchildren and my own spicey, sweet, redheaded daughter that want to start walking together. (All teenagers.) My little chihuahua is the new star of the household and he is a great motivator for us all. He makes it a lot more fun. My life is really wonderful right now on all counts except for the food monster. I guess it's a great time to tackle him. I struggle a lot with head hunger. :thumbup: BTW, I have a habit of writing long posts. Sorry about that. I'll probably just apologize each time. Talk to you later!

Big hugs to Glammaw and all the Novembers that are struggling to hang in there. I haven't been on the board in a very long time. Let me see if I can try to make this as short as possible. Stress from planning my wedding led me to not try so hard to lose weight. I went into "maintain" mode. Got married in late May, kept not trying, went on vacation and now here I am. I've gained 6 pounds back. I'm deep into sugar cravings and mini-binges. I saw my doctor yesterday and I'm ready to start working on my weight loss/health gain. I went over a plan with my nutritionist, too. I feel bad about not working on my weight loss when I see the progress others have made. Then I tell myself to not compare, because we are all individuals and have our own journey. I am a little worried about the "most weight loss in the first year" thing. My doctor has never told me that, but I've heard it a lot on this board. Sorry for the long post. I'll shut my yap for now and go to bed! Have a good night, everybody.

YEAH, what she said! You inspire me just like you inspire Ebony Rose. I've been a real slack arse lately. Haven't done much of anything except for maintain the loss that I had in the first several months. I have a raging sweet tooth. Haven't been following the rules. Haven't checked in here. I need to get my butt back in gear, too. Thanks for giving me hope!

I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds awful! I haven't been sick since I've been banded. There were two days, though, that I was very emotionally distraught and had a similar experience. I was only able to get liquids down. Not easily, but they went down, so I drank protein shakes. It got a little better each day. I wouldn't hesitate to call my doctor. Especially if you aren't able to get any protein shakes in. Please let us know how you're doing!

Thank you, jms. But, I haven't lost any weight in three weeks. I'm going in for my fill in a week and I'm embarrassed that I haven't lost so far. They will know that I haven't been compliant. I've been up and down the same three pounds. I know it's normal to fluctuate like that. I guess I should be grateful that I haven't gained 5 or 10 pounds! Thanks for the encouragement. I will try to take it to heart. I just stayed up all night. :thumbup: It is now 5:40 a.m. and I haven't slept at all. In twenty minutes I need to wake up my daughter so that she can start her day. This is not healthy behavior, lol! ( That's stating the obvious.) I avoided the computer all day, because my eyes have been hurting me. Now I have been on it since 8:00. That's nine and a half hours. Addicted much? I think I'll go do the dinner dishes before I wake her up. Thanks for being here, everybody.

I shouldn't have avoided this board for so long. I've been really frustrated by the lack of restriction. I've been feeling so sorry for myself and sliding backwards more and more into unhealthy behaviors. Exercising less and less, gradually eating more and I'm not talking about the good stuff. I'm glad I dropped in tonight to see that some people seem to have hit their sweet spot and are loving it. That gives me renewed hope. It also helps for me to see that I'm not the only one that is struggling. I want to tell the strugglers to not give up, hang in there, and then I realize I need to say that to myself, too. Nobody around me "gets it". But you all do. I need to not feel so isolated. My hospital group only meets once a month and half the time I can't make it (since it's a weeknight and downtown). Here's to not giving up!

I love the Slimfast Low Carb, it's the only thing that doesn't taste watery to me. Walmart is pretty far away and I have a hard time finding the Low Carb consistently, so I order it off of Amazon.com.

