ready2B

Yikes!! When I read your title, I thought you meant you had a removable band of some sort and were literally "taking it out" before eating lunch!!!!

I lost almost 100 lbs on a very popular diet program a few years ago on about 900-1000 calories a day. No cheating for the entire year, not even once. Took insane willpower. And what was my reward? I got to enjoy being at my goal weight for 30 minutes before I started gaining it all back! That's why I am here - after repeating that nonsense multiple times, I finally admitted restrictive dieting isn't a long term solution to weight loss!

@@Dabliss111114 - When I saw your opening post, I took a double take thinking I had written that! I sure could have, almost word for word.

michellew1 - I am having the same surgery one day before you, Does that count? :-) I have the same goal weight too, so I'd love to follow your journey and compare notes as we go along. My surgeon doesn't require the 2 week liquid diet, just the day before surgery. I go next week for my pre-op appt and hope he doesn't change that! I've been making my to-do list of things I need to buy. I already have my Protein drinks and Vitamins but will need to get popsicles, cottage cheese, milk, etc. I am getting nervous but also excited that after this long wait it is almost here. Sometimes I wonder if the whole ordeal with getting approved is just to build up that excitement so we don't think too much about how our insides are going to get all rearranged.

Congratulations! Now you can exhale. :-) My surgery is just the day before your - Nov 10th.

HI all! I am scheduled for RNY on November 10th. Also large hiatal hernia repair. It's nice to know others will be in the same boat at the same time and we can cheer each other on. Feel free to add me as a friend. :-) It took so long to get to this point and now that I am only 2 weeks away, it's a bit scary! For so long, I couldn't wait to do this, but it definitely is making me nervous. I am trying to focus on all the positives such as how much healthier I will be, how great it will be to be able to do things again that I haven't been able to because of my weight, how fun it will be to buy clothes that actually look good on me, and how wonderful it will be to be comfortable in my own skin again! I can't wait to no longer be the fattest person in the room and have people never really know the "real me" because it is buried under 150 excess pounds. So, whatever the next few weeks brings, I am ready for. Bring it on!

Jonathon brought up some very good points. Sometimes a significant other doesn't want the other person to get better for a variety of reasons. Some might be afraid the relationship would change. Some might worry that you would leave them. Some might want to keep the "upper hand" if your weight issues keep you insecure and dependent. Some might feel your getting healthier might "push" them into a healthier lifestyle too that they aren't willing to do yet. Some just fear losing their "eating buddy" and wonder how you will spend time together if it isn't around food. Those are all codependencies. I wouldn't be surprised if your husband has other reasons besides his fear that you may die - especially since your chances of an early death are far greater without the surgery. (He might not even be aware of all his motives.) Think of it this way - if you were an alcoholic or drug addict and you decided you want to get treatment to get sober and your spouse didn't want you to (for whatever reasons) - wouldn't you do it anyway? Of course you would! Healthier is always better - and in the long run, it makes for much healthier relationships. Change of any kind is scary, not just for the person going through the change, but those around them. But if the direction you are heading to with those changes are good, then everything WILL work out. At the end of the day, you have to do what is right for you and he will either get on board too or he won't. That is his choice - and what he chooses will tell you who he really is.

I will be having my surgery just 2 weeks before Thanksgiving. I guess I will still be on pureed or soft foods then and likely not eating much at meals at all. We weren't planning on doing anything special - we usually don't do the whole big turkey dinner since none of us really even like it and I have one kid who is a vegetarian, one who is lactose intolerant and one who won't eat any carbs and another who is just picky as hell. Yeah, holidays are always fun! Usually I just make a variety of appetizers and we graze all day. But, I got a call that my son who lives far away that he is coming and bringing his girlfriend who we haven't met! So, now I don't know what to do? I don't know if she will be expecting a full traditional dinner or not. I don't even know if I will be up to cooking anything, much less a huge spread. I also haven't told my son about my surgery - he's always been critical about my weight and I expect some snarky comments from him that I just need to eat like him (he's always been naturally thin) or other ignorant remarks. But I guess that will be a bit hard to hide two weeks out, right? I don't want to make things awkward for his girlfriend. So - what would you do? Would you tell him ahead of time? Would you plan on cooking a big traditional meal and trying to fake your way through it? We have also been invited to friend's for dinner that day if we all want to go there instead - in a way that would be nice since I wouldn't have to do all the work. Eating out isn't an option since there aren't any restaurants in our area that will be open. And I also worry I won't even know at that point what I can keep down and I don't want to chance losing my dinner in front of everyone! Arrrggghhh!! Thanksgiving is really stressing me out!! Any advice would be highly welcomed!

MsUjima - I understand what you are saying about planning for the worst and then get pleasantly surprised if I feel better than expected. Good advice! Not having dinner here isn't an option, but I think if I turn everyone loose in the kitchen and let them share the cooking amongst themselves, it will be fine. I won't plan on doing any of it myself. My crowd is way too picky for me to please everyone anyway. My son actually loves to cook, so he might really enjoy an opportunity to show off his skills. :-) I think I will plan on resting and just enjoying everyone's company and let them do all the work. Djmohr - thanks for the feedback about going anywhere. It is a little hard for me to wrap my head around that still. I was thinking earlier "we can stop for lunch somewhere after picking them up from the airport." So now, that doesn't sound like a good plan, does it? I guess a better plan would be have my husband go pick them up while I take a nap and rest up, and they can pick up something for lunch on the way here. I think I need to revise all my thinking about this and plan around me NOT to be able to do much of anything.

Thanks all for such great feedback! You've all given me so much to think about. I think I am leaning more towards this suggestion of doing our regular thing with the appetizers and have each of the adult kids make their own favorite so everyone has something they like and will eat. Telling my son & his girlfriend not to come isn't an option since they've already got their plane tickets and I really do want to see them (just not have the snarky remarks about my weight.) I am hoping he will be on his best behavior since he is bringing the girl. If she is smart, she would be highly appalled at any guy who treated his mother badly in front of her. I think planning to stay at home sounds like my best bet too since I really am not sure what I will be feeling like and I'd hate to plan on us all going to the friend's and at the last minute have to bail out (and then not have any food planned for at home.) If it were just my husband and I, it wouldn't matter. If we stay home, then if I get wiped out, it will be no big deal to go take a nap. Also, with the very informal finger foods, what I eat or don't eat won't be so obvious and hopefully won't be the central topic of conversation. Doxie Mom of 3 - yes, I am having the RNY and our diet packet says no corn. It does include milk in a lot of the daily menu examples, so I think it is okay as long as we don't develop any intolerance. MisforMimi - you are right that I need to take care of myself first and simply not put up with rudeness from anyone. I am thinking I may go ahead and tell my son about the surgery before he comes. Who knows, he might even surprise me with some new maturity. (One can only hope!)

I was terrified my husband would be just like yours and think I just wasn't "trying enough." This, after watching me join diet program after diet program and lose & gain back hundreds of lbs over the past 30 year! How is that not trying? I put up with years of ridicule from him about my weight and even when I did lose, I'd get no support or positive feedback. So, I was very nervous approaching him about me wanting to have WLS - and surprisingly he was relieved! He was really worried I would die or be very disabled soon because of my weight. And now that I've made this commitment and he sees I am really serious about it - he's been truly supportive. I've had to educate him too about what life will be like for me postop - the good and the bad - so nothing comes as a surprise to him. Your husband clearly has some problems about doctors but those shouldn't have to be your problems. It's unfair to you for him to make it so - you are no doubt making a very informed decision and not an emotional one, whereas he likely isn't very informed about the surgery or your risks in not having it - and he likely is reacting purely emotionally. Maybe putting it to him like that might help? Ask him to keep an open mind long enough to learn the facts and withhold any judgement until he knows more about the actual chances of risks and the high rate of benefits.

I had the same though - I am scheduled in Nov too and thought about tossing my summer clothes. But since I really don't know how much I will lose or how fast, I think I will hold onto them until I KNOW they are too big, and then it will be even more fun bagging them up for Goodwill!

Tissiegirl - nothing wrong with calling your insurance company to make sure they have everything. I did and they were very nice and told me I had been approved before I had heard anything from my doctor's office.

I posted about a month and a half ago that I hadn't had any issues with this Rx. But since then I have developed horrible insomnia and racing heart even on the days when I don't take it. I am now stuck in an awful sort-of-love/hate relationship with it. When I take it, I lose weight without much effort. If I don't take it, my weight shoots right back up, even when I eat the same. So I only take it about 1-2 times a week and only half a pill then, but I still end up with my heart racing like crazy and lying wide awake until 4 or 5 in the morning all the rest of the days of the week. This is SO not worth it!! Right now I am just trying to maintain my weight loss until my surgery next month, but I am going to have to find a way to do it without these evil pills.

Hi - I am still pre-op but trying to understand all the changes I will need to go thru after having bypass. One of the things that confuses me is in the packet of info given to us by the WLS nutritionist, it repeatedly lists only sugar-free stuff, fat-free stuff, etc. I've been a life-long dieter, and have probably lost & gained over 1000 lbs over the years, but one of the things I learned finally was that "diet" foods don't really help you lose weight, often because they aren't as satisfying and you tend to eat more. Also, I am a bit worried about all the chemicals in the "fake" food. Some of it I don't mind, like I love Crystal Light, but some of the fake sugar-free/fat-free versions of food are really really awful. So, what's the deal? Do we have to eat the diet sugar-free/fat-free versions of everything for the rest of lives? Is the reasoning behind this the lower calories or is it to avoid dumping? Are you allowed any real sugar or fat in small quantities - such as flavored coffee creamer in your coffee - or never at all? I'll do whatever is required, because I don't want to ever end up back where I am today. Just trying to understand what are the rules are and why.

kyrickchick64 - LOL. I thought "gutted" was some WLS terminology I just hadn't heard on here before!

They didn't ask me my past weight at all. My PCP just had to put in a letter that I had tried other weight loss programs and was not able to maintain a healthy weight. My surgeon's practice gave him a sample letter as a guide and he used it almost exactly, just changing my name and a couple of minor details. Guess they have that part down to a science. :-) I do think it a lot of it is about the wording and knowing what specific wording your particular insurance company is looking for to meet their requirements.

Hi - I had my pre-op endoscopy today and the doctor said I had a "significantly large hiatal hernia". What does that mean for my upcoming surgery? My surgeon had said I could do either the sleeve or the bypass (though I want to have bypass). Does this prevent me from having one or the other? Or both? (God, I hope not!!) I thought I had read some people had it fixed at the same time, but I don't remember which surgery they had or any of the details. Anyone here have one and what impact did it have?

These are great! Thank you. I'd also add that looking to authoritative sources for the actual facts on any health related issues is much better than personal accounts, anecdotes, blogs, opinions, etc. There is a wealth of statistics from national health organizations, world class hospitals/medical centers, and long-term scientific studies. Personal experiences vary so greatly and we rarely know all the factors that play into someone's individual complications or successes.

I am preop still too and trying to lose some before surgery because I am impatient and want to feel better NOW! I've lost 25 lbs in the past 3 months, not nearly as fast as I will lose after surgery, but I try to view each pound off as a gift. It's incredibly hard for me to lose any weight by dieting - hence the reason I am going for something as drastic as surgery and I am sure the same is true for you. If it came off easy, we wouldn't need the surgery! Have you been using anything like myFitnessPal to track your food & weight? I have, and it's been very interesting to see all the crazy ups and downs and how it rarely makes any sense. I have 2-3 week stalls even when I am doing everything right. And then I might have a big loss after splurging and eating very badly. Go figure. But - the main thing is overall I am 25 lbs better off than I was before. I can drive myself a bit crazy weighing every day but I can't seem to make myself stop that 40 year habit. You are 11 lbs lighter and healthier than you were a month ago! That's something to Celebrate. And you lost that in 2 weeks, so your body is just pausing and doing a little "hey, what's going on here?" bit and needs a little more time to get used to the changes. Don't go back to your old habits because that will guarantee that you don't lose any more and you will likely gain back quickly what you've worked so hard to lose. Hang in there. If you are eating healthier than you were before and are feeling more energetic and better overall, then try not to sweat too much about what the scale says. Knowing I will have surgery soon and will have that HUGE help to get the rest of the weight off and hopefully keep it off the rest of my life, helps me obsess a little less when I don't see progress for a couple of weeks.

Thanks! How do they taste?

I check for your posts every now and then to see how you are doing. So sorry you are having so much trouble! I hope they can get things fixed once & for all this time for you! I'm pulling for you. :-)

Jolisue - My endoscopy showed a huge hiatal hernia too so your post made me realize I might need to be prepared for a longer surgery. Thanks!

My surgeon doesn't require any kind of preop diet other than full liguids the day before. I've been on Rx diet pills from my PCP though to help jumpstart things a bit and give me some relief from the bad effects of my weight on my back & knees. I've lost 24 lbs so far which has already made a big difference so I can't wait to see what 100+ lbs does!

HI! I am scheduled for Nov 10th too. I am starting with very similar stats to yours. I understand your fears. I've had more surgeries than I can count, but I still get very nervous before each one. It IS scary! But I have to admit, I've never been excited about a surgery before, so this does feel weird. This is the first one that I feel like is really my choice, one I want to have because of the very positive, life-changing effects it can have. My quality of life has been the pits for quite a while and it's exciting to think of how much better it will be because of this surgery. So, maybe not excited about the surgery itself - I am excited about the results! The surgery is just a step.