Dianechef

I have about had it with my in-laws. I am so unsure of what to do with them right now. I am hoping someone here can help me put this all together & figure out where I should go from here. Here's the short version of the story: I had my surgery in Mexico. I chose to tell everyone about getting Lapband surgery upfront, but my husband & I decided not to tell everyone about Mexico until AFTER the surgery. We told everyone that we were traveling to San Diego for the surgery. (Which really is the truth, we just crossed the border!!) 6-weeks AFTER the surgery, we felt it was time to tell everyone about Mexico. (I just believe in being honest & didn't want any secrets!) My family & friends had no problems! My in-laws flipped out!! They told us they were coming over for a meeting & then for 2 hrs. went on & on about my deceitfulness & how my bad example was rubbing off on my kids. (Please note that at NO TIME have I ever in the past or present lied to my in-laws. This one incident is what the only basis of their judgment.) I was very hurt by this & could not sleep that night. Since I couldn't sleep, I got up & wrote them a letter through e-mail & sent it. I simply shared my feelings. My in-laws did not speak to me for 6-months over this letter!! Last week they called my husband & said they wanted to meet. So, we hooked up at a restaurant & were there for 3 hrs. while they finished off what they started 6 months ago. I thought they were wanting to meet to apologize to me. :straight I left feeling worse!!! They feel that I LIED to them & led them to believe something that wasn't the truth. They felt that I didn't trust them by telling them up front. They said they were very concerned for my safety & the safety of my children - that I was thoughtless & selfish to do something like this. My husband really layed in on them that night!! He did most of the talking & I was proud of him. I've never seen him so rude to his parents before!!!!!! He's usually a kind-hearted easy going man. However, he regrets getting mad & now their relationship is worse. I have lost 50 lbs. since they've seen me. My MIL kept staring at me when I got up to get a drink or go to the restroom. She was eyeing me in a weird way. It's almost as if she's jealous!! (She is VERY overweight herself!) I have felt miserable for the past few days & don't know what to do. I am actually coming to the conclusion that perhaps I was wrong? (ME?! WRONG?!?!) UP to this point, I truly felt that what I did was okay. Is there some law that says I'm required to tell my in-laws that I am having surgery in Mexico? It's MY LIFE for goodness sake. I didn't tell them about Mexico upfront because I knew they would FREAK OUT!! They're just that way. It would have ruined our whole trip. I would appreciate ALL OPINIONS!! If you really think that what I did was deceitful, please share your feelings. I am hoping to get some insight that maybe I just don't see. I just want this craziness to be over!! My kids miss seeing Grandma & Grandpa!!!!!!!

I love that Dr. Phil quote Paulax!! I seriously say that in my head all the time!!! "THE BEST REVENGE IS TO LIVE WELL!" I can honestly say that we HAVE lived well. We have gone on with our lives & are enjoying every minute. We have great kids. Our marriage is good. My husband has a good job & we are very happy!! So, I guess we stuck it to them!!! HA!! To answer the question about why I keep letting them call meetings - The first one we had no idea what it was about. They just said they wanted to come over & talk about something very important. After months of no contact at all & then a phone call saying they wanted to meet, I thought it would be a good idea to get everything out in the open & was glad to finally END this fued. (That's at least what I THOUGHT the meeting was about!) Lo & behold, it was a slap in the face. I can gaurantee you that if there's any more "meetings" held it will be called by US!! I have seriously considered calling Dr. Phil. My husband said that there is NO WAY his parents would ever go on national T.V. & air their private affairs. I think they know that they'll get SLAMMED!!!!! :biggrin1:

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! I could just feel all those hugs that came my way!!!!! :) Thanks! Why in the world did I ever let myself think that I was wrong?!?!? My in-laws really are strange people. (WACKOS!!!) They are offended easily & are always worried about everything!! However, I've never been on their offended list - my MIL USED to love & adore me!! I just can't believe that they have let this drag on so long!! I guess this hurts me so much because my husband really loves his Dad. His mother & he have never seen eye-to-eye, but he really looks up to his Dad. And, unfortunately, his Dad is stickin' behind his wife. It really is my MIL with the problems. I haven't figured out if they are upset at me going to Mexico or me just having the surgery at all. They've never made that very clear. I would really LOVE to just mark them off my list & never talk to them again. However, they are my husbands parents & he WANTS a relationship with them - even if they are wacko. He's just a dedicated family man who believes in loving people for who they are. He has put up with a lot of crap in his life!! I should mention that he has one brother & he has been in & out of jail & is currently homeless living on Mill Ave. My husband has risen above & beyond his parents. SAD!! SAD!! I am NOT going to apologize to them. It's probably what they're waiting for & I don't have anything to apologize for!!!

I had mine removed 6 weeks after giving birth to my 1st child. I had pains during pregnancy & didn't know it was my Gallbladder. I told the doctor & of course he said -"You're pregnant. It could be a number of things!" After the baby was born, the pains got worse & my doctor told me it was my uterus contracting. I finally ended up in the ER where they sent me to the hospital for emergency surgery. I've had no problems since. No problems eating any food & no diahrrea. P'Nut, that is very strange that you had 2 attacks & nothing ever again!! You are lucky you never had to have surgery. I can't explain your friends ordeal. I'm so glad I didn't have those problems afterwards. No fun!! My lap band surgery was definately easier then my Gall bladder. Then, again, I had just given birth & had a 6-week old baby to come home to afterwards.

Hi Paula, such good advice has been given here!! :biggrin1: I don't think I can top any of it. It's right on!!! I just thought I'd add a few things: Remember that pre-band, you probably would have gained 20 lbs. with your 3-week binge. I don't know if you've gained any weight or not over the past 3-weeks, but at least it's not what it could have been!!!! :paranoid Yeah for our bands!! It keeps us from REALLY BLOWING IT!!! I saw that you mentioned your kids drive you nuts at time. HA!! I have 3 kids & know EXACTLY what you mean. We love um, but there are some days when you just want 2 hrs. alone without the whining, fighting & knocking on the bathroom door while you TRY to get 3 min. of peace. :hurt I sympathize AND empathize with you in every way. When I've had my binges in the past I recognize the problem & the "real" reason why I'm doing it, have a good cry & tell myself I have to end this insanity!!!! A good talk with a friend or my spouse & I'm feeling better. I then have one last pity party to get it all out of my system. I'm fine the next day & can go on with my life. You can do it Paula!! You got a ton of "friends" here who all are rootin' for ya!! Now, put down the fruity pebbles!!!

A few years back I decided I wanted to lose weight & thought I should go get a good check-up with a doctor & just see what his opinion would be to help me lose weight. When I originally talked to him I told him I was overweight, but in good health otherwise. He told me he'd run some tests & get back to me. They did all the regular stuff, blood pressure, high cholesterol, stress test, urine, blood samples..........etc. I came back a week later & this is what the doctor said - "Well, I ran all the tests on you & except for being overweight, it looks like you're in good health otherwise. So, good luck to you!" and then he walked out the door. I don't think he remembered me or the reason I had originally come in to see him. He told me exactly what I already knew.

Weigh in day!! Down 2 lbs. since last Wednesday. 205/-2 Okay P'Nut, question here. I noticed everyone is posting their weight differently. I wanted to do it the right way to make it easier for you. So I went back to the first page & re-read it now I'm a little more confused. :rolleyes Am I supposed to post the total lost for the week or the total loss for my entire weight loss journey? I think putting the -2 is correct. However, if I am totally wrong & am supposed to put entire weight loss, the number is -52. Thanks!!! Only 6 away from ONE-DERLAND!!!

I am serious here!!!! Girl Scout Cookies came a few days ago.....by accident. When the little girl asked me if I wanted to order some I told her I would be happy to give her some money for the cause but that I didn't want any cookies. 4 boxes of thin mints were dropped off at my door 2 days ago. I ate an entire 1/2 box!! I am scared to death to see how many calories I consumed!! HELP!!! So, how do you think we should rid the world of Girl Scout Cookies? THESE THINGS ARE DANGEROUS!!!

Now the poll reads that we should all just eat them in one sitting & end the torture. So........grab a big ol' glass of milk and ENJOY!!!!

WAHOO!!! I am so excited for you!! I hope to join you very, very soon!!!!! :Banane40: :waytogo:

I am down 53 lbs. in 7 months. I'm hoping I qualify as one of those who continue to lose weight. If I'm not, then skip to the next person. Here's what keeps me motivated: In my office I track my weight loss in 3 ways. I have a weight loss chart hung on my wall. The starting weight is at the top with an arrow heading downwards with a big 150 in stars!! (My goal weight!) I also have monthly pictures taken of me hanging on the wall. These pictures are a big motivator for me. BIG!! There are days when I really can't tell that I've lost weight. Then, I look at those pictures & I can see it!! I also have my "50 Reasons to Weight 150 lbs." hanging on the wall. When I have down days, these really pick me up. What I Eat: I usually drink a Protein shake for Breakfast because I have a hard time getting down solids in the morning. For lunch I eat at Wendy's EVERYDAY!! I either have a chili or a salad. I eat dinner with my family & just eat a smaller portion. I drink lots of Water through out the day. If I am hungry in between meals, I eat protein because I know that it won't go down real easy & will keep me from eating more. (Jerky, Peanut Butter, tuna, hot dog, dry chicken) 2-3 bites usually does the trick & then I'm uncomfortable. Perfect for me to stop putting something bad in my mouth!! Exercise: I didn't exercise the first 3-4 months after surgery. I've never been a big exercise person & frankly, I HATE IT most of the time!! However, I have forced myself to go to the gym. I started going 3x a week & hired a trainer. (I figured if I'm going to do it, I might as well do it right!) I now work out on my own & usually go 4-5x a week. It was when I started working out that I saw a big change in my pant size & started feeling so much more energy. I still don't like it a whole lot, but I know it's good for me. Besides, it gets me out of the house!!! :rolleyes I am not a perfect bandster all the time!! I have made lots of mistakes & eaten lots of Girl Scout Cookies. I give myself a free night on Fridays to eat something fattening & fun. I eat it & get it out of the house. If I am tempted during the week, I just tell myself that I can have it on Friday & then I feel better. Hope this helps!!!

People always put their best food forward during the dating time. The real person comes out once you're married. If this is his BEST, I'd be very worried!! I'd get out of there FAST!!!!

Okay, time to come clear...... For two days after eating all those GS cookies, I starved myself. I ate a salad & drank 1 protein shake for the whole day. So, I guess the GS cookie diet doesn't really work at all unless you decide you want to starve yourself afterwards. I agree with all the others - "STEP AWAY FROM THE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!!" The cookies are officially OUT OF THE HOUSE & I am having a party tonight to celebrate!! P'nut - I LOVED the disclaimer about not endorsing the diet. I couldn't stop laughing!!!!! Good one. Dawg - Your sense of humor is one of a kind & you definately go well with P'nut!! Do you guys crack each other up this much at home?!?!?! Love it.

I love posts like this!! You're so happy & excited!! You're living your life feeling FREE & that's what this band is all about!! WAY TO GO!! I'm so proud of you.

Okay, here's the deal... After eating a butt-load of girl scout Cookies this week, I was SCARED TO DEATH to step on the scale. I actually got off before it read my weight 2 times because I was soooo sure I had gained 5 lbs. The third time I actually let the numbers come up. Are you ready for this??! I mean, are you REALLY ready for this?!?!?........................................I LOST 2 WHOLE LBS!! How does that happen?!?! I think I'm going to write a new book called the Girl Scout Cookie Diet!! I am living proof that it really does work!! Here's the title of the book: Eat a box of Girl Scout Cookies a day & watch the fat melt away! Do you think anyone would buy it?!? My official weigh-in day has changed to Wednesday so I still have 2 more days of cookie eating & weight losing. Oh, & can I just mention.......TODAY I weighed exactly the same as my husband. In 12 yrs. I have always weighed more then him. Whoot! Whoot!! Okay, I'm done.... :eek: :eek: :rant:

Thumbs up to Alex's post. You will have MORE pain if you try to eat after vomiting. If I still feel pretty hungry, I will drink a protein shake & it usually does the trick. I also keep some yummy soups on hand for these reasons too!!

I agree with the above! I was told by my doctor that it wasn't good for MY health to get pregnant before my 1 yr. mark was up. You body went through A LOT with the surgery & I would DEFINATELY talk to your doctor before you make any decisions. My humble opinion......you went through MAJOR surgery to help you lose weight. I would let the band work & lose that weight. Give yourself one year. I think you AND the baby will be much better off. Babies are very special. I have 3 of my own & LOVE them dearly. However, take care of YOU first. After those sweet little things are here, taking care of yourself suddenly takes a backseat to the kids. You will be a healthier person & a better Mom to your baby. It is MUCH, MUCH harder to lose weight & exercise once the kids come. Bottom line - it's your body & your decision. Good luck & I wish you the best!

No, I didn't see your title until just now!! HA!! You don't happen to have a GS cookie addition too do ya?! All I gotta say is that I will be VERY HAPPY when the cookie season is over. These Cookies are swarming around me. I gotta try the Red Robin Chili!! Sounds yummy.

I was banded out of state & have not had any complications & thought my surgery went very well & I've had great success. However, if I was in your position, I would wait & have it done in your own state. A big part of your success depends on your after care & when you have surgery somewhere else you will not have the after care that you truly need. It isn't something you can't even describe until you are banded & start using your band & getting fills. I know the waiting is very long & hard. We all went through it & it truly SUCKS!! However, even if the surgeon in France is #1 in the world, he still lives in France. If you found a good doctor who will do you fills that is close by, it still isn't the same. They aren't there to monitor you. You are not their patient. Good luck on your decision. It's a very hard one & I truly feel for you!!!

GO P'nut!!!!!! That is a BIG NSV & I am very proud of you!!! I still remember the first time I went out to eat after being banded. I didn't have the food cravings either. However, I will never forget watching my family scarfing down their food at the table. When they were done, they all complained of their stomachs feeling so full. They burped. They had bad breath. They all waddled out the door & had to sit down for awhile, waiting for thier food to digest. I, on the other hand was so overjoyed that I didn't have any of those problems & was ready to go!!! This band really does make you feel FREE & so alive!! We are all in such a better place, don't you agree? One bowl of chili SHOULD feel you up. Going to lunch with a Mother, SHOULD be all about your Mother & the conversation. Eating SHOULD be all about putting good nutritious food in our bodies. Besides, those greasy hamburgers don't really taste as good as they look. Niether does Chocolate, or ice cream, or brownies, or GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!!! They taste TERRIBLE. Just TERRIBLE!!!!!! Ummmm......yeah. I could never eat another girl scout cookie. Never!!....................Really!!!........................I'm serious!...................................They taste TERRIBLE!!! Oh, gotta go. The girl scouts are knocking at my door. :rolleyes

I had my gall bladder removed & the pain is nothing like you've described. You actually feel 90% of the pain in your stomach area. (It's actually the gall bladder that's hurting. You just know the pain is somewhere in the vicinity of your abdomen.) If it's your gall bladder you will have the worst pains after you eat fatty foods. I always go to WebMD to find out the symptoms of something. Look up Gallbladder & it will give you all kinds of info. And, if you have any of those symptoms, print it out & bring it to your doctor. My pain wasn't diagnosed until I finally went to the ER with severe pain where they did an ex-ray to see stones in my gallbladder. The pain was unbearable!!! Good luck to you!!!

I bought a Treadmill 3 yrs ago & spent a lot of money to get it. I used it for about 2 months & then it started collecting dust. It was in the way & I put it in storage. I had good intentions!!! Joining a gym was the best choice for me because I was paying for it every month & I HAVE to go if I don't want to lose money. But, this is just me!! I'm sure there are others out there who like the home thing & it works for them. I have an idea.....how about both?!?!?! ha.

I HEAR YA!! I still am in awe when I go buy clothes & the size I'm used to buying to TOO BIG!! In the past 15 yrs. I've gotten used to trying on clothes & then going back to get the bigger size. We are so used to failing at weight loss that when it actually starts to happen we can't believe it!!! I am still taken back when people tell me that I look so good. My first reaction is - "Are you talking to me?" I am not used to people telling me I look good. For so many years I haven't "looked good!" It's a WEIRD, GREAT feeling & I'll just have to get used to it!!

I am thrilled for you Kellie!! Make sure WE get to see the pictures. :confused:

It looks like the Bonfire is winning so far!!! WHOOT! WHOOT!! So, where are we all gonna meet for the big cookie burn?!?!?!?!??!?!?