I had my second fill yesterday. I was disappointed that he only put in .5 cc, bringing me to 5 in a 10 band. I thought that he would bring me to a 6. I know that it has to go slowly, blah, blah, blah. I'm just not good at delayed gratification! I forgot that I'm supposed to be on liquids and went straight out for lunch with my boyfriend. :eek:

Sorry for this long post. Heidi, I think that if your marriage wasn't the best to begin with then it may be a good idea to get counseling. I know a lot of people are adverse to it, though. I'm really sorry that this crap is happening to you! I guess I'm really lucky, because I'm "only" engaged, so my guy doesn't have that "she can't walk away so I can be a total a**hole" thing going on, (yet). He is 10 years older than me, so that already had him a wee bit insecure. He said the stuff about, "You're not going to leave me when you get thin are you?" I let him have it with both barrels blazing. How dare he think that I'm only with him because I'm fat and I'm settling for him? Does he really think that I'm that shallow? Why would he marry me if that's how he sees me? I asked him if he is with me because I'm "safe" as a fattie that no one else wants. We don't have the relationship that I thought we had if this is the case. All of these questions really put his stupid insecurity into perspective for him. I told him, if men start making passes at me, I'll just be like, "Forget you! I've got an awesome man, he gets to blank this every night and I'M the lucky one!" That sounds really stupid, but it was something like that. I read an article about a year ago that said there are certain things you can say to your man that will make him happy and secure. Since all of them fit and weren't BS, I've used them once in a while. I kind of stepped it up a little since I started losing weight. I've been married before, so I know that when you're really resenting him it's almost impossible to do this. If anyone's interested, you can pm me and I will send you the article. One of the tougher things, is that he was a little jealous of my ex-husband. (This just started with the weight loss.) He is sure that the ex will want me back. I made the mistake of telling my fiance that he has been nicer to me lately, cause I forgot about the jealousy thing. He kind of thought that since we have a child together that I might be drawn to the idiot I used to be married to. I've started to tell him about the really emotionally and physically abusive things that happened in that relationship. I didn't before, because it just seemed like I might be looking for pity. He was pretty shocked and upset that I had gone through such a thing. But, now he doesn't worry about us getting back together! I hope that this jealousy stuff will get out of the men's (?) systems for all of us. Have any men had this problem with their wives or partners? I'd be curious to know.

Oh, yikes! I'm glad that you are feeling better. It sounds like it was not a fun weekend for you.:tongue2:

Denny, thanks for sharing your exercise routine, etc. with us. I was about to be very jealous of you for being a man and having it so "easy". :thumbup: I know! Don't you hate the word EASY!!!!! :scared: You've given me a lot of motivation today. Thanks again!

No, Jaime, I don't think that at all! I always get something good out of your posts. I see you as someone that is capable of being very honest with yourself and others. I also love your enthusiasm and commitment to making this work. I've seen you help lots of people with supportive words and ideas. Especially protein shake recipes, mmmmmm. I was referring to an old post of yours saying that sometimes people need a reality check instead of molly coddling. Okay, those weren't the exact words, but my middle-aged lady version. :thumbup: I hope that I didn't make you feel bad. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. I will pray for you as well. :w00t:

I haven't lost any weight since January 5th. I've gotten into a weird, nasty, habit. I've started to stay up very late at night on the internet (porn, JK!) til about 3, 4, 5 a.m.. When it's the middle of the night, I feel like I'm in a different world and nothing matters. I end up eating crazy stuff, like honey and sugar right out of the bowl. Then the whole next day I have a "hangover". It's not every night, but often enough to really screw up my body and my psyche. Okay, Jaime. I'm ready to have my ass kicked now. :thumbdown: Seriously, it's okay. I can't believe I've gone through all of this time and pain, not to mention money, just to indulge in this behavior. I need to get my butt in bed at 11:00, so that I can wake up in the morning and still be okay. I haven't talked about it much, because I feel like I'm the only one that is screwing up this badly. I'm afraid that I'll be written off as "one of those" that is just not ready to follow the rules. I don't want to write myself off. I don't want to see myself as a lost cause, or an addict that refuses help. I don't want to live like this anymore. Is there a lapband rehab center???

That's fantastic, too! They say that you shouldn't compare yourself to others, because everyone's anatomy is different. Your stomach wall may be thicker than mine. Who knows? I wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. I hope you don't feel guilty. It gives me hope to hear that you are doing so well!

You're going to the gym 5 days a week and eating a healthy diet......I think you're doing great!!!! Just hang in there with this healthy lifestyle even though you feel your portions are too large. Once you have restriction, that will change. Good luck with your fill!

WOW! That's really weird. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

It sounds like you are doing fantastic to me! Welcome to the Notorious Novembers. I was banded on the 24th, too. :wink2: